Comments on: Modern artists don't give a shit... or do they?

Modern artists don't give a shit... or do they?

five fresh fish — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:04:22 -0800

The Longest Poop.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:04:48 -0800

It took me forever to write this post. I swear, it's beyond mere words.

By: Eekacat

Eekacat — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:15:14 -0800

HOLY CRAP!

By: brownpau

brownpau — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:15:32 -0800

Crap post.

By: Dr. Wu

Dr. Wu — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:15:46 -0800

I love that the excretion of this epic poop took place on a bowling lane.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:16:30 -0800

But is it (f)art?

By: homunculus

homunculus — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:18:47 -0800

Watch out, he might turn into a werewolf.

By: Krrrlson

Krrrlson — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:19:18 -0800

I am amazed that this breakthrough did not come to us from Japan.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:19:25 -0800

Sheee-it!

By: soiled cowboy

soiled cowboy — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:21:04 -0800

poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop.

By: knave

knave — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:21:21 -0800

Arg! Where's the NSFW?

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:22:30 -0800

I think I read a David Sedaris story about this once.

By: weston

weston — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:22:49 -0800

I was really hoping I'd open this and find that I was no longer the only user of the "defecation" tag. Help a guy out, fff.

By: Jawn

Jawn — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:23:41 -0800

Boweling alley?

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:26:05 -0800

longest fake poop

By: TimeFactor

TimeFactor — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:31:41 -0800

She should start a blog.

By: lobstah

lobstah — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:33:19 -0800

longest fake poop I guess that makes it the longest bullshit !

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:37:46 -0800

It's about time the Jackass crew added a female to the roster.

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:39:30 -0800

This is exactly the sort of thing I always hoped to find on the Interweb.

By: rolypolyman

rolypolyman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:39:52 -0800

Alright, that's it, I've seen all there is to see on the web. I can't think of anything else I haven't seen. Night all! I'm turning out the lights on the way out.

By: konolia

konolia — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:42:08 -0800

This post stinks.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:42:42 -0800

"The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions.' Michelle Hines is full of shit.

By: shoepal

shoepal — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:42:51 -0800

But is it (f)art? It's damn near Fark!

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:44:46 -0800

I want to believe.

By: Rothko

Rothko — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:45:30 -0800

By: Mijo Bijo

Mijo Bijo — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:53:01 -0800

Shit that's impressive.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:54:46 -0800

I like poo.

By: cytherea

cytherea — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 19:58:50 -0800

This was so much better when I thought it was real. You've killed Mr. Hanky for me, jassamyn. I don't want to hear one word about the easter bunny.

By: tweak

tweak — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:02:59 -0800

This shit is re-farted.

By: Mijo Bijo

Mijo Bijo — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:08:17 -0800

Here's more info about poop in general.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:10:39 -0800

I doubt that after a fiber rich diet and administering a laxative, the feces would be that solid. Or, to be more succinct, I don't believe this shit.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:12:21 -0800

Fake, stupid, pretentious. That V.V. article highlights some other "ordeal art," much of which is as fake, as stupid, and as pretentious. From the article, referring to one of the artists' work: "The data collected may be as impractical and useless— therefore artlike..." The bar has been lowered so close the ground that when someone shits they call it art. I hope these miserable hacks have to take up jobs as terrible as their art to keep from starving. I wish them nothing but the worst.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:16:41 -0800

Rectum? Damn near killed 'em! ba dump bump.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:17:14 -0800

Ack, the first time I clicked on jessamyn's link it didn't work! Still, satisfying to know I can tell shit from shinola.

By: Rothko

Rothko — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:24:32 -0800

The Aristocrats!

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:26:16 -0800

Aristoscats, rather.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:29:40 -0800

Aristocraps.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:32:15 -0800

Being serious now. Shit is poisonous, so the idea of plugging up your poop for a week is a dangerous idea. My dad had 2 brothers who died in infancy where their bowels tied themselves into a knot, rendering them unable to shit. The shit trapped inside slowly poisoned them, leading to a slow death. This happened in the late 30s / early 40s out in the country, so I'm guessing medicine has come a long way since then (duh). (One died before dad was born, one when he was a kid. Dad can remember the poor tyke spending whole nights throwing up before he passed. Very sad.)

By: The Jesse Helms

The Jesse Helms — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:36:34 -0800

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:37:42 -0800

EXCREMEDITATION!

By: nola

nola — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:45:39 -0800

thank god i clicked on that right as i put a cool ranch dorito in my pie hole. ack!

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:48:28 -0800

The length was suprising, but the fact that it was a woman who did it is far more so. Just seems so fratboyish.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:49:46 -0800

Well, anyway she has a bright future in japanese porn.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:51:01 -0800

The bar has been lowered so close the ground that when someone shits they call it art. Yes, but that's the whole idea.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:52:24 -0800

For those of you who want to see some real monster shits, you could do a lot worse than visit this site. http://www.ratemypoo.com/ratemy/poo Check out this proud chap, posing next to his poo. And then there was the site dedicated to the little monkeys who liked to snap a loaf in a urinal and then take a photo of it. http://www.urinalpoop.org/ Sadly, I think the site is no more.

By: Rothko

Rothko — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:52:51 -0800

Well, anyway she has a bright future in japanese porn. Only if they bid higher than the Germans.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:54:40 -0800

Try again. Check out this proud chap, posing next to his poo.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:55:12 -0800

posted by BlackLeotardFront The bar has been lowered so close the ground that when someone shits they call it art. This is nothing new. Bill Gates has made millions selling his shit.

By: erskelyne

erskelyne — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:56:34 -0800

I wasn't moved.

By: hypersloth

hypersloth — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:57:06 -0800

Hmm, that's odd - I swear I remember actually chewing my corn...

By: milnak

milnak — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:58:36 -0800

I'd give anything for an animated GIF of this. Well, almost anything...

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 20:59:52 -0800

Sending in a photo of your 6 year old son's poo to be rated. Is that legal???!

By: teece

teece — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 21:09:47 -0800

If we can't agree that some stupid anti-ordeal-ordeal about the longest shit isn't well, shit rather than art, then I say aw fuck it. What an idiot. This would be really stupid, if it were true. That it was meant as some kind of "statement" makes it much, much more than really stupid, and makes me want to smack the "artist." (And those aren't scare quotes -- they're mock quotes).

By: cytherea

cytherea — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 21:28:54 -0800

teece, you should give the artist some slack. It's conceptual. It doesn't matter if it really happened--it's the emotional truth that's important. And it seemed very sincere. Even if it wasn't all real, it was probably agony to go through--No one should have to get reamed out on Oprah like that.

By: stevis

stevis — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 21:50:51 -0800

This was really not necessary, or wanted.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:15:39 -0800

http://www.ratemypoo.com/ratemy/poo Well, now I've seen everything I ever want to on the web. Internets, it's been grand, drop me a line sometime.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:18:58 -0800

The weeklong endurance prior to the event was ensured by the employment of a plug specifically designed to curtail any premature excretions. That can't have been comfortable.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:23:33 -0800

rolypolyman writes "Alright, that's it, I've seen all there is to see on the web" The end of the internet.

By: blacklite

blacklite — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:23:51 -0800

I think I'm sad that it was fake.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:25:07 -0800

I'm trying to come up with a caption for this one.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:36:49 -0800

I'm trying to come up with a caption for this one. "Duuuuude!"

By: drstein

drstein — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:44:02 -0800

Yet another reason why people think artists are usually fucking idiots. What a perfect example.

By: Jawn

Jawn — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:46:39 -0800

You know what creeps me out? The rate my poo pics without any toilet paper in them.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:51:49 -0800

Oh, god, Jawn... You just ruined my evening. Are you happy? Are you happy?

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:52:07 -0800

posted by milnak I'd give anything for an animated GIF of this. Well, almost anything... Enjoy!

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 22:58:32 -0800

Is anyone else imagining her saying "Vrrrrooooom!" in fandango_matt's gif? *crickets* Just me? Okay. Nevermind.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Sun, 29 Jan 2006 23:02:53 -0800

This goes out to every cranky philistine who ever visited a modern art exhibition and said loudly "what's next? Take a massive dump on the floor and call it art?"

By: dieselid

dieselid — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 00:16:31 -0800

By: hwestiii

hwestiii — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 01:57:49 -0800

Wasn't this sort of suspect on the face of it? No one's colon is 26 feet long. Your small intestine maybe, but your colon isn't nearly that long.

By: Bucket o' Heads

Bucket o' Heads — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 02:19:09 -0800

Some come close, though.

By: asok

asok — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 03:25:58 -0800

Well done everybody! Hines for her art, and the thread participants for theirs. This week I am mostly not being too dismissive of modern art. Gilbert and George made me think when they said that poo is the first thing that we create. They do like to wallow in it a bit, though: 'The artists first used excrement as a theme in their 1983 work entitled Shitted, in which the artists superimposed photographs of themselves facing each other in front of a wall of vastly magnified, orange-brown turds. Gilbert & George are shown wearing blue and green with the same brown substance in their mouths. In this work, they seem to refer to themselves as the creators of the "shit" that critics claimed they brought into the art world.' They simply reflect what they see: '"This will be hanging in the room where we are to eat," George proudly declares. Spit on Shit is one of the Fundamental Pictures of 1996 and depicts exactly what it says - a gob of spit sliding down two monumental turds. "Very few art works are called Spit on Shit. It's about being alive in the western world," George says. "What else?" God love them!

By: funambulist

funambulist — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 05:10:59 -0800

The original, inimitable, unsurpassed Merde d'artiste.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 05:38:18 -0800

From jessamyn's Voice link: "I guess for me it didn't seem necessary to actually have done the thing. Today you don't really have to do anything." They can carve that on humanity's grave when we finally bore ourselves to death.

By: Gator

Gator — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 06:51:36 -0800

Whoever is commissioned to do the carving will most likely carve "Whatever" instead.

By: Stynxno

Stynxno — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 06:58:13 -0800

poop lol

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 07:24:03 -0800

It won't be carved. A young female artist will squat atop humanity's grave and squeeze out the word, hopping in tight circles to spell it.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 07:26:42 -0800

What is odd to me is that pieces like this—those that aim at triggering an emotional reaction that's implicitly the primary context for the work—are not seen as the banal and idiotic cliches that they really are. Other works of art that crudely trigger banal emotions such as love or nostalgia are properly ridiculed by those who nevertheless see the context of, for example, disgust to be more than sophomoric and cliched. Why?

By: rosemere

rosemere — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 08:31:08 -0800

fandango_matt, somewhere Terry Gilliam is giggling himself shitless over your GIF.

By: codeofconduct

codeofconduct — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 13:08:00 -0800

Bandwidth exceeded (on lead link). Gee...what a surprise. Asinine shitheads.

By: SisterHavana

SisterHavana — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 19:58:11 -0800

Who are they crappin'? : )

By: WaterSprite

WaterSprite — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 20:10:56 -0800

Drat. Bandwith exceeded by the time I got to it. "Metafilter: Let us help you exceed your bandwith!"

By: rosemere

rosemere — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:23:55 -0800

Don't worry. fandango_matt's gif still makes the thread worthwhile. (I'm not hearing "Vrrrrooooom!" while watching it, though. Unfortunately, it's the Benny Hill theme for me.)

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:25:30 -0800

Those aren't mutually exclusive, rosemere.

By: Aknaton

Aknaton — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 22:09:41 -0800

Memepool has a link to some genuine record-breakers. Link leads to DVDs for sale... the great taste of Pepsi Brown.