Comments on: Uh, look, dude, it's not entirely impossible for you to get laid.

Uh, look, dude, it's not entirely impossible for you to get laid.

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 11:51:19 -0800

Uh, look, dude, it's not entirely impossible for you to get laid. (NSFW, I guess, as far as text can be)

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 11:56:46 -0800

Photos of the author. Because I figured you'd want to know too.

By: Marnie

Marnie — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:00:50 -0800

Darci R.: aspiring writer and Vice magazine reader

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:03:55 -0800

I love the Black Table. I'm going to miss it when it's gone.

By: cusack

cusack — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:05:12 -0800

Kind of strange how you could see the demise of blacktable.com coming from a long ways back...

By: Firas

Firas — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:06:04 -0800

What I love about that piece is that you can start at the beginning, read through to the end, and not come across an actual—ah, an actual non-cliche thought? Despite hundreds of words. How did she pull that off?

By: bondcliff

bondcliff — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:10:01 -0800

I thought it was actually pretty good advice. Certainly much better than all the other bullshit "rules" I've read. Too bad I'm already married, I just bought a really bitchin' sweater.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:11:14 -0800

It's all about standards. If you're standards are too high, you can't get laid, unless you're really good looking.

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:15:45 -0800

I prefer this guide. FAULTLESS.

By: PurplePorpoise

PurplePorpoise — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:18:45 -0800

So this ... sweater (?) thing, where does one get one?

By: craniac

craniac — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:25:03 -0800

As she nods off at the bar, a cigarette sizzling between her knuckles, innocently suggest that you drive her home. While on the bus to your place with your soon-to-be conquest, offer compliments to offset any insecurity brought out by the intense glare of fluorescent lighting.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:30:04 -0800

If I follow these rules, then how can I get the girls who like guys who don't follow rules to like me?

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:32:06 -0800

Dude, if you don't want rules you don't need 'em! There are plenty of chicks who dig bad boys!

By: doctor_negative

doctor_negative — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:44:11 -0800

I am by birth a female, with two tits and a fully functional va-jay Is a va-jay some sort of obsure vacuum cleaner I've never heard of, or something?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:47:07 -0800

They're genital deejays! Everybody's getting one!

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:47:14 -0800

Kind of strange how you could see the demise of blacktable.com coming from a long ways back... Yeah, like how they stopped updating the side links a good 6 months ago. Still, I'm going to miss it. Especially the Black List.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 12:59:54 -0800

A fucking sweater?

By: Evstar

Evstar — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:07:00 -0800

No, slimepuppy. A fucking sweater. There's a difference.

By: cusack

cusack — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:09:03 -0800

uhhh... i believe the proper term is "va-jay-jay."

By: jonmc

jonmc — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:10:19 -0800

What a dumb broad.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:13:00 -0800

I heard Paris Hilton has one, and does some mad scratching on it.

By: cusack

cusack — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:19:03 -0800

oh no you din't!!!

By: amberglow

amberglow — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:19:51 -0800

I love the Black Table. I'm going to miss it when it's gone. Me too. A great great site.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:24:19 -0800

Uh, amber, I first landed there on your suggestion. :)

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:32:49 -0800

schroedinger, I hate to break it to you, but nobody buys into those nice rules anymore. If people talk about "rules for guys" today, they usually just mean how to be self confident, maybe even a little bit of a jerk. Such rules help many guys, as confidence is often the problem. And Ms. Ratliff's makes the same mistake as most women who write rules for guys by neglecting this point. But only #4 seems like bad advice. Its nice she understand that "game" is men's responce to the expectations of women, but she is wrong to imagine its only the higest maintenance women who cause the problem, although they are worse.

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 13:47:32 -0800

I'm sad Blacktable is dying- what will I do without my Friday dose of "Week in Craig"?

By: schroedinger

schroedinger — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:11:15 -0800

By: bardic

bardic — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:28:53 -0800

This was good. The only thing I'd add would be this piece of wisdom: "If you were me, would you take yourself home?"

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:30:40 -0800

This sweater makes me irresistible. It really works.

By: blendor

blendor — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:44:47 -0800

Gotta agree with fixedgear - I realized recently the chicks really dig the half-zip.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:49:16 -0800

Seriously, what the fuck? A sweater?

By: vacapinta

vacapinta — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 14:50:18 -0800

You've been taking advice from other dudes, and unless you're interested in fucking other dudes (which I have very few tips on), you might want to consider going straight to the source: me. I am by birth a female, with two tits and a fully functional va-jay. I'd say that qualifies me as an expert in what women are attracted to, and as such, my insight into your dilemma might prove to be valuable The flawed premise is that girls will tell you what they should want not what they actually want. (this is a problem with human beings in general - I'm not picking on women) Guys, rather succesful guys, will give you valuable advice on what works in practice, not in theory.

By: iron chef morimoto

iron chef morimoto — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 15:09:45 -0800

No, slimepuppy. A fucking sweater. There's a difference. A fucking sweater has little knitted naked people humping away on it. Typically a single daisy chain wrapping around it chest-high, but there are other variations.

By: bardic

bardic — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 15:16:23 -0800

It's like the shield of Achilles. But for your joint.

By: afu

afu — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:06:33 -0800

Wow that was crap. The Ladder theory, while equally full of shit, is much more original and entertaining.

By: afu

afu — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:08:42 -0800

fixed gear, those sweaters are f'ing sweet, but 210 bucks!

By: Decani

Decani — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:15:11 -0800

Well, that's all very well unless you're cripplingly shy, incurably unconfident and prone to anxiety impotence. No no, I don't mean me! I'm talking about this guy I knew once!

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:27:46 -0800

Do not, repeat, do not wear the same sweater every day of your life. It will get you laughed at, not laid.

By: bardic

bardic — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:29:30 -0800

mrgrimm, you obviously haven't seen the pussy Bill Cosby was getting. Up to his waist in it.

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:42:00 -0800

Blacktable comes to an end

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Tue, 10 Jan 2006 20:22:49 -0800

The Ladder theory Funny, funny stuff. For some reason, I get the feeling that whoever came up with Ladder theory was a big Devo fan.

By: c13

c13 — Sat, 14 Jan 2006 01:51:26 -0800

A fucking sweater? posted by slimepuppy at 3:59 PM EST on January 10 [!] No, slimepuppy. A fucking sweater. There's a difference. posted by Evstar at 4:07 PM EST on January 10 [!] This is great.