She shed a tear for the pain we all feel..It changed me

February 1, 2006 12:37 PM

Holy Mother Of God appears to ebayer and commands herto put her up for sale on eBay for $900 -- Buy it Now -- no reserve price. Ed, a bidder whose 24-year-old daughter suffers from chronic endometriosis hopes to acquire the statue for her. Let's hope he gets there before Golden Palace Casino (sorry, no links for that one) snipes it.
posted by VMC (45 comments total)

On eBay, a sucker for religious artifactory is born every minute. But jeez, only $31 for a statue that cried a real tear?

It might be fun to see how much I could get for a peanut that looks like the manger Jesus was born into?
posted by fenriq at 12:40 PM on February 1, 2006

Each additional person who buys a phony religious artifact on eBay is one additional person who doesn't buy a phony religious artifact on eBay from me. I need to get into this racket now.
posted by Faint of Butt at 12:45 PM on February 1, 2006

My Cheech Marin picture did the same thing, except he puffed a cloud of smoke out.
posted by AMWKE at 12:45 PM on February 1, 2006

ok i sold a $31 Virgin Mary on ebay, everything was going smooth, i sent out the item using UPS. i received an email from the seller telling me all he got in the box was a 'jug of tomato juice'!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:46 PM on February 1, 2006

That's transubstantiation for you!
posted by sourwookie at 12:49 PM on February 1, 2006

It's Raining....., Ba-dom-bump.
posted by fenriq at 12:50 PM on February 1, 2006

I started to write something, and then I realized that there was absolutely nothing I could say that could touch the drama of this woman and her rosery, what with the VM folling her around.

I just hope she find her frog.
posted by beelzbubba at 12:53 PM on February 1, 2006

Florence, don't you mean a 'jug of water'? A good read, all around.
posted by Roger Dodger at 12:54 PM on February 1, 2006

Damn folks, Virgin Mary = tomato juice. We need more alcoholics in the house.
posted by fenriq at 1:02 PM on February 1, 2006

Last night Jesus came to me in a dream and told me anyone who pays for religion is a sucker.
posted by thivaia at 1:03 PM on February 1, 2006

Your story moved me and so I am mailing you $20.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:05 PM on February 1, 2006

Ohhh, now I get it. And I even used to be a bartender. Stupid me.
posted by Roger Dodger at 1:05 PM on February 1, 2006

..it felt like eyes were folling me.
Why do I have difficulty swolling this story?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 1:13 PM on February 1, 2006

I know a nice old lady in Baltimore who'll sell you a talking Virgin Mary doll, and it comes with a free pit beef sandwich.
posted by Spatch at 1:24 PM on February 1, 2006

This’d be one of those moments when folks should be clued in on science.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:26 PM on February 1, 2006

JesusMary wept.
posted by brain_drain at 1:27 PM on February 1, 2006

I can't wait to post up a shit stained piece of underwear and swear it looks like Jesus.

BRB - gotta squeeze one out and make a mint!!!
posted by evilelvis at 1:29 PM on February 1, 2006

PLEASE DON'T THINK I'M CRAZY..LOL
posted by spicynuts at 1:31 PM on February 1, 2006

It simply amazes me that people can not only put up goods for sale on E-bay, but items with ridiculously dubious tales attached; all the while failing entirely to form a complete fucking sentence. Jesus wept, indeed.

My main items I sell on Ebay is Clothing and some watches and thing of that matter...I am Catholic and recieved this Virgin Mary Statue around 10 years ago when I got married...Please don't think I'm Crazy..LOL
posted by prostyle at 1:32 PM on February 1, 2006

Maybe someone from chocolateville should bid?
posted by lsusd2003 at 1:32 PM on February 1, 2006

Don't miss the seller's other auctions
posted by phirleh at 1:34 PM on February 1, 2006

RARE DALE EARNHARDT BASS PRO GOLD COLLECTOR KNIFE

*weeps single tear*
posted by 2sheets at 1:52 PM on February 1, 2006

Maybe I should try to sell my Chia Jesus that cries real plant food. He told me it's time for us to part ways.
posted by JeffK at 2:02 PM on February 1, 2006

Judging by her impeccable spelling and grammar, I can tell this auction and her story is 100% legit.
posted by wakko at 2:13 PM on February 1, 2006

Please don't think I'm Crazy..LOL

Now THERE's the hallmark of a serious eBay seller!
posted by clevershark at 2:17 PM on February 1, 2006

You can sell anything on ebay.
posted by tellurian at 2:24 PM on February 1, 2006

How about a picture of Muhammed?
posted by JJ86 at 2:30 PM on February 1, 2006

SPEEDY PAYMENT!!! VERY DEVOUT!!! WOULD SCAM AGAIN!!! A++++
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:52 PM on February 1, 2006

This is shameful, as it detracts from all the real crying Mary statues.
posted by iamck at 2:58 PM on February 1, 2006

The real miracle would be if she had perfect spelling and good grammar.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:10 PM on February 1, 2006

Let's hope he gets there before Golden Palace Casino (sorry, no links for that one) snipes it.

Why?
posted by delmoi at 3:47 PM on February 1, 2006

If only it was actually listed with a Buy-It-Now of $900...

/puts away credit card
posted by jeffmik at 4:29 PM on February 1, 2006

"Let's hope he gets there before Golden Palace Casino (sorry, no links for that one) snipes it.

Why?"

His daughter is sick, he thinks it might make her better. If someone is prone to strong beliefs along those lines then it may prove a beneficial gift for her, certainly more so than having it sitting on a shelf at some casino.
Power of suggestion, perhaps? Anyway, I feel for anyone whose kid is sick. I hope he wins it cheap.
posted by VMC at 4:48 PM on February 1, 2006

The seller's name "crackerbunch" surely inspires trust.
posted by Cranberry at 4:50 PM on February 1, 2006

Damn, those four Aussie wanks have their auction up to $12K! To go drinking with them.

VMC, I hope he doesn't win it because this is a scam and is selling false hope. People who prey on parents of sick children should be loaded into a rocket and shot into the sun.
posted by fenriq at 4:54 PM on February 1, 2006

I close my eyes and said a prayer thinking maybe i had completely lost it.

No, you didn't lose it. You can't lose what you don't have.
posted by loquacious at 5:57 PM on February 1, 2006

Note that one of the other two auctions from this source is a clearly counterfeit Vuitton bag.

It's so sad that the Christian == criminal association is so common in my experience.
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 7:51 PM on February 1, 2006

eBay + virgin mary = crazy religious!!!
posted by j at 8:50 PM on February 1, 2006

Why is this an FPP?
posted by klangklangston at 9:33 PM on February 1, 2006

Followup:

The seller ended the auction early with the price at $162.50 in order to sell to the person with the sick daughter. Seller and buyer left immediate positive feedback for each other, and curiously, the seller states that no money changed hands.

Is it possible this seller intends to present the statue as a gift?

If so, delusionally religious or not, that is more my kind of Christianity, the kind I used to love.

When I first saw the listing, I was thinking this was one of those all-too-common mixes of religious ferver and cynical avarice. Now I am not so sure. I sent her an email asking if she intends to present the statue to the desperate bidder at no cost. I have no idea if she will answer.

If so, Hell, I might even buy that fake Vuitton bag off her, the one that the dog chewed the strap off of!

God, this is an interesting world, isn't it?

Oh, Klangklangston, what is an FPP?
posted by VMC at 11:13 PM on February 1, 2006

since endometriosis is chronic, isn't chronic endometriosis kinda redundant?
/nipick
posted by dabitch at 12:20 AM on February 2, 2006

aargh! nitpick.
posted by dabitch at 1:04 AM on February 2, 2006

Front Page Post.

Why is this an FPP as in "It's a one-link post about a retarded eBay auction. Why the fuck should this not have been deleted?"
posted by klangklangston at 8:17 AM on February 2, 2006

Thanks for the definition.

I think Jesus wanted angry Klang Klangston to read it and accept him as his personal Lord and Savior.
posted by VMC at 8:57 AM on February 2, 2006

tellurian: You can sell anything on ebay.
fenriq: Damn, those four Aussie wanks have their auction up to $12K!
I was wrong.
posted by tellurian at 3:22 PM on February 14, 2006