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Pocket Death Ray
March 6, 2006 10:53 AM   Subscribe

Anybody need a pocket death ray? These guys sell a green laser pointer which is powerful enough to ignite matches, pop balloons, and cut black electrical tape.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste (49 comments total)

 
Which makes me wonder: at what point will these suckers reach the point where you have to have a "concealed carry" license for them?
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 10:55 AM on March 6, 2006


at what point will these suckers reach the point where you have to have a "concealed carry" license for them?

Imagine what the PowerPoint presentation at the National Rifile and Laser Pointer Association convention would look like.

"Damn, burned a hole through the screen again."
posted by three blind mice at 11:02 AM on March 6, 2006


Triple post.
posted by adamgreenfield at 11:02 AM on March 6, 2006


Shark and head-strap sold separately.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:04 AM on March 6, 2006


I've only watched the electrical tape one so far, but it looks fake to me.
posted by shmegegge at 11:04 AM on March 6, 2006


I noticed their comparison chart lists "open cut healing power" on three of their lasers. What the hell does that mean?
posted by justkevin at 11:05 AM on March 6, 2006


scratch that. it looks real. fucking crazy.
posted by shmegegge at 11:07 AM on March 6, 2006


At these powers catching a specular reflection (particularly at green wavelengths) can cause tissue damage in the eye. I know big warning signs on their site would hurt sales but I can't believe that they seem to be encouraging people to use these for fun.
posted by ny_scotsman at 11:08 AM on March 6, 2006


posted by ny_scotsman At these powers catching a specular reflection (particularly at green wavelengths) can cause tissue damage in the eye. I know big warning signs on their site would hurt sales but I can't believe that they seem to be encouraging people to use these for fun.

It's all fun and games until someone lasers an eye.
posted by fandango_matt at 11:11 AM on March 6, 2006


justkevin : cauterization, presumably.
posted by ny_scotsman at 11:12 AM on March 6, 2006


justkevin writes "What the hell does that mean?"

Possibly that it can be used to cauterize wounds?

It's pretty stupid to use this things in a presentation. You'd blind your audience. I've seen people present with green laser pointers so bright that they ruined my dark acclimation, and made it difficult to see their slides.
posted by mr_roboto at 11:12 AM on March 6, 2006


Steven C. Den Beste writes "at what point will these suckers reach the point where you have to have a 'concealed carry' license for them"

And how easy would it be to have a two stage switch. Press and holding the button gets you a wimpy 3mw beam. Tap out SOS on the button and you get a 100W laser of death.
posted by Mitheral at 11:13 AM on March 6, 2006


The warning on the laser gear in the lab during my university days : "Do not stare directly into laser beam with remaining eye."
posted by ny_scotsman at 11:14 AM on March 6, 2006


Let me know when they have a lightsaber
posted by poppo at 11:16 AM on March 6, 2006


> Let me know when they have a lightsaber

They pretty much do. Close to it.

I own a 105mW and 45mW from these guys, among other pointers I have. The 105 is pretty amazing, at least with fresh batteries (which don't last too long...)
posted by spincycle at 11:22 AM on March 6, 2006


Speaking of cool science things that can kill and main, there's always the Super Magnets from United Nuclear (hint: scroll down to Super Magnets) that will break arms and fingers.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:33 AM on March 6, 2006


That electrical tape video is such a hilarious combination of banality and heavy metal.
posted by odinsdream at 11:44 AM on March 6, 2006


"simply the most powerful handheld laser available," "underwater capabilities," "stealth military non-reflective matte finish,"

MI6 must really need some outside funding if they're allowing Q Branch to sell gadgets to the public.
posted by slip81 at 11:54 AM on March 6, 2006


I thought they might mean cauterization/sterilization. Then I thought, "No, marketing this thing as a self-treatment medical device would be just asking for lawsuits. It must mean something else."
posted by justkevin at 12:02 PM on March 6, 2006


Great, now not only will my hypothetical kids have to wear helmets everywhere they go, they'll also need to wear goggles.
posted by furtive at 12:13 PM on March 6, 2006


Yep, if there're commercial lasers that are capable of inflicting proper damage, you can bet that the good ol' US military have kept the really good stuff for themselves:

Fixed Death Beams

Mobile Death Beams

All this laser talk reminds me of Val Kilmer.
posted by 6am at 12:24 PM on March 6, 2006


Warning: Do not look into laser with remaining good eye.
posted by Vaska at 12:35 PM on March 6, 2006


These people must enjoy lawsuits.
posted by puke & cry at 12:37 PM on March 6, 2006 [1 favorite]


For what it's worth, a few years back they were looking at backpack tactical lasers to temporarily (and possibly permanetly) blind the enemy. It was looked on as inhumane.

(Like shooting them, blowing them apart with grenades and artillery shells is any more humane...)
posted by JB71 at 12:40 PM on March 6, 2006


Very cool and very scary. I hope I never see one.
posted by OmieWise at 12:48 PM on March 6, 2006


I'll take a dozen. Got any really big secondary or tertiary solid state crystal pumps? I've got a hankerin' to go biking in L.A. traffic.
posted by loquacious at 12:57 PM on March 6, 2006


Holy cow. I've wanted to mount an industrial laser on the back of my truck for as long as I can remember. But they can be expensive.

Maybe if I got 5 or 6 of these, I could mount them on the front... combined with a steerable headlight kit, we could be on to something here.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 1:21 PM on March 6, 2006


So could you start a grass/forest/house fire from miles away with one of these?
posted by puke & cry at 1:27 PM on March 6, 2006 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Do not look into thread with remaining good eye.
posted by mystyk at 1:27 PM on March 6, 2006


There should be an age warning on owning some of the higher powered lasers. Mostly cos I know as a 16 year old I would've blinded myself and my friends a few times over.

Stock up on a few of these nifty items before the neopuritan nanny state decides to protect us from ourselves (again). Cos you know the memo's gone out that, creativity, imagination and a sense of wonder are terrorist qualities now...
posted by Skygazer at 1:30 PM on March 6, 2006




Way cool.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:35 PM on March 6, 2006


Speaking of cool science things that can kill and main, there's always the Super Magnets from United Nuclear (hint: scroll down to Super Magnets) that will break arms and fingers.
posted by blue_beetle at 11:33 AM PST on March 6 [!]


I was actually tempted to buy one of those a few months ago. Then I read the warnings on the site that said they break limbs, interfere with pacemakers, computers, televisions, cannot be shipped on an airplane and even carrying one across a room requires careful planning because metal debris may come flying at you.

Seemed pretty serious and less fun than I'd originally planned.
posted by b_thinky at 1:37 PM on March 6, 2006


Then I read the warnings on the site that said they break limbs, interfere with pacemakers, computers, televisions, cannot be shipped on an airplane and even carrying one across a room requires careful planning because metal debris may come flying at you.

Holy flying cutlery Batman!!
posted by Skygazer at 1:44 PM on March 6, 2006


Wow. FDA.gov has lots of interesting info on Wicked Lasers. A whole slew of Warning Letters and Import Alerts ordering "Detention Without Physical Examination"

These are all dated 2006 so looks like a fairly recent and serious effort to shut these guys down.

A lot (most I've dealt with in my travels) of Chinese merchants will lie about their products to get you to buy. These guys look to be in the same boat. The front page claim of "100% legal to own in the U.S." is obviously not true at all.
posted by b_thinky at 1:50 PM on March 6, 2006


b_thinky writes "I'd buy one - - but it looks like they're highly illegal and the FDA is threatening $1000 fines on anyone who imports a 'Wicked Laser.'"

If they weren't $500 I buy one just for spite.
posted by Mitheral at 3:02 PM on March 6, 2006


The FDA controls the sale of lasers? Weird.
posted by joegester at 3:27 PM on March 6, 2006


Finally, a laser pointer that can blind my cat AND instantly cauterize the wounds left in his eye sockets.
posted by scarabic at 3:28 PM on March 6, 2006


Skygazer:
Lasers or super magnets?
posted by notreally at 3:30 PM on March 6, 2006


I am so glad that I've finally grown up enough to recognize when purchasing a really cool toy would, in fact, probably result in my causing extreme injury to myself, and thus I decide to not purchase the toy after all.

Damn. To be ten years younger...
posted by five fresh fish at 5:51 PM on March 6, 2006


blue beetle: I've got magnets to the 1" x 1/8" size. I don't think you'll want to go much larger than the 1" x 1/4" size.

The super magnets are just fucking ridiculous. You couldn't even enter the room without erasing your credit card. I can't imagine how you'd get anything stuck to the magnet back off the magnet, not when it's that size.
posted by five fresh fish at 5:54 PM on March 6, 2006


I've had some pretty serious pinches and bites just from smaller, thinner hard drive magnets. They leave tasty little blood blisters if you're not super cautious with them.

Those super magnets? Yeah, having a pair of those crush the bones in my hand to a pulp while simultaneously wiping all of my magnetic media sounds like no fun to me.

Though, with the right hoist and connective surfaces you could probably pick up a small car with one of those monsters.
posted by loquacious at 6:18 PM on March 6, 2006


regarding the super magnets:

"If carrying one into another room, carefully plan the route you will be taking. Computers & monitors will be affected in an entire room. Loose metallic objects and other magnets may become airborne and fly considerable distances - and at great speed - to attach themselves to this magnet. If you get caught in between the two, you can get injured."

boy, do i want one.
boy, should i not have one.
posted by narwhal at 7:41 PM on March 6, 2006


Also, don't leave your high-strength magnets out where children can access them. There is at least one case of a child dying from a pinched intestine caused by ingestion of super magnets.

I suppose that should count for pets, too.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:54 PM on March 6, 2006


"Do you expect me to stick?"

"No Mr. Black Electrical tape. I expect you to to be cut in two after about 30 seconds of holding this pathetic laser beam on you while you hang suspended."
posted by euphorb at 8:53 PM on March 6, 2006


What sticks with me most is the way they edited this Fox News clip to include "...George Michael was arrested in Los Angeles for engaging in a lewd act in a public bathroom" right before the laser part.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 11:07 PM on March 6, 2006


Skygazer:
Lasers or super magnets?
posted by notreally at 6:30 PM EST on March 6 [!]


Well I imagine walking into a kitchen and knives/forks/tines making an aggressive beeline for front or back pockets being a bad, baad situation. Ouch.
posted by Skygazer at 9:39 AM on March 7, 2006


*Pockets containing super magnets.
posted by Skygazer at 9:40 AM on March 7, 2006


Can't the military employ these supermagnets in the nation's war on abstract nouns? Throw one of those suckers into a house and see how many AK's fly toward it...
posted by mystyk at 11:45 AM on March 7, 2006


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