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Marshall Oak, Starfleet Captain
February 7, 2006 7:57 PM   Subscribe

Marshall Oak, Starfleet Captain is a photo gallery of 184 shots of Star Trek with Marshal Oak photoshopped in. Obsessive fan? Visual Slash Fiction? SciFi Where's Waldo? All of the above.
posted by mathowie (60 comments total)

 
This is just plain creepy.
posted by solid-one-love at 8:00 PM on February 7, 2006


Let's just hope the trend is waning.
posted by Balisong at 8:04 PM on February 7, 2006


with Marshal Oak photoshopped in (poorly)...
posted by doctor_negative at 8:04 PM on February 7, 2006


Please let this be fake.
posted by xmutex at 8:05 PM on February 7, 2006


I love how his pictures are tagged with "1701b". That way, you know exactly which Enterprise he's on.

Oh, and this is really scary.
posted by interrobang at 8:06 PM on February 7, 2006


HEHEHEH: oh fuck it, I can't be arsed today. Cut. Paste
posted by bonaldi at 8:07 PM on February 7, 2006


Actually, I think Captain Oak has much in common with the self referential work of Su En Wong featured on these pages a short while ago. One leans a little more toward the pop culture side of things, but I suspect their motivations are similar.

I find it interesting that he has chosen to focus on the Star Trek era represented in the first few feature films. Most fans are strictly original series or Next Generation. In a way, he's a bit of an innovator.
posted by aladfar at 8:08 PM on February 7, 2006


Lookee, he replicated.
posted by bonaldi at 8:10 PM on February 7, 2006


In a way, he's a bit of an innovator.

In despair?
posted by xmutex at 8:10 PM on February 7, 2006


Tony, who split from his wife Georgina after he replaced their fridge with a "warp coil"

You know, I wish I could just wave a magic wand and give these people their fantasy lives, you know? They seem to be at that place in fandom that's largely about an un-healable discontent with the ways things are. Wouldn't it be nice to just let them have what they so badly want?

Or not.
posted by jokeefe at 8:11 PM on February 7, 2006


Are the references to Brazil a second fantasy life?
posted by kleinmatic at 8:13 PM on February 7, 2006


man, you people are gonna feel bad when he joins up on Metafilter and comments in this thread.
posted by jonson at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006


I was gonna say that -- this is sure to be a thread he posts in.
posted by bonaldi at 8:14 PM on February 7, 2006


I think he's a fan from Brazil.

I love them, in all their amateur photoshopped cheesiness. I just can't believe how detailed the little stories are about each one and that he's done almost 200 of them.
posted by mathowie at 8:16 PM on February 7, 2006


Don't get me wrong, I think they're great. Sometimes the Internet is so wonderful I think it will tear me apart.
posted by kleinmatic at 8:19 PM on February 7, 2006


Why can't people have more productive hobbies?
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM on February 7, 2006


Like washing their hands and killing Jesus?
posted by the_bone at 8:23 PM on February 7, 2006


jokeefe - if you gave them exactly what they wanted (say, piping simulated reality straight into their brains), what's to stop piping everyone's particular fantasy (serial murderer, porn star, 1950's homemaker, &c) on whim? Would society crumble or would people wage away to afford to uprade to better equipment/software/&c?

I'm completely ok with hobbyists going all out and doing their thang. But, <shrug> this particular incarnation isn't particularly skilled... construct a home theatre that looks like a Startrek bridge? Manufacture stormtrooper uniforms by hand and attend cons? Great! Awesome! Kudos! This, well, this is a bit wank-y.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 8:23 PM on February 7, 2006


This reminds me a little of Henry Darger's obsessive fantasy-realm creation. Darger used repurposed pop culture images in his work, too. And he wrote lots of accompanying text to create an elaborate fictional world.
posted by blueloggy at 8:25 PM on February 7, 2006


Now I understand why he's focused on that "era" of Star Trek and, specifically, the Enterprise B. Isn't that the only ship in the series that doesn't have an official captain? Kirk was at the helm of the original and A. The captain of C was revealed on an episode of The Next Generation, and Picard had D and now commands E.

So, Oak is just as much the captain of the Enterprise B as Riverside Iowa is the birthplace of James T. Kirk.

This is all common knowledge, right? Right?
posted by aladfar at 8:28 PM on February 7, 2006


Please let this be fake.

What would it take to make this fake?
posted by grobstein at 8:30 PM on February 7, 2006


If he shows up in this thread, I will shit my pants.
posted by wheelieman at 8:33 PM on February 7, 2006


Why can't people have more productive hobbies?
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:21 PM PST on February 7 [!]

Like washing their hands and killing Jesus?
posted by the_bone at 8:23 PM PST on February 7 [!]


Great. Now I have Mountain Dew in my LUNGS! How am I going to get my coding project done with all these distractions?
posted by mystyk at 8:34 PM on February 7, 2006


The captain of the B was Cameron, who crashed it into the nexus. I know this because I watched Star Trek Generations last night and it made my eyes hurt.
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006


Er Cameron == Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Big Day Off
posted by bonaldi at 8:38 PM on February 7, 2006


I think its great that people get all obsessed with their fantasy life, but Star Wars and Star Trek? Aren't they kind of done to death?
posted by R. Mutt at 8:40 PM on February 7, 2006


You're right Bonaldi, I'd forgotten about that - the B was destroyed and Kirk was "killed" as a result. Perhaps it was rebuilt and/or another excelsior class starship was rebranded (like the Defiant was in DS9). All of which I bring up only because I'm certain Oak has figured out some way to plausibly work his character into the Star Trek timeline.
posted by aladfar at 8:48 PM on February 7, 2006


Man, his dad's Ferrari, the Enterprise B... that Alan Ruck's a goddamn menace, ain't he?

(Bonaldi, are you subconciously planning a mash-up of FBDO and Pee-Wee's Big Adventure? 'Cause if you were, I may have fallen slightly in love with you.)
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:52 PM on February 7, 2006


I'm Male, 39 and Single.

No way! Hurry up, ladies, time's running out
posted by saraswati at 9:05 PM on February 7, 2006


I love this. THIS is why I read Metafilter. Three Cheers for this guy!
posted by shmegegge at 9:12 PM on February 7, 2006


Jesus H, he's got a whole web site where he continues it. This is really depressing.
posted by xmutex at 9:20 PM on February 7, 2006


And to this he replyed "The name is Marshall, and we are always 'aliens' to the eye of each others... Every human being, be it really Human, or Vulcan, or whatever, has the impulse of loving, of caring... the needing to feel close to another one. And I do feel close about you, Saavik...!".

Awesome.
posted by eyeballkid at 9:33 PM on February 7, 2006


Can't we place him in a vacuum between two giant titanium plates and harness enough raw enthusiasm to power North America for 1000 years?
posted by slatternus at 9:39 PM on February 7, 2006


Matt, great post.

So sad.
posted by orthogonality at 9:41 PM on February 7, 2006


jokeefe - if you gave them exactly what they wanted (say, piping simulated reality straight into their brains), what's to stop piping everyone's particular fantasy (serial murderer, porn star, 1950's homemaker, &c) on whim?

Hey, I was talking about bone fide magic-- like, poof, there you are really and truly the Captain of a starship, none of this Matrix-like piping in of "reality". But as far as the second question goes, absolutely nothing.
posted by jokeefe at 9:43 PM on February 7, 2006


He keeps looking at the camera, the amateur.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:52 PM on February 7, 2006


I'm Male, 39 and Single.

Hey! So am I!

*sob*

(On the plus side, I don't have a weird ST obsession. And I don't play golf.)
posted by Pinback at 9:53 PM on February 7, 2006


Zelig Cochran.
posted by rob511 at 9:53 PM on February 7, 2006


My stomach hurts from laughing at the golf photo linked above. Hoo!
posted by davejay at 9:56 PM on February 7, 2006


From the link xmutex posted:

We have video..
posted by vacapinta at 10:21 PM on February 7, 2006


Dear Diary:
My plans to slowly prepare early 21st century Earth culture for the existence of galactic civilization are proceeding apace, but I am concerned at an unexpected complication. The seeds I planted through that ignorant fool Roddenberry oh so many years past have taken root as I had planned. The popular culture has moved through an initial fascination and on into jaded weariness. The "television shows", so carefully crafted through my manipulations of their pathetic writers to resemble the reality that might shock them, have been a tremendous success for local years. The "Star Trek" materials have now become such common cultural currency as to be considered boring and archaic - this is partially due to familiarity, and partly to an intentional reduction in quality over time. So when the Fleet arrives and my mission is complete, the primitives (our forbearers!) will be subconsciously prepared and un-threatened.

And yet all is endangered by the stupidest of errors! Some of my old photos - source material from my personal archives which I used for creating "Star Trek" (through my unwitting slaves in the "entertainment industry") - have been stolen! Worse, these personal photographs have been distributed on the sad and crude com-net they call "the IntraWeb". Fortunately, since the television and "movie" shows were so closely based on my records, the latter are instantly assumed to be fake. In an excess of cosmic irony, my old school photos and memorabilia are thought to be altered extracts from the fictional works! While they hand around actual depictions of Fleet Operations and Personnel, they mock them for being bad fakes of the video and film programming they grew up with.

If the success of The Mission were not at stake, I would perhaps be more amused by this preposterous turn of events. As it is, I must do all I can to ensure they continue to be regarded as fakes. I will attempt to encourage their distribution on this "Intra-Web", and "log in" to their primitive group comm centers to mock them as the pathetic daydreams of an obsessed fan. The damage should be minimized, and in the end this may all help The Mission as it serves to both reinforce the familiarity the Primitives feel for this imagery and to keep it fresh in their memory.
posted by freebird at 10:35 PM on February 7, 2006


As someone who shares the same first name as this guy, let me just say that this is not a very proud moment.

What language was that in the video? I first thought it was some kind of alien gibberish overdub, but it sounds more polished than that.
posted by emelenjr at 10:47 PM on February 7, 2006


I just choked on my coffee freebird... that was very funny. Fantastic post, too.
posted by greycap at 11:59 PM on February 7, 2006


Is he speaking ESPERANTO in the video????
posted by jettloe at 1:07 AM on February 8, 2006


I want to know if he has any pictures of Lt. Mary Sue. Preferrably nude.
posted by moonbiter at 1:40 AM on February 8, 2006


2293 [26] Commander Oak with his father Enginering Admiral Atreides Oak

PUT DOWN the Frank Herbert and step away slowly.

Also, there appears to be a book.

Awesome post!
posted by raena at 2:36 AM on February 8, 2006


Let's just hope the trend is waning.

Looks like it is. The webpage says the last log in was January 24.

Even weirder is that his buddy, Dr. Byron, seems to want to play along too.

Man, they gots to get better glasses in the future.
posted by Ironmouth at 6:56 AM on February 8, 2006


Red Alert! Personal Ad located.

Its for Yahoo! Brazil, but the ad is half in German, half in Portugese. The photo is all Captain Oak, I'm afraid.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:06 AM on February 8, 2006


The real joke is that half of you wish you had thought of this first and just can't admit to it. ;-P
posted by mischief at 7:51 AM on February 8, 2006


Its for Yahoo! Brazil, but the ad is half in German, half in Portugese.

He really likes to watch tv and read, and one of his favorite genres is sci fi.

I would never have guessed.
posted by moonbiter at 8:15 AM on February 8, 2006


Truly, this is as beautiful and terrible as the dawn.
posted by kalimac at 8:40 AM on February 8, 2006


Can't we place him in a vacuum between two giant titanium plates and harness enough raw enthusiasm to power North America for 1000 years?

No, we can't. The subtle variances in the intrinsic fields could affect Oak at the Bose-Einstein layer, at which point we'd all have to call him Marshall Manhattan.
posted by Smart Dalek at 9:12 AM on February 8, 2006


The actor who plays Captain Marshall Oak kept getting cut out of the movies and TV shows cuz he wouldn't stop looking into the camera!
posted by Hanover Phist at 10:24 AM on February 8, 2006


Single?

Guess that fling with Saavik didn't pan out.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:13 PM on February 8, 2006


... and that's when he hooked up with the wide-eyed Andorian babe. Crikey.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:26 PM on February 8, 2006


Isn't that Andorian chick Britney Spears?
posted by Megafly at 3:03 PM on February 8, 2006


No, we can't. The subtle variances in the intrinsic fields could affect Oak at the Bose-Einstein layer, at which point we'd all have to call him Marshall Manhattan.

But..if we reverse the polarity on them first, we can subsume their endochronic properties into the bacterium filter of the t'shenkian coffee maker we're carrying to Cygwin III!
posted by Sparx at 4:28 PM on February 8, 2006


Nope, we just need to photoshop Dr. Byron onto Rorschach or Night-Owl. That'll show them.
posted by freebird at 5:05 PM on February 8, 2006


I thought we were talking abuot Dr Tanya Byron for aminute. I'd photoshop myself into her picture, youbetterbelieveit
posted by bonaldi at 6:19 PM on February 8, 2006


so... will he be presenting at the webby awards this year, or next year?
posted by Jeremy at 7:02 PM on February 8, 2006


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