aliens?
February 6, 2006 1:29 PM Subscribe
Nutjobs all over America have reported seeing aliens silently
wafting over their trailerparks in big ass triangular spaceships.
Could the truth to these sightings be a little closer to home?
Wow, the govmint sure is clever putting up things to throw us off the scent.
For those in the real world, the idea of using airships to get into orbit as done by JP Aerospace 175 is pretty nifty even if it doesn't pan out.
posted by sien at 1:46 PM on February 6, 2006
For those in the real world, the idea of using airships to get into orbit as done by JP Aerospace 175 is pretty nifty even if it doesn't pan out.
posted by sien at 1:46 PM on February 6, 2006
Excuse me, I must correct myself. JP Aerospace has been doing some things for 26 years, though it doesn't say what.
I am still skeptical of your wild theories however. UFOs from the far corners of the galaxy visiting our nation's trailer parks is still more likely
posted by poppo at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2006
I am still skeptical of your wild theories however. UFOs from the far corners of the galaxy visiting our nation's trailer parks is still more likely
posted by poppo at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2006
C:\website\ascender175.html
mmm, professional web design!
posted by mrbill at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2006
mmm, professional web design!
posted by mrbill at 1:50 PM on February 6, 2006
Cheap digital cameras are now common. If you'll notice, the UFO sightings are now liimited to places and people without the means to afford them.
I predict that the number of UFO sightings will continue to decrease as the price for digital cameras goes down.
posted by Malor at 1:55 PM on February 6, 2006
I predict that the number of UFO sightings will continue to decrease as the price for digital cameras goes down.
posted by Malor at 1:55 PM on February 6, 2006
“Why would unacknowledged aircraft be flying at 500 feet over populated areas?”
Question sorta answers itself really.
*MIBs show up*
I mean ok - 1. you’re probably talking to an engineer. 2. A low to mid-grade officer 3. Probably an older - low to mid-grade officer 4. working with classified information. 5. It’s near a test area 6. again - an engineer.
Seriously - you expect a straight answer?
(No offense to engineers of course, but there is a reason engineering firms have customer relation depts)
posted by Smedleyman at 1:55 PM on February 6, 2006
Question sorta answers itself really.
*MIBs show up*
I mean ok - 1. you’re probably talking to an engineer. 2. A low to mid-grade officer 3. Probably an older - low to mid-grade officer 4. working with classified information. 5. It’s near a test area 6. again - an engineer.
Seriously - you expect a straight answer?
(No offense to engineers of course, but there is a reason engineering firms have customer relation depts)
posted by Smedleyman at 1:55 PM on February 6, 2006
Cheap digital cameras are now common. If you'll notice, the UFO sightings are now liimited to places and people without the means to afford them.
I don't understand. More digital cameras = more cheap photography = more weird things getting photographed - wouldn't this make for more UFO reports?
posted by Western Infidels at 2:01 PM on February 6, 2006
I don't understand. More digital cameras = more cheap photography = more weird things getting photographed - wouldn't this make for more UFO reports?
posted by Western Infidels at 2:01 PM on February 6, 2006
Dear Diary: we've been training the new cadre of air drop ninjas the last few days, which is pretty gruelling. We use the triangular magic carpets, since they give the best trade off between aerodynamics and edge for the ninjas to jump off. They're a real pain in the ass to provision though, so I've been up before dawn almost every day. Sigh.
Still, it's a great job. Lots of fun, and I work with great people. Plus, now I get to run the lights! That's been a great idea - we were starting to get a lot of close calls with ninjas in populated areas. I don't need to tell you (since you're my diary, heh) that we can't afford too many of those. So now we flash pretty lights hung over the side of the magic carpet when the ninjas drop. The locals all stand around and stare up at the blinking lights and taking pictures, and don't notice the hordes of ninjas in drop gear carrying telecom equipment and shovels running around right behind them.
Now if we could figure out a good way to deal with the patterns the Ninja Summoning Circles make out in the cornfields we'd be set. Ah well, that's not my job.
posted by freebird at 2:08 PM on February 6, 2006
Still, it's a great job. Lots of fun, and I work with great people. Plus, now I get to run the lights! That's been a great idea - we were starting to get a lot of close calls with ninjas in populated areas. I don't need to tell you (since you're my diary, heh) that we can't afford too many of those. So now we flash pretty lights hung over the side of the magic carpet when the ninjas drop. The locals all stand around and stare up at the blinking lights and taking pictures, and don't notice the hordes of ninjas in drop gear carrying telecom equipment and shovels running around right behind them.
Now if we could figure out a good way to deal with the patterns the Ninja Summoning Circles make out in the cornfields we'd be set. Ah well, that's not my job.
posted by freebird at 2:08 PM on February 6, 2006
Western Infidels writes "wouldn't this make for more UFO reports?"
Once you show a clear multimegapixel image of most UFOs to experts they cease to be unknown.
posted by Mitheral at 2:26 PM on February 6, 2006
Once you show a clear multimegapixel image of most UFOs to experts they cease to be unknown.
posted by Mitheral at 2:26 PM on February 6, 2006
Just because someone sees something they don't understand doesn't make them a nutjob.
posted by moonbird at 2:39 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by moonbird at 2:39 PM on February 6, 2006
That's true moonbird, you need a website to be a nutjob these days.
posted by freebird at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by freebird at 2:42 PM on February 6, 2006
Nice work freebird. Kind of off topic but this site is very amusing:
Project Serpo:The Zeta Reticuli Exchange Program
posted by daniel9223 at 2:47 PM on February 6, 2006
Project Serpo:The Zeta Reticuli Exchange Program
posted by daniel9223 at 2:47 PM on February 6, 2006
More from WP.
I too am skeptical of UFO sightings because I have not seen anything myself (or decent photos/videos), but I am impressed by the number of accounts.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:55 PM on February 6, 2006
I too am skeptical of UFO sightings because I have not seen anything myself (or decent photos/videos), but I am impressed by the number of accounts.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:55 PM on February 6, 2006
UFOs seem to be the only thing thats gotten MORE common since video cameras became popular. Not many Loch Ness monster reports that I know of anymore.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:55 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:55 PM on February 6, 2006
*nervously reshapes tinfoil hat into triangle shape*
posted by Cranberry at 2:58 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by Cranberry at 2:58 PM on February 6, 2006
I said it before, I'll say it again.
Flying black triangles = B2 Bombers, F-117 fighters and/or military dirigibles.
Move along.
posted by frogan at 3:06 PM on February 6, 2006
Flying black triangles = B2 Bombers, F-117 fighters and/or military dirigibles.
Move along.
posted by frogan at 3:06 PM on February 6, 2006
As editor of UFO Magazine, I feel obliged to defend both our readers and the honor of many who write to us, daily, about the strange things they have seen and photographed. Some of those things cannot be so easily discounted.
We print only a very small portion of the material and because we're pinching pennies, our cheap paper eats up some of the detail some of the time. Yes, it's true!
Also, we're in close contact with military and civilian folks who help us sort out the test planes from the truly unidentified. Trust me, there really is something weird going on in our skies.
posted by filament at 3:55 PM on February 6, 2006
We print only a very small portion of the material and because we're pinching pennies, our cheap paper eats up some of the detail some of the time. Yes, it's true!
Also, we're in close contact with military and civilian folks who help us sort out the test planes from the truly unidentified. Trust me, there really is something weird going on in our skies.
posted by filament at 3:55 PM on February 6, 2006
As editor of UFO Magazine ... Trust me...
Sorry, can't.
posted by frogan at 4:12 PM on February 6, 2006
Sorry, can't.
posted by frogan at 4:12 PM on February 6, 2006
I'm getting incredibly tired of seeing the word "nutjob" on the frontpage and finding out it's about crazy people. Can we please talk about some other type of nutjob for once?!
jeez.
posted by shmegegge at 4:14 PM on February 6, 2006
jeez.
posted by shmegegge at 4:14 PM on February 6, 2006
Anyone who uses UFO and ALIEN interchangably as though they're the same thing deserves ZERO further attention.
posted by HTuttle at 4:15 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by HTuttle at 4:15 PM on February 6, 2006
Forget the boring V shaped balloon stuff, the Ping Pong Satellites are cool
posted by Megafly at 4:25 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by Megafly at 4:25 PM on February 6, 2006
Hey, Frogan: that's what they all say. Until they see something that shakes the very foundation of what they thought they knew ... and then they call us. Cryin' like a baby, shakin' like a leaf.
And we don't laugh. We report; you deride.
posted by filament at 5:03 PM on February 6, 2006
And we don't laugh. We report; you deride.
posted by filament at 5:03 PM on February 6, 2006
While it just seems close-minded to discount the ET hypothesis out of hand, there could be a technological explanation for these types of crafts. In 2002, students in Dearborn, Mich. won the regional science fair by creating a "lifter". It creates force from charge jumping from one side of a capacitor to another, producing an "ion wind". So it sounds like a cheap, inefficient version of current ion drives. For .pdfs on how to make your own, look here and here for a video (.wmv).
If highschool students could do this, what if you had a few billion dollars in defense funding available? Hmmm... new conspiracy theory theory... top-secret aircraft deployed over American urban centers to convince Al-Qaeda that we have an alliance with the greys and reptoids.
posted by Nquire at 5:07 PM on February 6, 2006
If highschool students could do this, what if you had a few billion dollars in defense funding available? Hmmm... new conspiracy theory theory... top-secret aircraft deployed over American urban centers to convince Al-Qaeda that we have an alliance with the greys and reptoids.
posted by Nquire at 5:07 PM on February 6, 2006
If UFOs and alien visitations were genuine, tangible, objective realities, the Internet would be an unstoppable force for detecting them.
How ridiculous is that? You could say the same thing about TV.
posted by mrgrimm at 6:37 PM on February 6, 2006
How ridiculous is that? You could say the same thing about TV.
posted by mrgrimm at 6:37 PM on February 6, 2006
and then they call us. Cryin' like a baby, shakin' like a leaf. And we don't laugh.
You do not laugh. Of course you don't. Laughter is the enemy of gullibility. You take their claims with utter seriousness. You do not encourage self-criticism or self-evaluation. You feed into their delusions and make them feel warm and comfy inside. In the banquet of life, you are Beefaroni.
Me? I'd buy them a beer and show them this photo and buy them this book. And then we'd laugh at the absurdity of this monkey race.
We report; you deride.
I deride because I love. *XOXOXO*
posted by frogan at 9:06 PM on February 6, 2006
You do not laugh. Of course you don't. Laughter is the enemy of gullibility. You take their claims with utter seriousness. You do not encourage self-criticism or self-evaluation. You feed into their delusions and make them feel warm and comfy inside. In the banquet of life, you are Beefaroni.
Me? I'd buy them a beer and show them this photo and buy them this book. And then we'd laugh at the absurdity of this monkey race.
We report; you deride.
I deride because I love. *XOXOXO*
posted by frogan at 9:06 PM on February 6, 2006
Maybe they have a mutual attraction for each other: Airstream vs. Aliens.
posted by cenoxo at 10:17 PM on February 6, 2006
posted by cenoxo at 10:17 PM on February 6, 2006
JP Aerospace - "The 100 foot keel truss weights 20 only pounds."
Too much time in the physics books I think.
posted by numlok at 10:27 PM on February 6, 2006
Too much time in the physics books I think.
posted by numlok at 10:27 PM on February 6, 2006
Never mind the UFO argument: is the floating way-station plan in any way feasible? The saving for space vehicles will be in not having to punch through the atmosphere, I guess: will this actually make any difference, given the orbital speeds that must be obtained?
posted by alasdair at 1:38 AM on February 7, 2006
posted by alasdair at 1:38 AM on February 7, 2006
You feed into their delusions and make them feel warm and comfy inside. In the banquet of life, you are Beefaroni.
Oh, my, but we do not! Actually, we drag them out into the light and let them blink and cover themselves in shame.
I'm telling you: The world is strange and there are legitimate government-involved mysteries and somebody's got to study them. And we'd be the first to tell you that Chef Boyardee is a big old fake.
posted by filament at 2:09 AM on February 7, 2006
Oh, my, but we do not! Actually, we drag them out into the light and let them blink and cover themselves in shame.
I'm telling you: The world is strange and there are legitimate government-involved mysteries and somebody's got to study them. And we'd be the first to tell you that Chef Boyardee is a big old fake.
posted by filament at 2:09 AM on February 7, 2006
Surely multi-megapixel digital cameras make UFO sightings ripe for photoshopping.
But personally, in the back of my head, is always the story my mother told me once. Her and her brother, out on their farm in rural Victoria, Australia, saw a massive object with rotating lights descent into a paddock, then lift off, late at night, with no noise. Circa 1952. They'd never heard of "UFOs" at the time. They didn't talk about it with each other for another 40 years. Somehow this sticks with me, and I can't quite write off all "UFO" stories as the fakery of crazies.
posted by Jimbob at 3:20 AM on February 7, 2006
But personally, in the back of my head, is always the story my mother told me once. Her and her brother, out on their farm in rural Victoria, Australia, saw a massive object with rotating lights descent into a paddock, then lift off, late at night, with no noise. Circa 1952. They'd never heard of "UFOs" at the time. They didn't talk about it with each other for another 40 years. Somehow this sticks with me, and I can't quite write off all "UFO" stories as the fakery of crazies.
posted by Jimbob at 3:20 AM on February 7, 2006
Nquire: The experiments into lifter technology are hampered by the limitation of supporting the power supply.
Using a gasbag for that lift makes perfect sense, and a 100 meter triangular shape certainly could lift a lot Duracells.
It occurs to me that to hide something unusual that flies, all you have to do is put some bright flashing colored lights on it and the "skeptics" (see above) will come out of the woodwork and make the same tinfoil hat jokes we're all tired of hearing.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 4:10 AM on February 7, 2006
Using a gasbag for that lift makes perfect sense, and a 100 meter triangular shape certainly could lift a lot Duracells.
It occurs to me that to hide something unusual that flies, all you have to do is put some bright flashing colored lights on it and the "skeptics" (see above) will come out of the woodwork and make the same tinfoil hat jokes we're all tired of hearing.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 4:10 AM on February 7, 2006
1. Nutjobs are more likely to see things they don't understand. If you see something you don't understand, statistically now, you are probably a nutjob.
2. If you had a digital camera and intended to take a picture, you would be more likely to take pictures of things you were really sure no one would understand. Having the camera increases your awareness and critical attention, and decreases sightings.
3. People lie more than we think. People also get confused more often than we think. Lastly, if they aren't confused or lying, people have more difficulty remembering accurately than we think.
Which is why there are a) few sightings of aliens by non-nutjobs; b) few digital pictures of UFO's that aren't photoshopped; and c) no aliens regardless of what our mothers' told us.
posted by ewkpates at 4:41 AM on February 7, 2006
2. If you had a digital camera and intended to take a picture, you would be more likely to take pictures of things you were really sure no one would understand. Having the camera increases your awareness and critical attention, and decreases sightings.
3. People lie more than we think. People also get confused more often than we think. Lastly, if they aren't confused or lying, people have more difficulty remembering accurately than we think.
Which is why there are a) few sightings of aliens by non-nutjobs; b) few digital pictures of UFO's that aren't photoshopped; and c) no aliens regardless of what our mothers' told us.
posted by ewkpates at 4:41 AM on February 7, 2006
For the record I don't think that folk who see odd things flying around are nutjobs whatsoever. It's the people who think that any of these objects originated anywhere other than good old Earth that are the issue (fueling the formers delusions)
Like Frogan said, stealth bombers and dirigibles (like the one I posted) are far, far more likely explanations.
posted by zeoslap at 5:58 AM on February 7, 2006
Like Frogan said, stealth bombers and dirigibles (like the one I posted) are far, far more likely explanations.
posted by zeoslap at 5:58 AM on February 7, 2006
Cheap digital cameras are now common. If you'll notice, the UFO sightings are now liimited to places and people without the means to afford them.
I predict that the number of UFO sightings will continue to decrease as the price for digital cameras goes down.
posted by Malor at 1:55 PM PST on February 6 [!]
Right. Because cheap cameras mean you can and will carry them everywhere!
posted by rough ashlar at 8:50 AM on February 7, 2006
I predict that the number of UFO sightings will continue to decrease as the price for digital cameras goes down.
posted by Malor at 1:55 PM PST on February 6 [!]
Right. Because cheap cameras mean you can and will carry them everywhere!
posted by rough ashlar at 8:50 AM on February 7, 2006
Any civilization that is capable of operating on and around this planet without providing substantive proof of its activities and which manages to avoid the attention of a significant majority of the over six billion sets of eyeballs we have at our disposal deserves, I think, to be left alone.
Seriously. They've obviously put a lot of effort into this. And you UFOlogists want to rain on their parade...why, exactly?
It's rude. The explosion of the occasional cow and poor bedside manner during the odd medical examination is, no doubt, a fair price to pay for the likely benefits of having a vastly superior civilization doing business on our turf. They obviously don't employ any kind of Prime Directive crap, because they assasinated JFK and disintegrated WTC-7.
Conclusion: why waste money on an asternoid-intercept programme to safe the Earth from a collision when our shy friends will probably backhand anything that comes our way anyway?
I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.
posted by CheeseburgerBrown at 10:58 AM on February 7, 2006
Seriously. They've obviously put a lot of effort into this. And you UFOlogists want to rain on their parade...why, exactly?
It's rude. The explosion of the occasional cow and poor bedside manner during the odd medical examination is, no doubt, a fair price to pay for the likely benefits of having a vastly superior civilization doing business on our turf. They obviously don't employ any kind of Prime Directive crap, because they assasinated JFK and disintegrated WTC-7.
Conclusion: why waste money on an asternoid-intercept programme to safe the Earth from a collision when our shy friends will probably backhand anything that comes our way anyway?
I, for one, welcome our new alien overlords.
posted by CheeseburgerBrown at 10:58 AM on February 7, 2006
"Right. Because cheap cameras mean you can and will carry them everywhere!"
Yeah, it kinda does. Most of the new cell phones are camera phones, for instance, so millions of people now have one with them constantly.
I take my digicam everywhere - I bought it specifically because of its tiny pocket size, so that I could. It also shoots video quite well.
If I see anything in the sky I don't understand, I'll be sure to snap a few shots for you. :)
posted by zoogleplex at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2006
Yeah, it kinda does. Most of the new cell phones are camera phones, for instance, so millions of people now have one with them constantly.
I take my digicam everywhere - I bought it specifically because of its tiny pocket size, so that I could. It also shoots video quite well.
If I see anything in the sky I don't understand, I'll be sure to snap a few shots for you. :)
posted by zoogleplex at 12:52 PM on February 7, 2006
Anyone who uses UFO and ALIEN interchangably as though they're the same thing deserves ZERO further attention.
Yeah, just like anyone who refers to the tooth fairy and the eater bunny as the same thing! I mean, one takes teeth, the other leaves eggs! I mean, they are *hff* obviously different *sputter* concepts entirely!
posted by mikrophon at 1:14 PM on February 7, 2006
Yeah, just like anyone who refers to the tooth fairy and the eater bunny as the same thing! I mean, one takes teeth, the other leaves eggs! I mean, they are *hff* obviously different *sputter* concepts entirely!
posted by mikrophon at 1:14 PM on February 7, 2006
Oh my god, there's an eater bunny now? Like I wasn't already having nightmares about all the human-animal hybrids which apparently walk amongst us...
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:49 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 1:49 PM on February 7, 2006
It occurs to me that to hide something unusual that flies, all you have to do is put some bright flashing colored lights on it and the "skeptics" (see above) will come out of the woodwork and make the same tinfoil hat jokes we're all tired of hearing.
LOL! "Our new flying warrior drone project? It's over here, under all the christmas lights and Simon guts."
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:54 PM on February 7, 2006
LOL! "Our new flying warrior drone project? It's over here, under all the christmas lights and Simon guts."
posted by sonofsamiam at 1:54 PM on February 7, 2006
Millions of people in the USA say they have seen UFOs. you think they are all confused/lying/hallucinating? Jimmy Carter saw a UFO and wrote up a report about it. Can you explain away that without making jokes about Jimmy Carter? If tommorrow you get up and see lights floating in the air that you can not explain, does that make you a nutjob? I am continually astonished at the closemindedness of metafilter
posted by tranceformer at 4:56 PM on February 7, 2006
posted by tranceformer at 4:56 PM on February 7, 2006
you think they are all confused/lying/hallucinating?
Yes. A thousand times yes.
People used to believe that drilling holes in your skull let the demons out. We're not terribly far removed from those times. Is it that hard to believe that people get confused, frightened and led astray?
posted by frogan at 8:51 PM on February 7, 2006
Yes. A thousand times yes.
People used to believe that drilling holes in your skull let the demons out. We're not terribly far removed from those times. Is it that hard to believe that people get confused, frightened and led astray?
posted by frogan at 8:51 PM on February 7, 2006
If tommorrow you get up and see lights floating in the air that you can not explain, does that make you a nutjob?
You've completely blown right by the issue. The issue isn't that people see lights they can't explain. That happens every day.
The issue is whether these same people then make the incredible leap of faulty logic that said lights are ALIEN BEINGS FROM ANOTHER WORLD or EVIDENCE OF A WORLDWIDE CONSPIRACY.
Instead of, you know, airplanes, meteors and blimbs with funny lights.
I am continually astonished at the closemindedness of metafilter
I am continually astonished at people who bring zero critical thinking skills to the party and claim they're just being "open-minded."
Have some Beefaroni.
posted by frogan at 9:00 PM on February 7, 2006
You've completely blown right by the issue. The issue isn't that people see lights they can't explain. That happens every day.
The issue is whether these same people then make the incredible leap of faulty logic that said lights are ALIEN BEINGS FROM ANOTHER WORLD or EVIDENCE OF A WORLDWIDE CONSPIRACY.
Instead of, you know, airplanes, meteors and blimbs with funny lights.
I am continually astonished at the closemindedness of metafilter
I am continually astonished at people who bring zero critical thinking skills to the party and claim they're just being "open-minded."
Have some Beefaroni.
posted by frogan at 9:00 PM on February 7, 2006
Instead of, you know, airplanes, meteors and blimbs with funny lights.
Right, airplanes meteors and blimps that stop in mid-air then reverse direction, execute pinpoint 90 degree turn, and hover 500 meters above the ground.
Have some youaredumbassaroni
posted by tranceformer at 2:01 PM on February 8, 2006
Right, airplanes meteors and blimps that stop in mid-air then reverse direction, execute pinpoint 90 degree turn, and hover 500 meters above the ground.
Have some youaredumbassaroni
posted by tranceformer at 2:01 PM on February 8, 2006
daniel9223, thank you very much for the Project Serpo link!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:09 AM on February 14, 2006
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:09 AM on February 14, 2006
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posted by poppo at 1:45 PM on February 6, 2006