Comments on: Snakes On A Plane

Snakes On A Plane

pwb503 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:43:57 -0800

about "Snakes On A Plane" last summer, but since the thread is closed and this trailer really deserves to be seen... Here you go. [youtube] For those of you yet unaware, prepare yourself for my nomination for "worst movie ever."

By: Laen

Laen — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:47:00 -0800

Take _that_, DHS.

By: interrobang

interrobang — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:47:02 -0800

More like best movie ever!

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:48:13 -0800

Hey, there's snakes on this plane!

By: mathowie

mathowie — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:49:13 -0800

Budding musicians should check out the soundtrack contest to get their music into the best/worst movie of all time.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:50:43 -0800

"Bomb squad missed them. Particle detection missed them. And the goddamn infrared team missed them. Because the fucking bastards are cold-blooded."

By: luftmensch

luftmensch — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:51:37 -0800

I hope there will be some totally out-of-place political or moral editorializing about the current state of our nation thrown in there at some point amid all the screaming and lack of plot.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:55:20 -0800

I hope we get to see lots of people get bit in the face, preferably by snakes falling out of overhead compartments.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:55:44 -0800

Amazing. That totally lived up to my expectations. I can't wait!

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:55:50 -0800

This movie is going to be awesome beyond words.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:55:52 -0800

The movie Sam Jackson decided to do without even reading the script.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:56:26 -0800

Awww, I like this one better.

By: rand

rand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:57:21 -0800

Those are some fantastic CGI snakes...made me almost believe that there was snakes on that plane!

By: Plutor

Plutor — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:58:45 -0800

pwb503, do you come from a country where they don't have irony?

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:58:48 -0800

The movie Sam Jackson decided to do without even reading the script. The?

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 11:59:44 -0800

Take _that_, DHS. posted by Laen at 2:47 PM EST on March 17 [!] *enters "bin" Laen's name in secret database*

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:00:19 -0800

I hope the whole movie is just second-long shots of people being attacked by snakes - on a plane. I bet they ruin it by giving it a plot and characters and other guff.

By: furiousxgeorge

furiousxgeorge — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:00:23 -0800

This movie delivers exactly what it promised.

By: Meccabilly

Meccabilly — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:01:07 -0800

Psst! Don't look if you don't want SPOILERS but here is the script! "Snakes On A Plane" Written by Sucky Mc Hack Samuel L. Jackson boards a plane SLJ: Woah Motherf**cker, this is one comfy plane seat! Love interest: I'm really scared of flying - and terrorists! SLJ: Don't worry! I'm one of those secret air marshals.... No terrorists will get through on my shift. No motherf**ker is gonna mess with my bad ass! cut to plane hold where SNAKES escape! Pilot: Hey folkes, we're now travelling at 500,000 ft, so there is no possible escape - i mean... you're all very safe. SLJ: Motherf**ker Suddenly a SNAKE attacks the Pilot Pilot: ARRRGGG! Snakes now everywhere SLJ: There's are motherf**king snakes on this plane! I'll kill you snakes! SLJ kills a bunch of snakes as a bunch of faceless extras die - SLJ saves the love interest. The plane almost crashes, but SLJ lands it safely. SLJ: ....and you will know my name is the lawwwd.... and so on...

By: bardic

bardic — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:02:01 -0800

Just wait till they do the porn version.

By: Drexen

Drexen — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:02:19 -0800

I believe this movie will be responsible for the propagation of the word I just made up: bestworst.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:02:27 -0800

Oh, mr_crash_davis... oh my... I smell a best supporting nom for the O RLY? Owl...

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:03:33 -0800

Bardic: Snakes in Taylor Rain?

By: KirkJobSluder

KirkJobSluder — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:04:10 -0800

For those of you yet unaware, prepare yourself for my nomination for "worst movie ever." I'd have to say that being intentionally bad should be an automatic disqualification. The really bad movies are the ones made with horrifying combination of good intentions and utter incompetence.

By: BobFrapples

BobFrapples — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:05:05 -0800

I hope this film starts a trend... "Bears on a Boat" "Lions on a RollerCoaster" "Bees on a Wheelchair" Go Hollywood!

By: BobFrapples

BobFrapples — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:05:32 -0800

Just wait till they do the porn version. Gapes on a Plane

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:07:00 -0800

They need to hire my three-year-old daughter to help with the script. When she wants to act scared when we're playing together, she will insist that snakes and polar bears are trying to get us. We jump under the covers to protect ourselves, only because we don't have the SJ option.

By: bitdamaged

bitdamaged — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:07:40 -0800

Gotta love a movie where one of the main writers only previous movie work was as the Web Designer

By: Debaser626

Debaser626 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:08:03 -0800

Hamsters in m butt

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:09:13 -0800

Hey, there's bees on this wheelchair!

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:09:20 -0800

Wow. That's exactly what I expected. Good job, Hollywood!

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:10:27 -0800

I hope the whole movie is just second-long shots of people being attacked by snakes - on a plane. I bet they ruin it by giving it a plot and characters and other guff. I had similar hopes about Alien vs Predator. Lesson: Hollywood always manages to disappoint. My roommate said to me yesterday "Snakes on a Plane? I think I heard about that movie - what's it about?"

By: TheFeatheredMullet

TheFeatheredMullet — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:14:33 -0800

This has to be a hoax. SLJ is soooo much better than this. Is his agent mad at him or something?

By: Prospero

Prospero — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:14:47 -0800

I am not at all condemning this post as Pepsi Blue (for, truly, it is the best of the web), but this movie is benefitting from what seems to be the largest group of voluntary viral marketers in the history of the Internet. (I've e-mailed a friend myself with a link to the trailer, and this afternoon four of the sites I visited all had links to this trailer, which I think went live at around noon today.) It's as if the filmmakers have managed to make the cinematic equivalent of Chuck Norris Facts or All Your Base--people even outside the regular Hollywood-movie-geek online communities have been talking about this film online on a regular basis for well over a year. Not even Superman Returns is getting that kind of free publicity.

By: picea

picea — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:15:51 -0800

Wait... this is real? I thought this was just an internet in-joke. My mind, she is blown.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:16:45 -0800

Is his agent mad at him or something? Why would he be mad? He gets 15%, dude.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:17:02 -0800

I think we need to start a pool: How many times will a snake be shown biting someone on what I shall delicately refer to as "a sensitive area not displayable on television"? Also: the porn version would be "Grapes on a Dame", and would be one of those rare porn versions of mainstream movies that actually have a higher budget than, and are better-produced than, the mainstream movie. Anyone have a link to "Snakes on a plane!" bumper stickers? Finally: I'm totally submitting a song to that contest. I think I will use my ukulele

By: brownpau

brownpau — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:17:26 -0800

By: I Foody

I Foody — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:18:37 -0800

Seriously though, how scared would you be if your plane had snakes on it? I'm guessing really scared! So don't make fun of the movie because if it was real it would be scary.

By: palinode

palinode — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:19:55 -0800

I'm waiting for Beedogs on a plane.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:19:56 -0800

Best thing to come out of Hollywood since Kingdom of the Spiders.

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:20:35 -0800

There's also several unofficial T-shirts available

By: drstein

drstein — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:20:41 -0800

What really sucks is that when this is a total disaster at the box office, the asshats at the MPAA will blame it on all of the 'internet pirates' and lobby for more restrictive copyrights. They'll be oblivious to the fact that this could very well be the worst movie in the history of movies. On the other hand, it might be entertaining for the ridiculous violence. heh.

By: tittergrrl

tittergrrl — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:22:04 -0800

It is very much a real movie. On top of that, it is also the most HONEST film coming out this year. Vote Snakes On A Plane in 2006.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:23:45 -0800

Trivia from IMDB: 'Samuel L. Jackson only signed on for this film because the title was "Snakes on a Plane". When the film makers tried to change it to "Flight 121", Jackson was adamant to keep it "Snakes on a Plane". ' Which is too awesome. Thanks for posting this again in a total OMG-WTF-BBQ moment.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:23:56 -0800

They'll be oblivious to the fact that this could very well be the worst movie in the history of movies. There is no way that this statement is remotely true.

By: crawl

crawl — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:24:11 -0800

Might be worth listenening to All Things Considered's interview with Samuel L. Jackson (about Freedomland), where he talks about his motivation for doing this movie.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:24:14 -0800

You know, the funniest thing about the movie "Dodge Ball" was the montage of a guy getting hit with thrown wrenches. If this movie has a similar montage -- wait, if this movie IS a similar montage, over the course of two hours -- I'm totally on board.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:24:36 -0800

The porn version will obviously be called Skanks Run A Train.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:25:21 -0800

GuyZero, thanks for pointing that out. My Samuel L Jackson love just went up several notches. On a side note, did you know he has an on-set hair stylist? Who makes BIG bucks? And yet, has no hair? Gotta love it.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:25:32 -0800

In a just world, the theater would go dark and the title would come up: SNAKES ON A PLANE And then the "PLANE" would slide down to make room, and the title would be completed: SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE And the porn version would be "Snakes in a Poontang" Don't forget the alternate version with Kurt Russell: Snake's On A Plane.

By: IronLizard

IronLizard — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:26:01 -0800

Drexen writes "I believe this movie will be responsible for the propagation of the word I just made up: bestworst." Too bad you've probably been beaten to it by a German sausage company.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:26:37 -0800

this could very well be the worst movie in the history of movies. I guarantee it'll be a better movie than "Forrest Gump".

By: PurplePorpoise

PurplePorpoise — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:28:17 -0800

I can't wait for Snakes on a Plane II: Slither Stronger.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:28:22 -0800

mr_crash's is better!

By: keswick

keswick — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:29:08 -0800

This is the best thing to ever appear of MetaFilter.

By: beerbajay

beerbajay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:29:13 -0800

This is actually a pretty good shirt design. Cute snakes. Hubba.

By: jouke

jouke — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:29:39 -0800

bestworst: Too bad you've probably been beaten to it by a German sausage company. Make that a Dutch sausage company.

By: n-clue

n-clue — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:30:29 -0800

Totally thought this was a MeFi catchphrase whose origins I couldn't figure out. The fact that this is real has significantly brightened my day. Is there a release date?

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:35:25 -0800

Totally thought this was a MeFi catchphrase whose origins I couldn't figure out. Actually, that's how it began. That a movie identically titled has been found to be in production for years is irrefutable proof of backwards causality. The meme is provably prior to the reality. Shocking, yet true. Coming in 2012: Aliens invade, taking off every zig, and appropriating all your base. Also, archaeologists uncover the bones of a huge manatee.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:35:36 -0800

Is there a release date? I'm sure it's already available in Times Square or on the streets of Beijing or Mexico City!

By: The Jesse Helms

The Jesse Helms — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:35:56 -0800

This may be the first stoner movie of 2006.

By: iamck

iamck — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:36:03 -0800

This is going to be a good movie IF they've considered the pre-hype, and IF they decide to approach it ironically. But it has to be over the top.

By: kindall

kindall — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:36:25 -0800

I believe this movie will be responsible for the propagation of the word I just made up: bestworst. Too bad you've probably been beaten to it by a German sausage company. Steve Gould also used it for a name for a character in one of his SF novels (Wildside I think). "I can be your best friend or your worst enemy," this spook says, and the protagonist dubs him Mr. Bestworst since he won't reveal his true name. But... SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!

By: Dr-Baa

Dr-Baa — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:36:39 -0800

I Find Your Lack of Faith Disturbing was where I first heard about it, via Metafilter, of course. Upon watching the trailer, the cliché "awesomely bad" came to mind. They'd better not kill the cat, though.

By: BlackLeotardFront

BlackLeotardFront — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:38:10 -0800

wow, after watching the preview I was completely convinced this was a hoax. Now, I see that it is real and I'm throwing up all over myself. But that shirt is cool, beerbajay.

By: beerbajay

beerbajay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:38:19 -0800

The related point in the NPR interview starts at 10:50. "You don't have to think about what's happening. You know what's gonna happen. There's gonna be snakes loose on this plane. Some people are gonna get bitten."

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:39:14 -0800

Porn Title: "Snake Causes Pain"

By: stenseng

stenseng — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:40:16 -0800

Okay, first, this is awesome. second, the porn version would be "Tubesnakes on a Plane" duh.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:41:01 -0800

Sharks. On a plane. In tanks. That break and flood the cabin.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:42:56 -0800

The snakes, they're getting smarter. And somewhat longer.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:43:08 -0800

Bah. The cool film to watch wil be Stakes on a Plane, featuring a chartered flight to a vampires' convention which goes awry when longtime fueds erupt at several thousand feet...and only three hours before sunrise.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:44:57 -0800

Also worth watching: Brakes on a Plane, a documentary about the method used to stop that plane in mid-air right before Bugs Bunny would have been killed.

By: almostcool

almostcool — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:45:19 -0800

Timmy, have you ever seen a grown man naked? Timmy, do you like movies about SNAKES ON A MOTHERFUCKIN' PLANE!

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:45:59 -0800

New Fox reality show: Skates on a Plane (with Celebrities!)

By: The Jesse Helms

The Jesse Helms — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:47:50 -0800

There's also a variety of sequal options. Snakes in a Camry. Snakes in the Rice Field. Snakes Take Charge. Bubble Bath Snakes. The Snake That Finally Got That Bitch Riki Tiki Tavi.

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:47:58 -0800

"Shakes on a Plane" starring Katherine Hepburn

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:48:55 -0800

Sharks. On a plane. In tanks. That break and flood the cabin. posted by _sirmissalot_ at 3:41 PM EST on March 17 [!] "Whatever you do Johnson, just keep this plane climbing!"

By: brain_drain

brain_drain — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:49:01 -0800

By: Fenriss

Fenriss — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:49:30 -0800

They'd better not kill the cat, though. That is precisely what I've been thinking :(

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:49:46 -0800

(just fell over)

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:49:57 -0800

How about a BJ series Snakes On The Brain? Eh? Eh?

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:50:17 -0800

must...resist...urge...to...open...photo...editor...

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:53:26 -0800

Snakes on a Blog {maintained by my friend Soren}. For all your SoaP needs. This movie will only be upstaged by its sequel: Snakes on a Bus That Can't Go Below 50 MPH.

By: prostyle

prostyle — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:54:39 -0800

The Snake That Finally Got That Bitch Riki Tiki Tavi. HA HA!

By: The Jesse Helms

The Jesse Helms — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:54:43 -0800

By: matteo

matteo — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:56:16 -0800

his motivation for doing this movie. cash in a wallet?

By: hattifattener

hattifattener — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:56:54 -0800

The porn version will be Fakes on a Plane, in which a planeload of, uh, amateur porn actresses on their way to the Porn Olympics realize that some competitors have been surgically enhanced! A thorough investigation ensues.

By: adrianhon

adrianhon — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:57:29 -0800

I'll admit it took me about 30 seconds to figure that one out brain_drain... but it was worth it!

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:58:40 -0800

Okay, silliness aside: the reason this title is so key is that it perfectly captures our presumptions of how movies are "made" in hollywood. We've all pictured a room full of executives sitting around combining title s of hit movies to come up with a new concept. It's been immortalized as a given in just about every satirical outlet imaginable at one point or another, including within movies. So this is our accepted cultural image of hollywood. The thing is, up until now, even though everyone seems to believe that's how hollywood works, you (individually, YOU) never quite bought it all the way. On some level, you still bought into the hype of hollywood, that there is some kind of magical allure to the whole thing, that it's something more than a money mill. Then you suddenly see the title "Snakes on a Plane" with Samuel L Jackson in the lead role, and that last little core of belief is shattered completely. Fantastic. I may see it twice.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 12:59:00 -0800

Frakes on a Maine is funnier than Jake's by a Spain. I'm leaving this thread and not looking back. I'm leaving this thread and not looking back. I'm...

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:00:21 -0800

You know, I still stand by my original porn title of "Grapes on a Dame", and felt that perhaps the first time you all read it, you didn't realize I was envisioning a porn movie starring a transsexual. So I thought I'd mention it. Probably shouldn't have. I'm sorry.

By: maryh

maryh — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:01:10 -0800

Cougars in an Elevator. Earwigs in a Cubicle. Sharks in a Safe Room. Nothing can compare to "Snakes on a [MothaFuckin'] Plane." It is simply perfection. And no movie can ever live up to that title.

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:02:11 -0800

davejay: we know what grapes are. Hairy Grapes BMX.

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:06:01 -0800

True, sonofsamiam, but I thought perhaps people were picturing someone else's grapes on the dame. why am I even having this conversation?

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:06:37 -0800

Just as Jaws made thousands of people fear swimming in the ocean, this movie will make us think twice before going into the movie theater again.

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:07:47 -0800

I thought perhaps people were picturing someone else's grapes on the dame. There's no reason to not have it both ways, really.

By: MrMoonPie

MrMoonPie — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:07:49 -0800

Snakin' a drain:

By: MiltonRandKalman

MiltonRandKalman — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:09:41 -0800

The only thing more dangerous: Snakes with a Plane

By: davejay

davejay — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:10:14 -0800

It took a while, but strangeleftyodublethink wins.

By: metaculpa

metaculpa — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:11:26 -0800

"Bees on a Wheelchair" OH MY GOD YES

By: milquetoast

milquetoast — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:14:56 -0800

Bah. This is just a shot-for-shot remake of the Hitchcock version. And that was just a stale postmodern retread of the 1928 Keaton classic, "Heavens! There Are Serpents Loose in the Trolley!"

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:15:32 -0800

Snakes On A Plane: an Alcoholic woodworker deals with the heartbreak of delirium tremens.

By: knave

knave — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:19:06 -0800

By: antifreez_

antifreez_ — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:19:46 -0800

I'm looking forward to the much-anticipated sequel, FARTS IN AN ELEVATOR.

By: Surfurrus

Surfurrus — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:20:13 -0800

Snakes ... St. Patrick's Day ... and 'snake-less' Hawai'i ........ SO ... "snakes on a plane" is a much more horrifying idea to us in Hawai'i than just hearing of ppl on plane getting bitten.

... if the brown tree snake were to become established here ... Most of our remaining native forest birds would go extinct, power outages and cases of infant envenomation would probably be fairly frequent, and the tourist industry would possibly suffer from the negative publicity.

THAT is a horror movie script.

By: concreteforest

concreteforest — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:22:15 -0800

"people should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of SNAKES ON A PLANE!"

By: Aknaton

Aknaton — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:24:21 -0800

There are YouTube links to homebrewed trailers for SoaP that are better than the real one.

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:24:47 -0800

I heard that Snoop is making a sequel to his big movie from last year... Snacks on a Plane: Soul Plane II

By: Jairus

Jairus — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:25:01 -0800

This thread is quickly devolving into a SomethingAwful thread without any of the wit.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:26:34 -0800

Oh really? No wait, I did that wrong...

By: youarenothere

youarenothere — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:26:57 -0800

Wacko Jacko's in Bahrain.

By: knave

knave — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:27:39 -0800

Oui, vraiment.

By: Surfurrus

Surfurrus — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:37:02 -0800

Humor! Whoops ... sorry ... HUMOR! The sequel -- "Snake Biting -- the Revenge."

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:38:23 -0800

This thread is quickly devolving into a SomethingAwful thread without any of the wit. go back to gbs :fry:

By: sonofsamiam

sonofsamiam — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:39:05 -0800

At the end, the camera zooms out to reveal the screenwriter looking thoughtfully at his monitor. He pours a shot, walks to the window (night) and looks out. He opens a drawer takes out a pistol and...does he put it to his head?...no, too much. He looks at it, and returns it to the drawer. VOICEOVER: Was this what my life had come to? It seems too... I don't know. Not trite, necessarily. Although my actions moments ago, contemplating suicide, suffering from the existential blues, that was trite. I felt as though I simply couldn't go on, and couldn't stop. I could hear my second wife, asleep. I sit, time passes, none of it signifies anything for me anymore... I felt equally as though my script was a microcosm of the wider world, but that in itself meant nothing when the world was the whole system that enabled such a movie in the first place... Would a self-reference at the end of the film provide the deeper resonance, any sort of resonance, beyond the simulacrum I "saw" around me? Maybe. It would be hip, I guess. Or are those sorts of things cliches now, too? Adaptation and all... Irony has no bottom, and neither do I. The camera could pan out again, revealing the revelation as a post on an internet message board... No. There was nothing for it. I resolved to put the matter out of my mind. It wasn't that the studio would hate it, but that they might love it. "Snakes on a plane." Huh. ~FIN~

By: darkstar

darkstar — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:41:47 -0800

As a friend recently mentioned, this is the first time I've ever heard of a movie becoming a cult classic before anyone has even seen it. Go HOLLYWOOD!

By: Faze

Faze — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:48:56 -0800

"Infant envenomation" Incredible.

By: symphonik

symphonik — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:54:51 -0800

Without a doubt, the most brilliant marketing campaign by a studio. Ever. Snakes on a Plane is going to generate a lot of revenue purely because of saps like us. Snakes on a motherf'in plane!

By: mckenney

mckenney — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:56:41 -0800

But it has to be over the top. I don't think you get more over the top than pepper-spraying a snake. Maybe if he had punched it.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 13:57:35 -0800

I still cling to the forlorn and rapidly diminishing hope that this is all an elaborate practical joke. At this point, since it's probably gone on too long to be anything but a painful reality, I can console myself that I'll get to read an enjoyable Roger Ebert writeup on it.

By: annieb

annieb — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:01:24 -0800

porn title: "Snake is Aflame".

By: longbaugh

longbaugh — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:17:59 -0800

Reminds of an old MeCha thread where we attempted to make up new movies for SLJ to appear in that would allow him to a) play golf at nearby ranges and b) pay off his mortgage. A few examples below fwiw... "The Legend of Baghdad Vance" Samuel L Jackson is a USMC Captain who is sent to Guantanamo Bay to interrogate prisoners. When he discovers a young golfing genius he and his protege plot to escape to take part in a series of golf matches whilst dodging the military police sent to get them back. Scorpions on a Bus Can Samuel L. Jackson save the 80's rock legends when their tour bus is hijacked by a desperate and confused Sandra Bullock? This film will rock you like a FEMA-botched hurricane! "Brakes On A Crane!" Samuel L Jackson plays blue collar Mitch Mitchelson who by day is a semi-pro golfer and by night works the late shift on the docks. All is fine in Mitch's life until an out of control crane nearly destroys a local children's hospice. Can Mitch act in time to save the poor little orphans? "Planes on a Snake!" Samuel L Jackson is a carpenter shrunk to a tiny size by voodoo magic. He builds a wood-frame cabin on the back of a spitting cobra and starts a shelter for wayward flea circus clowns. Also staring Jennifer Love Hewitt. All posts (c) their original creators etc.

By: The Great Big Mulp

The Great Big Mulp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:20:06 -0800

davejay: I, too, shall enter this contest. And may the best ukulelist win.

By: The Great Big Mulp

The Great Big Mulp — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:20:50 -0800

(I might cheat and use some kazoos, too.)

By: agregoli

agregoli — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:35:22 -0800

I can't wait either. Best movie of the year.

By: bardic

bardic — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:37:12 -0800

I've heard the snakes are straight though, so it won't have a shot at an Oscar.

By: Kifer85

Kifer85 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:38:14 -0800

im with symphonic on this one. this is epochal.

By: iviken

iviken — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:40:51 -0800

A true story - Trouser Snake On A Plane: March 21 2000: "Frenchman smuggled snake in underwear. A customs sniffer dog at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris was taken by surprise when a suspicious bulge in an arriving passenger's trousers turned out to a live boa constrictor."

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:42:16 -0800

Wouldn't the porn version be called 'Snakes In A Dame'?

By: Kifer85

Kifer85 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:45:10 -0800

does it bother anyone that john heffernan's only other credit is as a web site designer? HOW DID THEY DO THIS?

By: iviken

iviken — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:47:41 -0800

Will they make Snakes On A Plane - with bunnies?

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:58:45 -0800

For my 500th MeFi comment: Tiger, Orangutan & Hyena On A Boat

By: Fezboy!

Fezboy! — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 14:59:59 -0800

Political porn: Snakes in the Plame

By: PontifexPrimus

PontifexPrimus — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:07:17 -0800

iviken: "Will they make Snakes On A Plane - with bunnies?" Well, there is a "Bunny" - comic on the topic: (Yes, I know it's a different bunny. Be quiet.)

By: joseph_elmhurst

joseph_elmhurst — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:09:22 -0800

By: wilky

wilky — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:14:15 -0800

Couldn't you just turn down the temperature in the plane to make the snakes docile? Being cold blooded and all?

By: Mister Cheese

Mister Cheese — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:18:40 -0800

Seriously, wilky, posting your first metafilter post on the "snakes in a plane" thread? God. Anyways, I betcha that Samuel Jackson shoots at a snake, it opens a hole in the plane, and that's how you get the temperature to drop, no? Makes sense. Or just decrease the cabin pressure to make it colder. What's with all this shooting snakes nonsense?

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:18:43 -0800

does it bother anyone that john heffernan's only other credit is as a web site designer? No. Why? He sold a script. Good for him.

By: felix

felix — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:20:41 -0800

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:21:08 -0800

Wouldn't the porn version be called 'Snakes In A Dame'? Yes.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:42:56 -0800

Snakes Is A Shame

By: shmegegge

shmegegge — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:48:42 -0800

this thread should be sidebarred. I heart all of you.

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 15:53:23 -0800

Spoiler alert: The movie ends when Samuel L. Jackson puts on a parachute, grabs a flute, opens the emergency exit, and jumps out of the plane while playing the flute. All the snakes follow him, thus ridding the plane of snakes forever.

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 16:00:32 -0800

And then, when the airlines refuses to pay him, he rids another plane of all its children in the sequel. Snakes on a Plane 2: Revenge of the Piper

By: Aknaton

Aknaton — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 16:09:16 -0800

By: strangeleftydoublethink

strangeleftydoublethink — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 16:34:01 -0800

By: darkstar

darkstar — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:05:18 -0800

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:16:48 -0800

You Tube took the link down, we need another location. I didn't see it.

By: cosmonaught

cosmonaught — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:35:34 -0800

It's posted here.

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:44:12 -0800

Yeah, I missed the trailer, too. Try here, scroll to bottom. SoaP is why I go to movies. Dame Judi Dench can suck it.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 17:58:11 -0800

I'm voting for "Greatest Movie of All Time". Hot damn.

By: _sirmissalot_

_sirmissalot_ — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:02:41 -0800

Okay, cakes on a David Blaine made me laugh. My favorite part of the trailer is definitely the guy in the pink shirt who is screaming while holding a fairly small, reluctant-looking snake up to his face. And then he turns to the camera and continues to scream like a girl. Good stuff.

By: fungible

fungible — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:12:20 -0800

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:15:22 -0800

Oh, and. . .

By: muckster

muckster — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:20:59 -0800

Ah: Samuel L. Jackson stars in the intense action feature Snakes On A Plane from director David Ellis (Final Destination 2, Cellular). Jackson plays an FBI agent who is escorting a witness on a flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles when an assassin releases hundreds of deadly snakes on a commercial airplane in order to eliminate the witness. The FBI agent, along with a rookie pilot, frightened crew and passengers must then band together in a desperate attempt to survive.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:37:27 -0800

Lest we forget -- this film is not the first to feature 'snakes on a plane.' In the esteemed cinematic history of Hollywood one need only to look to Indiana Jones:

"Indiana Jones: There's a big snake in the plane, Jock! Jock: Oh, that's just my pet snake Reggie. Indiana Jones: I hate snakes, Jock! I hate 'em! Jock: C'mon, show a little backbone, will ya?"

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:38:56 -0800

Screw 'Six-Degrees of Kevin Bacon.' We need to investigate "Six-Degrees of Snakes-on-Planes!'

By: padraigin

padraigin — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:53:28 -0800

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 18:54:52 -0800

I just don't know. Some sort of fan mp3 trailer thing.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 19:48:38 -0800

SoaP is why I go to movies. Dame Judi Dench can suck it. If you checked the IMDb, stupidsexyFlanders, you'll see that the great Dame is in SOaP. She's Python #5.

By: LinusMines

LinusMines — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 20:00:45 -0800

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 20:09:52 -0800

By: ook

ook — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 20:21:50 -0800

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 21:14:11 -0800

ook wins.

By: ook

ook — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 21:17:56 -0800

*victory dance*

By: rob511

rob511 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 21:27:42 -0800

We can only pray that Erik Greve pens, and Melanie Greve warbles, the title song: Serpentia, serpentia, serpentia, Constricting breathing slowly, Halted by Samuel, Samuel J. Jackson. Vision of receipts, vision of receipts, vision of receipts unbounded Beyond all sequels blowing.

By: rob511

rob511 — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 21:29:58 -0800

um, Samuel L. Jackson

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Fri, 17 Mar 2006 23:59:51 -0800

And the porn version would be "Snakes in a Poontang" I've seen the follow-up to this: Eels in Da Bum and Out Again. Warning: not suitable for work. Goatse/Tubgirl strength material

By: ford and the prefects

ford and the prefects — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 00:33:47 -0800

joseph_elmhurst, you had me at "'The Two Jakes' In A Frame.'"

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 01:21:23 -0800

Further warning, The NSFW link is (loud) audio/porn video, and it's difficult to abort.

By: EarBucket

EarBucket — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:01:50 -0800

By: darkstar

darkstar — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 04:15:12 -0800

I am shocked, SHOCKED, that no one has given a shout-out to the interracial, sectarian, East-meets-West, bald gay pr0n sequel: T.D. Jakes on Kwai Chang Caine! I mean, come on, it's got everything!

By: teleskiving

teleskiving — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 05:41:06 -0800

On top of that, it is also the most HONEST film coming out this year Possibly the most honest movie ever? I think it's a fun idea, and we might as well enjoy it while we can, the joke will only work once.

By: thejoshu

thejoshu — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 07:38:19 -0800

You get my vote, EarBucket!

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 09:34:01 -0800

Don't forget the alternate version with Kurt Russell: Snake's On A Plane. posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:25 PM PST on March 17 Dude, ook stole yo' mother**&kin idea!

By: davejay

davejay — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:16:32 -0800

FWIW, I just wrote and recorded a chorus (with harmony!) of my submission for the "Snakes on a Plane" song contest thingy. It's painfully sincere. If this thread is still going when I'm done, I'll share it with all of you. :)

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:26:42 -0800

You get my vote, EarBucket! Not mine. Strictly speaking, earbucket gave us Frakeses on a Plame. Dude, ook stole yo' mother**&kin idea! SET EFFECTORS TO "GOO"!

By: EarBucket

EarBucket — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:42:40 -0800

Strictly speaking, earbucket gave us Frakeses on a Plame. Everyone knows that, much like moose, the plural of Frakes is Frakes.

By: 29

29 — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 15:07:00 -0800

porn version: Dongs on the Plane

By: stenseng

stenseng — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 21:52:13 -0800

By: ook

ook — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 22:26:18 -0800

No no, mine's on a plain. Totally different. Not even vaguely similar. Nuh uh.

By: cillit bang

cillit bang — Sat, 18 Mar 2006 22:36:41 -0800

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Tue, 21 Mar 2006 13:26:36 -0800

Bootleg shirt + lines from Airplane = funny

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 11:26:59 -0800

CNN's take. The official logo.

By: ericb

ericb — Fri, 07 Apr 2006 09:22:50 -0800

Newsweek: Snakes on a What?