Release the nasty (please!)

February 22, 2006 2:51 AM

Say "cheese" — stinky, expensive, overprocessed American cheese.The venerable Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has revealed its set design for the Seventy-Eighth Academy Awards® Telecast. This year's edition is described as "an homage to old movie theaters" by designer Roy Christopher. "It's a no-holds-barred return to classic Hollywood glamour." Others may beg to differ.
posted by rob511 (56 comments total)

Please, refrain from posting about the Oscars. It only encourages the bastards.
posted by Jimbob at 3:23 AM on February 22, 2006

Jon Stewart ought to make short work of that.
posted by rocketpup at 3:34 AM on February 22, 2006

Ick.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:37 AM on February 22, 2006

I bet Gil Cates gets a lot of grief over that name. Sort of like being named Radolf Whitler or Bidi Gamin or something...
posted by Meatbomb at 3:38 AM on February 22, 2006

ahahaha

yes, this^^
posted by NinjaPirate at 3:38 AM on February 22, 2006

I have never seen a movie theater from any era that looked like that.

I can picture Julius Caesar walking onto that set, taking a look around, and saying, "I'm sorry, but this is a bit much."
posted by Jatayu das at 4:43 AM on February 22, 2006

It isn't the cheese that stinks, it's this FPP.
posted by Fat Guy at 4:54 AM on February 22, 2006

I think the 1920s fox theaters, like the one in Detroit were even busier.
posted by katinka-katinka at 5:01 AM on February 22, 2006

Fat Gut, I fear too much exposure to MeFi is causing you to take up an adversarial position when a consensus position is easily achievable. To wit, both shit.
posted by biffa at 5:04 AM on February 22, 2006

...stinky, expensive, overprocessed American cheese.

You say it like it's a bad thing — this is a set designed for a television extravaganza that celebrates American movies, after all. Dull, sober reality has nothing to do with it. Considering the subject, audience, and venue, I think the set looks pretty good.

Hollywood Deco theaters, even in distant Boise, Idaho, are supposed to be cheesy. It's showtime!
posted by cenoxo at 5:06 AM on February 22, 2006

I'm not sure how you can draw a conclusion about the set design based only on the photo in the linked article. Unless the mere description offends you in some way. I'd like to see more evidence before I decide whether to deride or not.
posted by mmahaffie at 5:24 AM on February 22, 2006

The old theaters had charm. What else were we supposed to do without Dolby or THX? Dumb shits.

And saying American cheese 'stinks' only shows your ignorance of real cheese. American cheese is almost totally lacking in aroma.

Getoffa my lawn!
posted by Goofyy at 5:32 AM on February 22, 2006

I wouldn't want to see a play like Hobson's choice on that set, but it looks fine for, I don't know, some kind of overblown back-patting exercise for a bunch of self-absorbed movie types or something.
posted by nowonmai at 5:41 AM on February 22, 2006

I can't wait to see this booth at ComDex next year.
posted by Neologian at 5:46 AM on February 22, 2006

GlurgeFilter? MetaGlurge? Met... hey! Look at that dog! He's got a hat on!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:47 AM on February 22, 2006

After the first thirty seconds of the show, nobody pays the slightest attention to the set, not even the people in the auditorium.
posted by briank at 6:04 AM on February 22, 2006

We have to pay attention to that set for thirty whole seconds? Fuck.
posted by nebulawindphone at 6:08 AM on February 22, 2006

An entire post dedicated to flaunting your catty opinion about an awards show set? Is there anything more meaningless anywhere?
posted by MaxVonCretin at 6:16 AM on February 22, 2006

...aside from a follow-up post to bitch about it, that is.
posted by MaxVonCretin at 6:17 AM on February 22, 2006

mmahaffie, try the second link (under the words "set design). It shows a picture of the set.
posted by Jatayu das at 6:17 AM on February 22, 2006

Indeed, I find it quite pleasant.
posted by lometogo at 6:19 AM on February 22, 2006

A better photo, without the Getty Images logo.
Also on that page, a better explanation: this is supposed to look like a colorful old movie theatre as if filmed in black and white. The theater designs of S. Charles Lee.
posted by beagle at 6:20 AM on February 22, 2006

I think the 1920s fox theaters, like the one in Detroit were even busier.

Well, but at least that one has a spesific style, baroque (or rokoko). This Oscars set design is just -- it's like someone's dream of a classic hollywood style based on a bunch of old movies they'd seen. Maybe not horrible, but a little jarring.
posted by delmoi at 6:25 AM on February 22, 2006

Blah ... its so crappy, its perfect for Hollywood!
posted by R. Mutt at 6:48 AM on February 22, 2006

Paging Liberace.
posted by digaman at 6:57 AM on February 22, 2006

I think it does what it's supposed to quite well - evokes a particular style of theatre. Before the big box, multi-screen suburban theatre behemoths we see now were so popular, movie theatres were not entirely unlike what's presented there. Sure, it's somewhat overblown, but christ, it's the Oscars, it's supposed to be overblown.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:59 AM on February 22, 2006

Release the nasty ?
Others may beg to differ.

Oh, no kidding? I suppose opening with an allusion to foul dairy products wasn't clear enough? Worthless post.
posted by prostyle at 7:01 AM on February 22, 2006

Nothing breathtaking, but not nearly as bad as the FPP makes it out to be. Better than most of the recent Oscars set designs, if memory serves. At least it's not an MTV awards-ish set with weirdly shaped monitors and odd angles and colors everywhere. Still won't watch it.
posted by kryptondog at 7:11 AM on February 22, 2006

An entire post dedicated to flaunting your catty opinion about an awards show set? Is there anything more meaningless anywhere?

...aside from a follow-up post to bitch about it, that is.

Don't forget about inserting snarks to show you are above the fray and demonstrate how cool and hip you are.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:18 AM on February 22, 2006

Looks fine to me.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:28 AM on February 22, 2006

I kinda like it. And complaining about Hollywood being over the top is like complaining about how shitty this post is. It's a given.
posted by crunchland at 7:36 AM on February 22, 2006

the idea is pretty good, the execution fucking sucks. he should go work for Disney or something. I love the ornate old movie theatres scattered around Los Angeles, but this looks more like some hack's vectorized Illustrator rendition of an old movie theater than the real thing. Perhaps the "as seen in black and white" idea should have been put out of its misery early on.
posted by dvdgee at 7:58 AM on February 22, 2006

Oscars and Cheesy are interchangeable words.
posted by HTuttle at 7:59 AM on February 22, 2006

It's the fucking Oscars, people - it's just a trade organisation giving out trinkets to one another - it's as irrelevant as a bunch of bulk-sale sanitary towel sales people hiring a Holiday Inn conference room and awarding each other plastic trophies.

Let them get on with it by all means, but by watching/talking about it all, you're enablers for their delusions of self-importance.
posted by Blue Stone at 8:07 AM on February 22, 2006

I rather like it.
posted by cillit bang at 8:11 AM on February 22, 2006

I suppose opening with an allusion to foul dairy products wasn't clear enough?

Dairy? American cheese is a petroleum distillate, not a dairy product.

To you foreign people who insist on having your own customs: American cheese is processed cheese or process cheese.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:17 AM on February 22, 2006

I am not too fond of the two swoopy sculptures on either side of the stage, but otherwise, it's not bad. I do like the Oscar and the line of statues above the stage.
posted by SisterHavana at 8:36 AM on February 22, 2006

God. It looks like they're holding a Miss America Padgent, not the Oscars.
posted by Hexidecimal at 8:39 AM on February 22, 2006

God. It looks like they're holding a Miss America Padgent, not the Oscars.

Are those in two different universes, or something?
posted by beagle at 8:43 AM on February 22, 2006

Blurgh. I really wish it could be more like the BAFTAs. The theme for their set seemed to be....bluish, and they didn't even bother to hide the "sponsored by" Orange logo right on the podium. Plus it was hosted by Stephen Fry, and all he did was make mildy racy remarks about how attractive all the actors were. I do so wish we hadn't lost the Revolutionary War.
posted by Dormant Gorilla at 9:01 AM on February 22, 2006

I happen to like American cheese.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:03 AM on February 22, 2006

I happen to like American cheese.

Some months back the NY Times ran a mac and cheese recipe insisting on American cheese as the key ingredient.

None of the tony stores in this neighborhood carried it in any form other than individually wrapped slices, so I unwrapped four pounds of it.

I like the set, too.
posted by StickyCarpet at 9:23 AM on February 22, 2006

Dairy? American cheese is a petroleum distillate, not a dairy product.

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTT!
wrong

Laugh at process cheese all you want, but if it weren't for processed cheese you wouldn't be able to get the fancy stuff nearly as readily.
posted by ozomatli at 9:30 AM on February 22, 2006

It's very good on falafel, as odd as that might sound.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:34 AM on February 22, 2006

it's as irrelevant as a bunch of bulk-sale sanitary towel sales people hiring a Holiday Inn conference room and awarding each other plastic trophies.

True, but Charlez Theron is a lot more hot than Karl from accounting. We already live in the Holiday Inn conference room world, the Oscars provide a fantasy world of glitz and glamour that some folks use as an escape from drab reality. I suppose it's better than them drinking themselves into oblivion, no?
posted by Pollomacho at 9:40 AM on February 22, 2006

I like the little guy on the edge of the set. I think it's Sammi Davis Jr. Or maybe Billy Crystal.

Or a Jedi.
posted by palinode at 9:42 AM on February 22, 2006

True, but Charlize Theron is a lot more hot than Karl from accounting.

And for the portrayal of a woman struggling for equality in the hardscrabble mining country of North Carolina, the Oscar goes to... Karl from accounting!

Karl from accounting could not appear tonight. In his place, the much more hot Charlize Theron will accept the award.
posted by palinode at 9:45 AM on February 22, 2006

Jatayu das, I sit corrected. And Beagle, thanks for the better photo.

Looks like an awards show set to me. I've decided to cut down on cheese; it's not too healthy, at least not in the amounts I was used to eating it.

On a serious note, I think we'll need to see the finished product, and see it in action, before we decide whether the set gets an award or not.
posted by mmahaffie at 9:57 AM on February 22, 2006

I quite like it. It's far from an obvious choice, which is a good thing no matter how tasteless. The whole oscars event is a bizarre self-congratulatory slicked-up dudey cheeseball affair anyway (in fact pretty much every awards event is), surely this is more fitting than anything.
posted by 6am at 10:10 AM on February 22, 2006

I think it's ok, it reminds me of a Flo Ziegfeld theatre/movie set, especially the big swoopies on either side. I love those OTT, not-based-in reality theatre & movie sets from the old days. They're supposed to look like someone's dream.
posted by zarah at 10:20 AM on February 22, 2006

What is that on either side of the stage? The upended, giant, bleached husks of prehistoric sea monsters?
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:47 AM on February 22, 2006

ozomatli, increase the sensitivity of your sarcasm/joke detector.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:54 AM on February 22, 2006

It's cheesy... but it's marble... It's Colby-Jack!
posted by wendell at 10:59 AM on February 22, 2006

Set, shmet! An easily ignorable detail.

The Oscars exist for one reason and one reason only:

1. An excuse for my friends to throw a fabulous party, with themed potluck dishes (e.g., Truman's Fruit Co[m]pote or, as a symbol of his best friend Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird", you make one utterly perfect dish and then never cook again; Brokeback beans and weenies; monkey bread with bananas for "King Kong"; Crash black and white cookies; Wallace and Gromit's Curse of the Welsh Rarebit ... you get the picture)

2. Making fun of the outfits.

3. Waiting (and hoping) for "controversy".

4. Oh, and the hoping-against-hope that they'll eventually give us more production numbers like this one.
posted by chuq at 11:35 AM on February 22, 2006

I really wish it could be more like the BAFTAs. The theme for their set seemed to be....bluish

Yeah, that was one damn cheap set.

Costs: Lights - $20,000. Screens $10,000. Venue hirage - $50,000. Stephen Frey $10,000.

Revenue: Orange logo on podium $500,000.

Cheap, nasty and profitable.
posted by meech at 12:58 PM on February 22, 2006

Dammit, another stupid thing that will double the commute time to get home from work. *sigh*
posted by starscream at 1:45 PM on February 22, 2006