Comments on: Breaking news

Breaking news

growabrain — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 09:31:54 -0800

Newsfilter: $75,000 in Bull Semen Is Stolen From Frederick Farm. Oy Vey. (via)

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 09:46:39 -0800

"It was a mother load of semen that I consigned to Denver sale." Don't you mean mother lode, Eric? I certainly hope so.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 09:47:50 -0800

Is that, like, street value? "Hey, Bud, c'mere. Yeah, you. Wanna buy some bull juice?" "Some what?" "Bull juice. You know, a little of the old Fertilizer a la Ferdinand." "What?"

By: rkent

rkent — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:04:56 -0800

First: growbrain, you really should've taken this opportunity to initiate the "bullsemen" tag. Second: When he got home that night from a visit to relatives in Pennsylvania, he found that the 70-pound semen tank he had in an outbuilding was open... !!!

By: elpapacito

elpapacito — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:09:40 -0800

What in the love of Christ is somebody doing with a 70 pound semen tank that shouldn't be investigated by Homoland Security ?

By: Rothko

Rothko — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:17:23 -0800

What in the love of Christ is somebody doing with a 70 pound semen tank that shouldn't be investigated by Homoland Security ? Preliminary investigations suggest the swag may have been hidden inside Japanese manholes.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:26:31 -0800

HighJACKed, was it?

By: three blind mice

three blind mice — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:32:46 -0800

HighJACKed, was it? Jerked away in a stroke of genius.

By: bugmuncher

bugmuncher — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:40:39 -0800

... This is so 3 months ago. Which makes it not Newsfilter, IMHO, but rather, "the best of the Web." ...right? :-)

By: killdevil

killdevil — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 10:48:20 -0800

bollocks.

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 11:09:12 -0800

What in the love of Christ is somebody doing with a 70 pound semen tank that shouldn't be investigated by Homoland Security ? I think it's like as in "storage tank", not the kind with the caterpillar treads.

By: Mercaptan

Mercaptan — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 11:18:40 -0800

aubilenon: Perhaps it's the fabulous man-goo obsessed "Homoland Security", not the terrah obsessed Homeland Security. Also... bullkake Yeah, I said it.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 11:25:41 -0800

According to this handy little Small-Scale Dairy Farming Manual which illustrates the entire process quite nicely, bull semen should be stored at 196 C and kept in special containers.

By: Captain_Tenille

Captain_Tenille — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 12:02:14 -0800

Um, that's -196 C. 196 C would be one incredibly hot load of bull goo.

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 12:09:04 -0800

whew, thanks for correcting that C_T - I wouldn't want to get sued for disseminating bullshit bull semen storage advice.

By: Tenuki

Tenuki — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 12:14:43 -0800

I think it's like as in "storage tank", not the kind with the caterpillar treads. Time to start working on my art car for Burning Man '06

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 12:59:51 -0800

I hope they catch the jismjackers.

By: skallas

skallas — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 14:21:38 -0800

"It took Fleming years to build up his stock of bull semen" Eric Fleming doesn't even attempt to shake anyone's hands anymore. And the good people of Frederick County are better off for it.

By: pwb503

pwb503 — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 15:08:56 -0800

My Story About Bull Semen: Sapporo, Japan; twenty years ago. Man arrives in BFE (aka "inaka") Hokkaido not knowing any Japanese. Finds himself in love with the farmer's daughter and the only job he can do in the inaka with limited Japanese knowledge is work for his future father-in-law as a bull semen collector. Let's just say a lot has changed in the last twenty years of bull semem collection technology. Back then, the job consisted of climbing inside of a fake wooden cow and (more or lesss) giving the bull a handjob. Note, this isn't a story about me but rather supposedly a true story about a teacher I had in college.

By: wakko

wakko — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 15:24:16 -0800

By: steveburnett

steveburnett — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 17:37:47 -0800

Wasn't this a Miami Vice episode? Right: "The Cows of October" Feb 5, 1988.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 19:17:19 -0800

"bullkake" Mookkake?

By: stirfry

stirfry — Sat, 04 Feb 2006 20:04:59 -0800

Maybe the perp wants to sell it a spurt at a time at one of those semen donation centers. You know, one of those that gives the big bucks to the Mensa types.

By: deborah

deborah — Sun, 05 Feb 2006 19:58:51 -0800

precious bodily fluids Note to self: send WaPo bill for new keyboard.