Rent-a-Realdoll

March 15, 2006 6:09 PM

Milky Lovers (NSFW) is a love doll brothel: Being not to be the woman of the raw body, there is no inconvenience, there is no how thing where "affinity of the girl is not agreeable". Manner of play spreads unlimited with imaginative power circumstance of the customer. Combination and double of each course, the triple is possible. From everyone the large quantity inquiring, thank you for. [via sexblo.gs]
posted by If I Had An Anus (27 comments total)

This is wonderful! Teaches the kids to share their toys.
posted by fungible at 6:26 PM on March 15, 2006

This post is an example of that username/post subject synchronicity thing, isn't it?
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:29 PM on March 15, 2006

Is it just me or do all the dolls look...underage?
posted by arcticwoman at 6:30 PM on March 15, 2006

Valley valley uncanny.
posted by dhartung at 6:37 PM on March 15, 2006

Pass the Dutchy on the left hand side.
posted by tellurian at 6:38 PM on March 15, 2006

"There is no excuse, but we have become prohibition." Yeah I don't know if it's the schoolgirl dresses or the notepaper background but the entire site has a "have sex with twelve year olds" vibe. Interesting find IIHAA.
posted by jessamyn at 6:38 PM on March 15, 2006

Didn't someone recently become the first person to be arrested for possessing virtual child pornography? (I'm not foolish enough to do the search myself)
posted by furtive at 6:56 PM on March 15, 2006

This is sexy how? Should I be attracted to hideous unnameable deformity?
posted by dgaicun at 7:19 PM on March 15, 2006

You guys won't believe this, but I worked with this one guy like 4 years ago who had the idea to rent out RealDolls. I totally thought that he was crazy., but apparently he was just in the wrong country.

I would totally shit myself if I found out that he was the one behind all this.
posted by Afroblanco at 7:24 PM on March 15, 2006

God knows this brings me to near orgasm.
posted by dgaicun at 7:25 PM on March 15, 2006

So we pretty much have a hierarchy of sexual loserism:

- People who have to have sex with prostitutes.
- People who have to have sex with sex dolls.
- People who have to have sex with rented sex dolls.
- People who have to have sex with soup cans.
- People who have to have sex with rented sex soup cans.

. . .

- People who wank with those manga doll atrocities.

By the way, I've got a great deal on my sex cans, folks. It's like the new NetFlix. An important reminder though, I have already eaten all the soup; this isn't a catering service.
posted by dgaicun at 7:45 PM on March 15, 2006

No soup?

meh.

If I can't fuck a good can of rented soup, I might as well stay home.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:57 PM on March 15, 2006

Did somebody say soup fucking? What flavor? Screw it, I'm there.
posted by mk1gti at 8:02 PM on March 15, 2006

You can have sex with soup cans?
...

Information filed for later use.



By the way, did your list have the biggest loosers on top or on bottom? Because I may feel the need to defend my cartoon porn collection.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:03 PM on March 15, 2006

Well, in Japan you can have sex with a can, but not exactly a soup can.
posted by MythMaker at 8:31 PM on March 15, 2006

My brother once worked with a guy who told him, in all seriousness..."if you can cook it, I can fuck it."

Recipes, anyone?
posted by diastematic at 8:44 PM on March 15, 2006

That link was hilarious, MythMaker--I now know I must visit Japan before I die.
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:50 PM on March 15, 2006

I feel sorry for people who view bizarre crap on the internet and think "Wow, that's what Japan's like, eh?" and want to visit for that reason.
Props to tellurian though, for the reference.
posted by nightchrome at 9:22 PM on March 15, 2006

You can have sex with soup cans?

Oh sure. How do you think clam chowder is made?
posted by LordSludge at 12:50 AM on March 16, 2006

"Edwynn Houk Gallery presents the first New York solo exhibition of Elena Dorfman's series, "Still Lovers", a series of documentary photographs exploring the relationship between silicone sex dolls and their owners. The project that began as an investigation into the world of hyper-realistic sex dolls, soon unveiled more complex and unexpected associations." (Link)
posted by dgaicun at 2:04 AM on March 16, 2006

Awww. I am deeply touched by the profound love this man feels for his sex doll.
posted by dgaicun at 2:08 AM on March 16, 2006

MythMaker, that made me laugh harder than anything I've read in a long time. I was looking for an excerpt to quote here, but it's all gold. Thanks.

I loved this bit from IIHAA's "no inconvenience" link (Google-translated Milky Lovers instructions):

Reservation time is not exceeded, please pay attention your sea urchin.

Of course, as they say:
We have written on the basis of the indication of wind barracks method.

I intend to write everything on that basis from now on.
posted by languagehat at 6:04 AM on March 16, 2006

- People who wank with those manga doll atrocities.

Heh. The last time we were in a sex shop in Raleigh we took note of the sex dolls that advertised themselves as "anime characters." So for men who are scared to fuck real women, there are sex dolls. And for men who are scared to fuck dolls based on real women, there are dolls based on cartoon characters.

So what have we got for men who are too scared to fuck dolls based on cartoon characters? Dolls based on cartoon animals? Cartoon apple pies? Cartoon knotholes in wood?
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 8:26 AM on March 16, 2006

Nanotech, cybercomputer linked brains typing, screwing real dolls in cheap Japanese hotels....man who the hell needs William Gibson, we're living cyberpunk now.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:23 AM on March 16, 2006

No kidding, Smedleyman. It's like all the sci-fi books I read as a kid are coming true, at a faster and faster rate.

In 2000, it didn't feel like the future.

In 2006, it does. Maybe i'm just paying better attention.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:27 AM on March 16, 2006

diastematic, how about 5 alarm chili?
posted by Suparnova at 2:31 PM on March 16, 2006

Well, in Japan you can have sex with a can, but not exactly a soup can.

Dude! Just, dude:

I now own my very own toy of a little girl squatting to pee . . . How fucking creepy is that? As you can see from the flyer included in the capsule (note the kiddie crayon font), the other toys in the assortment include little girls spreading their legs, little girls sucking suggestively on popsicles, and little girls dry-humping their teddy bears . . . Incredibly, incredibly disturbing. And let me remind you, I didn't find these in some seedy back alley - all of these machines were right on the sidewalks in busy shopping areas.

I mean the one in the upper lefthand corner. Dude.

I've quoted it before, and I'll no doubt quote it many more times in the future:

"As for the animated porn I did watch in hopes of gleaning some insight into the Japanese id? I have this to say: Go away, Japanese id! You are scary! I am scared of you!"
posted by dgaicun at 2:58 PM on March 16, 2006