Maximizing your ROI at Pizza Hut

March 14, 2006 11:22 AM

Like the salad served at the Pizza Hut but dislike the idea that it’s expensive and you are not allowed to take more than once? Here is a guide on how you can maximize your return of investment, invented by some creative Taiwanese students. [via]
posted by rxrfrx (29 comments total)

I've long been aware of the requirement for, say, lettuce-based structural engineering and carefully layering by weight to maximise the return on a single-serving salad bar, but it's nice to see that someone's finally started to formally quantify it.
posted by mpk at 11:27 AM on March 14, 2006

This is old. But it never gets old if you know what I mean. Unlike the Pizza Hut salad bar, if you know what I mean.

Know what I mean?
posted by Plutor at 11:32 AM on March 14, 2006

Good lord that was great.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:36 AM on March 14, 2006

I now have this strange desire to play Jenga and eat pizza.
posted by Shfishp at 11:37 AM on March 14, 2006

Neat trick, but what the hell kind of salad is that? They've mixed pineapple and peaches with carrot sticks and corn and putting dressing on top.
There are some things one doesn't do just to stick it to the Man.
posted by cardboard at 11:38 AM on March 14, 2006

I've done this sort of thing for a while, although not so obviously thought out. But you can maximize your salad a lot by just stacking large flat lettuce leaves at the bottom, sticking out a bit from the sides of the plate, and then pile other stuff on top.

I almost never eat salad at home, because you need to buy so much stuff to make a good one. Salad bars are good that way, and usually not too expensive.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 11:40 AM on March 14, 2006

Neat trick, but what the hell kind of salad is that?

Chinese Pizza Hut salad
posted by rxrfrx at 11:41 AM on March 14, 2006

I'm with cardboard. Am I really looking at peaches, pineapple, carrots, cucumbers, raisins, corn and pudding? I admire the structural engineering, but that's just gross.

And the pragmatist in me suggests just going to a salad bar that allows multiple trips.
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:43 AM on March 14, 2006

While the weird fruit/dressing combo is mildly gross, they're eating at Pizza Hut. They haven't even touched the potential for grossness that exists under that roof.
posted by birdie birdington at 11:49 AM on March 14, 2006

Always start your salad bar salad by putting dressing on the plate. That way, when you get to the bottom, you still have some dressing for the stray bits of salad that remain.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:50 AM on March 14, 2006

Back in high school, the local Pizza Hut had a deal where if they didn't bring out your order in X minutes, you ate free. They gauged this by putting a timer on your table when your server took the order.

We stole a timer and would bring it with us, starting the timer before the order was taken. Ate free quite often. Maximum ROI.

As for the salad mentioned in the FPP, that is disgusting. Fruit does not belong in a salad, unless it is fruit salad.
posted by poppo at 11:54 AM on March 14, 2006

Here is a guide on how you can maximize your return of investment rip off Pizza Hut, invented employed by some creative cheap-ass Taiwanese students
posted by prostyle at 11:54 AM on March 14, 2006

Lifehacks from MeFi.
posted by raedyn at 11:56 AM on March 14, 2006

Who the hell eats salad at Pizza Hut?

I'd much prefer to go to Olive Garden and play the Olive Garden Salad Game.

HOSPITALIANO Dammit!
posted by Otis at 11:57 AM on March 14, 2006

I can't remember the last time I ate lettuce from a salad bar.

( btw, single-link blog entry ;-P )
posted by mischief at 11:58 AM on March 14, 2006

(And the pragmatist in me suggests just going to a salad bar that allows multiple trips.

Perhaps, but that wouldn't get you linked on boingboing, and then metafilter, 4 months later, would it?
posted by crunchland at 11:59 AM on March 14, 2006

the site is crawling. someone mirror it before it craps out.
posted by lemonfridge at 12:01 PM on March 14, 2006

Good lord, could that blog have a few more ads on it? Feh.
posted by monju_bosatsu at 12:06 PM on March 14, 2006

have a few more ads

Adblock Plus, monju. Adblock Plus.
posted by rxrfrx at 12:12 PM on March 14, 2006

I thought the first like was a comparison, i.e. what you were linking to was "like a pizza hut salad" but unlike "the idea that it's expensive..."

I was wondering, what could possibly have those properties?
posted by delmoi at 12:15 PM on March 14, 2006

A Pizza Hut salad, perhaps?
posted by rxrfrx at 12:17 PM on March 14, 2006

A Chinese Pizza Hut salad, perhaps?
posted by rxrfrx at 12:17 PM on March 14, 2006

All this is going to lead to is cubed carrots. ( Or a big sign that says All engineered salads subject to overcharge!
posted by R. Mutt at 12:29 PM on March 14, 2006

And you guys complain about Halliburton?
posted by HTuttle at 2:14 PM on March 14, 2006

I almost never eat salad at home, because you need to buy so much stuff to make a good one.

Greens, carrots, nuts, cheese, tomatoes, balsamic vinegar, dijon (plus corn, beans, etc.). It's not hard. Honest. Just don't buy too much of the ingredients--almost all are bulk items.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:23 PM on March 14, 2006

My favorite comment from the link, by Adam, a Pizza Hut employee:

due what the fuck! i work at a pizza hut, and yeah that funny but fucking a. you would so get kicked out. dont get me started on customers. but yeah thats funny but yeah….
posted by ktoad at 2:47 PM on March 14, 2006

the site is crawling. someone mirror it before it craps out.

Here it is, all Coral cache'd.
posted by hangashore at 2:59 PM on March 14, 2006

.02$: Asians don't have nearly the salty-sweet barrier/tabboo that Western folks do, or at least their palates.

That said, the salad does look kind of gross. But I'd give it a try.
posted by bardic at 4:43 PM on March 14, 2006

The game that Otis links to (Grated Cheese Chicken) sounds way more fun. I laughed.
posted by raedyn at 6:31 AM on March 15, 2006