Comments on: X-rated basketball?

X-rated basketball?

nospecialfx — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 11:54:40 -0800

X-rated basketball? The editor of the Bryan-College Station paper says it ain't so. But to many, the picture of a basketball player in their sports section looks like he's exposing himself. At least they sold all their papers.

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 11:56:33 -0800

Heh. Weinis.

By: everichon

everichon — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 11:57:24 -0800

Oh, I see: Flash friday.

By: yodelingisfun

yodelingisfun — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 11:58:56 -0800

dang...

By: digaman

digaman — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:00:23 -0800

It's twue, it's twue.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:00:37 -0800

not a penis.

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:01:40 -0800

By: Dipsomaniac

Dipsomaniac — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:01:42 -0800

"Honey, I am not from Havana!"

By: public

public — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:06:26 -0800

Fark.

By: hototogisu

hototogisu — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:09:43 -0800

hahaha...

By: davelog

davelog — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:10:31 -0800

I don't think it's a wang - I think it's a lamprey.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:10:33 -0800

how is that a color corrected band from the guy's shorts? I mean, it's not a penis, but it certainly looks like something non-fabric.

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:12:44 -0800

Damn, looks like Matt took my link down just that fast but allowed that tired Dick Chaney shot to stay.

By: Tablecrumbs

Tablecrumbs — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:13:39 -0800

I just feel really sorry for the guy.

By: hototogisu

hototogisu — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:13:41 -0800

fixedgear: it was a "fuck you hotlinkers" message.

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:16:38 -0800

Thanks, hototogisu, looked fine on preview. I put it on my flickr page.

By: ereshkigal45

ereshkigal45 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:18:14 -0800

Oh, for fuck's sake. I had totally forgotten about that Cheney picture, and now I'm blind again.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:19:20 -0800

The paper should put the high-resolution detail on the web somewhere.

By: sellout

sellout — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:19:49 -0800

mathowie: It's the front inside lining of his shorts, which is white. Looks like the light catches the front inside differently from the back inside, making it look like there are two different colors there. Pretty weird illusion.

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:20:13 -0800

Is Cheney excited about the kid, the waiter, or the food?

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:20:14 -0800

I was just staring at that guy's impossibly huge floppy wang when, Magic Eye-like, I realized how it could just be very discolored fabric. I am more willing to believe that than to think it's just very discolored skin.

By: sfts2

sfts2 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:20:46 -0800

Texas. Surprise.

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:21:01 -0800

BTW, a flaccid schlong is R-rated in most contexts, no?

By: rosemere

rosemere — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:21:45 -0800

What black guy would ever be that Crayola "flesh" colour? Or is this a spare he has growing out of his right thigh?

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:21:50 -0800

As for the basketball link, it's definitely not a penis. He's got black athletic spandex on underneath his shorts.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:22:26 -0800

You can see that the guy's wearing black workout shorts beneath his uni. But damn if that doesn't look like King Dong.

By: hototogisu

hototogisu — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:24:26 -0800

It's a soft pack, isn't it?

By: docpops

docpops — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:24:27 -0800

I'm a doctor. That is a penis. EOM.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:26:17 -0800

It's a magic johnson.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:27:31 -0800

mathowie writes "how is that a color corrected band from the guy's shorts?" I'm not sure, but compare the color of the "object" to the color of the text on his uniform. It's the same, which implies that the object would be white pre-correction or in the proper light...

By: Guy Smiley

Guy Smiley — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:27:34 -0800

Look at the player's thigh - he's wearing something underneath his shorts. As commenter Nick Kramer at that Deadspin link points out, "Either he's wearing a pair of compression shorts with a hole in the middle, or that really is an optical illusion."

By: dhartung

dhartung — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:30:34 -0800

By: chaz

chaz — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:33:32 -0800

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:34:18 -0800

What's funniest to me is that none of the stories actually use the word "penis." Now that's fucked up. My vote is not a penis, but I wouldn't be that surprised if it were. Now for the judgment of the photo editor who ran it ... that's ridiculous.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:34:57 -0800

I love the green guy in that picture. He's from the future.

By: matteo

matteo — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:35:31 -0800

It's the front inside lining of his shorts, which is white. Looks like the light catches the front inside differently from the back inside, making it look like there are two different colors there. I agree

By: Gamblor

Gamblor — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:38:13 -0800

Excuse me while I whip this out...

By: dios

dios — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:42:34 -0800

Yeah, its pretty clear what it is. The outside of the shorts are that ugly burnt orange of UT. The inside of the shorts are a whiteish uncolored material. From the inside, if the light is outside, the color looks that flesh color (lit burnt orange being viewed through white material). There is an additional white trip around the bottom. But what we are seeing is a glimpse inside his shorts and seeing the burnt orange through the white inside. Talk about a tempest in a teapot.

By: rosemere

rosemere — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:43:05 -0800

*shuns chaz*

By: PurplePorpoise

PurplePorpoise — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:43:07 -0800

Cheney's package? Probably a Foley Catheter.

By: iconomy

iconomy — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:49:07 -0800

I found this photo, which shows that the lining, while white, takes on a peachy cast when it's in the shadow. I think it's just bad lighting and bad judgement (on the part of the editor). I'm on Team Lining. Who's on Team Penis?

By: docpops

docpops — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:50:15 -0800

If you enlarge the image it's painfully clear that some sort of 'appendage' is protruding from beneath his shorts and lifting the fabric. If not a penis, then what? This, perhaps? (very nsfw)

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:53:25 -0800

It seems very obvious that it's merely a trick of the light. However, that won't stop me from forwarding this picture to everyone I know and pretending that it's a penis. That's how I roll.

By: ereshkigal45

ereshkigal45 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:54:46 -0800

Cheney's package? Probably a Foley Catheter. Thank you, PurplePorpoise! I am much more comfortable, perhaps even gleeful, with the idea that Cheney has to pee into a bag than with the idea that he has some kind of huge alpha male schlong.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 12:55:25 -0800

BTW, a flaccid schlong is R-rated in most contexts, no? Black schlongs are always X, flaccidity notwithstanding.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:02:13 -0800

What black guy would ever be that Crayola "flesh" colour? This bears repeating. All the penis-seers are apparently unaware that black dudes' wangs are not peach-colored.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:04:34 -0800

He's wearing biker shorts/compression pants/whatever you want to call them. It is not his wang. Even assuming he DID have a 12" tool, it would necessarily need to be properly stowed, in said biker shorts, to make playing basketball even possible. Also, the Cheney shot above? The catheter explanation is the most reasonable, given his age, his existing medical problems, and at least the appearance of a mild stroke at some point in his life. Of course, I'm sure Haliburton perfected "massive cocks for rich white guys" years ago, so maybe it is what it looks like.

By: docpops

docpops — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:05:36 -0800

All the penis-seers are apparently unaware that black dudes' wangs are not peach-colored. Actually, genital pigmentation may vary greatly in darker individuals. It's teh cock.

By: Lord Kinbote

Lord Kinbote — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:06:10 -0800

He's a very gifted...athlete!

By: goatdog

goatdog — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:07:06 -0800

mrgrimm and ColdChef, you've made my day.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:10:50 -0800

I used my super-CSI image-enhancement software to enlarge the image, and found that davelog is, indeed, correct.

By: docpops

docpops — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:13:00 -0800

That lamprey needs a time-out.

By: juniper

juniper — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:17:07 -0800

Actually, purplemonkie, they can be substantially lighter than the rest of the body. Personal experience.

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:17:17 -0800

C'est une peepee, no? OUI!!!!!

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:18:50 -0800

Well, one thing's for sure - that guy isn't going to have any problem getting dates for awhile.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:28:59 -0800

Actually, purplemonkie, they can be substantially lighter than the rest of the body. Well... sure, they can be. I should not have spoken so absolutely. But it is my impression that such pigmentation is less common, and I just don't think the chances are very good that this guy a) happens to have developed a hole in the crotch of his black athletic shorts and b) has a really light-colored penis that c) has somehow managed to pop out through said hole. It is more fun to think it's a penis, though.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:29:16 -0800

Guy Smiley writes "'Either he's wearing a pair of compression shorts with a hole in the middle, or that really is an optical illusion.'" Ya, let's assume one is hung like that, one has to keep things constrained to avoid injury. Especially while playing basketball.

By: Clay201

Clay201 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:29:27 -0800

It's a wardrobe misinterpretation.

By: graventy

graventy — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:34:24 -0800

I dunno. If you enlarge that photo...it looks like you just spent the last 20 seconds or so staring at some guy's wang.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:39:41 -0800

I'm still going to feel horribly inadequate, just in case.

By: honeyx

honeyx — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:48:19 -0800

If this is a (basically weightless) band from the guy's shorts, why is the fabric conforming to its motion so well? That takes some weight, baby!

By: BuddhaInABucket

BuddhaInABucket — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:53:23 -0800

Metafilter: It's more fun to think it's a penis.

By: Nedroid

Nedroid — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 13:59:03 -0800

You're all ignoring the terrifying implications of this image. If it's not his penis... then whose is it?

By: sluggo

sluggo — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:08:24 -0800

Pretty sure it's der wänger. It looks very close in color to the rest of his skin, and the black shorts that everybody's referring to could definitely be shadow. The excuse that "you wouldn't play basketball with it flopping around like that" completely ignores the possibility of SLIPPAGE!!!!1!

By: mrbill

mrbill — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:10:38 -0800

I'm sure Haliburton perfected "massive cocks for rich white guys" years ago I work for Halliburton, and unfortunately that isn't in our medical benefits. At least, not the ones I have..

By: sfts2

sfts2 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:12:06 -0800

I guess its true, everything IS bigger in Texas...

By: b_thinky

b_thinky — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:12:50 -0800

You can't play basketball while freeballing. So it's not his johnson. You can even see his black tights on his leg. Do you think he cut a hole in the crotch so he could wave his extra hand on defense?

By: elwoodwiles

elwoodwiles — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:20:25 -0800

I'd be more impressed if he'd actually blocked the shot.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:20:29 -0800

I'm sure Haliburton perfected "massive cocks for rich white guys*" years ago I work for Halliburton, and unfortunately that isn't in our medical benefits. At least, not the ones I have.. posted by mrbill at 4:10 PM CST on March 3 [!] *Offer good to Halliburton CEO's only

By: Gator

Gator — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:21:29 -0800

I downloaded it and enlarged it. I tried really hard to see how it's just a flap of fabric, but I just can't. It looks like a dick, with a head an' everything. I can't explain the black underpinnings in light of that -- unless maybe that is the lining of the shorts? I dunno.

By: Kickstart70

Kickstart70 — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:23:50 -0800

Truly, the best of the web.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 14:52:40 -0800

Riddle me this: Why would his wang be moving the opposite direction of his legs?

By: leftcoastbob

leftcoastbob — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:05:01 -0800

I downloaded it and enlarged it. posted by Gator Of all the things one might do with it, enlarging it isn't the first thing to come to mind, Gator.

By: blacklite

blacklite — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:09:47 -0800

it's really not a wang. but i'm glad we had this little talk.

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:14:02 -0800

I just read an entire article and 73 comments about a picture that may or may not contain an exposed penis. I hate myself and all that I stand for.

By: Suparnova

Suparnova — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:34:59 -0800

I'm on team penis. Why don't we have a google fight. We win.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:47:44 -0800

I don't want to be exposed to shorts liner!

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:48:22 -0800

Riddle me this: Why would his wang be moving the opposite direction of his legs? Momentum? The legs control the direction of the body. In basketball there's lots of quick movements. The legs start going one way, the wang follows. The legs quickly change directions, then the wang needs a split-second or two to follow suit and swing back. In this case, it would be most likely explained by the offensive player making a quick move toward the basketball, i.e. a step or dribble fake, then quickly pulling up for the three-point shot. The defender (wang) starts to move backwards, then jumps forward to get a hand in the shooter's face. Wang moving backwards, legs moving forwards. QED.

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:49:00 -0800

the wang needs a split-second or two to follow suit and swing back I should have added "especially when it's that large."

By: mrgrimm

mrgrimm — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:49:52 -0800

On further review, it doesn't even really look *that* big. I may be switching to Team Wang.

By: stenseng

stenseng — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 15:54:04 -0800

That is just an unfortunately lit fold of dude's shorts. There's a red outer shell, and a white inner layer. Take a piece of white cloth, and put some red cloth behind it, then hold em up to the light. Damn if the white cloth don't look pink. Moving on.

By: me & my monkey

me & my monkey — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:15:20 -0800

Who's on Team Penis? I am! I am! But I think this picture isn't a penis.

By: docpops

docpops — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:20:24 -0800

Occam's Razor, people.

By: jrossi4r

jrossi4r — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:22:27 -0800

Riddle me this: Why would his wang be moving the opposite direction of his legs? Back and to the left. Back and to the left.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 16:53:50 -0800

I'm agnostic until I can examine a much higher resolution image. But people's assumptions about what color the guy's wang must be are disappointing.

By: me & my monkey

me & my monkey — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 17:18:59 -0800

Occam's Razor, people. Please don't discuss razors in a thread about penises.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 17:34:12 -0800

Indeed. If nothing else, he could have had a wang transplant, perhaps from an orca.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 17:56:00 -0800

And to think I was told I would never play professional sports becaue of my massive peener.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 18:54:00 -0800

That's because you're a girl, AZ.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 18:54:31 -0800

But people's assumptions about what color the guy's wang must be are disappointing. Please tell me you're not serious about this. Anyway, you guys are all so busy talking about the fake optical illusion schlong that you totally missed the three real ones!

By: graventy

graventy — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:28:52 -0800

Okay, after spending another 25 seconds looking at it, I'm switching to Team Lining. But it's an excellent optical illusion. Of the faces/vase variety. Give that photog a Pulitzer!

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:35:34 -0800

"Please tell me you're not serious about this." Real Black People have wangs of varying shades.

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:37:10 -0800

I think "Wangs of Varying Shades" was a Moody Blues album.

By: Gator

Gator — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:39:18 -0800

You might be thinking of "On The Threshold of a Wang," ColdChef. I wonder what Daniel Gibson thinks of this whole mishegoss.

By: rosemere

rosemere — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 19:59:04 -0800

"Wangs in Red and White Nylon"? Nah, doesn't scan.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:13:13 -0800

Wang Chung

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:41:45 -0800

This year we're going back to basics, work on our fundamentals, lots of drills, condtioning, zone defence and Michaels is going to work extra hard on keeping his giant floppy semi-sentient pink cock from escaping his shorts when he's in the top of the key. I think it's gonna be a good season.

By: booksandlibretti

booksandlibretti — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:50:28 -0800

And to think I was told I would never play professional sports becaue of my massive peener. That's because you're a girl, AZ. And yet Chyna succeeded. I say chase your dreams, AZ.

By: me & my monkey

me & my monkey — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 20:53:34 -0800

... and Michaels is going to work extra hard on keeping his giant floppy semi-sentient pink cock from escaping his shorts when he's in the top of the key. Why? Can't it dribble?

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 21:00:31 -0800

Yeah, but it's a fucking chucker. No skills at all.

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 21:31:25 -0800

Oh lord.

By: rosemere

rosemere — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 21:33:38 -0800

I, for one, welcome our new peach-coloured overlords.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 21:58:05 -0800

Real Black People have wangs of varying shades. As a Real Black Person myself -- indeed, one who several hours ago admitted I spoke too broadly above -- I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation. Thanks, though. Oh, and Chyna's peener is moderately sized, at best.

By: PlanoTX

PlanoTX — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 22:24:23 -0800

"Pluck your magic wanger, Longhorn!" Why, after all, are the players called "LONG Horns"? What all of you have forgotten is that the University of Texas uses the same uniform designer that Janet Jackson used for her famous Super Bowl gig!! Pullaparts_R_us!

By: chaz

chaz — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 23:07:25 -0800

MetaFilter: I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation.

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Fri, 03 Mar 2006 23:09:00 -0800

"As a Real Black Person myself -- indeed, one who several hours ago admitted I spoke too broadly above -- I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation. Thanks, though." So we're clear here? You spoke too broadly, apparently characterizing all Black people, and then corrected yourself? Sounds like you did need a lesson in Black wang pigmentation, regardless of the color of yours.

By: Navek Rednam

Navek Rednam — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 00:59:02 -0800

So this is just a Cock and (Texas) Bull story?

By: mrbill

mrbill — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 04:43:16 -0800

*Offer good to Halliburton CEO's only Well, my name is Bill Bradford... (I get all of his junk postal mail, email spam, and last week got a phone call from someone at the Air Force trying to do business - I had to explain to him that I'm just a systems admin and not the former Chairman of the Board..)

By: Gator

Gator — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 05:21:49 -0800

I assure you I am not in need of a lesson in Black wang pigmentation. Thanks, though. Yoink!

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 06:31:41 -0800

So we're clear here? You spoke too broadly, apparently characterizing all Black people, and then corrected yourself? Sounds like you did need a lesson in Black wang pigmentation, regardless of the color of yours. Oh, for god's sake, EB. I have no intention of getting into a pissing match (heh) with you over this and your desire to make absolutely, positively certain I humble myself in the face of your superior knowledge of Black cock is amusing. Let's get some perspective here: I made an offhand remark in a silly thread about basketball penises, and yes, I was wrong -- horror of horrors! -- and corrected myself. I have no problem admitting that. What I do have a problem with is your need to come in here condescendingly tsk-tsking at me with an oh-so-subtle racism accusation and, apparently, some unwarranted assumptions about who I am and how I perceive Black people. I have been thinking deeply about race and racism for years; in fact, I was a professional anti-racism trainer for quite some time before my recent reincarnation as a biochemist. To have you chastize me like that, in that tone, over a one-liner which I had already rescinded rubbed me the wrong way in at least three different directions. I hope you can understand where I'm coming from here, even if you remain "disappointed." (And not that it matters, but I am a woman and thus rather wangless, personally.)

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 07:30:52 -0800

Texas Schlonghorns

By: Ethereal Bligh

Ethereal Bligh — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 09:27:36 -0800

purplemonkie, you weren't the only one to make that assumption, and I wasn't chastizing you personally. It seemed to me, and still seems to me, that making that assumption reveals a kind of essentialist attitude about race and skin color. In a non-Black person that's racism, even if a relatively mild and benign variety. What is it in a Black person? I don't know. But as I considered your response last night before I wrote mine, it occured to me that your skin coloration has no more direct relevance to the matter at, er, hand than does a white person's. It was embarassing to be caught making the assumption that you and the others are white when you are not, but that error and my embrassment didn't change things that much. I did overreact—but I have a strong negative reaction to anything that smacks of "oh those people are that way", especially in this context where skin color is a continuum and not even always regular across the entire body.

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 09:37:27 -0800

At first glance it seems like a penis, but... 1: Why does it seem to be sprouting from his upper thigh rather than his pelvis? 2: What is the deal with the spandex shorts (which since they have the same sharp edges as the knee band, certainly appear real.) So my vote is: strap on

By: kalimac

kalimac — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 10:01:35 -0800

After much squinting, I'm going to have to go with Team Lining. I go with sorrow, though. And now, having spent the past twenty minutes reading about this guy's wang, gawking at it, debating, and finally just deciding that bro's not going to be wanting for dates, I'm going to go read the New Yorker and pretend I have some dignity left.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 14:49:46 -0800

I love the green guy in that picture. He's from the future. I love you. Primarily since you can read my thoughts.

By: purplemonkie

purplemonkie — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 15:49:06 -0800

But as I considered your response last night before I wrote mine, it occured to me that your skin coloration has no more direct relevance to the matter at, er, hand than does a white person's. It is relevant to me for this reason: having a white guy condescendingly (and unnecessarily) lecture me on the physical characteristics of "Real Black People" felt incredibly shitty. I may be overreacting or you may not care, and that's fine. I'm just telling you how it affected me at the moment. For the last time: I have admitted on several occasions now that I made an overgeneralization. I did so not in complete ignorance of the fact that black skin pigmentation can vary -- hell, it varies on my own body -- but because, to be honest, I had a timer going off, I was in a rush, and I was writing carelessly. My second comment more accurately expresses what I was thinking. Sort of an Occam's Razor thing. Anyway, I feel pretty silly arguing about wangs so I'm going to stop. Hope you have a good night.

By: rob511

rob511 — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 16:45:22 -0800

"E.T. foam dong!"

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Sat, 04 Mar 2006 17:47:21 -0800

Who's on Team Penis? posted by iconomy at 3:49 PM EST on March 3 I'm not sure...do I have to have a penis or can I just be on a penis? And if the latter, do I have to be on the penis right this second? Because my husband is sleeping at the moment, but if necessary I'm sure he wouldn't mind me waking him up.

By: oaf

oaf — Sun, 05 Mar 2006 10:46:31 -0800

I don't think it can actually be his penis. Wouldn't he be wearing a jockstrap? I pity him if he doesn't, because all that running around has a great potential to cause pain down there after a while.