The Bible is perfect in all things. The value of pi is three, dammit.

March 13, 2006 8:29 PM

The Earth is Not Moving. From the foreword: "The second [goal] is to establish a real understanding of how the theory which says that the Earth turns on an axis and orbits the sun has triumphed in spite of having no evidence whatsoever to support it." The explanation of why tides can't possibly be due to the Moon's gravity is particularly enlightening. As Wikipedia's page on modern geocentrism points out, General Relativity says that all frames of reference are equally valid, so at least some of these people aren't completely wrong. Will the return of geocentrism be the next step after creationism? When do we get to burn witches again? First link [via].
posted by Malor (36 comments total)

All Hail Matter indeed!
posted by agent at 8:34 PM on March 13, 2006

Witch burning starts tomorrow. I don't know who forgot to inform you, but its been on the bulletin board for a long time.
posted by j-urb at 8:39 PM on March 13, 2006

I'm not ready! The storm today kept me from getting my torches and pitchforks!
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:40 PM on March 13, 2006

mok...did you really have to mention creationism in the fpp? like we wouldn't think of it?

meh. not a bad post.
posted by es_de_bah at 8:42 PM on March 13, 2006

I'm having a Dr. Bronner's soap label like experience, I think, as I read this :)
posted by bim at 8:44 PM on March 13, 2006

I love the smell of burning witches in the morning.
posted by slickvaguely at 8:44 PM on March 13, 2006

When do we get to burn witches

Wait, do you mean we weren't meant to start yet?

Anyone got a bucket?
posted by pompomtom at 8:45 PM on March 13, 2006

Teach the controversy.
posted by dreamsign at 8:45 PM on March 13, 2006

The last bullet point on this page is especially telling. It was the Jews.
posted by brownpau at 8:47 PM on March 13, 2006

It was the Jews.
I wish you hadn't pointed that out brownpau, now its not funny anymore.
posted by slickvaguely at 8:50 PM on March 13, 2006

I'm still laughing.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:56 PM on March 13, 2006

Now now kids, if the lead singer of Radiohead designed the cover, it must be true.
posted by AllesKlar at 9:01 PM on March 13, 2006

WHAT IF, WHAT IF, WHAT IF....?
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:05 PM on March 13, 2006

every now and then...i begin to sorely doubt the progression of our species.
posted by Doorstop at 9:07 PM on March 13, 2006

"General Relativity says that all frames of reference are equally valid."

GR says no such thing. Special Relativity says that all inertial frames of reference are equally valid, but not all frames of reference are inertial. Any frame of reference which is accelerating or spinning is not inertial.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:13 PM on March 13, 2006

"I wish I were rich - I'd buy copies for all my children and grandchildren and for the schools."
Peggy Wink, Lantana, FL

i think the inherent flaw in your plan, ma'am, is that you are not rich enough for the sole reason that you are idiot enough to waste your money on trash like this.
posted by Doorstop at 9:28 PM on March 13, 2006

Instead of burning witches, why don't we burn the willfully ignorant?

Eh? That'd be a great barbque! We could even get some corporate sponsorship - big banners and only branded beverages on site. Think of the pay-per-view revenues!
posted by PurplePorpoise at 9:52 PM on March 13, 2006

We could even get some corporate sponsorship - big banners and only branded beverages on site. Think of the pay-per-view revenues!

Eh, I'd download it off the internet and fast forward through the commericals.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:47 PM on March 13, 2006

Thank you, Steven!

Always nice to see accuracy make a (brief) appearance here on MeFi.
posted by spincycle at 11:49 PM on March 13, 2006

Wrong, obviously. America is the center of the universe.
posted by sellout at 12:32 AM on March 14, 2006

I thought it was Toronto?
posted by sharpener at 12:39 AM on March 14, 2006

If they don't believe in gravity, will they fall off the Earth?
posted by dangerousdan at 1:31 AM on March 14, 2006

I'd be happy to see the Burning Bush!
posted by phewbertie at 2:28 AM on March 14, 2006

WHAT IF - Kepler's mother was a witch and he was raised a warlock assigned to bump Brahe off, wreck his work, steal his records, and twist them to promote Copernicanism and help pave the way for evolutionism (which he wrote about 250 years before Darwin)?

What if, indeed?
posted by EarBucket at 2:49 AM on March 14, 2006

"[...]General Relativity says that all frames of reference are equally valid[...]"

Oh, and why should I listen to him, pray tell?
posted by PontifexPrimus at 3:51 AM on March 14, 2006

The Christian Bible (and the Koran!) declare the earth to be motionless.

I love it. The Koran is the spawn of Satanic unbelievers who must be wiped from the face of the earth (right after we deal with those damn Jews), but hey! it agrees with my crackpot point, so what the hell, I'll throw it in as added support!

Astro, you can borrow one of my torches, but I've only got the one pitchfork. Sorry.
posted by languagehat at 5:23 AM on March 14, 2006

I keep wondering if this isn't an elaborate prank, or perhaps a production by a group of people to make the Creationists look bad.

Actully, what really puzzles me is that the author doesn't embrace flat-Earthism too. I mean it says clearly in the Bible that the sun goes *DOWN*, obviously the Earth must be flat, establishing an absolute up and down, or else the sun couldn't have gone *DOWN*, right?
posted by sotonohito at 7:20 AM on March 14, 2006

Nothing says intelligent debate like a few "Mama Mia"s thrown in.
posted by GuyZero at 7:38 AM on March 14, 2006

Kepler's mother was a witch and he was raised a warlock assigned to bump Brahe off, wreck his work, steal his records, and twist them to promote Copernicanism and help pave the way for evolutionism (which he wrote about 250 years before Darwin)?

Well, what is interesting about this is that Copernicus was also wrong. Copernicus abandoned the idea of the Earth as the center of the universe, but kept the rather idealized Greek concept of perfect forms, leading him to propose circular orbits. Kepler's earlier failure to develop a model of the solar system also relied on idealized forms by relating the orbits of the planets to geometric solids. Kepler spent over a decade trying to validate the model of Copernicus, only making a breakthrough when he decided Copernicus was wrong.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:00 AM on March 14, 2006

Also, I think the author's moment of lucidity comes with:

By way of contrast, another scholar, a Creationist and a Heliocentrist, says that he:

"...supports inerrancy and the verbal inspiration of the Bible", but nevertheless declares that in all the Scriptures above the Holy Spirit employed a "language of appearance" which gives the reader license to change the meaning to fit the heliocentric teaching. (Dr. DeYoung, Audio tape debate with M. Selbrede)

(Bible believing Christians are urged to try applying DeYoung's "language of appearance" technique to "the evening and the morning were the first [thru sixth] day"...or to the virgin birth...or the resurrection, etc., and see where you come out!)

Once you open the door to doubt about the age of the universe, or the Earth's central place in the universe, you open the door to doubt about the fundamental core of Christianity: mankind was separated from God, God concieved his only son by the Virgin Mary, Jesus was crucified dead and buried, and Jesus rose from the grave to bridge the gap between man and God. This is the moment of vulnerable honesty in this work.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:08 AM on March 14, 2006

I didn't even get to the Jews comment, I stopped paying attention at "For this "concept" (no more or less screwy and unscientific than his daddy Charles’ Evolution "concept"."
posted by pwb503 at 9:35 AM on March 14, 2006

Seriously, if anyone was a warlock it was Brahe: silver and golden nose, kept a clairvoyant dwarf named Jepp under the table and had a tame elk (or moose, wikipedia is a bit ambiguous) that died because it fell down the stairs drunk on beer.

Dude was amazing.
posted by Freen at 9:56 AM on March 14, 2006

Quite amazing what people will do to their brains in order to hide from repeatable, demonstrable reality, eh? :)
posted by zoogleplex at 10:56 AM on March 14, 2006

I can’t wait to go sailing in the ether.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:26 AM on March 14, 2006

Stephen C. Den Beste: I thought I was summarizing this line from the linked Wikipedia article:

The geocentrists that are closest to the scientific mainstream accept essentially all the observations of the mainstream. They point to the theory of general relativity, which says that all physical phenomena can be described and explained self-consistently in any frame of reference. Since the current state of physics does not single out the geocentric frame of reference as special in any way, this group claims the geocentric frame is special for alternate religious reasons.

If my summary was incorrect, my apologies. I'm not at all clear on the differences between Special and General Relativity.

I'd have likely done more research, but I was going for humor value here, not education. :)
posted by Malor at 12:16 PM on March 14, 2006

Obviously this individual (the lunar tides nut) can't grasp a simple concept that neutral gravity in this context just means the forces on either sides are equal, not that they stop at that point. Would he further argue that earth's pull doesn't proceed past that point to eventually reach the moon? Well, I guess he would, since he made up his mind before ever actually looking at the algorithms.

To explain it to him, I propose a rather simple setup: Take 3 metal rods, 7 equal rubber bands, and 1 wooden plank. Mount two rods on the board so they stick out perpendicular to the board's surface and parallel to each other. Hold the third rod between them, and put the 7 rubber bands on the rods so that any 1 band connects one of the mounted rods to the free-floating one. Connect 6 on one side and 1 on the other to simulate the 6:1 earth/moon ratio (I propose 3,1,3 to keep pull more balanced so you don't have to keep holding the free rod). Where the free rod floats between the two is the point of neutrality, but only a fool would argue that the single band and its holding mounted rod isn't exerting any pulling force on the other mounted rod.
posted by mystyk at 10:07 AM on March 15, 2006