Comments on: Strategery

Strategery

ChasFile — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:38:26 -0800

State of the Union Drinking Game Its that time of year again, and it seems to get bigger (and more partisan) each time. Now Kos has one, as does Arianna Huffington. Here's another, and another.(prev ious)

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:42:42 -0800

MeFi Betting Pool -- how long into his speech before Bush says "September 11th" or "9/11?"

By: 327.ca

327.ca — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:49:29 -0800

MeFi Betting Pool -- how long into his speech before Bush says "September 11th" or "9/11?" Woooh! Count me in. I'm betting 32 seconds.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:50:05 -0800

And how much ya' wanna bet he doesn't utter the words 'Jack Abramoff', 'domestic spying', 'oil company profits', 'Plamegate', 'Tom Delay' and 'Frist's stock sales?'

By: SirOmega

SirOmega — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:51:01 -0800

Or September 9/11.

By: hwestiii

hwestiii — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:55:23 -0800

The whole over-use of 9/11 is sad, scandalous, and a bit scary. I'd like to think that America was above the kind of demagoguery that relies on that kind of emotional appeal to muster patriotic feeling. Bush/Rove use it like a cattle prod. The minute things don't go their way, they invoke 9/11 and everyone either goes temporarily insane, or shut's up just a little. Its like keeping the wound raw helps them in the short term, but in the long term it can only be destructive for the country as a whole.

By: Dormant Gorilla

Dormant Gorilla — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 12:57:52 -0800

I'd like to think that America was above the kind of demagoguery that relies on that kind of emotional appeal to muster patriotic feeling. I have a bridge you might be interested in purchasing...

By: wakko

wakko — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:01:39 -0800

Tonight's speech will be all about the next country we're gonna invade: IRAN

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:05:35 -0800

Tonight's speech will be all about the next country we're gonna invade: IRAN Highly likely -- of the "Axis of Evil" -- one down, two to go!

By: matteo

matteo — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:07:39 -0800

the next country we're gonna invade where "we = conscripts", I guess.

By: Uccellina

Uccellina — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:08:07 -0800

Imagining Arianna Huffington actually saying, "those guys are gonna tear the roof off the mothersucka!" makes me giggle.

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:18:56 -0800

I'd like to play drinking games with Arianna Huffington...

By: crazymonk

crazymonk — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:19:30 -0800

Here's an idea for a SOTU drinking game: 1) Buy alcohol. 2) Turn off TV. 3) Drink alcohol. I guarantee you that'll it be more fun than listening to Bush's vapid cliches and redundant and/or poorly planned programs. I've got two words for you: CNN Transcript.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:23:26 -0800

Can't afford much to drink? A sip of beer for every word he pronounces correctly.

By: C.Batt

C.Batt — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:26:17 -0800

I say, 2 shots everytime he mentions "Iran" within 10 seconds of "war on terror". Should be pretty drunk by night's end. As an aside, is threatening to convert from the petro-dollar to the petro-euro considered terrorism?

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:27:12 -0800

Very funny (to me anyway) of my scanning lately on the net, including this thread: whenever I see SOTU, I think for a second I'm seeing STFU.

By: Saydur

Saydur — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:27:54 -0800

As an aside, is threatening to convert from the petro-dollar to the petro-euro considered terrorism? Are you kidding? That's worse than harboring bin Laden!

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:30:56 -0800

MeFi Betting Pool -- how long into his speech before Bush says "September 11th" or "9/11?" I'm betting on the flash card President to say "September 9/11." A Bush speech is just one misspoken cliché after another. Since I like drinking - a lot - my cue to imbibe will be the chicken bob thing Bush does with his head when he's trying to make a point he doesn't understand. I expect there will be lots of those.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:32:39 -0800

I bet it will be depressing..unlike standup comedians, the guy isn't acting.

By: fenriq

fenriq — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:34:17 -0800

I like crazymonk's drinking game best. Its alot less likely to end up with me putting my foot through my TV.

By: the_bone

the_bone — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:40:45 -0800

Bush will probably play his own "SOTU drinking game" before going on tonight.

By: mr.curmudgeon

mr.curmudgeon — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:41:50 -0800

hwestiii, Very well said and very sadly, true.

By: wakko

wakko — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:42:08 -0800

You don't drink cocaine!

By: wah

wah — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:45:39 -0800

How many drinks does a nice long pull on a spliff count for?

By: Captaintripps

Captaintripps — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:45:49 -0800

I promise to update mine for this year as soon as I get home tonight. Unfortunately it will not be held at a bar this year as, well, don't work there no mo.

By: wakko

wakko — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:46:49 -0800

depends how long. folks tell me one hit counts as one drink. so, puff puff pass = 1 drink.

By: Kickstart70

Kickstart70 — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:50:08 -0800

If he mentions Osama bin Laden, I suggest giving up drinking entirely. How many fronts does a war have to have before it's considered a WW?

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:52:11 -0800

It's hard work drinking during the SOTU.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:53:00 -0800

You don't kick TVs, you shoot them. Smashing them with a sledge or bat is also approved, but recommend for advanced haters.

By: TheStorm

TheStorm — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:53:32 -0800

Um...point of order here, gentlemen (and ladies, excuse me). You're not really going to watch/listen to this, are you? I mean what's the point, or am i missing something? 1. you know what he's gonna say. you could practically say it FOR him, only with less grammatical errors. 2. what's the point? this administration does whatever it wants without approval anyway. 3. Even if he coughs up some vague nugget of wisdom (doubtful, at best), we already know that you can't trust it anyway. Me, I'm going to find something more pleasureable to do. Of course, I would consider a root canal more pleasurable than listening to him do his thing tonight, but......

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:55:12 -0800

Andy Dick: Presidential Speechalist also: Bushwacked 2

By: MysticMCJ

MysticMCJ — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 13:57:35 -0800

I'd think "We're making progress" should be up there with "hard work." If one drank solely to those two phrases in any of the past addresses, they'd be in a coma.

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:02:18 -0800

Things I would rather do than sit through a televised State of the Union: 1. Choke to death on cat shit 2. Trim all of my body hair with a chainsaw 3. Engage in a threesome with Joan Rivers and John Madden 4. Slide down a 50-foot razorblade into a kiddie pool filled with sulferic acid 5. Be attacked by two hundred rabid dachsunds 6. Do a rat milk/tequila shooter 7. Watch a 3-hour pornographic epic starring Randy Quaid and Whoopi Goldberg

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:02:36 -0800

Gore Vidal's State of the Union

"This is an unpatriotic government. This is a government that deals openly in illegalities, whether it is attacking a country which has done us no harm, two countries -- Iraq and Afghanistan -- because we now believe, not in declaring war through Congress as the Constitution requires, but through the President. 'Well, I think there are some terrorists over there, and I think we got to bomb them, huh? We'll bomb them.' Now, we've had idiots as presidents before. He's not unique. But he's certainly the most active idiot that we have ever had."

By: TheStorm

TheStorm — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:05:08 -0800

Cobra wins!

By: Kickstart70

Kickstart70 — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:06:40 -0800

COBRA!: Stop it, you're getting me hot and bothered. "Randy Whoopi" says it all.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:10:55 -0800

Cnn breaking balls news President Bush will call for new technology to break U.S. addiction to oil, according to excerpts of his State of the Union speech released by the White House. In a bid to attract some unpaid media attention I guess ?

By: jlub

jlub — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:22:37 -0800

1. you know what he's gonna say. you could practically say it FOR him, only with less grammatical errors. fewer grammatical errors. Thanks, I'll be here all week! Oh, and yeah, you couldn't pay me enough to watch this.

By: youcancallmeal

youcancallmeal — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 14:36:25 -0800

Here's the actual quote referred to by elpapacito. "America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world... The best way to break this addiction is through technology." This is my favorite quote so far for it's sheer "uh. yeah."-ness. "The American economy is pre-eminent – but we cannot afford to be complacent. In a dynamic world economy, we are seeing new competitors like China and India." Got to love being on the White House mailing list...

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:00:34 -0800

people forget that the idea of drinking games is to make the result more sever the LESS LIKELY the event is to happen. See, you want to get drunk, but the game shouldn't make it TOO easy on you. 1. any reference to the events of september 11, 2001 - take a sip of beer or wine(do not use shots, it'll happen too often.) 2. any mention of the name Saddam or Saddam Hussein - drink large drink of beer or wine or one shot, if you're hardcore. 3. any mention of Osama Bin Laden - empty glass, be it shot or beer or wine. 4. any mention of elections in other countries - normal drink of beer or wine 5. any mention of valerie plame/Jack Abramoff/domestic spying/halliburton/increase in terrorism worldwide since the invasion of iraq/weapons of mass destruction/Bill Frist - drink an entire handle of booze or a 30 pack of beer as quickly as humanly possible, then drink an entire bottle of wine followed by belly button shots off every person in the room.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:00:55 -0800

In others news, George is borrowing lines and concept from Matteo Metafilter : The Congress AND the Prez are upon us

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:02:03 -0800

oh, and 6. proper pronunciation of the word "nuclear" - hijack a jack daniel's bottler and consume the contents.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:04:01 -0800

Howabout every time he de-aspirates his voiceless alveolar fricatives? That susurrous on his 's' sounds drives me nuts. Y'know what I'm talking about? The air he puts into his sentences man. Drives me crazy. It's not a lisp exactly. Just too much air. Makes me think he's part snake or something.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:07:42 -0800

by "bottler" I meant "bottling plant."

By: lord_wolf

lord_wolf — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:19:13 -0800

Makes me think he's part snake or something. what up, david icke -- i mean smedleyman. ;-)

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:19:14 -0800

From CNN: President Bush's State of the Union speech will focus on the kitchen table concerns of ordinary Americans. With gas prices rising again, he will declare America is "addicted to oil," and will call for new technology to break that addiction, according to excerpts released by the White House. What am I drunk on oil? He's starting to look like Jimmy Carter! Gosh, I hope he wears a sweater.

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:19:42 -0800

Smedleyman : INDEED !

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:20:23 -0800

"America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world... The best way to break this addiction is through a 12-step program. I should know. Here is our plan: 1. We admit you are powerless over oil - that your lives have become unmanageable without ANWR. 2. Come to believe that a Power greater than yourselves can restore you to sanity. A power named Jeb. 3. Make a decision to turn your will and your lives over to the care of God as I understand Him. You probably don't understand Him, though, 'cause He has a really thick Texas accent. Better let me interpret for you. 4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. When we can find the time. This one is actually kinda gay. Never mind. 5. Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of your wrongs. 6. We're entirely ready to have God remove all these defective characters. Pat Robertson has some good ideas here. 7. Humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings (in bed). Hehehehe! See what I did, there? Hehehehe! 8. Make a list of all persons we have harmed and become willing to make amens to them all. 9. Made direct amens to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Amen, ya'll. 10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly admit it. If it ever happens, we'll get right on that. 11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve your contact with God, as I understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for you and the power for me to enforce it. 12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to Arcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs. Wait - affairs are okay, now? Hehehehe - somebody get Harriet Miers on the phone!"

By: mcsweetie

mcsweetie — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:26:54 -0800

are we still going to mars?

By: rob511

rob511 — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:29:05 -0800

COBRA!, I think you've given us the MeFi SOTU Game, our very own alternative to those lame drinking games ... SOTU-Libs - Mix-n-match entries from this list while half-watching Bush mangle the Queen's English: choose any verb / choose any noun / choose any adverbial or prepositional phrase(s) - Slide down Joan Rivers while milking a rat - Trim your body hair with sulphuric acid - Engage in a threesome with a shitting cat and Randy Goldberg

By: hwestiii

hwestiii — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 15:41:41 -0800

That these guys can possibly mount a serious and productive response to America's dependence on oil is a notion that actually refuses to register in my brain. Most likely it will amount to nothing more than bargain basement leasing of federal lands for oil exploration, tax breaks for questionable research initiatives, and anothe run on the treasury. Why is it that we are always rewarding the "risks" of the Haliburtons, et. al., but no mind is paid to the risk to the taxpayer from this looting of the public till?

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 16:15:19 -0800

If he mentions metafilter you have to drop 10 hits of acid.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 16:30:41 -0800

are we still going to mars? Yeah -- what about Mars? And, um, Poland?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 16:44:13 -0800

I plan to be drunk tonight, and I'm not even going to watch the speech. Mmm. Glenfiddich.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 16:53:31 -0800

I'd love to play this game but I don't want to end up passed out in a pool of my own sick by 9:30.

By: oncogenesis

oncogenesis — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 16:57:43 -0800

are we still going to mars? Yes, in hydrogen powered flying cars.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:03:40 -0800

State of Illusion -- "Many Americans have this sense of profound malaise. Of course, that's the ailment that dare not speak its name (and not just because it's French)."

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:04:14 -0800

Yes, in hydrogen powered flying cars -- and with personal jetpacks!

By: hupp

hupp — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:21:42 -0800

Does anyone have suggestions for where to watch this thing? C-SPAN is really slow.

By: hupp

hupp — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:27:03 -0800

Never mind, the RealPlayer version works.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:33:14 -0800

If he mentions metafilter you have to drop 10 hits of acid. posted by Smedleyman at 4:15 PM PST on January 31 [!] If he mentions Metafilter, I'll eat my whole mushroom stash.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:05:30 -0800

Cindy Sheehan had a ticket to sit in the gallery but she just got arrested. Or at least escorted out.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:08:47 -0800

Oh man.. I am so high right now...

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:08:59 -0800

Commenter on AmericaBlog: Update: Arrested in the House chamber for unfolding an anti-war banner. She will be held for an hour and denied re-rentry to the ceremony, though she in an invited guest of Congresswoman Lynn Woolsey (D-CA).

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:13:49 -0800

I know it's wrong... But so little explosives could cure so many of America's problems right now.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:15:11 -0800

^^^ By that, I mean bomb Iran, of course...^ ^ ^

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:16:09 -0800

Aaaaaaaahhhh!!!! He just brought up 9/11!! How many minutes has it been? 2? 3?

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:18:15 -0800

freedom ... freedom ... wmd ... freedom ... mass murder

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:18:20 -0800

FEAR

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:20:16 -0800

EVIL

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:20:23 -0800

I swear Bush has a string in his neck with a plastic loop on the end that Cheney just stands behind him and pulls over and over again.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:20:23 -0800

America =/= evil.

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:20:34 -0800

Hot use of the blink tag, interrobang.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:21:20 -0800

His opening focused -- while not openly stated as such -- on his wanting to be a "uniter" and not a "divider" (recall his original election pledge?). George - ya' gotta do better.

"For the first time since Bush took office in 2001, a majority of those polled said the president -- who campaigned as "a uniter, not a divider" -- has been a divisive leader. Fifty-four percent called Bush a divider, while 41 percent called him a uniter." [source]

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:22:09 -0800

cindy sheehan was in possession of a banner of mass destruction.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:22:18 -0800

Fear -- fear --- fear -- WWII/Godwin --- Iraq ... terrorist targets ...

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:22:53 -0800

Confidence is the key!

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:23:34 -0800

"take our troops home." hmmmm......"take??"

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:24:08 -0800

Confidence is the key! I suspect that "confident" and "confidence" will have the highest word-count in this speech. I am confident ... I am confident ... I am confident ...

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:25:05 -0800

"take our troops home." Someone needs clarification between "bring" and "take."

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:25:25 -0800

Are there really people out there who can take this shit uncritically?

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:25:53 -0800

"We must keep our word" = "Stay the Course."

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:27:24 -0800

Wait until he introduces the "bomb-sniffing" dog!!!

By: Oddly

Oddly — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:27:33 -0800

*blink* *blink*

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:27:48 -0800

Where's Diosparamus?

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:28:54 -0800

Ya' know what they say about performing with animals and children.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:30:30 -0800

"America supports democratic reform in the Middle East." -- So, what again about Hamas? What about the majority outcome in Iraq?

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:31:11 -0800

Heh!! I'm fine to wait and fight them here, if it's my choice.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:31:22 -0800

"Go home and die."

By: octothorpe

octothorpe — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:31:48 -0800

Is he going to say anything about domestic issues?

By: raysmj

raysmj — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:32:04 -0800

Oh mercy, is this shit ever boring.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:32:43 -0800

Is he going to say anything about domestic issues? We have domestic issues?

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:32:49 -0800

No shit, octothorpe! I was wondering the same thing.

By: octothorpe

octothorpe — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:33:37 -0800

OK, he's talking about Terrorism at home now. I guess that's domestic.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:33:46 -0800

Is he going to say anything about domestic issues? He won't talk about "domestic spying," but will use his current spin as "terrorist surveillance." He will talk about domestic issues -- particularly 'health care,' 'alternatives to our 'addicition to oil' -- and other empty promises.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:33:58 -0800

Oh, right. Spying.

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:34:16 -0800

All this man wants to do is fight, fight, fight. What do you call someone who is constantly wanting to fight with others? A bully? Or is there a more clinical word?

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:35:33 -0800

WE WILL NOT SIT BACK AND WAIT TO BE HIT AGAIN

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:36:12 -0800

perot It's simple, see! I've got to spy on 'Mericans Or the Terr'rists will hit agin'! /Perot

By: LouieLoco

LouieLoco — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:36:15 -0800

wow, hilarly clinton just looked really hot to me.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:36:52 -0800

ME-DOM IS ON THE FARTS

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:37:14 -0800

terrorism is winning so far freedom //////////// terror/ism ///////////////

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:37:22 -0800

Or is there a more clinical word? Cowboy?

By: LouieLoco

LouieLoco — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:37:29 -0800

and she lost it.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:39:11 -0800

centralizing more power in Washington????? yikes.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:39:14 -0800

"Feed Peoples' Fears!"

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:39:32 -0800

*cough*

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:39:47 -0800

Is he a big hit with imiagrants? Try or New Job (tm.) program!

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:39:58 -0800

Oh - yeah -- oither domestic issue --- "(un)documented workers."

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:40:01 -0800

At certain moments, Bush strangely resembles Mr. C. Montgomery Burns.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:40:17 -0800

we must need a permanent tax cut about now.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:41:54 -0800

Save 14 Billion? I assume the budget will be less than last year?

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:42:29 -0800

If people would stop giving him standing ovations after every two sentences perhaps we could wrap this shit up before midnight.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:43:28 -0800

George -- what about the deficit? "The US Federal Budget, in surplus only a few years ago, has dropped dramatically back into deficit. Recent budget deficits have broken all previous records."

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:43:32 -0800

"So, that woman at the end of 'Titanic'... she was just a liar, right?"

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:43:38 -0800

See, we're just STARTING to EASE you IN to the benefit cuts!

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:44:04 -0800

"yet the rising cost of entitlements is not as a problem as that is not going away." word.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:44:53 -0800

State of the Union (quicktime)

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:45:23 -0800

Unlit gravel roads to all! Water and electricity? Only if you are lucky!

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:45:29 -0800

Wait ... wait ... I believe there will be a nod to the "bomb-sniffing" dog -- and its handler from Iraq.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:47:01 -0800

Bombing-Sniffing Dog Gets Good Seat.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:47:01 -0800

Oh, Comon!! They would never let an Iraqi with a live weapon anywhere near the president.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:47:20 -0800

well, he IS making wider use of electronic records, gotta give him that one.

By: LouieLoco

LouieLoco — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:47:21 -0800

did he say electronic records. Cuz I got a whole crate of detroit techno in my garage.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:47:56 -0800

I think the reason that people clap after every sentence is so that you don't hear anyone loudly guffaw after a particularly ridiculous statement.

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:48:01 -0800

Enough with the clapping and ovations! Jeebus!

By: quonsar

quonsar — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:48:04 -0800

Bush strangely resembles Mr. C. Montgomery Burns.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:48:07 -0800

wup, here comes the oil addiction.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:48:38 -0800

Medical Liability = Evil.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:49:27 -0800

Hydrogen and switchgrass, I heard it!

By: LouieLoco

LouieLoco — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:49:32 -0800

there goes the rain forest.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:49:36 -0800

...and we're going to mars too

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:49:36 -0800

DELICIOUS, DELICIOUS ETHANOL

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:50:32 -0800

I'm just going to chug this entire bottle of scotch now and get it over with.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:50:54 -0800

"and make our dependence on middle eastern oil a thing of the past." but it's not important enough to divert military funds to.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:51:06 -0800

Meredith, you might as well start mainlining it

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:51:54 -0800

nanno-Supercomputing-Energy sources!

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:52:00 -0800

"America is addicted to oil" "Companies Report Record Profits"

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:52:34 -0800

we made good strides with the "no child left behind" act... WHA WHA WHAT?!

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:53:52 -0800

Yes, I went to the kitchen and walked back in on "nano-supercomputing-energy sources." WTF? Oh, Amurika. *mainlines*

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:53:56 -0800

Okay --- raise your hand if you're drunk yet?

By: LouieLoco

LouieLoco — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:54:40 -0800

Stop saying America. It's the United States or the US.

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:54:42 -0800

Oh man.. I am so high right now... Or, high ... or rollling.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:55:22 -0800

Can't afford much to drink? A sip of beer for every word he pronounces correctly. posted by Peter H at 3:23 PM CST on January 31 Shit was I right or what. 55 minutes in and not a single sip yet!

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:55:28 -0800

"abstinece" and "adoption." Right.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:56:33 -0800

Another thing, why is it whenever he says something that actually causes the democrats to applaud, he gets this smirk on his face that he tries so desperately to hide, but can't quite keep himself from hinting at this "I just peed my pants a little" manic grin?

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:57:44 -0800

Human-animal hybrids????

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:57:51 -0800

creating human animal hybrids?! WTF?! someone please post an fpp documenting what he's talking about.

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:58:05 -0800

jinx

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:58:33 -0800

"Warshingtun...."

By: mr.marx

mr.marx — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:58:47 -0800

Human-animal hybrids???? talking chimps?

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:58:50 -0800

LOL

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:59:37 -0800

Laura looks about as bombed out on dolls as I think her conscience would allow her to be five years into this shit.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 18:59:47 -0800

Human-animal hybrids?? Has HE been playing the drinking game along with us?

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:00:06 -0800

She still looks like The Joker.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:00:27 -0800

is this by any chance opposite day?

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:00:59 -0800

Protected from Justice?

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:01:05 -0800

Ryan White!

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:01:27 -0800

We are officially back in Reagan's time. Where's Elton John?

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:01:45 -0800

"when there are no new infections in America." BUT FUCK AFRICA!

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:03:23 -0800

Well, there we are, then.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:03:26 -0800

That's gin in his glass.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:03:27 -0800

Lame.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:04:06 -0800

Gahd blhass Amurcca (sip) (HOORAY!)

By: ericb

ericb — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:04:12 -0800

All over the fucking board. What did he say?

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:05:20 -0800

In summary: We must spy on AIDS

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:08:25 -0800

Or, we must spy on human-animal hybrids with AIDS.

By: homunculus

homunculus — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:10:25 -0800

I've been puking tequilla for the last hour. Did I miss anything?

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:10:25 -0800

Just International correspondence, though. (wink) (belch)

By: octothorpe

octothorpe — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:11:01 -0800

Boy, that was pretty sad. Did he say anything interesting? It seemed pretty much like a greatest hits of Bush rhetoric.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:11:08 -0800

ha, oop, that was in response to doublehelix - but it's also sort of a response to homunculus too though, strangely.

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:13:20 -0800

ABC just commentated that 48 out of the 65 paragraphs were something that could have been just as easily said by Bill Clinton, or as mikepop put it in the mefi jabber room, "48 paragraphs equally meaningless no matter who reads them." So no, homunculus, you didn't miss anything.

By: craven_morhead

craven_morhead — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:14:05 -0800

One benifit of the human/animal hybrids.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:14:08 -0800

So, I can relax, now? Everyone's sufficently viligent?

By: homunculus

homunculus — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:14:17 -0800

Cindy Sheehan had a ticket to sit in the gallery but she just got arrested. Or at least escorted out. What? Seriously?

By: Danf

Danf — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:14:39 -0800

But Bill Clinton did not set out to ruin the country. . .

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:16:40 -0800

homunculus - a concise summary

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:16:55 -0800

OH MY GOD, HIS EYEBROW IS PERPETUALLY RAISED!

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:17:08 -0800

the democrat responder, I mean.

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:18:03 -0800

Yes and .... He's ..... very .... paced .....

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:18:09 -0800

I hear bush has made body doubles to make public speeches... Just in case of assisination attempts.

By: homunculus

homunculus — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:19:49 -0800

ERROR That summarizes things nicely!

By: Meredith

Meredith — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:20:29 -0800

shmegegge: yes, and it's making it incredibly difficult to focus on a single thing he's saying. I'm just sitting here wanting to reach through the screen and yank his eyebrow back down where it belongs.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:20:40 -0800

Speaking of which, How many Hussein body doubles did we catch before Hussein was actually caught? At one time, I heard there were up to 16 verified by the CIA body doubles for Saddam.

By: doublehelix

doublehelix — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:21:13 -0800

Balisong, you wouldn't be talking about cloning, would you?????

By: mr.marx

mr.marx — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:21:22 -0800

I for one welcome our new eyebrow overlords

By: carmina

carmina — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:25:06 -0800

Nothing on climate change... Oh, it is over now. Well, maybe next year... Or, am I naive? Lets see, maybe in the democratic response....?

By: mowglisambo

mowglisambo — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:25:38 -0800

super-sillious /Latin pun

By: Peter H

Peter H — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:27:34 -0800

OOH FRIST VERSUS OBAMA ON NBC!

By: Balisong

Balisong — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:32:15 -0800

So, that's it then! We're putting our foot down on using animal-hybrids for AIDS research! 'Bought time!

By: raysmj

raysmj — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:32:18 -0800

I think the SOTU is going to end up on CMT in a few years, a la Miss America.

By: youarenothere

youarenothere — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:43:40 -0800

Cindy Sheehan was apparently just wearing an anti-war shirt, not rolling out a banner. She was arrested. Which is AWESOME.

By: youarenothere

youarenothere — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:49:33 -0800

I wanted to write off the human-animal hybrid thing as complete insanity, but I think this might be what he was talking about. I totally missed that in the news.

By: youarenothere

youarenothere — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 19:54:03 -0800

Also, discussed here and here. Hm.

By: rob511

rob511 — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 20:35:01 -0800

*pant, pant* Hey, guys, I just finished a three-way with Whoopi Rivers and a rabid dachshund. Anything happen?

By: ericb

ericb — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 15:24:52 -0800

Human/Animal Hybrid T-Shirts

By: Balisong

Balisong — Thu, 02 Feb 2006 18:10:23 -0800

That damn White House... Being a step ahead of us on our outrages of the week!! **Shakes Fist**