not an ER story.. but i have a good one from non-trauma surg..
when you get tired of vaginal or anal sex.. try transverse colon.. there are individuals out there who will pay 1000 bucks a pop to screw a colostomy patient (yes.. the colostomy).. more amazingly is there are prostitutes who sell their colostomy..
If you are a dirtball who is abusing the system for freebies and you've decided to go with the "I'm gonna kill myself 'n I wanna dinner tray" rouse you will look like a total moron when you try to elope after dinner and wind up in 4 points [restraint] with a butt full of Haldol screaming that you didn't mean you wanted to be put on a legal hold, you just wanted dinner.
The funniest thing about this goof ball was that one of the more experienced psych malingerers was laughing his ass of at him saying "If you tolds 'em you gonna kill youself you gots to stay. If all you wants is dinner you shoulda said you gots chest pains." Then the old guy looks at me and says, "Doc, he jes don know whats what. That's all." I almost peed myself.
Originally Posted by oompaloompa
In some neighborhoods they should put up signs in pet stores saying those little white mice are not intended for your sexual enjoyment.
Especially if you are a 350 pound woman and your many folds and orifices constitute a veritable maze. Ugh, it would have been kinder to feed the mice to a snake.......
So here's what this post did to my brain...obese woman --> mice --> maze --> cheese --> vagina --> dead mice in the cheesy maze of an obese woman's vagina
Thanks I'll be getting that job at Blockbuster now....
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