Vegan food for consenting adults
March 9, 2006 5:44 PM   Subscribe

Now that we've got the fights out of our system, don't you all want to read some awesome vegan recipes? From amateur and pro chefs radical, domestic, sweets-craving, post-punk, healthy...and hey, even naked. (Naked vegans NSFW.) And not a cutesy-poo lunchbox in sight. (More inside.)
posted by Tomatillo (50 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
Of course, if you'd rather a hard-copy recipe book you can take into the kitchen, here are a few classics.
posted by Tomatillo at 5:46 PM on March 9, 2006


Vegans taste like chickens... very, very sickly chickens.
posted by roguescout at 6:03 PM on March 9, 2006


Why are the vegans (at least in the naked vegan link) mostly over pierced lesbians? What's the connection?
posted by Balisong at 6:04 PM on March 9, 2006


The "radical" link leads to a site that has no content (click the links in it).
posted by melt away at 6:04 PM on March 9, 2006


Naked vegans not safe for MY EYES!!!! MY FUCKING EYES!!!!!!1
posted by stenseng at 6:06 PM on March 9, 2006


Man. The girl with the ivy and the apple is annoying.
posted by Jesse H Christ at 6:11 PM on March 9, 2006


Umm, I quite enjoyed looking at many of the naked vegans. I assume my large dyke friends would enjoy looking at the rest. Who was it that said vegans were emaciated again?

Post-Punk Kitchen looks pretty kickass, although their site has no love for Firefox.
posted by xthlc at 6:17 PM on March 9, 2006


Also: Not to be mean or anything, but I think "Healthy Chef Alex" could really use a nice fattening avocado and tempeh sandwich on whole wheat with Nayonnaise, lettuce and tomato. Or three.
posted by xthlc at 6:24 PM on March 9, 2006


Also: Not to be mean or anything, but I think "Healthy Chef Alex" could really use a nice fattening avocado and tempeh sandwich on whole wheat with Nayonnaise, lettuce and tomato. Or three.

Or do the month of Mcdonald's like her boyfriend did.

Or maybe not, actually.
posted by jikel_morten at 6:39 PM on March 9, 2006


Weird. My first thought on seeing 'Healthy Chef Alex' was "Isn't that Morgan Spurlock's vegan girlfriend from Super Size Me?" And she was.
posted by boaz at 6:40 PM on March 9, 2006


Naked vegans not safe for MY EYES!!!! MY FUCKING EYES!!!!!!

Just got bits of Vindaloo (with delicious pork in it) all over my laptop. Thanks stenseng!!
posted by dieselid at 6:46 PM on March 9, 2006


The Post-Punk Kitchen's cookbook is one of the best vegetarian/vegan cookbooks I have (and I've got about 30). I wish I could see the show without buying the DVD.
posted by ruby.aftermath at 6:47 PM on March 9, 2006


So much for vegans being skinny.. (NSFWiy)
posted by delmoi at 6:50 PM on March 9, 2006


A happy vegan:



By the way, nice post Tomatillo.
posted by caddis at 6:51 PM on March 9, 2006


Vegans: unattractive before or after their diet choice? It's a chicken or the egg riddle. . . er, I guess I can't use that one. It's like facon or the not dog; was it throwup before or after someone ate it? It's an eternal cycle of vomiting and re-eating this food, no one will ever know which came first.
posted by dgaicun at 7:00 PM on March 9, 2006


You immoral vegetable killers.

I'm a fruitarian.

I only eat fruit that falls from the trees at my commune, and I carefully place all the seeds into the dirt (with all natural fertilizer) when I'm finished with them.

That way, I make no negative impact on any living thing.
posted by empath at 7:25 PM on March 9, 2006


I didn't even want to click on the vegan recipe links after staring at the drawing of impacted teeth. They seemed a bit off-putting next to the chocolate chai cake and black beans.
posted by leftcoastbob at 7:26 PM on March 9, 2006


Did someone say Vegan Porn?

Hm? They didn't? Oh, OK, never mind.
posted by soyjoy at 7:29 PM on March 9, 2006


Why do all the vegan porn models look unhealthy?
posted by frogan at 7:36 PM on March 9, 2006


Vegan porn just proves that most people are not that attractive. But you knew that just by watching people walk by ya in a mall or down the street, right?

I've seen such a level of quality at other amature porn when I did contract work for a porn web site wanna-be.
posted by rough ashlar at 7:52 PM on March 9, 2006


I'm going to put this as nicely as I can...I don't feel the Vegporn people are helping to further their cause and may--in fact--be detrimental to the vegetarian movement.

There are some... disturbing things happening in those pictures.

I don't know. That's just a club I can't see myself joining.
posted by ColdChef at 7:52 PM on March 9, 2006


For instance, Jennie Mutation here. Who describes herself this way:
Gender Genderqueer transwoman. Prefer female or gender-neutral pronouns.
Sexual orientation Autonosexual/pansexual
Relationship style Polyamorous ethical slut.

She's topless in a tub with a rubber glove and "No War" written on the wall behind her in duct tape. Now, I try not to judge, lest I be judged myself, but... come on.

Hell, I'm a fairly liberal guy and I'm halfway through writing my donation check to the GOP.

What I'm trying to say is: if you want people to treat you as as humanly as possible, please try not to scare the shit out of them at every opportunity. That's all I'm saying.
posted by ColdChef at 7:59 PM on March 9, 2006


I have to concur with ColdChef here.

I've never liked the whole attitude that people adopt when they don exceptionally unusual attire, make-up, tattoos, etc., and then hiss at you "Take a picture, it'll last longer!" as you pass them by. Let's make something clear. You are essentially forcing me to look at you and to react, thus giving you my attention that you appear to crave, though you would of course deny this. I would much rather have spent my day without having seen you, but now I have, and we are both angry.

People. They are the worst!
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:14 PM on March 9, 2006


You carnivores have gotta admit, this looks pretty good.
posted by applemeat at 8:15 PM on March 9, 2006


I like how Jennie has a wobbly tat, but doesn't seem to actually have a job.

Also, ColdChef: I don't think people should have to be "less scary" in order to be treated as humans. Although somebody reallly ought to take away their stupid protest puppets -- they might hurt themselves or others.
posted by xthlc at 8:21 PM on March 9, 2006


I'd hit it.
posted by soyjoy at 8:22 PM on March 9, 2006


Damn, not quick enough. That was to applemeat's image.

Also, though: ColdChef, c'mon, really - what the hell is so wrong with writing words on the wall with duct tape?
posted by soyjoy at 8:23 PM on March 9, 2006


That way, I make no negative impact on any living thing.

Except the little critters who would have otherwise eaten that fruit. You are causing immeasurable suffering and death! Breathairianism is the only ethical choice.
posted by Jimbob at 8:23 PM on March 9, 2006


Also, ColdChef: I don't think people should have to be "less scary" in order to be treated as humans.

Oh, I don't either. But, you know, if your point is to scare the "straights", then don't be surprised when you scare them so much you actually become a marketing tool for them.

Also, though: ColdChef, c'mon, really - what the hell is so wrong with writing words on the wall with duct tape?

I'm fairly certain that anyone sharing a shower with Jennie already has a negative outlook on warmongering. But, hell, I don't know. She could be fisting some sub against the wall and all of a sudden that sub thinks, "You know? I was thinking about joining the army, but now, maybe not so much."
posted by ColdChef at 8:31 PM on March 9, 2006


A happy vegan:

Yes, I believe that particular genre of grin has a special designation.
posted by dgaicun at 8:42 PM on March 9, 2006


But, hell, I don't know. She could be fisting some sub against the wall and all of a sudden that sub thinks, "You know? I was thinking about joining the army, but now, maybe not so much."

I dunno, getting fisted up against a cold tile wall might be great preparation for a rewarding career in Army Intelligence. Kinda like when they make you sit in a tear-gas-filled hutch so you know what it feels like when you use it on other people.
posted by xthlc at 8:43 PM on March 9, 2006


She could be fisting some sub against the wall and all of a sudden that sub thinks, "You know? I was thinking about joining the army, but now, maybe not so much."

See, but here's where you and I differ, because to me, that's exactly what makes duct-taped wall messages such a positive thing.
posted by soyjoy at 8:45 PM on March 9, 2006


Fair enough, but I think I should tell you, I'm thinking about duct-taping my bathroom wall to read "Please try not to fist me when I'm in the shower."
posted by ColdChef at 8:48 PM on March 9, 2006


"Oh, and No War."
posted by ColdChef at 8:48 PM on March 9, 2006


"eat pussy, not pork"

if one of those nudies tries to eat my cat i'll be pissed.
posted by teishu at 8:50 PM on March 9, 2006


There's entirely too much fisting going on in this thread. I say good day!
posted by Pontius Pilate at 8:54 PM on March 9, 2006


I thought I'd come here for the open-mindedness. I guess I'll have to go somewhere else now...

Too fat, too slim, too gay -- well, I guess you guys are just perfect and you can certainly afford to criticize...

Lame.
posted by NewBornHippy at 8:57 PM on March 9, 2006


Oh, come back. I was just teasin'.
posted by ColdChef at 9:00 PM on March 9, 2006


Hot vegans (out in the cold; scroll down.)

BTW, I'm 95% vegan and I don't suck, either, IM(N)HO.
posted by Shane at 10:22 PM on March 9, 2006


I'm bemused by the mockery, I really am. I am a meat eater for various reasons we need not go into, but if people have a particular ethical view and live it out consistently, that strikes me as admirable. The rude remarks I see here suggest a certain discomfort and unquiet with your dietary choices that can only be satiated by teasing someone else who has a more principled view.

Thanks for the recipe pointers. I like food, and I don't care who's making it.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 10:51 PM on March 9, 2006


She could be fisting some sub against the wall and all of a sudden that sub thinks, "You know? I was thinking about joining the army, but now, maybe not so much.

Best comment I've read in ages.
posted by Cyrano at 2:14 AM on March 10, 2006


> Vegan porn just proves that most people are not that attractive. But you knew
> that just by watching people walk by ya in a mall or down the street, right?

Since those people generally have the sense to keep their clothes on, the knowledge remains safely theoretical.


> I don't think people should have to be "less scary" in order to be treated as humans.

To consider someone unattractive is one of the ways to treat that person as human. You never hear me going "Gee, what an unattractive rock."

posted by jfuller at 4:06 AM on March 10, 2006


Here's a very attractive vegan.

Also, Here's my favourite vegan cookbooks.
posted by purephase at 5:58 AM on March 10, 2006


how it all vegan is amazing. i didn't know there was a third one out, i'll have to pick it up.
posted by teishu at 9:59 AM on March 10, 2006


Hey, y'all, thanks for all the feedback/comments on my first post.

(Sorry about the "radical" vegan messup. turns out www.lagusta.com is being renovated, but check it out later for some killer recipes.)
posted by Tomatillo at 9:27 PM on March 10, 2006


You know what sucks? Carob. Am I right or am I right?
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 10:15 PM on March 10, 2006


Carob's bad. And it has a sharp, stinky smell that's bad, but differently bad, from its unpleasant flavor. That's the weird part. And the waxy texture.
posted by applemeat at 5:29 AM on March 11, 2006


I_am_joe's_spleen: a certain discomfort and unquiet with your dietary choices that can only be satiated by teasing someone else who has a more principled view.

Thank you. I'm vegetarian, married to a vegan. We say nothing about why to carni-omni-vores, unless they ask for our perspectives, or to mildly correct their erroneous statements ("Veg diets are deficient in calcium/protein!") about veg'ism. Despite this, some people respond to our saying "I'm vegetarian/vegan" by launching blistering attacks, or badly aimed mockery.

To be fair, the rudeness in many cases could also be retaliation for suffering past veg-type evangelization (not a mature way to handle it, but understandable). But some people need to stop laying the responsibility for that on me.
posted by cybercoitus interruptus at 11:37 AM on March 11, 2006


Whoever it was that decided carob should be pushed as a substitute for chocolate should be tarred and feathered - er...confettied, that is. I can imagine, and believe in the abstract, that carob has some redeeming qualities to its flavor and could be somehow used to great effect in some food item(s), but I will now never be able to do more than theorize about that because my reaction to it is so viscerally negative after the few times I was gullible enough to try it in foods where it was woefully filling in for chocolate.
posted by soyjoy at 7:05 PM on March 11, 2006


Vegan Vixens. Nice. Ya gotta love a woman with a nice conscience.
posted by Shane at 12:10 PM on March 12, 2006


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