The Haunting of Maxwell House

March 18, 2006 11:54 AM

The Coffee Pot Ghosts.In November of 2000, a Maryland woman bought a black Krups coffee maker from Sears. Shortly thereafter, her lizard died mysteriously, strange white lights appeared and she began experiencing “classic Poltergeist phenomena of every description.” Then the spirits began to speak.
posted by jrossi4r (34 comments total)

They even claim to know what happened to Natalee Holloway.
posted by jrossi4r at 11:57 AM on March 18, 2006

My coffee pot usually talks to me after I have five cups...
posted by rand at 12:00 PM on March 18, 2006

It's true! The spirits crashed my browser!
posted by EarBucket at 12:04 PM on March 18, 2006

Were they naked?
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:07 PM on March 18, 2006

Sometimes, my French press talks to me. But I can't understand French.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 12:11 PM on March 18, 2006

Anyone who would center pages upon pages of text deserves a poltergeist or two.
posted by jperkins at 12:14 PM on March 18, 2006

NOW must itself be CHANGING?
posted by tula at 12:14 PM on March 18, 2006

Enie menie, coffee beanie?
posted by sbutler at 12:18 PM on March 18, 2006

I wonder how they feel about the "Ghost Pot Dance." Were I a coffee pot ghost, I don't think I'd be too happy about it.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 12:23 PM on March 18, 2006

Wow. I love EVP recordings. They either sound like computer generated voices, stray radio signals, or... nothing.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 12:32 PM on March 18, 2006

And why isn't she trying to sell this on ebay?
posted by drezdn at 12:35 PM on March 18, 2006

It is on ebay (linked from the coffeepot site here)
posted by p3t3 at 12:42 PM on March 18, 2006

Decaf. Change to Decaf.
posted by mmahaffie at 12:44 PM on March 18, 2006

Haunted household objects on eBay = so been done.
posted by reklaw at 12:45 PM on March 18, 2006

SCIENCE says this cannot occur.
posted by jenovus at 12:52 PM on March 18, 2006

I owned a pair of speakers which would intermittently output unexpected voices (that just happened to sound a lot like a police dispatcher..)
posted by unmake at 1:02 PM on March 18, 2006

embedded midis are haunted, too.
posted by moonbird at 1:06 PM on March 18, 2006

I stand corrected.
posted by drezdn at 1:14 PM on March 18, 2006

My computer is haunted. It makes strangely spiritual sounds when I look at the site. You can almost hear the words whispered in the background: crappy MIDI....
posted by generichuman at 1:42 PM on March 18, 2006

The Spirit People of the Pot thank you for this FPP.
posted by Marianne at 2:25 PM on March 18, 2006

This is why I keep telling folks to go organic and grind their own beans. You just don't know the crazy shit they put in that OTC stuff.
posted by nixerman at 2:28 PM on March 18, 2006

My new Aerobie Aeropress isn't haunted, but it makes damn fine coffee and looks like a hypodermic needle. A giant coffee-giving hypodermic needle.
posted by bovious at 2:52 PM on March 18, 2006

My computer speakers intermittently output something that sounds like either a ham radio operator or random truckers on CB's.
posted by matty at 3:53 PM on March 18, 2006

Sometimes my coffee maker is so haunted, it makes decaf. Eep! Now that is scary!
posted by DenOfSizer at 4:03 PM on March 18, 2006

I had a baby monitor that broadcast a crying baby once ( the receiving part having been shut off). 'Course, it was someone else's baby somewhere-or was it? Perchance a lost tot from beyond? ^o^ !!!!
posted by annieb at 5:11 PM on March 18, 2006

My garbage disposal once regurgitated on me a la The Exorcist.
posted by leftcoastbob at 5:40 PM on March 18, 2006

Nice title, btw.
posted by arcticwoman at 6:16 PM on March 18, 2006

I once turned on an oooold television set all the way to the highest channel... can't remember if it was UHF or VHF... I know one is higher than the other... yeah.
Anyway.
I started hearing voices! Totally distinct voices having conversations. But it was only one side of the conversation.
Ghosts! Then my left brain kicked in. Cell phone calls! Even cooler!

That old tv set made my summer job at the bait store much easier.

Man. That was the greatest job ever.

/sigh.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:31 PM on March 18, 2006

If only Timecube had Lou Bega midi.
posted by iamck at 7:59 PM on March 18, 2006

In The Demon-Haunted World Carl Sagan wrote "Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence." That web page surely ain't it.
posted by pax digita at 5:21 AM on March 19, 2006

What the fuck? The only time I ever heard voices in water running was when I was miserable due to crazy-ass girlfriend. Has no one tried to get this person help? This is a long list of cries for it.

That said, I frequently hear a voice in my head saying "come on, just another cup..." when I look at my coffee machine.
posted by Busithoth at 8:41 AM on March 19, 2006

sbutler is my hero.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:13 AM on March 19, 2006

THIS IS NOT THE COFFEE WAY!
posted by Ogre Lawless at 11:30 AM on March 20, 2006

I'm currently applying for a grant to see if there is to study the correlation to how crappy a website looks and the creator being a born-again Christian.

Right after I finish my paper on the links between the last 10 cents of pre-paid gasoline and the final 1% of a Windows installation, and why they take the same time to finish as the first 99%.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:13 PM on March 20, 2006