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March 10, 2006 6:40 AM   Subscribe

Bliss sucks. See?
posted by I Love Tacos (59 comments total)

 
Seen.
posted by MrMoonPie at 6:45 AM on March 10, 2006


I do see. But why must there be so much hostility in the world of professional jugglers? It's become a dog-eat-dog world, indeed. I long for those halcyon days when we all got along and just helped each other keep the balls in the air.
posted by Wash Jones at 6:51 AM on March 10, 2006


Perhaps you missed the second two links, which were the point of the FPP. The first was just for context.
posted by I Love Tacos at 6:51 AM on March 10, 2006


From the second link:

Ideally I would like everyone to know as much about juggling as I do.

Me too man, me too. There there.
posted by baphomet at 6:56 AM on March 10, 2006


if you're going to rush to snark about double-posts, could you please wait for an actual double post? Thanks in advance, I Love Tacos.
posted by I Love Tacos at 6:57 AM on March 10, 2006


I actually like Bliss better, for whatever nothing that's worth. He's got a better sense of rhythm, I think.
posted by metaculpa at 6:59 AM on March 10, 2006


Heh. It's just advanced dissing.

Is there a faster link to the .mov, Opera is telling me that I'm going to have to wait 24hrs for it.
posted by Navek Rednam at 7:01 AM on March 10, 2006


This reminds me of every long-haired 80s throwback Yngwie Malmsteen-wannabe shredder guitar player telling me that some popular guitarist "sucks" because his playing skill isn't up to par. TIt just ends up sounding like whining.
posted by Space Coyote at 7:03 AM on March 10, 2006


Navek: I'm not sure... I coralized the link, so I'm not sure if it'll get better at some point or not. I know the non-coralized link is getting spread around a fair bit.
posted by I Love Tacos at 7:06 AM on March 10, 2006


I watched about half of BlissDiss2.mov from the second link, and I must agree it is amazing. But you know what would be even better? Some guy juggling tacos and then adding hot sauce to them as he juggled, then taking bites as he juggled. Maybe pouring himself a shot of tequila as he juggled and then drinking that.
posted by Wash Jones at 7:06 AM on March 10, 2006


I'm embarrassed for both of them.
posted by docpops at 7:08 AM on March 10, 2006


This is like, some sort of nerd fight, right? Only instead of comparing WoW characters, they juggle?
posted by graventy at 7:14 AM on March 10, 2006


pwned
posted by found missing at 7:24 AM on March 10, 2006


This is like, some sort of nerd fight, right? Only instead of comparing WoW characters, they juggle?

That seems to be the gist of it, but it amused me.

Some guy juggling tacos and then adding hot sauce to them as he juggled, then taking bites as he juggled. Maybe pouring himself a shot of tequila as he juggled and then drinking that.

I have to go... someplace... now.
posted by I Love Tacos at 7:24 AM on March 10, 2006


Well, now that I've seen that jugglers can be rather serious, I am awaiting an AskMe questions that I can respond to with: "You really ought to ask your juggler. GO SEE A JUGGLER. Especially if your current juggler isn't providing you with the juggles you're looking for."
posted by herrdoktor at 7:28 AM on March 10, 2006


This rocked, Tacos.
posted by cgc373 at 7:33 AM on March 10, 2006


I was Bliss-neutral, until I read the second link and saw that the Bliss-disser didn't know how to spell the name of the band The Beatles.

Now I'm completely pro-Bliss.
posted by soyjoy at 7:34 AM on March 10, 2006


The guy in the second clip has no showmanship. The Bliss clip is a lot better.
posted by peeping_Thomist at 7:41 AM on March 10, 2006


I sure couldn't do it. Watching a clip of another guy doing it does not make me any less impressed. And despite my lack of juggling skills, I was well aware watching the first clip that the applause sometimes came when the juggling was the easiest.
posted by bingo at 7:44 AM on March 10, 2006


This geekboy wanker reminds me of stupid jazzers and metalheads who say things like "Uh the Ramones like, suck, because they, like, ONLY PLAY THREE CHORDS. Now watch me shred! No please, see how FAST I can play! WHOOOO DADDLEADDLEADDDLEADDLESKREEEEOW! Now wasn't that so much better than The Ramones?"

No, it wasn't. Shut up and go pose in front of your bedroom mirror, you absurd little techmeister. Believe me, it'll always be your most appreciative audience.

Bliss put on a damned good show there. He took some elements of his "art" (I know, I know) which may well have been techinically simple when considered individually, but what he did with them was striking and effective. The whole was greater than the sum of the parts, and that's what matters.
posted by Decani at 7:48 AM on March 10, 2006


I am as always downcast that there are so many folks out there that can do so many things that I can not do. Now this is added to the list.
posted by Postroad at 7:56 AM on March 10, 2006


Uh, is nobody recognizing that the second guy just HANDED BLISS's ASS to him? Maybe it's a little like beating some Jeopardy! contestant at home instead of on-set, in-studio, but the second guy burns the first guy all the way down. From where I'm sittin', anyhow.
posted by cgc373 at 7:56 AM on March 10, 2006


I need to hurry up register jasongarfieldisaprick.com
posted by JeffK at 8:02 AM on March 10, 2006


cgc373: the second guy just HANDED BLISS's ASS to him

The second guy in his webpage acknowledged that "what I think people are responding to in his routine is the choreography to the song". That's certainly true.

So does the second guy fight choreography with choreography? Hell no! Instead he says "you can play any song that I've never heard, and I could juggle three balls to it and make up the choreography as I went along and it would look similar to the chris bliss routine." And that's not true. The guy is an idiot.

Bliss was artfully interpreting a well-known piece of music that means a lot to many of the people in his audience. The second guy was just doing a bunch of tricks while in the background a song played. For all we know, that was the first time he'd ever heard the song.

I was enthralled by Bliss's performance. I was bored by the second guy's bag of tricks.
posted by peeping_Thomist at 8:25 AM on March 10, 2006


Judging by the picture of Jason Garfield on the front page of his site, he's the Vin Diesel of juggling. Best not mess with him, he'll juggle your ASS!! Or something!!!!
posted by chrid at 8:30 AM on March 10, 2006


What peeping_Thomist said.

Who knows whether Bliss can do seven-ball juggling, or eleven-hoop juggling or any of that anal, ten-hours-a-day-practicing-because-I-am-an-obsessive-geek-with-no-life shit? Maybe he can, maybe he can't. But that isn't what he was trying to do. He was trying to do an aesthetically pleasing choreographed juggling display and he succeeded admirably in that. The bitter rantings of a clearly envious show-off who lacks both the grace to appreciate another juggler's work and the decency to compare like with like is pathetic and nauseating.
posted by Decani at 8:30 AM on March 10, 2006


Ideally I would like everyone to be as big of a loser as I am.
posted by fungible at 8:32 AM on March 10, 2006


With a number of circus arts, there are people who are more interested in honing their technical proficiency in ways that only fellow practitioners could possibly appreciate than they are in putting on a good show (there's probably a pithy expression for this, something like "preaching to the choir", but I can't think of it). There's nothing wrong with that, but there's a subset of this group that mistakes technical proficiency for good showmanship, and that is a problem. Garfield is a member of this group of elitist fools.

I enjoyed Bliss' performance (although I think the idea could be taken further). Garfield? Ouch. He demonstrated how thoroughly he doesn't get the idea of showmanship (or tempo, for that matter).
posted by adamrice at 8:34 AM on March 10, 2006


I agree with the second guy. There weren't nearly enough ass catches in that first video for my liking.
posted by blag at 8:36 AM on March 10, 2006


Bliss wins.
posted by danb at 8:56 AM on March 10, 2006


You know why you've never seen a Ninja juggle to Paulist music?

That's right.
posted by freebird at 9:00 AM on March 10, 2006


I have been attempting to flatten the bell curve with my ineptitude at many things, and juggling is one of them. Then these two jokers come along and fuck it up. Great. Now I have to find something else to suck at, so I can flatten the curve back down again.
Also: Bliss rules, the other guy is a whiner.
posted by disclaimer at 9:14 AM on March 10, 2006


Wait -- ow. My head hurts now.

An online juggle war? Are we sure this isn't some random assembly of words that someone decided to portray?
posted by grubi at 9:21 AM on March 10, 2006


I like the second guys hair cut. And his attitude. He's got skills, enough to let you borrow some probably.

It's simply is the younger moving the older out. Fresh thoughts and attitudes that capture an energy when the previous generation has tired. Bliss was likely just as charasmatic 25 years ago, or atleast met that to his age group at the time. Think urban renewal, nobody likes to see the building that you grew up next to be torn down, but a newer one will take its place. Bliss RIP.
posted by cdavidc at 9:28 AM on March 10, 2006


Well, I was blown away by the Bliss routine. The anti-Bliss guy's routine was cool (and yes five balls is impressive in a kind of "it goes to eleven" way) but it didn't go with the music as convincingly IMHO. And I'm not a juggler, so I'm happy with it looking cool.
posted by Toecutter at 9:38 AM on March 10, 2006


The second guy was doing his thing to a recording of the Bliss show, as far as I could tell. That's where the applause was coming from. That's why he does the (admittedly somewhat punk-ass) bowing thing at the end of the bit. Regardless, he SMACKED THAT FOOL DOWN. I don't see how you can not see choreography, improvised or not, in his performance. Whether he knew the song intimately or not, he was moving his balls in time, not ignoring it and showboating. I'm not sure other people were watching the same link I watched, but as I said, that Bliss fellow looked tired compared to this young man. Tired.

On preview: I think there were four balls, Toecutter.
posted by cgc373 at 9:39 AM on March 10, 2006


cjc373: Whether he knew the song intimately or not, he was moving his balls in time

There's a lot more to it than moving your balls in time; Bliss was interpreting the song, which requires being intimately familiar with it and then finding ways to express your understanding of the song so that people can appreciate it. There were times when Bliss pretended to find what he was doing difficult, because that's what his interpretation of the song called for. There were times when he pretended to find what he was doing surprising, because that's what his interpretation of the song called for. The second guy had no interpretation of the song to offer; he was like a juggling robot, or like a gymnast trying to win an interpretive dance contest.

"Did you see at the dance recital how that gymnast SMACKED THOSE FOOLS DOWN?"
posted by peeping_Thomist at 10:14 AM on March 10, 2006


I didn't even watch them with sound. Now who do you think I believe is the better juggler?
posted by hellphish at 10:27 AM on March 10, 2006


I'm trying to picture two jugglers fighting.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:45 AM on March 10, 2006


Then I saw this: There's a lot more to it than moving your balls in time.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:46 AM on March 10, 2006


there's probably a pithy expression for this, something like "preaching to the choir", but I can't think of it
adamrice


"Juggling for the Clowns" perhaps?
posted by DragonBoy at 11:24 AM on March 10, 2006


i didn't really get what was so special about the bliss thing in the first place - seemed to be all about the song, no particularly remarkable juggling - so it's nice to see someone else confirm that.
posted by ab3 at 11:27 AM on March 10, 2006


With a number of circus arts, there are people who are more interested in honing their technical proficiency in ways that only fellow practitioners could possibly appreciate than they are in putting on a good show (there's probably a pithy expression for this, something like "preaching to the choir", but I can't think of it).

Clowning for the clowns?
posted by jtron at 11:36 AM on March 10, 2006


Harsh. That Jason Garfield sure goes straight for the juggler.
posted by rafter at 11:49 AM on March 10, 2006


rafter, ouch.
posted by cgc373 at 11:54 AM on March 10, 2006


The Garfield movie finally downloaded for me. And not to nitpick, but there's no way to prove or disprove that his act wasn't edited together. The other guy was in front of an audience; could this guy find no witnesses to his genius other than a few cameras?
posted by fungible at 12:50 PM on March 10, 2006


I wonder about that... if you're doing it live in front of non-jugglers, it's all about not dropping the balls. Kind of like when people watch gymnastics and only know that the person has to stick the landing. If you do five balls and drop them, people will think you suck.

As far as showmanship, this remind me of when David Blaine first came out and the online magicians were all "he sucks, those are really basic tricks, why is he getting so much attention, wahhhh."
posted by smackfu at 1:06 PM on March 10, 2006


Doesn't it sort of defeat the whole point when two jugglers throw down?
posted by crunchland at 1:27 PM on March 10, 2006


Metafilter: There's a lot more to it than moving your balls in time.

I'm sorry, I had to.
posted by honeyx at 1:39 PM on March 10, 2006


Metafilter: Whether he knew the song intimately or not, he was moving his balls in time

I've never done that before, and never will again. I hope.
posted by dersins at 1:52 PM on March 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


Damn you, honeyx.
posted by dersins at 1:55 PM on March 10, 2006 [1 favorite]


Not to beat a dead horse, but I think the music in the Bliss routine adds a subtle layer of difficulty that the other guy misses: consider that the arc of each throw has to be perfect in terms of height so that the hang time allows him to grab it right on the beat every time. It's like he's playing an instrument. The other guy's routine basically corresponds to the music, but doesn't give the illusion of creating the music. Hence, again, in IMHO it's more riveting.
posted by Toecutter at 6:53 PM on March 10, 2006


oops, bad pronoun . . . it's = the Bliss routine
posted by Toecutter at 6:55 PM on March 10, 2006


Toecutter: It's like he's playing an instrument.

Exactly. And it's like the other guy is doing calisthenics.
posted by peeping_Thomist at 6:59 PM on March 10, 2006


A bit of (late) background-- Garfield was goaded into this by Penn Jillette (hence the "/pennradio" url). He ranted about the Bliss video about 2/3s of the way in here, and he first talks about the Garfield video here.
posted by cosmonaught at 7:51 PM on March 10, 2006


Sorry, those links go directly to mp3's.
Also, IANAJ, but the Galchenko's (quicktime, ~50 MB) are even more impressive, and definitely more likeable then Garfield.
posted by cosmonaught at 8:31 PM on March 10, 2006


the very end of the movie(link 3), dood is juggling 10 balls. Whiney prick yes, but SKILLLLLZ
posted by Tryptophan-5ht at 8:50 PM on March 10, 2006


I hang my head in shame, but I wrote moving his balls in time half-knowing and one-fifth hoping youse MetaFilterians would MetaFilter: it. Mea culpa.
posted by cgc373 at 7:39 AM on March 12, 2006


WWWCFD?

(what would w.c. fields do?)
posted by staggernation at 9:07 PM on April 4, 2006


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