Pants.

March 3, 2006 8:18 AM

Please don't hurt 'em. Hammer got a weblog.
posted by The Jesse Helms (32 comments total)

hammer at google
posted by eddydamascene at 8:21 AM on March 3, 2006

I tried to follow the link, but for some reason I couldn't touch it.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:25 AM on March 3, 2006

2 Legit. 2 Legit to Repost. HAY HAAAAY!!

(Worth noting again IMO, because this post is way juicier than the original)

And his blog has matured!
posted by cavalier at 8:26 AM on March 3, 2006

FOB stole my comment!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 8:30 AM on March 3, 2006

Wait, who is Mc Hammer? Let me check wikipedia. Oh, I see you've saved me the trouble.
posted by 517 at 8:31 AM on March 3, 2006

Please, Kevin, don't hurt me.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:31 AM on March 3, 2006

517: "Wait, who is Mc Hammer? Let me check wikipedia. Oh, I see you've saved me the trouble."

What's a weblog? Ahh.. Wow, Jesse, thanks for the links!
posted by Plutor at 8:33 AM on March 3, 2006

I've been around the world, from London to Bombay, and... this is still shite.
posted by patricio at 8:37 AM on March 3, 2006

To speak of the actual blog....

Well, it's not bad. It doesn't seem geared towards advancing the artist's commercial interests. There's a clunky post about love that uses love, the word love, about a zillion times, but if you take the idea that this is an actual blog and not just a vehicle for marketing then that's a good thing. And there's something heartwarming about the kid pictures.

(Mind, I know almost nothing about MC Hammer that I didn't see on this blog.)
posted by JHarris at 8:37 AM on March 3, 2006

I don't have a weblog, so I guess I have to post things about a particular post within it. Yeah, I know it's a strange thing to do.

Maybe one day I'll get around to my metametafilter weblog.
posted by 517 at 8:39 AM on March 3, 2006

His his his Weblog is so hard
it makes me say, thank you lord.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:41 AM on March 3, 2006

What? No link to his cartoon show Hammerman?
posted by Fat Guy at 8:45 AM on March 3, 2006

Hammer's Humble Hummer.


Isn't this an automatic MeFil Disqualification? Let the excoriation begin!
posted by Fezboy! at 8:45 AM on March 3, 2006

I recommend checking out the post "History (I Won't Give Up)." In it, Hammer recounts a dream he had where he joins a police force "somewhere in the South" in 1968. A brief excerpt:

"I walked into the sheriff's office and immediately all eyes were on me. The room went silent and you could hear a rat pissin' on cotton. My dark chocolate skin and my bold jaw line complimented my broad nose and my full lips. I opened my mouth and simply said, "I'm here to apply for a job as an officer."
posted by hypocritical ross at 8:48 AM on March 3, 2006

My question is:

Will Shrub have a blog after he's done? Can you post to a blog from PMITA prison?
posted by jsavimbi at 8:49 AM on March 3, 2006

See Also: Maxwell's Silver Hammer
posted by blue_beetle at 8:59 AM on March 3, 2006

Please, Kevin, don't hurt me.

I can't touch you.

(there, I said it and now I'm happy)
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:09 AM on March 3, 2006

Your choice of words to link in this post is horrible. You link 'weblog', which by the phrasing of your post makes it seem like the intended weblog of one MC Hammer, to a freaking definition of a weblog, like MetaFilter needs one. You inexplicably link 'got' to a YouTube movie of MC Hammer, as if we need a refresher. There is no logic in the construction of this post. It is very bad and you should be ashamed. MC Hammer would not make a post like this. MC Hammer wouldn't even read it.

I say for shame, The Jesse Helms, for shame.
posted by xmutex at 9:11 AM on March 3, 2006

He got the nickname "Hammer" when he was a ball boy for the Oakland A's as a kid, because he looked like "Hammerin'" Hank Aaron.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:16 AM on March 3, 2006

One of the more bizarre moments in my life involved Hammer and Comdex. Back in 2001, our company had a pavillion where we diplayed our latest "Cool Shit Destined For A Landfill In Six Months." After closing up our booth for the evening, our group of four employees started making our way to the rear exit of the building. We had to pass a myriad of other companies' exhibits and exhange small talk with the employees. After being on my feet for six hours in full-on ass-kissing mode, I just wanted to get back to my hotel room and chill. As we walked past the XM-Satellite Radio pavillion, I saw a roped off area with some folding chairs. In one of the chairs was a black guy on a cell phone. One of my co-workers nudged me and said "Thats MC Hammer!" I walked slower and tried to get a bead on him. Sure enough it was him. No entourage, no clammoring public, no autograph hounds. Just Hammer on his cell phone, yakkin' it up with someone. I could have walked up to him and "touched this" with nary a bodyguard in sight but I didn't want to.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:20 AM on March 3, 2006

Martin Luther King:

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

M.C. Hammer:

I had a dream where I applied for a job as a cop in the South and you could hear a rat pissin' on cotton.

Hammer time!
posted by kirkaracha at 9:21 AM on March 3, 2006

IIRC Hammer got hammered becasue he went excessivly commercial
posted by edgeways at 9:25 AM on March 3, 2006

Obligatory:


posted by Peter H at 9:26 AM on March 3, 2006

I used to love his Sunday night televangelist/infomercials on BET.
Please Hammer, don't convert 'em.
posted by phirleh at 9:41 AM on March 3, 2006

Stop.

SpammerTime.
posted by joe lisboa at 9:47 AM on March 3, 2006

Most of the entries are just sampled from Rick James's and Prince's weblogs.
posted by brain_drain at 9:58 AM on March 3, 2006

brain_drain wins
posted by bashos_frog at 10:07 AM on March 3, 2006

Nice, brain_drain :)

It's really weird how his blog bobs between spirituality, music, and sports. One thing's for sure, though- he can type a lot on his Sidekick.
posted by mkultra at 10:33 AM on March 3, 2006

After seeing his vehicle, I thought "Please Hummer Don't Hurt em".
posted by mrbill at 10:43 AM on March 3, 2006

\Bookmarked for future example of double post.
posted by mischief at 12:37 PM on March 3, 2006

he was years ahead of his time with those pants
posted by petsounds at 1:31 PM on March 3, 2006

Damn, after reading his "History" dream sequence, I worry for his health...
posted by pwedza at 12:36 AM on March 4, 2006