Join 3,425 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


You know it makes sense
January 19, 2006 1:55 PM   Subscribe

Its that time of year again, don't be un-Australian this Australia Day. You know it makes sense. (1st link is .wmv)
posted by fullysic (35 comments total)

 
What would Bill Bryson make of this Australian classic I wonder?
posted by tellurian at 2:06 PM on January 19, 2006


I was going to try to explain this for our international friends, but it's too hard.
posted by wilful at 2:19 PM on January 19, 2006


.
posted by tellurian at 2:28 PM on January 19, 2006


Can I be un-dressed ?
posted by elpapacito at 2:49 PM on January 19, 2006


Australia sucks.
posted by delmoi at 2:50 PM on January 19, 2006


Every thread involving Australia lately gets this precious little delmoi turd dropped into it. Sparkling!
posted by Wolof at 3:05 PM on January 19, 2006


Don't feel special. He thinks Oregon is in the middle of nowhere.

Pretty fucking impressive coming from a guy in Iowa. Geography-envy maybe?
posted by Mijo Bijo at 3:12 PM on January 19, 2006


(that link is actually an mpg, and it opened in native QT on a Mac, so it's not Windows Media).

That Sam, guy, is he speaking English? Hard to understand him sometimes. I take it he thinks lamb is mighty important to Australian identity.

Good to know, Sam. Lamb, it's what's for diner! (is that what this post amounts to? a lamb industry ad? I'm kind of confused).
posted by teece at 3:24 PM on January 19, 2006


I thought that ad was more inflammatory than last year's.

Nice piss-take, but. Glad to see that the screaming dweebs haven't complained. (Yet!)
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:33 PM on January 19, 2006


Also known as Day of Mourning, Survival Day, and, occasionally, Invasion Day.

*ducking*
posted by Uccellina at 4:04 PM on January 19, 2006


teece, I believe he's selling lamb by looking Presidential but being hyper-Australian. It's a wild exaggeration intended as humor. He's poking fun at himself and other Australians.

It's very similar to that Molson's ad about being "Canadian, dammit".... except in that case they were selling beer.

I smiled... it was cute. It was much easier to understand with my eyes closed, though. For some reason, watching his face makes the language very hard to hear.
posted by Malor at 4:05 PM on January 19, 2006


That ad really makes me want to go out and get a gyro.
posted by Mijo Bijo at 4:12 PM on January 19, 2006


Thanks, Malor. I thought it was humor, but I wasn't completely sure. But it is an ad, right?

It was only very slightly funny to me, but then again, I'm not an Australian, and at a few spots it took me a second or two to figure out what he had just said, which I bet killed the humor.
posted by teece at 4:43 PM on January 19, 2006


As a whingeing pommie bastard I'd just like to say happy Ozday to all our antipodean friends, and we've got the Ashes, ha ha ha, yes we have. Not you. The Poms have them. The Ashes. Ha ha.
posted by Decani at 5:13 PM on January 19, 2006


The guy is Sam Kekovich. He played elite level Aussie football back when it was footbrawl (and when it was called VFL, not AFL). He was one of the first sportsmen to "get his kit off" for a magazine photo shoot. Put a lot of people in a tizz back then. Now, of course, it's passe.

So, who is Sam? Slamming Sam Kekovich was the hard man of the VFL back when men were men and so were some of the women tennis players. Nothing moved on the North Melbourne half-back flank without his written permission!

He had a regular gig on a sports variety program called The Fat where he'd say similarly inflammatory, tongue-in-cheek stuff.

Which was, in turn, a piss-take of a daily rant done by The Parrot, Alan Jones. Alan Jones is sorta your Rush Limbaugh type, I guess.

Alan Jones has lead an extraordinary life.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:18 PM on January 19, 2006



Woops. I just repeated the 3rd link.

Carry on then chaps.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:27 PM on January 19, 2006


I'm with quonsar...

"That countries impose the death penalty is not sufficient reason for Australia to disengage in collaborative efforts. That would damage Australia's fight against terrorism and transnational crime."

So, while you eat meat, I'm going to celebrate Orstraya Day watching Iggy and the Stooges.
posted by strawberryviagra at 7:52 PM on January 19, 2006


Did I say quonsar - I meant delmoi...
posted by strawberryviagra at 7:53 PM on January 19, 2006


As a whingeing pommie bastard I'd just like to say happy Ozday to all our antipodean friends, and we've got the Ashes, ha ha ha, yes we have. Not you. The Poms have them. The Ashes. Ha ha.

We'll see how long that lasts. And then of course english cricket will go back into its long languid torpor, as all the bandwagon fans quickly retreat to where they came from.
posted by wilful at 7:54 PM on January 19, 2006


Mine says Chop Gun

Brilliant.
posted by Staggering Jack at 8:14 PM on January 19, 2006


The guy is Sam Kekovich. He played elite level Aussie football

Yes, he is a household name in parts of Melbourne.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:26 PM on January 19, 2006


As an Australian it's hysterical because it's so completely straight faced.

Disturbingly, I saw it on teev the other night and it sort of made me want some lamb.

Mmmm. Lamb chops.
posted by t0astie at 9:27 PM on January 19, 2006


we've got the Ashes, ha ha ha, yes we have

Yes he said "trollops". That's right - trollops.
posted by DirtyCreature at 10:49 PM on January 19, 2006



His annunciation is a discrace. I dunno how you non-Aussies can understand a bloody word he's saying. Am looking for the script with no luck.

Found the script for last year's, but.

I take back what I said about this year's being more inflammatory.

There’s nothing worse than being unAustralian. I should know, I’ve been Australian all my life. And I’m sickened by the creeping tide of unAustralianism eroding our great traditions, like our custom of eating Lamb on Australia Day.

UnAustralianism is everywhere. For example, people wearing those plastic, brightly-coloured flip-flop shoes with flowers on them. What’s wrong with rubber thongs in simple primary colours?And if I hear another person say “thong", when they mean those swimming costumes poncey Brazilian blokes wear up their bums, I’ll do my block.

Sadly, the scourge of unAustralianism has even infected our national day. A balanced Australia Day diet should consist of a few nice, juicy lamb chops and beer. (And perhaps a bit of pavlova for those with a sweet tooth). Yet your long-haired, dole-bludging types are indulging their pierced tastebuds in all manner of exotic, foreign, often vegetarian cuisine: Chicken burger value meals, pizzas, a number 42 with rice… It’s an absolute disgrace. And people ask why we need capital punishment.

Do you think the diggers in the trenches were fighting for tofu sausages? No, they were thinking of grabbing a lamb chop off the barbie with their bare fingers, sustaining third degree burns, then sticking their hands into a relieving esky to fish out a cold one.

Look at our national song, Waltzing Matilda. It’s about a bloke trying to get a nice bit of lamb into his tuckerbag, not spicy chicken wings.

The soap-avoiding, pot-smoking, hippy vegetarians may disagree with me, but they can get stuffed. They know the way to the airport, and if they don’t I’ll show them.

So the message is clear – even for you backpackers: roll out the barbie, ensure the gas bottle’s filled, stack the fridge full of lamb, and prepare the invitation list. So don’t be unAustralian - serve lamb on Australia Day. You know it makes sense. I’m Sam Kekovich.


The Stuart adverts for the same mob are pretty funny, too.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:03 PM on January 19, 2006


Some real quick translations:

UnAustralian = favourite saying of politicians lately!

Thong = casual footwear.

Dole bludger = one who relies on government money.

Pavlova = traditional Australian dessert.

Digger = Australia soldier.

Barbie = BBQ.

Esky = ice box for storing drinks at picnics etc.

Waltzing Matilda = not our national Anthem but it is surely our national song. Written many many moons ago. It's about a 19th drifter who tries to steal a sheep but gets caught so he commits suicide rather than be taken alive. (Crikey!)

Get stuffed = get fucked. It used to be considered an outlandishly rude thing to say a generation or so ago.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:20 PM on January 19, 2006


Annunciation (sic)= enunciation?
posted by Cranberry at 11:32 PM on January 19, 2006


Found it.

Sort of. I've quickly corrected a very VERY badly done effort I found on a forum. This is prolly 99% correct now.

My fellow Australians, the incidents of un-Australian behaviour over the past year was enough to make me choke on my lamb chops, and it was all down to one thing: Not enough lamb.

For example, Australian models holidaying in Asia would get in a lot less trouble if they carried a couple of lamb chops in their handbags.

Lamb could've prevented the boofheads perpetrating violence on our beaches, it's bloody hard to bash someone with a cutlet.

And we might not have lost the Ashes if our cricketers picked up lamb chops, instead of mobile phones. Why on Earth did they dispatch lurid text messages to English trollops when plenty of Aussie sheilas would gladly target their middle stump?

Yet as mishaps have spread across the land, like bird flu through a Chinese chicken coup, what were we doing about it? Bugger all. It's time to remind ourselves of what lies at the core of our national identity: A lamb chop on a barbie.

Being Australian doesn't mean you have to call the opposition captain a wanker, even if he is. Or smother everything in tomato sauce, till it resembles an outpatient in a casualty ward. Or pull on a pair of budgie-smugglers. (I'd prefer you didn't.)

And you don't have to spend every Friday night on the piss till your best friend looks like Elle McPherson, throw up in the cab, then trip over the garden gnome before passing out on your front lawn.

In fact, to be as Australian as I am, don your apron - mine says "chop gun" - whack some nice juicy lamb chops on the barbie, invite everyone over, if you can't pronounce their name, just call them "mate", and celebrate living in the best bloody country on Earth.

So don't be un-Australian, serve lamb on Australia Day. You know it makes sense. I'm Sam Kekovich.

posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:43 PM on January 19, 2006


Annunciation (sic)= enunciation?

Sorry!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:44 PM on January 19, 2006


Some help with the references to the above:

For example, Australian models holidaying in Asia would get in a lot less trouble if they carried a couple of lamb chops in their handbags.

Australian model Michelle Leslie got caught with 2 disco biscuits in her handbag in Indonesia and faced some serious jail time (Barbarians!). Rumours are that she got off coz she was screwing the son of an Indon Government minister.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelle_Leslie


Lamb could've prevented the boofheads perpetrating violence on our beaches, it's bloody hard to bash someone with a cutlet.

Recent anti-Lebanese-immigrant violence in response to Lebanese immigrant violence against Australians. It's a messy situation. I can't be bothered explaining it any better. Info here:

http://news.google.com.au/news?hl=en&ned=&q=cronulla+riots&ie=UTF-8


And we might not have lost the Ashes

England vs. Australia cricket series that's been going on since 1877.


if our cricketers picked up lamb chops, instead of mobile phones.

Possibly due to the Oz team's sponsorship by a mobile phone company or… read the next bit…


Why on Earth did they dispatch lurid text messages to English trollops

Shane Warne – one of the greatest cricketers to ever live – is a cad and a bounder and he's a stupid bastard too. Gets horny and sends English women he's just met lewd text messages.

May 23 7.59pm: "Really? Rain? What about i meet you somewhere in the open and you can be standing there in the rain i can come meet you in the rain and then X"

May 23 8.12pm: "Will do where will we meet? will be a little while still though sexy! You have any ideas? want you standing out in the rain with nothing on"

Classy. Full text here:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15672981&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=exclusive--58--shane-s-at-it-again-name_page.html


when plenty of Aussie sheilas would gladly target their middle stump?

Stumps are what a cricketing batsman has to defend. There are 3 of them. Middle stump is also slang for penis. Sheila is slang for female.


Being Australian doesn't mean you have to call the opposition captain a wanker, even if he is.

A reference to the South African cricket captain, Graham Smith, I think. The Yarpies are over here touring at the moment. Playing a game against Australia as I type, in fact.


Or smother everything in tomato sauce, till it resembles an outpatient in a casualty ward.

You don't put ketchup on lamb. I think this is taking a swipe at beef.


Or pull on a pair of budgie-smugglers. (I'd prefer you didn't.)

Men's Speedos. As in the bulge looks like you are smuggling a budgerigar in your swimmers.


invite everyone over, if you can't pronounce their name

A reference to how many immigrants we've got living here now. When we're not trying to bash them up ha ha!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 12:17 AM on January 20, 2006


Nice piss-take, but. Glad to see that the screaming dweebs haven't complained. (Yet!)

Let the complaints begin....
posted by fullysic at 12:55 AM on January 20, 2006


strawberryviagra writes "Orstraya "

My aging cousin was threatening to call Holden about their claim of manufacturing the 'best car in Orstraya', he wants them to 'take that man of the television' and questions whether anyone has been to this Orstraya country?

Uncanny Hengeman, thanks for the breakdown. Funny how much one takes for granted.
posted by asok at 12:57 AM on January 20, 2006



I should have mentioned that at the time Shane Warne did that, he was married with 3 kids AND he had been caught philandering before.

You really should click that link to read the full series of SMSs.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/tm_objectid=15672981&method=full&siteid=94762&headline=exclusive--58--shane-s-at-it-again-name_page.html

What a grade A clown!

Fullysic, where are you? I'm doing your work, sizzlechest!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:09 AM on January 20, 2006


And you don't have to spend every Friday night on the piss till your best friend looks like Elle McPherson, throw up in the cab, then trip over the garden gnome before passing out on your front lawn.

Can anyone help me with that one? Is that a dig at the British? Seems unlikely that an Australian could attack another nation for drinking too much, but it seems to makes sense of the gnome and lawn reference.
posted by alasdair at 6:07 AM on January 20, 2006


alasdair: And you don't have to spend every Friday night on the piss till your best friend looks like Elle McPherson, throw up in the cab, then trip over the garden gnome before passing out on your front lawn.
Just talking about drinking too much and the resultant beer goggles. Pure Australian piss take.
posted by tellurian at 6:28 AM on January 20, 2006


"I am English … I feel quite angry when referred to as an English trollop."

"If you have someone at your barbie and you can't pronounce their name, just call them mate … I felt to be racist and offensive."

"I believe that the ad will bring unAustralian hatred towards people belonging to the Buddhist religion. As they are vegetarians it singles them out and I think this sort of religious vilification should not be shown on TV."

Heh, heh (many thanks uncanny h for filling in the gaps).
posted by fullysic at 5:55 PM on January 20, 2006


« Older Ideas In Food....  |  "Each day, tens of thousands o... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments