This bike is a what?

March 3, 2006 11:00 AM

Sticker causes panic. This bike is a pipe bomb sticker causes Ohio University officials to call the bomb squad. Pic here.
posted by fixedgear (104 comments total)

Even more here.
posted by fixedgear at 11:01 AM on March 3, 2006

lol
posted by thirteenkiller at 11:03 AM on March 3, 2006

Those news stories could use a littlre more altiteration in their titles:

"Bike Band Bomb Blurb Blusters Boys in Blue"
posted by Potsy at 11:06 AM on March 3, 2006

Asshole is as asshole does.
posted by HTuttle at 11:08 AM on March 3, 2006

OMFG TERRAR TERRAR
*craps his pants*
posted by matteo at 11:09 AM on March 3, 2006

This comment is a pipe bomb.
posted by sonofsamiam at 11:09 AM on March 3, 2006

bingo.

and I bet that bikes owner is peeved.
posted by dabitch at 11:09 AM on March 3, 2006

*student reassembles bike using stickers*
posted by Cranberry at 11:10 AM on March 3, 2006

The team found no explosives, Hogan said, and the short, explosion-like sounds heard in the area were created not by a detonation but by a water device used to assess if the bike contained a bomb.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 11:10 AM on March 3, 2006

It's like the mods vs the rockers, only its the Ohio Law Enforcement versus some metal act from Florida.
posted by The Jesse Helms at 11:17 AM on March 3, 2006

Guess the carbomb terrorists are in a tight budget...
posted by qvantamon at 11:23 AM on March 3, 2006

Another fine testimonial to the intelligence and common sense of our elite law enforcement professionals. I feel so very safe knowing they are on duty.

Maybe the bike owner should register a complaint.
posted by QuestionableSwami at 11:24 AM on March 3, 2006

The bomb experts hit the bike with a high-pressure spray of water, then pried it apart with a hydraulic device normally used to rescue accident victims trapped in cars, acting Athens Fire Chief Ken Gilbraith said. Once they had it open, they saw there was no bomb.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

and I bet that bikes owner is peeved.

I hope not. I hope the city buys him a brand-new bike.

In all seriousness, I've often wondered what would happen in a law official saw a TBIAPB stick on a bike. I suppose my "Danger! Beware police!" sticker wouldn't have helped.

I'm extremely upset because I walked to class, and it was canceled," Vari said.

Ah, people.

The university updated its emergency response procedures after Sept. 11 and followed those procedures yesterday, Hogan said. He emphasized the situation could have been avoided with better judgment, and encouraged student fans of the punk rock band to think carefully about the ways they show their support.

OMFLMAO.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:29 AM on March 3, 2006

Reminded me of this:

A passenger toting an Xbox 360 in a carry-on case sparked a terror alert at MacArthur Airport on Long Island yesterday, forcing a terminal to be evacuated. Officials say the Chicago-bound flier, worried that his game console might be swiped if he checked it, instead put it in a metal case that he carried through security checkpoints.

At 12:15 p.m., the container passed through an X-ray machine, and screeners thought it might have held a bomb.

"The package looked to be suspicious with wires running through it," said airport spokeswoman Michele Remsen. Officials evacuated the west wing and called in the bomb squad. Officers examined the case and deemed it harmless.

Airport worker Kimberley Edwards, 17, who'd been on the job for just three days, said the incident was "frightening."

"Of course I thought it was a terrorist threat,"she said.
posted by Otis at 11:29 AM on March 3, 2006

also seriously, how much damage could a bike disguised as a bomb do? I suppose if the frame were stuffed with nails and the like, but then wouldn't it be really heavy? how clueless are our police?
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on March 3, 2006

"Of course I thought it was a terrorist threat,"she said.

Of course.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:30 AM on March 3, 2006

The bike wasn't some kind of dynamite hack planted by killers intent on leaving a trail of dead? So the police's information was crap?
posted by justkevin at 11:35 AM on March 3, 2006

I doubt he'll get a new bike, but he is being charged with a misdemeanor for "inducing panic".
posted by bcveen at 11:38 AM on March 3, 2006

As a resident of Athens, Ohio, I have only one thing to say :

It's Bush's fault!
posted by newfers at 11:38 AM on March 3, 2006

"I hope whoever did it realizes how much they've inconvenienced everyone, and it's not something to be taken lightly."

She added that she wasn't worried about the situation because the police "know what they're doing." -- Ph.D candidate and English teacher Melissa Albornoz.

Heehee. It's funny because it's stupid.

Ohio is the new Florida.
posted by Skwirl at 11:43 AM on March 3, 2006

Heh, I carried video game systems on airplanes all the time when I was a kid visiting my dad for the summers.

Since 9/12 more property has been destroyed in fear of bombs and terrorism then has been destroyed by bombs or terrorism.

The risk of terrorism in everyday life is negligible, so people should approach any potentially terrorist situation as very unlikely, unless they work very high-risk areas.
posted by delmoi at 11:43 AM on March 3, 2006

Terrorists aren't going to label them, but bicycle bombs are no joke. I doubt if the responding bomb squad thought it was very funny.
posted by cenoxo at 11:49 AM on March 3, 2006

Imagine if the bike was a pipe bomb and went off. People would say, "Stupid fucking cops, there was a sticker on the bike that said it was a pipe bomb!'
posted by Fat Guy at 11:51 AM on March 3, 2006

The bomb experts hit the bike with a high-pressure spray of water, then pried it apart with a hydraulic device normally used to rescue accident victims trapped in cars

come on! doesn't everyone know you should never spray water at a bicycle... why isn't this common knowledge? ruins the bearings...
posted by RockyChrysler at 11:54 AM on March 3, 2006

If I was going to school there, I'd be printing up "PIPE BOMB INSIDE!" stickers and plastering them all over campus. And I'd be sure to stick one on that cop's car. Fucking idiot cops.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:54 AM on March 3, 2006

Barney Fife would be proud were he still alive.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 11:59 AM on March 3, 2006

Ceci n'est pas une bomb?
posted by eritain at 12:02 PM on March 3, 2006

Guess the carbomb terrorists are in a tight budget...

or they're environmentalists. damn terrarist Greens!
posted by matteo at 12:03 PM on March 3, 2006

That band sucks.
posted by youarenothere at 12:08 PM on March 3, 2006

Fuck, this country has become one big nervous granny of a nation. Fucking embarrassing.
As if the tur-rists are going to label their munitions. "This milk carton is a pocket nuke"
posted by Thorzdad at 12:10 PM on March 3, 2006

This chair is a pipe bomb.
posted by Sprout the Vulgarian at 12:17 PM on March 3, 2006

TBIAPB does not suck. They are not punk, though. More like alternative country/bluegrass. There's a harmonica, for jeebus sake.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:19 PM on March 3, 2006

they're anti-folk!
posted by mcsweetie at 12:24 PM on March 3, 2006

Terrorists aren't going to label them, but bicycle bombs are no joke.

From your (fucking Google) link:

"A bomb strapped to a bicycle exploded Friday ..."

"More than a dozen people, most of them children aged under fifteen, were killed yesterday when a bomb on a bicycle ..."

"On Saturday at least 15 people were wounded after a bomb attached to a bicycle exploded ..."

All of the cases I found involved bikes that were attached or strapped to bicyces, not built inside of the frame. I call SHENANIGANS on cenoxo.

I doubt he'll get a new bike, but he is being charged with a misdemeanor for "inducing panic".

Now that's fucked up shit.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:29 PM on March 3, 2006

That reminds me - I need to put more air in the tires of my emissions-free dirty pipe bomb. Studded winter tires make great shrapnel.
posted by isopraxis at 12:30 PM on March 3, 2006

*bombs* attached or strapped to bicycles. sorry.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:30 PM on March 3, 2006

Update: The grad student who owned the bike is being charged with "inducing panic" and could face up to 6 months.
posted by redshifter at 12:35 PM on March 3, 2006

This reminds me of the band I was going to start called "I'm Wearing A Suicide Bomb Vest, Really I Am, This Is Not a Joke, and You'll Have to Shoot Me or I'll Detonate It, Seriously, Back Off Man."
posted by dhartung at 12:35 PM on March 3, 2006

"inducing panic"

i.e. embarrassing the faculty.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:40 PM on March 3, 2006

My reaction to this story and the follow-up material, unabridged:

*sigh*
posted by S.C. at 12:46 PM on March 3, 2006

I blame the pigs for not keeping up on the latest anti-folk. I mean seriously - who HASN'T heard the TBIAPB/The Devil Is Electric split 7"?
posted by hypocritical ross at 12:46 PM on March 3, 2006

Well he wanted attention...
posted by ozomatli at 12:48 PM on March 3, 2006

Jesus.

Glad that the only sticker on my bike is the registration sticker. I'd be right pissed if someone pried it apart. I would sort of feel like an ass for having labeled it as a pipe bomb, though. I mean, sure, the terrorists aren't going to put warning labels on things, but still. If you wear a T-shirt that says "I'm going to kill the President", the Secret Service are going to shoot you first and ask you if it was the name of a band after you're bleeding and in handcuffs.

My brother made some pipe bombs once. He took pictures of himself blowing up mailboxes. Turns out if you take pictures of yourself committing the felony you're pretty much screwed when the cop finds the photos. (Damn glad for his sake that this was in 1992 and not ten years later... but he's probably still on some FBI watchlist or other.)
posted by caution live frogs at 12:49 PM on March 3, 2006

*yells fire in the street outside crowded theatre*
posted by eustatic at 12:51 PM on March 3, 2006

if you look carefully, Mohammed Atta was wearing a "THIS MAN IS A SUICIDE HIJACKER" sticker on his shirt pocket


posted by matteo at 12:57 PM on March 3, 2006

Yes, rebellion and acts of non-conformity should continue to remain within the socially acceptable parameters, kids. I know, man, you cats think you’re ‘hep.’ But let me tell you, brother, you ain’t. It ain’t cool to take marijuana cigarettes, pal. And that’s just where this kind of thinking comes from mister: goofballs and reefer.
You might think you’re upsetting “the Man” by putting this kind of sticker on your bike. But what about that kid out there, yeah, that kid that might think it’s for real and runs into traffic trying to get away. Or what about the kid that looks up to you and tries to make a real pipe bomb out of his bike and he’s riding it around all the other kids in the schoolyard then - BLAMMO!
...where’s all your big talk then, smart guy?
--------
I like wearing my “Suicide Bomb Vest” t-shirt when I ride my bike, so the cops think I’m wearing a suicide bomb vest. And I get chicks like you wouldn’t believe.

Also, my bike kills fascists.
...that’s not a sticker or anything.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:58 PM on March 3, 2006

I dunno. What if I placed a box in a public space with a note attached to it saying "this box contains a bomb"? Free speech? Terroristic threat? "Inducing a panic"?

Calling in a false bomb threat is certainly not protected speech; this seems like it might be close to that. Kind of a grey area, maybe.

caution live frogs writes "I mean, sure, the terrorists aren't going to put warning labels on things, but still."

I'm not sure this is a good assumption. Bomb threats are not uncommon, and labeling an object as a bomb seems substantially similar to a bomb threat.
posted by mr_roboto at 1:04 PM on March 3, 2006

I agree with matteo. Is there any documented case in which an object blatantly labeled as a bomb was actually a bomb?
posted by deusdiabolus at 1:07 PM on March 3, 2006

deusdiabolus: You haven't seen many Roadrunner cartoons, have you?
posted by qvantamon at 1:15 PM on March 3, 2006

Is there any documented case in which an object blatantly labeled as a bomb was actually a bomb?

Do cartoons count?
posted by fixedgear at 1:15 PM on March 3, 2006

That's a tie.
posted by fixedgear at 1:16 PM on March 3, 2006

I have this same sticker on my fixed gear bike. It's quite popular with the San Francisco bike messenger community (I got the sticker a few years ago when TBIAPB played a couple of free shows outside a BART station). The thing is, it's clearly a statement about the homemade, raw nature of my bike. No brakes, no coasting, one gear, no helmet. I wouldn't put it on my Cannondale road bike, but it suits my fixie extremely well cause its all grunge and battered and built like a tank. It's a statement of pride and gets a lot of thumbs up and other nice comments. It's like a punk rocker sporting badges and crap all over a torn up coat. It's part of a CULTURE the rent-a-cop who freaked out over it ought to be familiar with working on a college campus.
posted by piedrasyluz at 1:21 PM on March 3, 2006

Hey - what about “This bike ISN’T a pipe bomb” - huh? Huh?
Yeah.
Also, what if each atom in the universe was a tiny little universe, and so on.
‘Cause y’know how some atoms look like a planet going around a sun?
That could be like, a whole other solar system universe galaxy, man.

Heh heh. “This bike is not a pipe bomb”
Yeah, that would really fuck with their heads. ‘Cause what are they going to do? ‘Cause it says right on there - NOT a pipe bomb. But you know they’re thinking that maybe it is, because it says it’s not.

Man, I’m just way ahead over here.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:24 PM on March 3, 2006

No offense to bike mod folks. I wish that was around when I was a kid.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:25 PM on March 3, 2006

Anyone remember Negativland's album 'Escape from Noise' (1987)? The vinyl version came with a free bumper-sticker that read "Car Bomb". (Actually the stickers are still available here). It caused absolutely no controversy, but then of course it was the mid-80s and nobody was setting off car bombs anywhere except Spain, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka, Syria, Australia, Germany, Pakistan, Lebanon, Iran...
posted by Hogshead at 1:26 PM on March 3, 2006

I should also add that the band is really really awful, and their stickers are far more popular than their music. But the people in the band didn't seem to really be striving for anything more than what they are, so I didn't mind so much. But I think it is safe to say that a band known primarily for the cool stickers it gives out at shows is, ummm, well...let's just say they were very dirty, and mostly were playing for burrito money, competing for an audience with Guatemalan Pentecostal street preachers outside the 16th and Mission BART station. But don't get me wrong - I love street performers...
posted by piedrasyluz at 1:39 PM on March 3, 2006

this is just pathetic now...how dumb are they, and how much do they really want to stop anything that they decide is dissent? and if they're just trying to scare people, that's not enough.
posted by amberglow at 1:52 PM on March 3, 2006

posted by Armitage Shanks at 1:59 PM on March 3, 2006

Fuck, this country has become one big nervous granny of a nation. Fucking embarrassing.
As if the tur-rists are going to label their munitions. "This milk carton is a pocket nuke"

Hey, come on! Product liability lawsuits are no laughing matter. You gotta have product safety labels.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:07 PM on March 3, 2006

then pried it apart with a hydraulic device normally used to rescue accident victims trapped in cars

Is it wise to use the Jaws of Life on explosives?

Methinks they fucked the bicycle over just to prove a point, and are charging the kid for the same reason.
posted by five fresh fish at 2:10 PM on March 3, 2006

mrgrimm said: All of the cases I found involved bikes that were attached or strapped to bicyces, not built inside of the frame. I call SHENANIGANS on cenoxo.

A tubular metal bicycle frame packed with explosives would be as lethal as a hand grenade. A modified Google search gives several results, including this:

...a Philippine marine died and 19 others were wounded when explosives packed inside a bicycle frame detonated outside a Roman Catholic shrine.

Here's a picture and more details. Explosives have also been concealed in a bicycle's seat.
posted by cenoxo at 2:10 PM on March 3, 2006

Is there any documented case in which an object blatantly labeled as a bomb was actually a bomb?
Two weeks ago in Spain.
"...the rucksack had been left in the doorway of a can manufacturing company and clearly bore the words "Danger bomb" on it."
posted by radiobishop at 2:14 PM on March 3, 2006

Meanwhile, Chicago band The Bomb were forced to break up when lead singer Jeff Pezzati was blown up by the Milwaukee, WI bomb squad after he exclaimed "we're the bomb!"
posted by DieHipsterDie at 2:15 PM on March 3, 2006

Because, obviously, pipe bombs are always labeled as such.
posted by easternblot at 2:15 PM on March 3, 2006

No brakes, no coasting, one gear, no helmet.

Dude, I'm down for the cause. But honestly, there's nothing Punk Rock about not wearing a helmet. It's just Dumb Ass.
posted by freebird at 2:15 PM on March 3, 2006

It's cool to not care about your health!
posted by DieHipsterDie at 2:20 PM on March 3, 2006

Meanwhile, Chicago band The Bomb were forced to break up when lead singer Jeff Pezzati was blown up by the Milwaukee, WI bomb squad after he exclaimed "we're the bomb!"
posted by DieHipsterDie at 4:15 PM CST on March 3 [!]

Similarly, recent shows by Wilco and The Electric Six have been disrupted by jumpy bomb squads after their respective lead singers made the mistake of singing the lines "I'm a bomb regardless" and "3,2,1, I'm the bomb."

E-6's Dick Valentine has also been placed under arrest and extradited to the Hague to stand trial for War Crimes after admitting that he "dropped the bomb on Japan."
posted by COBRA! at 2:22 PM on March 3, 2006

(oops--ignore that--i thought this was a different sticker story )
posted by amberglow at 2:24 PM on March 3, 2006

People do a lot of stupid things they should know better not to do. Many of them make a lot of money doing it. I don't do it because I want to be cool or because I want to make money, rather because it feels so much better than riding a regular bike whilst helmeted. There really is something Zen in the practice of riding a fixed gear bike, and in a hectic, aggressive urban setting that's nothing less than a miracle to me. Risk my like for small daily miracles? Choose life, you say? I'll choose a life full of small daily miracles over a life shackled by caution any day.
posted by piedrasyluz at 2:29 PM on March 3, 2006

I feel you Piedra, I really do. If wearing a helmet is "shackling your life", then be damned to the consequences of those around you I guess. I choose a long life of small daily miracles where I don't mess anyone else's life up.

But I didn't wear a helmet until I saw someone get hit either.
posted by freebird at 2:34 PM on March 3, 2006

Free, I think everyone should wear a helmet. I really do. But I'm conflicted. I've been hit while riding with a helmet a half dozen times, and I still do wear a helmet when I ride with my club, and when I am out of the city (lots of windy, steep hills, and speeding drivers). An interesting thing happened when I took the helmet off though - I became instantly more aware of the world around me, cars, people, traffic lights, buses, anticipating how long it will take me to slow down because of the fixed gear. It has actually made me a much more cautious and aware rider, by necessity. So there is a safety benefit. You ride smarter. I would also posit that most helmets available out there aren't going to do much when going up against a speeding SUV. A motorcycle helmet might help, but not a bike helmet.
posted by piedrasyluz at 2:46 PM on March 3, 2006

How about "I certainly don't think this bike is a bomb, but if you are concerned that it is actually a bomb, please contact me at this telephone number: xxx.xxx.xxxx. Incidentally, look over there at that garbage can. No, over THERE. Yes, that one. It doesn't have a sticker on it saying it isn't a bomb -- are you sure it ISN'T? Also, it does not have a phone number to call and check. Yes, yes, that garbage can is much more suspicious than this bike."

It would be in a very small font.
posted by davejay at 2:58 PM on March 3, 2006

piedrasyluz, you've nailed the dilemma: the very thing you use to protect yourself from things you cannot control makes it harder to avoid the things you can control. And your comment about the resulting safety benefit is dead-on: the safety device helps protect you from things you cannot control, and forces you to be more careful in general to make up for the reduction in capability that the safety device imposes.

This happened to me the first time I hit the racetrack in my car; I drove much worse than I do on the street at first, because driving in a closed-cockpit car with a closed-face helmet on keeps you from hearing sounds and using all of your peripheral vision. Also from moving your head quickly. Consequently, I drove with even more caution on the racetrack than I do on the street, and I'm hardly a reckless driver.
posted by davejay at 3:01 PM on March 3, 2006

I would also posit that most helmets available out there aren't going to do much when going up against a speeding SUV.

I know you've been hit by cars as well, but as someone who was T-boned, tossed up in the air and landed on my head, I'll vote for helmets. Honestly, I was biking safely and even checking for red-light runners. He came from a spot behind the line of sight of another car already stopped at a light and ran the red very late.

There are helmets you can use that minimize the loss of sound, vision range, etc. They're worth it. My2c.

I will say that I lost hearing in my left ear temporarily, and I quite enjoyed it while biking in the city.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:38 PM on March 3, 2006

I wonder what would happen if someone went about wearing a t-shirt bearing the slogan 'I Am A Terrorist'?
posted by Blue Stone at 3:51 PM on March 3, 2006

TBDBITL
posted by rxreed at 3:56 PM on March 3, 2006

There's gotta be some sort of precedent for this, no? IANAL (obviously). Is anyone familiar with other cases like this?
posted by mrgrimm at 4:07 PM on March 3, 2006

the very thing you use to protect yourself from things you cannot control makes it harder to avoid the things you can control

Said by someone who hasn't worn a modern bicycle helmet.

They don't cover your ears. They don't block your vision. They do not impede you from being wholly aware of your environment.
posted by five fresh fish at 4:15 PM on March 3, 2006

They blew up the guys bike with a high powered water gun and cut it open with the jaws of life. Then, rather than admit their mistake and replace the guys ride, they want to charge him with a crime. Isn't this just like the guy with the "Suspected Terrorist" button? The pigs overreact and then blame their victims? Its enough to make me want to blow something up!! (metaphorically speaking Mr. Gonzales sir)
posted by Megafly at 4:26 PM on March 3, 2006

I assume the owner was wearing this jacket ...
posted by bhance at 4:40 PM on March 3, 2006

All I want to know is whether this is more or less worrisome than the Austrians tossing an asshat in jail for being a neo-nazi pinhead.

Freedom's on the march in the USA!
posted by five fresh fish at 4:42 PM on March 3, 2006

I wonder what would happen if someone went about wearing a t-shirt bearing the slogan 'I Am A Terrorist'?

I think a more applicable analogy would be a T-Shirt that says "I have a bomb" - what then? Curious.
posted by mrgrimm at 4:44 PM on March 3, 2006

What would the cops have done if the sticker hadn read "My Other Bike Is A Pipe Bomb"? Would they have asked for a search warrant to ransack his apartment?
posted by piedrasyluz at 5:48 PM on March 3, 2006

hogshead's sticker link leads to no tbiapb stickers... anyone else got a good sticker link for these?
posted by RockyChrysler at 6:43 PM on March 3, 2006

TBDBITL

This Bikebomb Didn't Blow Its Tempting Load...?
posted by cog_nate at 6:46 PM on March 3, 2006

piedrasyluz, please wear a helmet. Really. Like five fresh fish said, they're made to wear comfortably, they're light, they don't obstruct your view... and, they'll keep you from having to re-learn how to speak if you get into a catastrophic collision.
posted by cog_nate at 6:55 PM on March 3, 2006

mrgrimm writes "also seriously, how much damage could a bike disguised as a bomb do? I suppose if the frame were stuffed with nails and the like, but then wouldn't it be really heavy?"

1) your assuming compenent criminals.
2) stuff a bike frame full of black powder, tightly cap the down tube and set it off in a crowded location and you'd probably injure a few people. Won't be a good as a black iron pipe bomb because the casing wouldn't be a strong but serious injury would probably be inflicted on someone standing next to it.
posted by Mitheral at 6:58 PM on March 3, 2006

I dare y'all to get THIS IS NOT A BOMB! stickers printed up, to be stickered on... well, most everything, really.

I daresay you could make a city go completely apeshit over it.

And it would have the benefit of being both in very bad taste and very free speech. That's all the rage these days!
posted by five fresh fish at 7:38 PM on March 3, 2006

Here's a link to a thread started on the Plan-It-X messageboard by the kid who owned the bike, if anyone's interested. Also, I'm pretty sure this isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened.

I'd also like to add that this is the second Plan-it-X records related post I've made on the blue.
posted by Lusy P Hur at 8:02 PM on March 3, 2006

a thread started on the Plan-It-X messageboard by the kid who owned the bike

I don't think it is. She just went to the same school.
posted by cillit bang at 8:30 PM on March 3, 2006

Rene Magritte's This Is Not A Pipe. What do I win?
posted by intermod at 10:44 PM on March 3, 2006

I can't believe you guys are ragging on Piedra for not wearing a helmet when he's riding a fixed-gear bike in SF. Get some brakes dude, that shit's hilly! And won't you think of your knees? Head protection is the least of his worries.

Topic? I think that everyone with a TBIAPB sticker on their bike should take a picture and send it to the judge presiding over this case explaining why they have affixed said sticker to their bike. A couple thousand letters ought to do it. And whoever was in charge of security should be fired for being a total dumbass.
posted by fshgrl at 11:25 PM on March 3, 2006

posted by dabitch at 1:39 AM on March 4, 2006

I'd also like to add that this is the second Plan-it-X records related post I've made on the blue.

I thought I started this thread. WTF?
posted by fixedgear at 3:03 AM on March 4, 2006

The "cyclist" should be jailed for a week. This is yet another example of someone thinking its cool to do things without limits; to have no concern for the community's rights "because its a free country." This is like shouting "fire!" in a crowded theatre. Grow the F' up.
posted by ParisParamus at 8:40 AM on March 4, 2006

cyclehelmets.org
posted by normy at 8:51 AM on March 4, 2006

PP, the frigging sticker is the name of a BAND. Jailed for a week? On what grounds? First, you'd have to prove that the cyclist had some sort of intent to scare people, which in this case is absurd. That sticker has likely been on his bike for a good while, and the majority of people who saw it, interpreted it the way it was meant to be interpreted. It simply took a moron campus policeman to read malice into it. And you won't even be able to prove recklessness, or even negligence...all the bike owner will have to show is that the sticker had been on his bike for weeks without any kind of reaction at all, thus proving that most reasonable people would not have interpreted the sticker literally. It's obvious that it's just a play on words...I'd hate to live in your world PP.
posted by piedrasyluz at 9:38 AM on March 4, 2006

mrgrimm wrote:
"also seriously, how much damage could a bike disguised as a bomb do? I suppose if the frame were stuffed with nails and the like, but then wouldn't it be really heavy?"

It would depend on the skill of the builder and the resources available to them. Pouring in gunpowder or blackpowder would break things and hurt people, maybe kill one or two.

A more serious device could be made by melting TNT and pouring it into pre drilled holes in all the tubes. You would need to add multiple detonators, but you could probably do that inconspiciously.

For enhanced anti-personnel effects you could probably add in napalm without much trouble.

An advanced bomb builder would construct their own frame out of big steel tubing and let the steel serve for shrapnel. You'd then paint it to look like nothing special. The weight of the bike would go way up, but so what? You only need to ride or roll it once to get it into position.

All in all, I'd say it's possible enough that the authorities couldn't ignore it. A grenade has about the volume of a baseball. A bike has about the volume of ten or twenty baseballs. Which of the devices listed above would you want to be near if it went off?
posted by Ken McE at 2:26 PM on March 4, 2006

"iedrasyluz. I was somewhat exaggerating; the prison sentence might be over-the-top, but I have no sympathy for the bike being destroyed. it's not even that I would destroy the bike if I came across it; it's that a person/law enforcement officer, within the ballpark called Reasonable, could have. It's just reasonable to err on the side of caution.
posted by ParisParamus at 2:44 PM on March 4, 2006

pouring it into pre drilled holes in all the tubes

Tubes already have holes. Otherwise when you were welding it, the trapped gases would, expanding with heat, cause the bike to ... explode, like a pipe bomb.

Pull your headset, seat, and bottom bracket: you'll discover there are holes where the tubes intersect.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:07 PM on March 4, 2006

I still don't understand why they went at it with the Jaws of Life. Seems to me that would be an excellent means of accidently setting the bomb off.

Methinks they were, by that point, punishing the cyclist.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:08 PM on March 4, 2006

Stupid, stupid biker.
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:03 PM on March 4, 2006

fff said: ...why they went at it with the Jaws of Life. Seems to me that would be an excellent means of accidently setting the bomb off.

It was probably the best tool for the job. Why take the risk and time to disassemble the bike with normal hand tools? Not knowing what they were working with, the bomb squad reasonably suspected that explosives were stuffed into the bike frame.

The Jaws of Life are hydraulically-operated cutters connected by hoses to a remote power unit. An operator can pre-position them around an object, then step back to a safer distance. The jaws would slowly scissor (or spread) the frame open without any sparks.
posted by cenoxo at 7:31 PM on March 4, 2006

Imagine if the bike was a pipe bomb and went off. People would say, "Stupid fucking cops, there was a sticker on the bike that said it was a pipe bomb!'

After that, let's imagine it was a peanut butter jelly sandwich. Then we can imagine unicorns.
posted by wakko at 2:56 AM on March 5, 2006