The Last Supper

January 15, 2006 9:49 AM

Dead Man Eating:THOMAS GRASSO, OKLAHOMA, 1995-- a dozen steamed mussels, a Burger King double cheeseburger with mustard, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomato, a can of Franco-American spaghetti with meatballs, a mango, half of a pumpkin pie with whipped cream, and a strawberry milkshake. But, there was a problem. Mr. Grasso had been served spaghetti and meatballs, but had actually requested Spaghetti-O's. He did not take this slight lightly, his last words included this complaint, "I did not get my Spaghetti-O's. I got spaghetti. I want the press to know this!"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy (71 comments total)

Not too many vegans on death row.
posted by fixedgear at 10:00 AM on January 15, 2006

Interesting post. I'd probably have to go with the semi-traditional steak and potatoes. Don't people evacuate their bowels when executed, or does that depend on the manner of death? I guess that doesn't happen with lethal injection. I ask this because my feelings towards my executioners may have a bearing on my choice for my last meal.
posted by marxchivist at 10:03 AM on January 15, 2006

I remember when Texas stopped publishing their death row inmates' last meals. Thought it was rather strange at the time.

Let me also point out this completely bizarre performance-art "article" on MrBreakfast.com about breakfast, "serious crimes," and death row (mentioned in this recent thread).

I don't know what I would ask for as my last meal. I love all kinds of food. Maybe chateaubriand, which I've only been able to afford once in my life.
posted by Gator at 10:14 AM on January 15, 2006

Roast camel bedouin style.
posted by Protocols of the Elders of Awesome at 10:16 AM on January 15, 2006

I think I would also go with Spaghetti-Os. For your last meal, you really should order something you know that you like.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:17 AM on January 15, 2006

As someone who developed severe lactose intolerance in my 20's, I'd probably go for a 4-cheese pizza, chocolate milkshake, and a chocolate-dipped soft ice cream cone for dessert.

Let them deal with the consequences.
posted by Kickstart70 at 10:18 AM on January 15, 2006

I think exotic requests are unlikely to be honored.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:31 AM on January 15, 2006

Were if ever executed, I think I'd like my last meal to be...

a buffet.
posted by jonmc at 10:35 AM on January 15, 2006

I'll have the Dodo bird.
posted by StickyCarpet at 10:39 AM on January 15, 2006

See also this previous Metafilter post.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:41 AM on January 15, 2006

There's a less flippant piece on prisoners' last meals here.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:43 AM on January 15, 2006

Right, and it's also in crash davis' link.
posted by thirteenkiller at 10:44 AM on January 15, 2006

I will have a bison stuffed with a llama stuffed with a goat stuffed with a badger stuffed with a lemur stuffed with truffles--seasoned liberally with saffron. With a fresh OK Cola and a Bologna Lunchables on the side.
posted by sourwookie at 10:49 AM on January 15, 2006

Lunchables upset me.
posted by jonmc at 10:52 AM on January 15, 2006

I agree--way overpriced. $3.50 for 8 Ritz crackers, one once of turkey and an ounce of processed cheese?! Oscar Meyer should be on death row.
posted by sourwookie at 10:54 AM on January 15, 2006

As an asid, I've always wanted to write/produce a thirty minute network sitcom (complete with laughtrack) set on deathrow.
posted by sourwookie at 10:55 AM on January 15, 2006

Well, that's bad but the minature aspect of them. They look dangerously close to pleasure pellets.
posted by jonmc at 10:56 AM on January 15, 2006

jonmc, think of them as the tween step of playtoys and food.
posted by Busithoth at 10:56 AM on January 15, 2006

A small, rare, filet mignon with a glass of Château Latour '45, please.
2045.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:57 AM on January 15, 2006

Don't people evacuate their bowels when executed, or does that depend on the manner of death?

According to "In Cold Blood," Perry Smith declined a last meal for that very reason. He couldn't bear the thought of that final indignity.
posted by jrossi4r at 10:59 AM on January 15, 2006

Maybe chateaubriand, which I've only been able to afford once in my life.
posted by Gator at 1:14 PM EST on January 15
Don't die in a Federal prison. The feds have a $20.00 limit. The states vary:

North Carolina allows whatever the inmate wants "within reason" No alcohol. No cigarettes. Takeout is popular. But rabbit stew wasn't offered because no restaurants were serving it the day it was requested.

Texas offers only what can be made within the prison.

But in 2001 Indiana allowed convicted murderer Gerald Wayne Bliins' mom to cook his last meal in the prison: German ravioli and chicken and dumplings.

Virginia offers only items off the most recent 29 day menu.

Florida has a $20.00 limit.

Maryland does not allow any special request.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 11:00 AM on January 15, 2006

jonmc, think of them as the tween step of playtoys and food.

Well, once I was on my way to the bookstore, and I stopped into a convenience store for cigarrettes. One item the had on the snack rack was a pre-packaged miniature peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich on miniature bread. I bought it, along with a bag of mini-Pecan Sandies cookies. When I got to the bookstore, I had a buddy of mine who worked in the espresso bar get me one of those tiny cups of espresso and sat in the cafe slowly eating the whole shebang. If anyone looked at me funny, I said, "It's a special diet. Haven't you heard of microbiotics?"
posted by jonmc at 11:01 AM on January 15, 2006

From the "Monster" last meal entry: lesbian, prostitute and the confessed killer of seven men...

Which of these things is not like the others?
posted by VulcanMike at 11:03 AM on January 15, 2006

"What would you like for your last meal?"
"Mushrooms"
"Mushrooms?, Why mushrooms?"
"I was always afraid to eat those."

--Henny Youngman
posted by HTuttle at 11:04 AM on January 15, 2006

"Were if ever executed, I think I'd like my last meal to be...

a buffet."

I seem to recall reading a SciFi short years ago about a death row inmate who asked for a similar meal, but kept eating and eating and outlived his executioners.
posted by Mutant at 11:05 AM on January 15, 2006

I'd have my last meal be the form of my execution.
posted by Citizen Premier at 11:15 AM on January 15, 2006

They look dangerously close to pleasure pellets.

One of these might make a nice bite-sized snack.
posted by StickyCarpet at 11:19 AM on January 15, 2006

Perry Smith dies in the end? How about a spoiler warning next time, jrossi4r?

Just foolin'.

Seriously, though, I'm reading In Cold Blood right now, and the jury has just handed down its verdict.
posted by emelenjr at 11:24 AM on January 15, 2006

I'll have a lethal-injection antidote slushie, please
posted by lobstah at 11:28 AM on January 15, 2006

Who is going to be the first MeFite to buy and wear a DME thong?
posted by Xurando at 11:31 AM on January 15, 2006

“Well they gave me some beans for my last meal I've got 23 minutes to go” —Johnny Cash
posted by LeLiLo at 11:32 AM on January 15, 2006

As much water as I can drink. I want to explode and make a mess for them to clean up.
posted by IronWolve at 11:59 AM on January 15, 2006

Do it yourself hanging machine Dear Warden,
I would consider it a personal favor if you could put off the doings tonight for a little while. There's a radio serial I want to hear.
Sincerely,
Harry Leopold
posted by hortense at 11:59 AM on January 15, 2006

A small, rare, filet mignon with a glass of Château Latour '45, please.

I'll make arrangements with the prison's sommelier. Care to smell the cork?
posted by horsewithnoname at 12:06 PM on January 15, 2006

If you're going to die anyway, why not Fugu?

You might cheat them out of the satisfaction of pulling the switch/pressing the plunger.
posted by mrbill at 12:25 PM on January 15, 2006

But in 2001 Indiana allowed convicted murderer Gerald Wayne Bliins' mom to cook his last meal in the prison: German ravioli and chicken and dumplings.

That may well be the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard. I can't imagine cooking for your child knowing it will be their last meal and that you're powerless to stop it.
posted by duck at 12:48 PM on January 15, 2006

But in 2001 Indiana allowed convicted murderer Gerald Wayne Bliins' mom to cook his last meal in the prison: German ravioli and chicken and dumplings.

That may well be the most heartbreaking thing I've ever heard. I can't imagine cooking for your child knowing it will be their last meal and that you're powerless to stop it.
posted by duck at 12:48 PM on January 15, 2006

Perry Smith dies in the end? How about a spoiler warning next time, jrossi4r?

Nah, he escapes in the end. A hot blonde driving a red convertable stuffs him in the trunk and drives off a high bridge, crashing into the deck of a speedboat that then proceeds to outrun the Coast Guard and deliver him alive, albeit bruised and battered, to a friendly drug kingpin in Columbia. Oh, and his mom dies.
posted by nlindstrom at 12:49 PM on January 15, 2006

Longpig casserole, please.... Why, what'cha gonna do 'bout it?
posted by klaatu at 12:49 PM on January 15, 2006

Well, it's a shame people get executed and this website only emphasises the barbarism of the practice.
posted by mokey at 12:58 PM on January 15, 2006

But in 2001 Indiana allowed convicted murderer Gerald Wayne Bliins' mom

Sorry. That should read Gerald Wayne Blivins.

The question of the last meal is a popular subject, partly because we wonder how we stack-up with the worst of humanity and partly because it humanizes the executed.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 1:10 PM on January 15, 2006

jonmc - Haven't you heard of microbiotics?

You were sitting in the kid's section with the kid-sized furniture, right?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 1:11 PM on January 15, 2006

The only interesting ones are the decliners. Participating in this ritual seems like endorsing one's own execution.
posted by jam_pony at 1:23 PM on January 15, 2006

duck, I agree with you -- it's actually worse than you know. The guy's mother tried to kill herself after she had dinner with him.

Eye-for-an-eye savagery redeems no one at all. I find all of the elaborate procedures and protocol surrounding the modern application of the death penalty particularly disingenious. The automatic appeals, the many official documents and writs and certificates, the clinical nature of the killing -- all of it is intended to keep the individuals who kill from feeling personally culpable.
posted by killdevil at 1:24 PM on January 15, 2006

I'm surprised any of these people had an appetite, considering what was about to transpire.
posted by alumshubby at 1:35 PM on January 15, 2006

"Not too many vegans on death row."

Not too many vegans, period.
posted by Eideteker at 1:48 PM on January 15, 2006

I believe this was discussed in an episode of Homicide from 1995--during a nice exchange between Bayless and Pembleton.
posted by dsword at 1:49 PM on January 15, 2006

A hot blonde driving a red convertable stuffs him in the trunk and drives off a high bridge

I always knew Suzanne Somers was evil.
posted by Gator at 2:00 PM on January 15, 2006

I agree with duck. A mother cooking her son's last meal... why not just put her in the chair while they're at it, it'd probably be less painful.
posted by JHarris at 2:35 PM on January 15, 2006

Killdevil -- The story is very sad. Bivens was convicted for killing a minister whom he was attempting to rob at a rest stop in Indiana because Bivens recognized the minister as a person who had coordinated a rehabilitation clinic at which Bivens had earlier (and unsuccessfully) been enrolled.
posted by esquire at 2:47 PM on January 15, 2006

Kickstart 70, I'm in the same boat as you.
And as such, found your solution to be both appealing and hilarious.
posted by slimepuppy at 2:55 PM on January 15, 2006

killdevil: [...] the clinical nature of the killing [...]

What the hell are you talking about?
posted by spazzm at 2:57 PM on January 15, 2006

The automatic appeals, the many official documents and writs and certificates, the clinical nature of the killing -- all of it is intended to keep the individuals who kill from feeling personally culpable

Heh, you'd prefer the warden and inmate fight to the death, like with knives or something?
posted by scheptech at 3:13 PM on January 15, 2006

Heh, you'd prefer the warden and inmate fight to the death, like with knives or something?

It would mean a lot fewer execuations, I'm sure.
posted by duck at 3:32 PM on January 15, 2006

From spazzm's link:

Later it was revealed that the executioner, Barry Bruce, was drunk.

I don't imagine this is very easy on the executioner's either. I'd hate to walk around my whole life knowing I'd killed someone.
posted by duck at 3:40 PM on January 15, 2006

...as a society, breakfast lovers are 93% less likely to commit serious crimes.

Wow, that article is indeed a piece of shit.
posted by youarenothere at 4:14 PM on January 15, 2006

Everytime I see a thing on the death penalty I just think about how racist this country is...
posted by j-urb at 4:23 PM on January 15, 2006

No, it isn't easy on anyone involved, it isn't cheap, and it demonstrably doesn't dissuade people from committing new crimes.

So why are we still doing it, other than the fact that eye-for-an-eye retribution (i.e., the meting out of punishment by the social group in direct proportion to the offense) is in our genes and thus also in our religion and our culture?
posted by killdevil at 4:47 PM on January 15, 2006

Killdevil: Any evidence it's in our genes? Seriously.
posted by duck at 4:50 PM on January 15, 2006

The filppant attitude this website takes toward the death penalty is rather upsetting. Even for those who support the practice, the taking of a human life - criminal or otherwise - is nothing to make light of.

I realize that there are limits to the requests the condemned can make, but looking through the last meals reveals a decidedly lower class palate (that sounds incredibly snobbish, but I'm unable to better express the idea at the moment). It suggests, as j-urb has already pointed out, that those with the least are the most likely to die at the hands of the state.

Sadly, a short sermon delivered on Metafilter doesn't help matters very much.
posted by aladfar at 4:54 PM on January 15, 2006

Duck: absolutely. There are bunches of experiments conducted by behavorists and economists demonstrating that individuals and social groups will go out of their way (even to the extent of disadvantaging or harming themselves) in order to punish a transgressor. Punishment is usually proportional to the transgression.


Here's a PDF link to one such study that I remember reading about. This google search may also be helpful.
posted by killdevil at 5:00 PM on January 15, 2006

Fuck. From spazzm's link:

The execution was witnessed by a Florida State Senator, Ginny Brown-Waite, who at first was "shocked" to see the blood, until she realized that the blood was forming the shape of a cross and that it was a message from God saying he supported the execution.

posted by blag at 5:05 PM on January 15, 2006

aladfar: I suspect your conclusion is right, but I wonder if the "lower class palate" trend would really hold. If you were to compare, say, 20 year old black males from poor families with 50 year old white CEOs then, yes, you will probably see a distinct difference between palates. But if you compared 20 year old poor black males with 20 year old rich white males, I would guess that the difference would have more to do with geography and urban vs. rural.
posted by mullacc at 5:18 PM on January 15, 2006

Reading spazzm's link is truly painful. No country that condones this should consider itself civilized.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:22 PM on January 15, 2006

Spazzm, the lethal injection procedures are all very orderly, sterile and clinical -- which makes them all the more scary. In practice, of course, when you have nervous prison guards inexpertly trying to ram the IV home, things can get messy.

The thing is, if we're willing as a society to do the deed, why aren't we willing to hang em publicly from the modern equivalent of the Tyburn Tree? That it's done in a white-tiled chamber far from public view implies that the death penalty is a shameful thing (which it surely is).
posted by killdevil at 5:24 PM on January 15, 2006

Marv: Is that the best you can do, you pansies?

~Sin City
posted by bwg at 10:36 PM on January 15, 2006

Metafilter: Doesn't help matters very much.
posted by Duncan at 11:27 PM on January 15, 2006

What the hell are you talking about?
posted by spazzm at 2:57 PM PST on January 15 [!]

Equally if not even more disgusting is, say, the prosecutor's information/detailed confession of Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer (who escaped the death penalty). Or the details of any other death penalty offense.
posted by onegreeneye at 1:48 AM on January 16, 2006

There's another thing. This last meal tradition must say something subtle about the whole institution of capital punishment. I mean, why, if someone is so evil they need to be killed by the state, should they also give him a pleasurable send-off? Might there not be a little bit of guilt involved? A little bit of saying, "Well, we don't really like that we are doing this." So something nice might protect us from our own culpability?
posted by donfactor at 3:45 AM on January 16, 2006

No Chineese food that's for sure.

I'd hate to get hungry again just before the show.
posted by SwingingJohnson1968 at 7:52 AM on January 16, 2006

FYI; when I go. I'd prefer a plo chop than a lamb chop.
posted by longbaugh at 8:45 AM on January 16, 2006