teabaggin
February 23, 2006 9:38 PM   Subscribe

tea-bagging ruined my life a ruinous teabag incident
posted by obeygiant (107 comments total)

 
Assualt is funny now?
posted by jikel_morten at 9:42 PM on February 23, 2006


Assault too?
posted by jikel_morten at 9:43 PM on February 23, 2006


Is YouTube going to be added to the same list as The Onion - obvious places that everyone is assumed to know about already? Like BoingBoing?
posted by ao4047 at 9:46 PM on February 23, 2006


I don't get it. Is it a joke? Or just a description of sexual assault?
posted by loquax at 9:47 PM on February 23, 2006


I don't get it.
posted by alms at 9:48 PM on February 23, 2006


Yeah, the mother sobbing over the violent sexual assault of her son totally buzzkilled all that awesome teabagging stuff.
posted by iloveit at 9:48 PM on February 23, 2006


as far as I'm concerned, video links in general fit the yawner profile. YMMV.
posted by mwhybark at 9:49 PM on February 23, 2006


This FPP is resting its genitals on my monitor, and I don't like it.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:49 PM on February 23, 2006


Not funny. Tragic, but not funny.
posted by awesomebrad at 9:51 PM on February 23, 2006


Yeah, I have no idea how to react to this.

Did anyone else get the impression at the end that the mom was upset because her son was traumatized over being sexually assaulted? "After 15 years... This is what I get back"
Gee, sorry things didn't work out for YOU, lady.
posted by papakwanz at 9:52 PM on February 23, 2006


I think there's a Morrissey song in here, somewhere.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:56 PM on February 23, 2006


I did think the "work my butt off" comment was a poor choice to follow the banana in the rectum story.

(disclaimer: I don't think the whole situation is funny, but I had to find some humor since it is an internet video)
posted by jahmoon at 9:56 PM on February 23, 2006


I don't think the humor is in the assualt here, but in that a teenager's mother went on television and talked about his assault, after giving a graphic description of tea bagging. So, it might not be funny to be tea bagged, and almost have fruit shoved inside you, but it IS funny to have your mother go on television and tell the nation about it. To me at least. Mildly.
posted by Doug at 9:57 PM on February 23, 2006


O Wholly Insensitive Front Page Post
posted by VulcanMike at 9:58 PM on February 23, 2006


Lighten up... it's just fruit and nuts.
posted by thefreek at 10:00 PM on February 23, 2006


So, it might not be funny to be tea bagged, and almost have fruit shoved inside you, but it IS funny to have your mother go on television and tell the nation about it. To me at least. Mildly.

Once you strip away the sexist, macho "Some dude got teabagged and his mom's talking about it on TV" part, it really sounds like a story about sexual assault. I mean... replace in your mind the guy with girl, and any non-serious discussion of the subject is pretty offensive.
posted by VulcanMike at 10:00 PM on February 23, 2006


This kid should not be on tv for this fucking story. I really hope the parents didn't sell him out for a little coin.
posted by jikel_morten at 10:01 PM on February 23, 2006


I have another question (why am I still thinking about this video?)

If you were being held down (by some bullies, I assume) and one of them shoved his sac in your face, why wouldn't you just bite the damn thing off? I mean, yeah, no one wants bloody balls in their mouth, but in the interests of self-defense... I mean, they almost raped him with a banana, its not like things were going to get any worse. With one of them out of commission, you at least have a better chance of defending yourself. And really, who's going to fuck with a guy who just bit off another dude's nuts?
posted by papakwanz at 10:02 PM on February 23, 2006


Teabagging ... funny in the right situation.
Bananna up the wazoo without permission ... not funny and worthy of rape/assault charges.
posted by Dillenger69 at 10:03 PM on February 23, 2006


I just realized something. Look at the wording of the post: "tea-bagging ruined my life"

obeygiant... we all sympathize with your pain, but you know that self-links aren't allowed.
posted by papakwanz at 10:05 PM on February 23, 2006


If you follow the teabagging tag at YouTube, you get a good percentage of, you know, actual teabagging incidents carried out while the victim's asleep.

This raises the question of which is worse -- a video of your being teabagged being available online, or telling your mom you were teabagged and almost banana-raped?
posted by booksandlibretti at 10:06 PM on February 23, 2006


posted by thefreek Lighten up... it's just fruit and nuts.

Followed with cheese, and whine.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:11 PM on February 23, 2006


booksandlibretti- those videos reveal a whole lot of closetted homosexuality.
posted by papakwanz at 10:15 PM on February 23, 2006


I was expecting darjeeling.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:16 PM on February 23, 2006


Tea. Earl Grey. XXX Hot.
posted by fandango_matt at 10:17 PM on February 23, 2006


fake.
posted by rainman84 at 10:21 PM on February 23, 2006


I think there's a Morrissey song in here, somewhere.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:56 AM EST on February 24 [!]


It's time the tale were told...
posted by juiceCake at 10:21 PM on February 23, 2006


This post really could have been rounded out with a link to Wikipedia. As a testament to the comprehensiveness of that which is Wikipedia, the entry includes this delightful suggestion;
A variant known as a roman helmet involves laying the penis along the person's nose while placing the testicles on their eyes, somewhat resembling the helmet of a Roman legionary.
posted by iloveit at 10:26 PM on February 23, 2006


Sure, sexual assault isn't funny.

But that "Who farted in here?" look on the face of the interviewer in that over-the-shoulder shot is going to have me laughing to myself for days.
posted by quite unimportant at 10:27 PM on February 23, 2006


Believe it or not, this guy went to my high school. At the time, people found it strange how the mother outed the whole story to the media so quickly. The banana part seems to have been exaggerated, according to other witnesses, but nonetheless this is a shitty thing to happen to a kid on multiple levels.
posted by themadjuggler at 10:37 PM on February 23, 2006


This post is in pretty poor taste. Making fun of sexual assault? Not good.
posted by caddis at 10:46 PM on February 23, 2006


interesting, themadjuggler. do you have any more details about the incident?
posted by ori at 10:47 PM on February 23, 2006


That's a shitty thing to do to a banana, too.
posted by emelenjr at 10:52 PM on February 23, 2006


UBIA?
posted by NorthernSky at 10:55 PM on February 23, 2006


I had something sort of similar happen to me once in my early teens, I would have been slightly younger than this guy.

I never told any adults but I kind of regret not seeking some justice, or creating my own by giving this guy a beating of a lifetime (which I am reasonably sure I could deliver). In fact, sometimes I think if we should cross paths I might decide to right some past wrongs - this is at 30 years of age.

On the other hand, telling an adult might have provoked a response like this guys' mom which probably would be harder to handle. The current state of affairs is where I kind of hold myself weak for being a "good sport" and not trouncing this idiot. I take some comfort in the fact that he turned into a complete loser.

Was it life altering? Maybe not. But it still raises some issues when I think about, and that is pretty much only when I come across something like this. These are sexual assaults though, and this kid should not be mocked - I don't discount his pain but his mom may make it harder to move on.
posted by Deep Dish at 11:01 PM on February 23, 2006


I probably shouldn't go into it too much (who knows what the etiquette is for this type of situation), but I can say that it was hazing done at a high school football training camp done by a few stupid individuals (the team has no history of hazing, nor do the coaches endorse it by any means). I was at the camp but only heard about it second-hand. It was one of the many reasons I hated high school football.
posted by themadjuggler at 11:02 PM on February 23, 2006


You know, all things considered, being teabagged and attempted banana-boned is one of the less cruel and painful things that could be done to you by a bully. Not that broken noses or black eyes are anything to laugh about either, necessarily.

I'm still laughing though.
posted by wolftrouble at 11:05 PM on February 23, 2006


I have little sympathy for anything that happens to someone during a hazing incident (I know I'm making an assumption that this was somehow hazing-related). You know shit is going to happen when you try to join.

"Gee! I had no idea that when I wanted to join the Jr. Badass L'il-man club they would humiliate me."

Bullshit. You want to join losers that bad, expect to get treated like a loser upfront.

The mom shouldn't be weeping because they treated her kid that way after 15 years of hard work of "mothering", she should be weeping because after 15 years, all she could manage was to raise a spineless proto-frat conformist.

As a dad, that would break my heart.
posted by sourwookie at 11:23 PM on February 23, 2006


It's the fart game son. You'll play some day.
posted by bardic at 11:26 PM on February 23, 2006


Interesting. While I don't particularly think it's funny (at my age), this should probably go under the 'hazing epidemic' issue rather than what I believe is incorrectly being called "sexual assault".

Type 'Tea-bagging' into You Tube and you'll find like 10 videos of snortling adolescents ball bagging their sleeping friends. I did a lot of similar stuff in Jr. Highschool - I regret none of it, and at the time it was the funniest shit ever. I doubt anyone was emotionally "broken" and everyone got their's eventually.

That said, this stuff can easily go "too far", due to the combined stupidity and vulnerability of youth and it really sucks when people get traumatically humiliated, but this is easily in a whole different league than the horrors of prison sexual abuse, which I still can't believe gets laughs.
posted by dgaicun at 11:37 PM on February 23, 2006


GUYS THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.

THIS SACKULAR EPIDEMIC WILL NOT STOP UNTIL IT REACHES THE VERY GRUNDLE (I.E. HEART) OF THE NATION'S YOUTH AND THAT MOTHER IS A BRAVE, BRAVE SOUL FOR GETTING THIS SHAMEFUL, GROWING MENACE OUT INTO THE LIGHT WHERE IT CAN BE PROPERLY PRESENTED TO A MASS AUDIENCE VIA TCP/IP PACKET TECHNOLOGY.
posted by wakko at 11:44 PM on February 23, 2006


i mean, GOD.
posted by wakko at 11:45 PM on February 23, 2006


So, who's their attorney, and how much are they suing the school for?

Tea-bagging. I've seen photos, always thought they looked incredibly silly. But straight boys have this thing of thinking it makes their buddies look gey if they do that to them.

Banana action is an entirely different thing which lowers the silly prank to the level of real assault. I'm not sure how 'sexual' a banana in the ass is, since neither banana nor rectums are exactly sex organs (well, bananas are, but only to other bananas).

So was this really 'hazing', or were they out to reject this guy from the team? I endured a lot of crap in my life. When it's a group thing, it isn't a big deal. When it is a personal attack, that's different.
posted by Goofyy at 12:07 AM on February 24, 2006


What a crappy post. What were you thinking, obeygiant? There's nothing here.
posted by mediareport at 12:19 AM on February 24, 2006


Jesus, no one cares about your imagined, petty feuds orthoganality.

Am I the only one who thought this was pretty funny? In high school I went on a camping trip and some jerk teabagged me. Instead of crying and failing out of school, I chased him around and kicked him in the nuts. I guess the banana thing sets it apart, but getting teabagged is not a big deal.
posted by Falconetti at 12:27 AM on February 24, 2006


My advice: When presented, Bite down. Hold on. Mumble: "Where is your God now?"
posted by hal9k at 12:33 AM on February 24, 2006


If someone teabagged me I'd cave their head in with a hammer. But I have issues with personal space.
posted by exlotuseater at 12:50 AM on February 24, 2006


If I tell my mom I've been teabagged, the LAST thing I want to do is wind up on the news. Thanks a lot, mom.
posted by graventy at 1:22 AM on February 24, 2006


And if someone teabagged me, I'd probably suck them dry. But that's not the issue here.

Part of the trauma for the guy here would be the conflict between his desire for revenge and his rational wish to stay out of trouble/court/prison.
posted by Goofyy at 1:23 AM on February 24, 2006


In high school I went on a camping trip and some jerk teabagged me.

Scoutmaster?
posted by dgaicun at 1:29 AM on February 24, 2006


Alright, the more I think about this the less serious it seems. What is that thing on momma baggins' lip?
posted by dgaicun at 1:33 AM on February 24, 2006


It's an assault. It's an invasion and degredation of someone. This wasn't a friend tricking another friend - this was a violent and degrading sexual assault.

If this were a girl, no one would say otherwise. So why would anyone excuse it because he is male?
posted by jb at 2:09 AM on February 24, 2006


What is that thing on momma baggins' lip?
Bag End?
posted by hal9k at 2:11 AM on February 24, 2006


This is Metafilter?
posted by HuronBob at 2:21 AM on February 24, 2006


Teabagging evidentally means something very different in the states.

For us in this part of the UK certainly, teabagging is when you cover someone with snow (or rub their faces in snow).

So I was really quite shocked when I watched that video.
posted by 13twelve at 2:21 AM on February 24, 2006


13twelve: Perhaps that's a good addition to What Does That Mean?, from MeFiProjects.
posted by beerbajay at 2:34 AM on February 24, 2006


For us in this part of the UK certainly, teabagging is when you cover someone with snow (or rub their faces in snow).

Er, what?! I suspect that someone has been joking with you, 13twelve, and they are gleefully waiting for you to shout 'Hey gang! Let's teabag him!' in a snowy public place. (If not, for your own safety, please try to remember the usual definition of teabagging when in other parts of the UK. I dread to think what might happen if you innocently suggested teabagging a friend's child.)
posted by jack_mo at 3:09 AM on February 24, 2006


13twelve, certainly here (London), teabagging means the same thing as in the US...
posted by runkelfinker at 3:09 AM on February 24, 2006


13twelve: that's what Americans call 'washing face in snow'.
posted by Goofyy at 3:16 AM on February 24, 2006


Well this post is my first encounter of "tea-bagging" meaning anything other than dipping your sack in n' out of a lovaz mouth. Just putting your bits on someone's face needs another name entirely, IMO. I nominate 'ball bagging'.
posted by dgaicun at 3:23 AM on February 24, 2006


Jack_mo, runkelfinker, for once my sleepy insular valley isnt weirder than the rest of the world!

I'm serious - I was one of the small kids in school who the other kids would teabag when it snowed on the way too, while at or coming home from school. And teabagging was all about having snow in your face here.

Though I have just been talking to a mate of mine from the south of Manchester (I'm from north of it) and teabagging to him was about scrotums too; what I call teabagging he calls "christmas teabagging".

If I hadnt watched that video and if people here had not acknowledged this meaning of the word, I would have assumed such a thing was merely an urban myth like soggy biscuit or circle wanking.

I'm glad its something thats passed me by though...
posted by 13twelve at 3:29 AM on February 24, 2006


This post sucks, but juiceCake wins.
posted by pompomtom at 3:36 AM on February 24, 2006


It is abuse. Kids can be soooo mean.

This kind of locker room shit happens so often to people at that age -- it's very problematic -- but I don't think the answer is arresting every bastard bully who does it... and, of course, nobody wants to admit it happened. Punching the guy in the nuts would've been a good thing to do, if possible, but it wouldn't surprise me if others were holding him down.

I wish that those person responsible could be punished more severely. What would be the right punishment, though? Something horribly embarassing and traumatic. A forced medically monitored enema in front of everyone in the entire student body who dares to witness, perhaps, where the person punished is forced to stand upright with no chance for relief except by shitting themselves? (Sounds awful, sure, but it would be safer than my initial idea of using a broomstick.)

Yes, that may sound like cruel, disgusting, and inhumane punishment, but it would also fix the problem 99% of time without need for incarceration. Let the asshole responsible be treated like a leper for the remainder of their time in school.

I ain't falling for no banana in my tailpipe!
posted by insomnia_lj at 3:56 AM on February 24, 2006


you'll find like 10 videos of snortling adolescents ball bagging their sleeping friends. I did a lot of similar stuff in Jr. Highschool - I regret none of it, and at the time it was the funniest shit ever.

Where the fuck did you go to jr. high school? Remind me never to move there, that's just fucking perverted. I have been known to have a pretty bawdy sense of humor myself, from a pretty young age, but that is just fucking revolting.
posted by psmealey at 4:00 AM on February 24, 2006


(disclaimer: I don't think the whole situation is funny, but I had to find some humor since it is an internet video)

What?

Oh. Never mind.
posted by disclaimer at 4:46 AM on February 24, 2006


Someone trying to shove a banana in your ass against your will is kind of scary, and probably THAT'S the reason why he got all screwed up and whatnot.

Teabagging someone against their will is a juevenile rude prank. It seems the reason that the person does it is because they know it will upset person they are doing it to. Like freezing a bra, or farting in your hand and then holding it on the person's nose. Aside from strict legal definitions, it's not assault, it's not sexual, it's not abuse. It's just straight up retarded.
posted by 23skidoo at 4:57 AM on February 24, 2006


Mostly I agree, 23skid. But it's a lot about the attitude of those doing it. Laughing jockular fun is just fine. But if they're the sort of bullies that see that their current victim is freaked, so do it all the more cruelly, then they've crossed the line.
posted by Goofyy at 5:31 AM on February 24, 2006


dgaicun: What is that thing on momma baggins' lip?

Looks like a hemangioma.
posted by syzygy at 5:35 AM on February 24, 2006


Ha ha ha ha rape.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:30 AM on February 24, 2006


Wait a minute:

This kind of locker room shit happens so often to people at that age -- it's very problematic -- but I don't think the answer is arresting every bastard bully who does it... and, of course, nobody wants to admit it happened. Punching the guy in the nuts would've been a good thing to do, if possible, but it wouldn't surprise me if others were holding him down.

I wish that those person responsible could be punished more severely. What would be the right punishment, though? Something horribly embarrassing and traumatic. A forced medically monitored enema in front of everyone in the entire student body who dares to witness, perhaps, where the person punished is forced to stand upright with no chance for relief except by shitting themselves? (Sounds awful, sure, but it would be safer than my initial idea of using a broomstick.)

Yes, that may sound like cruel, disgusting, and inhumane punishment, but it would also fix the problem 99% of time without need for incarceration. Let the asshole responsible be treated like a leper for the remainder of their time in school.
- insomnia_lj

Is this serious? Am I dreaming? Did insomnia_lj really make this post? "Horribly embarrassing and traumatic" nude, semi-sexual public punishments? Suggestions of forced sodomy? The punishment, as abhorrent as it is, will solve the problem and is therefore worth it? Torture?

I either just fell for a subtle gag, or insomnia_lj is a hypocrite of the highest order.
posted by loquax at 6:50 AM on February 24, 2006


can't believe that the kid would agree to go on TV about this! I would imagine that the jocks who did it didn't think of it as too big a deal, and certainly didn't realise quite how sensitive the dude was. but yeah I have to admit watching the woman descibe what 'teabagging' is on TV to be funny. obviously it's not too funny how affected by it the kid is.
posted by 6am at 7:06 AM on February 24, 2006


Doesn't seem so funny. More like sexual assault.
posted by OmieWise at 7:13 AM on February 24, 2006


I thought the same thing, loquax. Maybe he's on the sauce.

I remember this kind of stuff from high school. Once, at a party, a few guys jumped a kid and anally assaulted him with a piece of toast. Think about that.
AND they filmed it.

Then they proceeded to film each other farting.

The thing is - young men of a certain age are apes. Of course, if this sort of thing happened to a young woman, it would be rape. No questions asked.

However - watch a group of young male chimps, and just see if this isn't the kind of crap that goes on.

He wanted to be 'cool'. So he paid the ultimate price. Banana in the butt.

Was it a fair trade?

You decide. Tonight at 11.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:17 AM on February 24, 2006


Hey. That was my school, my junior year. Never thought it would end up here. Kinda old news now.

My two cents:

The school got sued for an ungodly ammount of money during a shitty time for school funding.

The coach, who left the kids alone in their bunks just like every other coach who brought their team to camp, was put through hell. He was terribly nice guy. And that's coming from a artsy geek who had him for gym.

The kids who actually did this to him? I don't know. No one in town or the local press seemed to quick to go after them.

Maybe that boy was really scarred, but his parents sure tried to sue the school system for $3,000,000. Just saying.
posted by es_de_bah at 7:41 AM on February 24, 2006


Put me in the category that believes it's sexual assualt and the kids should be arrested. If the same thing happed on the NY subway, would you still say it's a silly prank? Exactly where do you draw the line? Or can kids under 18 humiliate and violate weaker kids how ever they want to? This isn't a kid who wanted to join a gang and had to endure initiation, it's just a kid who wanted to play high school sports.

I'm sure the kids who did it cared once their parent's found out they're being sued for a million bucks. Sure, I think the parent's of the victim are taking advantage of the situation, but the only justice they're likely to get is financial.
posted by Crash at 8:16 AM on February 24, 2006


Assault of any kind is not funny. I had shit like this happen to me as a kid. One time an older kid dragged me into the bogs and pissed in my face. Big yuks, that.

However, I found that clip funny. Perhaps I am simply a bad, bad person. Or perhaps I find absurdity funny no matter where it pops up.
posted by Decani at 8:36 AM on February 24, 2006


If this were a girl, no one would say otherwise. So why would anyone excuse it because he is male?

I think people would say otherwise if it were a girl, assuming she were being victimized by other girls. When the victim is a woman, anything even remotely sexual carries the assumption of sexual assault, but that's because the attacker is usually male.

This guy was attacked by other guys, and if a girl were attacked by other girls (the proper analogy), I'm not so sure I would think of it as sexual assault.

According to Wikipedia: Sexual assault is any undesired physical contact of a sexual nature perpetrated against another person.

Now, that's admittedly a vague definition, but I'm not sure whether or not these attacks were of a sexual nature. Does an attack become sexual just because sex organs are involved? If you get kicked in the balls, is that sexual assault? I doubt it. If you draw a penis on a sleeping guy's forehead with a Sharpie, is that sexual assault? I'm inclined to lump something like teabagging into that category (less so the banana thing) - horseplay that happened to involve some dude's ballsack.
posted by TunnelArmr at 9:03 AM on February 24, 2006


You could have posted this to Dag Maggots project, but i went ahead and did it for you to save you the trouble.

Also there people will have the opportunity to vote on it to determine if its really all that funny. Here people just curse you for lowering "the bar"
posted by sourbrew at 9:10 AM on February 24, 2006


Here's a link to it.

I didn't find it all that funny so you will notice the vote counter is at 0.
posted by sourbrew at 9:12 AM on February 24, 2006


Assault, sexual or otherwise, is not funny.

But the mother in the video seems to be viewing the whole thing as being about her, not her son. That may be part of the reason why people find her laughable.

She says, "I work my butt off for 15 years to keep my kids safe. I send one of them away for three nights, and look at what I get back -- I get back a totally different kid."

It's like she's pissed off that she loaned out a nice, expensive serving dish, and the person she loaned it to returned it with a crack in it, or tried to substitute an inferior dish.

She seems to feel personally cheated -- as if a possession of hers has been damaged or swapped. I don't see a whole lot of concern about the kid himself. In fact, she seems none too happy with her son, who is now "a totally different kid".
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 9:54 AM on February 24, 2006


This guy was attacked by other guys, and if a girl were attacked by other girls (the proper analogy), I'm not so sure I would think of it as sexual assault.

Hmmm? If a group of girls held another girl down and flopped out an old, used tampon on her face. Then, rolled her over and tried shove a cucumber in her ass... not sexual assualt?

She seems to feel personally cheated -- as if a possession of hers has been damaged or swapped.

As she should. The boy is HER child.

I don't see a whole lot of concern about the kid himself.

You watched a 90 second clip... primarily put together to get a chuckle out of "tea-bagging".
posted by Witty at 10:07 AM on February 24, 2006


I'd say this was sexual assault because the goons who did this clearly intended--as is intended with most such 'pranks'--to humiliate their victim through making him submit to what they would see as an essentially homosexual act. Homophobia strikes again.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 10:41 AM on February 24, 2006


Witty: "As she should. The boy is HER child."

You don't own your kids.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 10:47 AM on February 24, 2006


This has nothing to with homophobia.

You don't own your kids.

That's true, but you understand the point that I, and more importantly, the mother was trying to make. So I won't play word games or argue semantics with you about this. It's perfectly normal for a person to feel threatened or violated or assaulted or whatever, when a loved one, especially a child, is treated like this kid was.
posted by Witty at 10:53 AM on February 24, 2006


I ain't falling for no banana in my tailpipe!

You beat me.
posted by iamck at 10:59 AM on February 24, 2006


That being said, if you want to know how I really feel about it... when the kid is under 18, you DO "own" your children. Perhaps not in a legal sense... but that's just the conservative in me I guess.
posted by Witty at 10:59 AM on February 24, 2006


"You don't own your kids" No, but in some respects they are under your sphere of influence. Your role as a parent is to educate and protect. In other words, if some set of idiots abused my teen or pre-teen child there would be serious (and untelevised) hell to pay.

This did not belong on TV. I'm all for helping your children learn to personally deal with the bullies and idiots of the world. The parents should have handled this with a warrant for assault.

This wasn't one boy fighting with another. This was a group assault meant to humiliate and demean that young man. It is very animalistic behavior and shouldn't be condoned.

It certainly isn't humorous.

witty: I understand what you meant and it also comes from the liberal in me I guess.
posted by ?! at 11:05 AM on February 24, 2006


As an apologist for the BDSM community

Thanks, orthogonality, but the BDSM community isn't in need of any apologists. Apartheid, racism, international outsourcing... these things need apologists. BDSM doesn't.
posted by Clay201 at 11:20 AM on February 24, 2006


If sexual or physical assault happens, then it should be dealt with by the police. Even if it happens all the time, and everyone does it, and it was just in fun -- FUCK THIS SHIT!

Folks, assault is not funny. It is a crime. People who commit assault are guilty of a felony, and should suffer the consequences. The victim should receive all the help they need, and the criminal should have to pay for the therapy. And if a civil suit results as well, then get ready to pay.

Fucking idiots.
posted by mooncrow at 11:30 AM on February 24, 2006





Witty >>> "This has nothing to with homophobia.

It has everything to do with homophobia. These boys wouldn't choose to use what they would clearly view as homosexual acts to demean this poor kid if they didn't feel that such acts were inherently demeaning.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 11:47 AM on February 24, 2006


Hmmm? If a group of girls held another girl down and flopped out an old, used tampon on her face. Then, rolled her over and tried shove a cucumber in her ass... not sexual assualt?

The cucumber, sure, but maybe not the tampon. Just because it goes in a vagina makes it a sexual thing? I can't think of many things less sexual than a tampon. To me there has to be some sort of prurient intent for it to move from assault to sexual assault - a tampon is just gross in a non-sexual way in the same way that throwing a bloody bandage or a colostomy bag at someone would be.
posted by TunnelArmr at 11:49 AM on February 24, 2006


Violently shoving a banana in someone's ass that wants nothing to do with it isn't a characteristic of homosexuality. It's demeaning not matter how you put it together. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
posted by Witty at 11:50 AM on February 24, 2006


The cucumber, sure, but maybe not the tampon.

Fine... but don't get picky here. Girl-on-girl's-ass-with-vegetable is no less sexually assaulting than any guy-on-guy scenario you'd like to suggest. I was just trying to suggest a similar pattern of activity.
posted by Witty at 11:53 AM on February 24, 2006


Just for reference, the guys who were doing this did not succeed with the banana tactic.

Mother on video: "[teabagging] . . . then they rolled him over, pulled his pants down, and attempted to insert a banana in his rectum" (emphasis mine).

Apparently at that point someone decided the fun and games were over.
posted by booksandlibretti at 12:11 PM on February 24, 2006


I think there's a Morrissey song in here, somewhere.
posted by fandango_matt



BUWAHAHAHHAHAHA Holy crap!! You made water me spit water all over my desk with that one. Too funny
posted by a3matrix at 12:26 PM on February 24, 2006


So he paid the ultimate price. Banana in the butt.

I think that's what Matt is now requiring to get a Metafilter account.
posted by papakwanz at 12:38 PM on February 24, 2006


I dunno, Witty. I figured a conservative approach would be - "Heck, son. Learn to fight."

And it really was a product of anti-gay attitudes. Putting something into the anus of another male is seen as emasculating them - I think there's a strong connection between the way young conservatives feel about anal sex between men and their desire to assault another young man's anus.

I think we overuse homophobia though. Homophobia is an irrational fear of homosexuals. While it may feel empowering to 'us liberals' to claim that all gay-bashers are just afraid of gays - the truth is, I believe, much darker. Young men trying to prove their own masculinity to their fathers by vocally and physically assaulting those who are 'less masculine.' Sometimes - even - by putting bananas in their butts.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:01 PM on February 24, 2006


"Is this serious? Am I dreaming? Did insomnia_lj really make this post? "Horribly embarrassing and traumatic" nude, semi-sexual public punishments?"

Loquack, just so you get the distinction, there *IS*, infact, a difference between:

- an embarassing public punishment for someone convicted of a crime

... and

- the torture of someone who is not convicted of anything.

Personally, I'm not convinced that public punishment can't be effective sometimes. That said, I don't think anyone would argue tht having the police take care of matters is probably the best thing to do, even though that system is flawed in itself.

I just wish that when students were arrested for stupid -- and abusive -- pranks and decisions, that there was more of a public penalty involved that would teach other kids how serious it is.

That's one of the real problems with arresting people, in general. Out of sight, out of mind, and no lesson learned.
posted by insomnia_lj at 2:08 PM on February 24, 2006


Whatever insomniak. What I see is that you claim gross moral outrage with humiliating sexual torture in some cases, and in others you are an advocate of it on the grounds that it's effective. Justify your moral contradictions however you like, if it helps you sleep at night. Remind me never to get convicted of a crime in your whereabouts, I may just be the victim of a forced public enema at your hands.

I would also like to express the humour I find in your justification of what you described as your ideal punishment for the offenders in this case as "an embarrassing public punishment". Frat house pranksterism, anyone?
posted by loquax at 2:25 PM on February 24, 2006


Just me, but I got the strong feeling the banana thing was just meant to scare him for juvenile laughs. If more than two boys really wanted to sodomize him with a banana, they would have been able to do it. Again, I feel bad for this kid, but few things about this scenario appear remarkable in its general description.
posted by dgaicun at 2:34 PM on February 24, 2006


I think it was funny. But only because I want you guys to think I'm cool.
posted by evilcolonel at 6:09 PM on February 24, 2006


TunnelArmr wrote "I think people would say otherwise if it were a girl, assuming she were being victimized by other girls. ... This guy was attacked by other guys, and if a girl were attacked by other girls (the proper analogy), I'm not so sure I would think of it as sexual assault."

According to US federal law:
Sexual contact is the intentional touching, either directly or through the clothing, of the genitalia, anus, groin, breast, inner thigh, or buttocks of any person with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

A sexual act includes (C) the penetration, however slight, of the anal or genital opening of another by a hand or finger or by any object, with an intent to abuse, humiliate, harass, degrade, or arouse or gratify the sexual desire of any person.

These definitions acknowledge that unwanted contact is more about personal liberty than it is about sex.

dgaicun wrote "Just me, but I got the strong feeling the banana thing was just meant to scare him for juvenile laughs. If more than two boys really wanted to sodomize him with a banana, they would have been able to do it. Again, I feel bad for this kid, but few things about this scenario appear remarkable in its general description."

It's unclear what the abusers were trying to accomplish, but it certainly seems that their actions carried intent of one of the items listed above. "Boys Will Be Boys" is not a very modern way to make an argument for leniency, since it's fairly well accepted that such an environment is a driver of "rape-prone" societies. The very impact of this outlook is manifested in the boys' behavior -- they would have no inclination for such contact if it did not represent an encroachment of personal liberty. It's simply not reasonable to suggest that they were unaware of this aspect of their actions and it's irresponsible to not take this seriously, when such passiveness is a driver of a society that puts our loved ones at risk.
posted by VulcanMike at 6:26 PM on February 24, 2006


Hm. I view the you-tube as distinct from the act. The you-tube seems to be making light of the event, and depicting the boy and his mom in a ludicrous way.

Don't get me wrong-- tea bagging can be a lot of fun, but it can also be cruel. It all depends. Teabagging kids who are secure in their sexuality and social station could be very funny. Or it could be a nightmare. It depends. As a teenager, I had wet dreams about this, but I would have been devestated by the actual act. Did they realize I was gay? Do they hate me? Or is this just a really good way to get my rocks off?

This kind of bizarre interview seems to be an ironically similar to the assult itself: humiliating people and invading their privacy for fun.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to fantasize about a truly erotic and harmless tea-bagging incident.
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 7:02 PM on February 24, 2006


Hey, i didnt mean to offend anybody. But I just posted it because it was out of the ordinary. And "out of the ordinary" is why i come here.
posted by obeygiant at 11:47 PM on February 24, 2006


i don't know the entire context of this video and the story, of course, but on the surface i could see criticism of parents who would go on television with this kind of story...but really more on the basis that as bothered as i am by the fact the media mines us as a whole for any sellable human tragedy, i'm not especially fond of people who buy into it to the degree that they'll participate in serving it up...there's always the fallback 'i'll speak out so it doesn't happen to others thing,' but at the same time, i couldn't imagine being anything but freaked out were some element of my own personal tragedy thus exploited...really, how sick would you be to have your spouse's/child's diappearance/murder dramatically talked up by nancy grace (or countless others) for entertainment...

...i'm a bit more creeped out that this is supposed to be considered funny...whatever the exotic surrounding details, it's a display of suffering...is it just that it's tv-style format puts it at enough distance to inhibit some measure of empathy, or would the same people find it this funny were it to occur closer to home?
posted by troybob at 12:55 AM on February 25, 2006


So he paid the ultimate price. Banana in the butt.

posted by papakwanz I think that's what Matt is now requiring to get a Metafilter account.


That, and you have to be teabagged by quonsar.
posted by fandango_matt at 7:23 AM on February 25, 2006


I'm not sure how 'sexual' a banana in the ass is, since neither banana nor rectums are exactly sex organs

um... the people all over the world having buttsex right at this very moment might take issue with part of that.

i'm not being flippant. this kind of stuff irks me. saw some grafitti in a bathroom stall the other today: "when did a rectum acquire a clitoris?". as if sex and reproduction are the same thing? if butts have no place in sex, then neither do mouths, breasts, or condoms.

if someone held you down and shoved a banana in your ass, do you think you would walk away from the experience describing it as (a) silly (b) inconvenient or (c) really quite violating? tea-bagging is a gray area, but - especially given that this probably wouldn't have happened without some raging homophobia, which is also a sexual trip - the banana escalated it to sexual assault.

but the mom's an idiot and the report is exploitative - "behold the emasculated male." i really wonder if it would have turned in to this little sideshow dealie if it had been her daughter instead. i'd hope not, anyway.
posted by poweredbybeard at 11:34 PM on February 25, 2006


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