Cellblock Cafe

January 7, 2006 10:04 AM

Cooking Behind Bars. In 1986, upon my arrival at the county jail, my cooking lessons began. There, I witnessed men using empty toothpaste tubes as spoons, and burning toilet paper to heat up coffee or reheat the food served. Complete with recipes.
posted by gottabefunky (34 comments total)

Dont forget dessert and vino!
posted by TedW at 10:27 AM on January 7, 2006

this is really something. it warms my heart to read about.
nice post.
posted by nola at 11:10 AM on January 7, 2006

At the bottom of the Vino link there is a Google ad for diabetic socks.

I thought this funny -- as well as the whole Vino article.
posted by RubberHen at 11:18 AM on January 7, 2006

Gee what a great job our country's jails are doing punishing criminals that they have time an supplies to cook fine meals...
posted by MrBobaFett at 11:21 AM on January 7, 2006

...what a great job our country's jails are doing punishing criminals...

Wait, I thought our prison system was supposed to reform the criminals, so that they could become productive members of society again? What's this punishment stuff?
posted by nlindstrom at 11:31 AM on January 7, 2006

MrBobaFett, I thought they were rehabilitating the criminals. What, they are just supposed to sit there and stare off into space all day? That should make them productive members of society.
posted by Roger Dodger at 11:32 AM on January 7, 2006

or what nlindstrom said.
posted by Roger Dodger at 11:32 AM on January 7, 2006

MrBobaFett, those that are in jail/prison got nothing but time, and there's always a black market.
posted by exlotuseater at 11:33 AM on January 7, 2006

prison wine is usually called pruno.
Got prunes?
posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 11:34 AM on January 7, 2006

Jail is for punishment and protection. Punish the criminals, protect society. If you want to rehabilitate them, that's great. Do that after punishing them.

Yes they pretty much need to sit there in that one room all day staring into space for however long their sentence is, thinking about how craptastic this is and if they don't want to do it again they should seriously consider not harming society again.
posted by MrBobaFett at 12:08 PM on January 7, 2006

If you're going to be the prison bitch you might as well cook
posted by snoktruix at 12:30 PM on January 7, 2006

From the link *** Excerpt from an unpublished manuscript ***

He has a decent writing style, I was hoping that there was more about culinary life in detention.

MrBobaFertt thinking about how craptastic this is and if they don't want to do it again they should seriously consider not harming society again

Personally, I feel that punishing someone in the hopes that they will not want to get punished again only makes them figure out ways of how not to get punished again. This doesn't necessarily mean that they won't repeat their actions - they'll just try to be harder to catch (and learn/share these techniques with their fellow prisoners).

Rehabilitation - teaching someone that what they did was wrong and that there are alternatives to the (illegal) means that they employed to reach an end may be better at preventing future crime.

I suppose it depends on the individual. I suspect that some people will respond better to punishment, and others to rehabilitation.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 12:31 PM on January 7, 2006

Teaching their fellow prisoners? That should be rather hard since they should not be socializing. There would be 1 maybe 2 people they see (their cell mates) in their time there.
They should be able to figure out what they did is wrong.
However I never said don't use rehabillitation. It should be seperate from the punishment. Sentencing should be at least two parts. The punishment, then the rehabilitation/resocialization/probationay period. Maybe that second part is decided after they have served their full sentence.
posted by MrBobaFett at 12:37 PM on January 7, 2006

Pruno, and other awful drinks (self link).
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:39 PM on January 7, 2006

Bobafett, it's time to unclench.

I hope you don't ever break any laws. Like, smoking weed or jaywalking. Otherwise, you need to suffer too.
posted by Hildegarde at 1:46 PM on January 7, 2006

Jail is for punishment and protection. Punish the criminals, protect society. If you want to rehabilitate them, that's great. Do that after punishing them.

Because incarceration alone just isn't punishment enough?

Even assuming you had a lot of amenities that made your life comfortable, even assuming a benign social environment, even assuming a freakin' concierge, the loss of the freedom to choose who you associate with and where you go would be a pretty significant loss and punishment. As it is, many prisoners have limited access to amenities, comforts, a hellish social environment, a high probability of some kind of assault, and the caprice of the guards instead.

So I'm happy that within their situation, prisoners find benign and useful hobbies that are nourishing to whatever humanity they've got. Especially among those who will, someday, be my fellow members of society again. And yours too. In addition to compassion, that's a big reason why rehab is important.
posted by namespan at 2:19 PM on January 7, 2006

Nobody learns anything sitting around by themselves, with little to no social contact, stewing in their own juices. I think it would tend to make them angrier individuals. Yes, some prisoners deserve punishment, and just being in prison IS a punishment, whether they get to cook over burning toilet paper or not. But the US overincarcerates its population, and to suggest that making prisoners as miserable as possible will solve the problem of recidivism is a joke.
posted by Roger Dodger at 2:20 PM on January 7, 2006

but sir , wasnt boba fett a criminal himself ?
oh , the irony etc
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:21 PM on January 7, 2006

I hope you don't ever break any laws. Like, smoking weed or jaywalking. Otherwise, you need to suffer too.

I don't smoke pot, however pot should be legalized it is pointless to criminalize those who smoke pot.
Jaywalking is a far lesser offence than say armed robbery. A fine if sufficent punishment for something like jaywalking, while armed robbery should constitute at least several months imprisonment. While a rape would constitute a many many years, if not death.
posted by MrBobaFett at 2:35 PM on January 7, 2006

but sir , wasnt boba fett a criminal himself ?

lol, actually no. He was a bounty hunter, a legal profession.
posted by MrBobaFett at 2:37 PM on January 7, 2006

The vino link is solid comedy gold.
posted by letitrain at 2:43 PM on January 7, 2006

Slight derail -- From a web page about a WW II POW's experiences, here's some discussion of food that sounds pretty typical from what I've read of ETO POW experiences:


We celebrated holidays with a food bash from items especially saved for the occasion. Thanksgiving day was typical — An extra ration of potatoes all around with baked Spam, boiled cabbage, German bread with ersatz (imitation) honey, hot chocolate, and raisin pie, or chocolate cake, or both. Doesn't sound very great on paper but at the time it was a real feast; mainly, I suppose, because we could eat until we were full.

Raisin pie was made with dried fruit from the American food parcels. The crust was made from ground up graham crackers, margarine, and Klim mixed together and made into a dough. The dough was rolled out and layered onto a flat tin pan (hand made). Strangely, and I'm not a raisin pie buff, it tasted great (at the time).

Chocolate cake was made from ground up Canadian (hard) biscuits mixed with grated chocolate D-bars and sugar, powdered eggs from the English parcels, leavened with tooth powder also from the English parcels which consisted mainly of baking soda (never mind the clove flavor) and salt. A batter was made, using Klim whipped into a milk solution, placed into a pan and baked until done. This was a real treat — but later when we were liberated at Stalag VIIA in Moosburg, a piece was offered to one of our liberators who promptly spat it out and looked at us as though we were crazy.

posted by alumshubby at 2:47 PM on January 7, 2006

Jamaican, Puerto Rican, Dominican, Asian, African-American, Italian and Caucasian.

I agree that italian-americans should be considered separate from caucasians.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:02 PM on January 7, 2006

Teaching their fellow prisoners? That should be rather hard since they should not be socializing. There would be 1 maybe 2 people they see (their cell mates) in their time there.
They should be able to figure out what they did is wrong.
However I never said don't use rehabillitation. It should be seperate from the punishment. Sentencing should be at least two parts. The punishment, then the rehabilitation/resocialization/probationay period. Maybe that second part is decided after they have served their full sentence.
posted by MrBobaFett at 3:37 PM EST on January 7 [!]

A lot of shoulds and woulds.

I look forward to your newsletter on how you plan to revamp the entire justice system.
posted by exlotuseater at 5:03 PM on January 7, 2006

from virtualmuseum.ca

KLIM cans: Red Cross containers of powdered milk spelled backwards as "KLIM".

posted by MonkeySaltedNuts at 5:16 PM on January 7, 2006

FWIW, John Mandala, the cookbook author (if that is the real name), is in jail for manslaughter. He's got a parole hearing in a couple of months.

NY State Inmate Lookup

Date of Information: 01/07/06
DIN (Dept. Identif. Number) 89A1920
Inmate Name: MANDALA, JOHN
Sex: MALE
Date of Birth: 10/27/1950
Race/Ethnicity: WHITE
Custody Status: IN CUSTODY
Housing/Releasing Facility: WALLKILL
Date Received (Original): 02/27/1989
Date Received (Current): 10/17/1994
Admission Type: RET FROM COURT ORD DISCH
County of Commitment: NASSAU
Latest Release Date/Type:
Crime 1, Description: MANSLAUGHTER 1ST
Crime 1, Crime Class: B
Crime 2, Description: MANSLAUGHTER 1ST
Crime 2, Crime Class: B
Aggregate Minimum Sentence: 011 Years, 04 Months, 00 Days
Aggregate Maximum Sentence: 030 Years, 00 Months, 00 Days
Earliest Release Date: 03/28/2006
Earliest Release Type: PAROLE HEARING DATE
Parole Hearing Date: 03/2006
Parole Hearing Type: REAPPEARANCE (OR EARLIER CASE)
Parole Eligibility Date: 02/19/1998
Conditional Release Date: 10/19/2006
Maximum Expiration Date: 10/19/2016
posted by lampshade at 5:21 PM on January 7, 2006

Punish the criminals, protect society. If you want to rehabilitate them, that's great.

The loss of liberty *is* the punishment. Rehabilitation is what we do in attempt to protect society by seeking to ensure that offenders don't reoffend.

At least, that's how it's supposed to work in modern civilized societies.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:51 PM on January 7, 2006

but sir , although it is true that he was a bounty hunter as you say , was he not employed by the dark side ?
posted by sgt.serenity at 6:30 PM on January 7, 2006

but sir , although it is true that he was a bounty hunter as you say , was he not employed by the dark side ?

Are you asking if he was evil, or a criminal? He was employed by the law, that happened to be evil. I am sure after the second Death Star was blown up, and the Ewoks stopped dancing, the former rebels went Nuremberg on his ass. (assuming you accept the text that has him escape from the Sarlacc pit).
posted by thirteen at 11:49 PM on January 7, 2006

He was employed by the Empire (also known as the government). Of course if they could have paid enough he would have worked for the Alliance too I'm sure.
posted by MrBobaFett at 12:30 AM on January 8, 2006

Make your own pruno and may god have mercy on your soul

Where there's smoke, there's spinach

from The Black Table
posted by rxrfrx at 7:33 AM on January 8, 2006

Oh my god, I know the attorney who defended Mandala. The case was a big deal on Long Island at the time. If I remember correctly, Mandala caught his wife in bed with a bartender, went home, got a shotgun, came back, and blew them to bits. He then turned the gun on himself.

The case made the news because the attorney was able to get the jury to convict on the lesser charge of manslaughter rather than murder. It was a long time ago, though, so I may be remembering the details incorrectly.
posted by astruc at 11:27 AM on January 8, 2006

KLIM?!

Wow, I remember drinking that when I was a kid in HK. I still have a spoon with KLIM and a superman-lookalike stamped on the handle...
posted by PurplePorpoise at 1:26 PM on January 8, 2006

MrBobaFett clearly needs to be rehabilitated or locked away to protect society from his utterly calloused naivete. The certainty of the clueless is hazardous to everyone.
posted by Goofyy at 7:03 AM on January 9, 2006