Alas, a self-godwining thread

February 7, 2006 12:57 AM

H1t3r pwnd UK, USA!A gunnery has been discovered, buried beneath a metre of iron-rich Normandy soil. It was likely part of a ruse on the part of the Axis forces: a fake gunnery was also built, less conspicuously, and it took the abuse. It was forgotten -- or the memory at least buried by the locals and those who fought there -- until recently. Now it appears to explain some puzzles about Bloody Omaha [pic].
posted by five fresh fish (49 comments total)

H1t3r pwnd UK, USA!

You're a bloody idiot, five fresh fish.
posted by nlindstrom at 1:04 AM on February 7, 2006

(what puzzles?)
posted by NinjaPirate at 1:29 AM on February 7, 2006

Watch out for that Hiter, man. He's fucking devious.
posted by jimmy at 1:31 AM on February 7, 2006

Oh, get off it. The West has this big hate-on going for Muslims because they take offense to rude cartoons about their Prophet, and you're going to have the audacity to get nasty because I used g33ksp33k to describe how the Axis army successfully used a decoy gunnery to protect its real gunnery?

This is a significant historical find: it's an intact gunnery at a historically significant beach. It's going to make one helluva great museum/memorium for the future.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:49 AM on February 7, 2006

Jim looks pretty excited about it.
posted by strawberryviagra at 2:15 AM on February 7, 2006

5ff, if you'll excuse a bit of pedantry, "a gunnery"? I've never heard/read the word used like that.
posted by alumshubby at 2:38 AM on February 7, 2006

nub
posted by milov at 2:46 AM on February 7, 2006

get thee to a gunnery!
posted by saraswati at 2:47 AM on February 7, 2006

get thee to a gunnery!

Too fast for me. But makes possible: "Couldn't shoot a gun in a gunnery".
posted by loquacious at 2:50 AM on February 7, 2006

5ff, if you'll excuse a bit of pedantry, "a gunnery"?

Yeah, it took a bit for me to figure it out, but it is a simple collapse of "gun battery."

Hitler may have pwnd us with a fake battery, but we pwnd him with a fake Army Group. The only thing real about the whole thing was the commanding officer, who went to command the very real US Third Army.

Pretty good trick when you can convince the bad guys your army is twice as large as it really was.
posted by eriko at 2:55 AM on February 7, 2006

gunnery

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by insomnus at 3:10 AM on February 7, 2006

I'm still waiting for the puzzle spoilers.

Also fake tanks, fake supply lines
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:27 AM on February 7, 2006

I don't know if it's true, but I heard a story about the Germans building a wooden airfield, complete with buildings, a runway, a control tower, and a bunch of wood planes.

Rumor claims that, just as they were finishing up construction, an Allied plane circled overhead, and dropped a single wooden bomb on the runway.

I just did a quick Google search. The only thing I see is a variation of this story, wherein the RAF were trying to hoax the Germans with wooden artillery, and it was the Luftwaffe that dropped the wooden bomb. So this is probably not true, but it's amusing anyway. :)
posted by Malor at 4:15 AM on February 7, 2006

Malor: Snopes sez 'maybe'
posted by slater at 4:31 AM on February 7, 2006

Malor, snopes says maybe
posted by bunglin jones at 4:33 AM on February 7, 2006

ugh... preview, jones, preview.
posted by bunglin jones at 4:35 AM on February 7, 2006

The spanner and nut kids are cute enough, though.
posted by grabbingsand at 4:40 AM on February 7, 2006

Very cool fff. Thanks.
posted by caddis at 4:41 AM on February 7, 2006

How any of this is at all related to the "Prophet" bullshit is way beyond me.
posted by shoos at 4:58 AM on February 7, 2006

You should see the size of his ball peen hammer.
posted by furtive at 5:39 AM on February 7, 2006

Fake paratroppers too... part of Operation Fortitude.
posted by Witty at 5:41 AM on February 7, 2006

H1t3r pwnd UK, USA!

Yea, and really... this has nothing to do with Muslims. So you "get off it".
posted by Witty at 5:50 AM on February 7, 2006

You misspelt H1tl3r
posted by bonaldi at 6:03 AM on February 7, 2006

You misspelt H1tl3r

pwnd
posted by lemonfridge at 6:15 AM on February 7, 2006

It fascinates me that something that large and presumably well-known only 60 years ago somehow had to be rediscovered. No wonder we can't figure out where Atlantis went.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:20 AM on February 7, 2006

Well, regardless of who deceived who, this is a really interesting addendum to the history of the Normandy invasion. That part is indisputable. So as far as who should be getting kudos, I would say Rommel pwnd UK, USA!
posted by mk1gti at 6:28 AM on February 7, 2006

Hmm... so he drained a three-pointer from 30 feet to end the half, but he lost the game 118-67.
posted by Witty at 6:38 AM on February 7, 2006

A shrubbery?
posted by Joeforking at 6:43 AM on February 7, 2006

The only mention of a ruse I see isn't at Maisy battery; it's at the better known Pointe du Hoc. Maisy wasn't really a ruse so much as forgotten about.

Or maybe my reading skills are fading along with my youth...
posted by alumshubby at 6:46 AM on February 7, 2006

Funny, never saw this in any of the Call of Duty games...
posted by NationalKato at 6:57 AM on February 7, 2006

Also a fake invasion.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:03 AM on February 7, 2006

Shouldn't it be "H1t3r pwnd UK, USA, Canada"?

(Cool link, though.)
posted by Cyrano at 7:04 AM on February 7, 2006

good post fff
posted by a3matrix at 7:26 AM on February 7, 2006

Shouldn't it be "H1t3r pwnd UK, USA, Canada"?
---------------------------------------
And let's not forget the french. And the Belgians!
posted by mk1gti at 7:29 AM on February 7, 2006

You forgot Poland.
posted by majick at 8:12 AM on February 7, 2006

My favourite fake out of WWII: The Germans secretly rebuilt an airfield after the British bombed the heck out of it. They kept the fact that it was operational secret from the British by painting bomb craters and other debris on the runways. They even went so far as to fake a stream cutting across the runway. The last piece of trickery was their undoing as they forgot to upgrade the fake stream when the real stream feeding it froze over in winter.
posted by Mitheral at 8:17 AM on February 7, 2006

You forgot Poland.
--------------------------
I gave them a pass because they make such delicious sausages!
posted by mk1gti at 8:30 AM on February 7, 2006

Mmm!
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:00 AM on February 7, 2006

I've often wondered about the beaches and interior zones after D-Day--how many (years, months) days was it before citizens could return to working their land? They probably had to wait until the following spring--which makes me think Ol Bessy (or whatever the French equivalent is) must have blown herself to pieces over (literally) tons of unexploded ordinance. If the Allies cordoned off areas where they knew plenty of shells has landed (like the area around a gun emplacement), it seems more possible that something like this could have remained hidden.

Dunno. Interesting post, shitty framing.
posted by bardic at 9:33 AM on February 7, 2006

This is a fascinating find. Thanks, fff.
posted by teece at 10:04 AM on February 7, 2006

Yeah - awesome find, both the link to post here and the content of the link itself! BTW as the beaches were divided by invading force, I believe this particular gun placement would have only been useful for fooling/killing US soldiers - Canadians were over on Juno.
posted by mikel at 10:14 AM on February 7, 2006

With bicycles!
posted by bardic at 10:30 AM on February 7, 2006

...less conspicuously

I think you mean less inconspicuously or possibly more conspicuously. Also, "memorium" isn't a word.

Interesting information, but fff needs to invest in a dictionary.
posted by signalnine at 11:07 AM on February 7, 2006

Yeah, it took a bit for me to figure it out, but it is a simple collapse of "gun battery."

Oh, geez. Biggest Brain Fart Ever.

How embarassing. That and the 'hiter' spelling. Gahd. And all the other misteaks (sic).

I was very tired when I posted that.

BTW, it was UK/US because the Royal Air Force targetted the fake, and the US troops were slaughtered because Maisy was still operational.

Wish I'd remembered about the other fakies; it would have made a better post.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:15 AM on February 7, 2006

Fakery on this scale is harder now that there are satellites observing things. While techniques existed at the time to detect fakes (stereo cameras, infrared film) it was extremely hazardous to do so from an airplane.

Both sides engaged in deception. The Allies went to a lot of effort to try to convince the Nazi's we were going to attack the Pas de Calais, because of its proximity to England. It didn't completely fool them, but even a little bit helped. There were fake paratroopers and other bits of subterfuge, but this is the only one I can recall at the moment that was so effective and deadly.
posted by tommasz at 1:59 PM on February 7, 2006

My favorite WW2 hoax: Operation Mincemeat
posted by me & my monkey at 2:37 PM on February 7, 2006

'fish's corrollary to Godwin's Law...exceptions may exist where the subject of a thread is actually facists or nazis.

Good post, 'fish. Thanks.
posted by ThusSpakeZarathustra at 7:28 PM on February 7, 2006

Fascinating stuff, fff. One of the things which stuck me was the website's asking for anyone on either side with knowledge of what happened to come forward. Unfortunately, the veterans are disappearing at a rapid rate and soon actual witnesses to this history will no longer be available.

I don't suppose there are any D-Day veterans on Metafilter. If there are, I salute you.
posted by notmtwain at 4:30 AM on February 8, 2006

Aside: I commented on "iron-rich soil of Normandy." This was actually a subtle reference to bloodshed, and a slight commentary on the deep red of the soil around the [koff] "gunnery."

Question: is that soil naturally red, or is it a consequence of the war?
posted by five fresh fish at 12:29 PM on February 8, 2006