I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!

March 23, 2006 1:28 PM

Samuel L. Jackson and other Snakes on a Plane cast called in for reshoots.And yes, it has been confirmed that Samuel L. Jackson will say (shout it with me)... [more inside]
posted by UKnowForKids (144 comments total)

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by UKnowForKids at 1:28 PM on March 23, 2006

They're talking about the 'intense buzz' about the movie. But I thought the whole point of the buzz is that this was just about the worst goddamn movie idea ever?
posted by Malor at 1:31 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by matteo at 1:33 PM on March 23, 2006

cocksuckers!!!
posted by matteo at 1:33 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by NinjaPirate at 1:35 PM on March 23, 2006

Yeah, the movie idea sucks, but aren't you extremely happy it's not another motherfucking sequel?

I mean, do we really need Ski School 8? Porky's 11: Mudfight? Jason vs Cartman: Part 489.3?
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:35 PM on March 23, 2006

Malor, I think it started that way. But now it's turned into the fucking Blair Witch Project all over again.
posted by empath at 1:36 PM on March 23, 2006

Got-damn, I can't wait to see this, even if it sucks.
posted by NorthernSky at 1:36 PM on March 23, 2006

What the fuck is the fascination with this motherfucking movie?
posted by psmealey at 1:37 PM on March 23, 2006

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by beaucoupkevin at 1:37 PM on March 23, 2006

posted by brain_drain at 1:38 PM on March 23, 2006

"more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes."

more awesome.
posted by mullacc at 1:40 PM on March 23, 2006

I think it started that way. But now it's turned into the fucking Blair Witch Project all over again.

Which pretty much was the worst movie idea ever.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:40 PM on March 23, 2006

now it's turned into the fucking Blair Witch Project all over again

Yeah, only with more snakes. And a plane.
posted by Nelson at 1:40 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by stenseng at 1:40 PM on March 23, 2006

I highly doubt that they're going to bill this as an Oscar award winning flick.
So far it looks like a fun, silly, horror movie. You're getting exactly what you pay for. ;)
posted by drstein at 1:41 PM on March 23, 2006

Footage
posted by dobbs at 1:41 PM on March 23, 2006

In the best of all possible worlds, this movie would have a scene with Samuel L. and Betty White cursing at each other in the most vile, offensive terms. Officer Fuckmeat.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:41 PM on March 23, 2006

I blame the people who don't understand sarcasm.

That said, SNAKES ON A PLANE IS AWESOME!!!!
posted by Skwirl at 1:42 PM on March 23, 2006

I initially thought that the buzz started as a joke but there is mounting evidence that marketing people hired by the producers are feeding it all over the web.

That's the moment I quit finding it funny.
posted by bru at 1:43 PM on March 23, 2006

I think what you meant to say was "Get these motherfarking snakes off my motherfarking plane"

Or, conversely, get this shit off the front page.
posted by prostyle at 1:44 PM on March 23, 2006

Those motherfucking snakes have teh real ultimate power!
posted by huzzahhuzzah at 1:45 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by qvantamon at 1:48 PM on March 23, 2006

I initially thought that the buzz started as a joke but there is mounting evidence that marketing people hired by the producers are feeding it all over the web.

Perhaps. On the other hand, snakes. On a plane.
posted by verb at 1:49 PM on March 23, 2006

If they can keep a straight face through the whole thing, it'd be funny. Most b-movie flicks that are self-referential with a little wink and a nod whenever nudity or excess gore shows up. I mean action films already don't make sense (uploading a virus in Indepedence Day?), this is great. This is also the first time I've heard of this so if this actually hipster "really lame thing that we all know is lame but like anyway" or "kickass idea, looks lame, is lame but is incredibly cool."
posted by geoff. at 1:49 PM on March 23, 2006

Yeah, the movie idea sucks, but aren't you extremely happy it's not another motherfucking sequel?

I mean, do we really need Ski School 8? Porky's 11: Mudfight? Jason vs Cartman: Part 489.3?
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:35 PM PST on March 23 [!]


Old cliche, friend. It's not sequels anymore, it's remakes. Though sequels are doing fairly well, it seems that the only way to make some decent coin is to a) make yourself a romantic comedy, b) make yourself a horror film, or c) make yourself a remake of a horror film/romantic comedy/teen flick from 60s/70s/80s.
posted by ford and the prefects at 1:49 PM on March 23, 2006

Or, conversely, get these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking front page.
posted by bashos_frog at 1:50 PM on March 23, 2006

I wish these reptiles would exit this aircraft.
posted by stinkycheese at 1:52 PM on March 23, 2006

Don't tell me about no mother fucking snakes. I'm the snake fuckin' master.
posted by thanatogenous at 1:53 PM on March 23, 2006

That's not what your mother said.
posted by nebulawindphone at 1:55 PM on March 23, 2006

And yes, it has been confirmed that Samuel L. Jackson will say ...

"Hand me my mongoose. It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker on it."
posted by frogan at 1:56 PM on March 23, 2006

frogan just made it all worthwhile.

Almost.
posted by ook at 2:00 PM on March 23, 2006

Does it make me a bad person that until just now I had never heard of this?

No, this isn't a "Is this something I'd have to have a [insert random thing such as television here] to understand?" crack, I don't think I'm cool because I haven't heard of it, I'm just wondering what rock I've been hiding under to miss all the "buzz."

That said - I kind of don't think I'm missing much. Now, would somebody PLEASE get these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking plane?
posted by jennaratrix at 2:03 PM on March 23, 2006

"There's only two things I'm afraid of and that's one snake, and two snakes."
- JDR, a pal-o-mine from years ago.

I want to look him up and tell him to get these motherfucking snakes off the mother[....okay its old now]
posted by disclaimer at 2:03 PM on March 23, 2006

The snakes in Spain live mainly on the plane.
posted by billysumday at 2:03 PM on March 23, 2006

There's always the chance of the actual film being a CGI-themed epic where nearly everyone is a snake, from the cab drivers and baggage handlers at the airport to the passengers and crew on board the flight, to even the air traffic controllers attempting to ensure order. Samuel L. and the others may merely be providing voice talent in an adventure where the villains would actually be...worms or eels.

Given that the film is due to be released after Pixar's Cars and Fox's Ice Age 2, the live-action teasers shown thus far could well have been a publicity stunt.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:04 PM on March 23, 2006

Man, after reading that press release of an article, I can without hesitation say, I hope the thing bombs and tanks at the same time.

I enjoy a meme as well as the next person, but good god this seems to be the epitome of desperation for a movie script. We already have scholockers turning every book, comic book, video game etc with any credibility into parodies of the original material. Now this payload of putrescence comes along.

The whole it's so lame it's cool went out with Rocky Horror, at least people interact with that.
posted by edgeways at 2:04 PM on March 23, 2006

The movie needs to come out now. I don't think it can sustain the buzz. It will be old news by the time it comes out, and people won't care.
posted by flarbuse at 2:11 PM on March 23, 2006

I'll give you fucking snakes.
posted by pivotal at 2:11 PM on March 23, 2006

Snakes on a Plane ... and Nice Breasts.
Snakes on a plane from the Urban Dictionary.
You can apparently thank Samuel L. for the movie title.
posted by spock at 2:15 PM on March 23, 2006

See, unlike every other movie. This one is honest. What it about? Snakes on a Plane.

And, you know....

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by eriko at 2:15 PM on March 23, 2006

It's just funny that the "buzz" behind the movie is that it's already the best worst movie of all time. I mean, really, a hitman trying to off a witness by using snakes? On a plane? The producers/writers seriously can't take this movie seriously... which is why it's so cool.
posted by Nquire at 2:20 PM on March 23, 2006

Uh... what Malor said in the second post.

*blushes*
posted by Nquire at 2:21 PM on March 23, 2006

Re-shooting a movie to no doubt provide self referential mockery. I predict this will be the Adaptation of 2006.
posted by iamck at 2:24 PM on March 23, 2006

I hope New Line Cinema et al aren't concerned about downloading killing the movie industry, because this is going to be the most torrented flick EVAR.
posted by saturnine at 2:24 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 2:24 PM on March 23, 2006

Hey, what's that line that Samuel L. Jackson uses in this film? Maybe we should repeat that over and over until it's funny.
posted by eyeballkid at 2:25 PM on March 23, 2006

These Arms Posts are Motherfucking Snakes
posted by shoepal at 2:27 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!

What? Am I too late?
posted by unixrat at 2:31 PM on March 23, 2006

I... you know, if it's not too much trouble... i don't mean to be facetious or didactic or anything, but... would it be alright if we... you know, got these... motherfucking snakes... and if it's really a big bother please let me know... off the motherfucking... you know what? never mind. I'm being silly... oh, alright. plane.
posted by shmegegge at 2:33 PM on March 23, 2006

Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the... oh wait, wrong thread...

I want these motherfucking Snapes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by arcticwoman at 2:35 PM on March 23, 2006

When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.
posted by vaportrail at 2:36 PM on March 23, 2006

Oh right, snakes... of course.

Badger badger badger.
posted by arcticwoman at 2:37 PM on March 23, 2006

posted by mkultra at 2:41 PM on March 23, 2006

That movie will NEVER be shown on any airline flight.
posted by iviken at 2:43 PM on March 23, 2006

This just in:
Snakes On A Plane Jumps The Shark months before release.

Sorry.
*ducks*
posted by zoinks at 2:45 PM on March 23, 2006

posted by The Jesse Helms at 2:48 PM on March 23, 2006

I always imagined Jackson's killer line would be "There are motherfucking snakes on the motherfucking plane!"

Badger badger badger.

Coming in 2008.
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 2:53 PM on March 23, 2006

It would be great if, to lure moviegoers back to the theatres, snakes were released in the theatre at every showing of the film.

As a snake owner I assert that the premise of the film is completely contrived. In the real world I guarantee the poor snakes would just slither off to a warm, secluded place to hide. However, maybe the snakes in the film have rabies!
posted by mullingitover at 2:56 PM on March 23, 2006

It would be great if, to lure moviegoers back to the theatres, snakes were released in the theatre at every showing of the film.

Snakes on Snakes on a Plane?
posted by iamck at 2:58 PM on March 23, 2006

iamck : "I predict this will be the Adaptation of 2006."

Are you saying Adaptation added the mockery later? Or that there used to be snakes on planes in Adaptation, and they made it a movie about an orchid thief?
posted by graventy at 2:58 PM on March 23, 2006

the only way to make some decent coin is to
[...]
"c) make yourself a remake of a horror film/romantic comedy/teen flick from 60s/70s/80s.

You forgot "/LastYear/Japan."
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 3:01 PM on March 23, 2006

Snakes on a spaceship!
posted by Aster at 3:02 PM on March 23, 2006

How many people in this thread are being paid to perpetuate this?
posted by raedyn at 3:04 PM on March 23, 2006

Je veux que ceux-ci enfantent les serpents foutus de l'avion

Ich wünsche diese fucking Schlangen der Fläche bemuttern

Я хочу эти быть матерью fucking змеек плоскости

St Patrick: "I want these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking Ireland"
posted by Megafly at 3:08 PM on March 23, 2006

The hype for this movie is peaking way too early. By the time it comes out in August the meme will be deader than hamster dance or All Your Base.
posted by tiny purple fishes at 3:11 PM on March 23, 2006

I wish I could quit you!

...I mean...

I want these motherfucking, etc. etc..
posted by PlusDistance at 3:12 PM on March 23, 2006

"The hype for this movie is peaking way too early."

Not if they manage to get the cartoon on Adult Swim by June.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 3:14 PM on March 23, 2006

Apparently their focus groups don't adjust for sarcasm.

"Snakes on a plane? Why, that sounds like a splendid idea! I would certainly pay to see that!
posted by skree at 4:02 PM on March 23, 2006

There's a motherfucking man on the motherfucking wing of the plane!

Oh wait, wrong movie.

Will there be a scene to trump one of his top ten death scenes?
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:04 PM on March 23, 2006

I love the sexy slither of a lady snake. Oh baby.

(on a plane)
posted by milquetoast at 4:04 PM on March 23, 2006

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil snakes.
posted by sellout at 4:10 PM on March 23, 2006

All your snakes are belong to our plane?

The sequel: Snakes in Space

George Lucas Version: Snakes on a Plane Special Edition
posted by blue_beetle at 4:14 PM on March 23, 2006

I'd just like to prove how utterly tuned into Now FM I am by pointing out that I'm totally over the snakes on a plane meme. Every cool kid knows the next big thing is All Your Snakes On A Plane Are Belong To Wassup.
posted by RokkitNite at 4:19 PM on March 23, 2006

Give me the fucking snakes, you fucking cocksucker.
posted by solid-one-love at 4:29 PM on March 23, 2006

Snakes on a Plane is the new myspace.
posted by iamck at 4:30 PM on March 23, 2006

Also, I would totally watch another Ski School or Porky's. I DARE somene out there to make them and have me not watch them. I DARE them.
posted by SmileyChewtrain at 4:43 PM on March 23, 2006

Dear Sir,

ASSISTANCE REQUIRED FOR REMOVAL OF SNAKES

I write to inform you of my desire to remove snakes on your plane on behalf of the Director of Removal of the Federal Ministry of Snakes in Nigeria.

etc...
posted by 999 at 4:44 PM on March 23, 2006

It would be funny if Sam Jackson bit the dust in the first reel and the actual star of the film was Rikki Tikki Tavi.

Ok, not "Ha Ha" funny, but....
posted by Optamystic at 5:00 PM on March 23, 2006

It takes a big snake to cry, but it takes a bigger snake to laugh at that snake.
posted by lometogo at 5:01 PM on March 23, 2006

This thing might be the son of “Anaconda”... a “snakes on a boat” movie starring Ice Tea and J Lo with John Voight as the evil snake-master. There is something about a brother kicking serious snake butt that seems to be lost on the average white person.
posted by Huplescat at 5:17 PM on March 23, 2006

(flashes back to 1976 in Mom's 74 Ford Country Squire Station Wagon watching "The Attack of the Giant Ants" at the drive in while eating Kentucky Fried Chicken)

Ah, good times!
posted by snsranch at 5:19 PM on March 23, 2006

.
posted by Blue Stone at 5:22 PM on March 23, 2006

Now I'm thinkin' it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Rikki-Tikki-Tavi here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a mongoose.
posted by frogan at 5:26 PM on March 23, 2006

"Snakes," based an original script by John Heffernan (with rewrites by David Louca, Sheldon Turner, Sebastian Gutierrez and Chris Morgan) barely has an official Web site at the moment. But the movie, produced by Craig Berenson, Don Granger and Gary Levinsohn...

The more writers, the better the movie, fer sher...
posted by gottabefunky at 5:52 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by DragonBoy at 5:58 PM on March 23, 2006

Snakes on a Plane is a the new me in a rubber apron you in a clownsuit Suzie standing nearby with a stapler and you pelting me with jello snacks and singing "When Johnny Comes Marching Home."
posted by Afroblanco at 6:10 PM on March 23, 2006

I know I've been to movies before when the audience (when they could manage to tear themselves away from their cell phone conversations about where to meet up afterwards for dinner) cheered like lunatics at something that happened onscreen. If we get "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" I predict a similar response (disclaimer: I pretty much exclusively see my movies at the Alamo Drafthouse these days, so everyone will probably be at least a little buzzed by the time Sam J. says it.)

These guys want to create a real interweb nerd buzz? Get the MST3K guys to do a B-side on the special edition DVD. Because those folks are your audience.
posted by Cyrano at 6:16 PM on March 23, 2006

I hope there is an Apple product placement in the movie.
posted by LarryC at 6:21 PM on March 23, 2006

I think Samuel Jackson guessed right — a lot of people are going to want to see this movie, no matter what kind of prerelease hype or buzz it has. Snakes have been a major plot device since way back in the Garden of Eden, and certainly the "I hate snakes" line was a big hit in whichever terrible Indiana Jones movie that was.

I've always loved the 'snakes on a roller coaster' urban myth, and of course there are also snakes in the ball pit. (Sorry, I meant the motherfucking ball pit.)
posted by LeLiLo at 6:23 PM on March 23, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off NPR, motherfucker!
posted by jazon at 6:34 PM on March 23, 2006

"i.e. the Church/ i.e. the Government..."

I do like how the internet is split between the early adopters of backlash and the little brothers who can't stop repeating a catchphrase.

(As for the Urban Dictionary, I've been using "snakes on a plane" to mean something self-evident. Like, upon hearing someone complain that a girl they like shot them down after previously expressing disgust with them. "Of course she said no. Snakes on a plane, duh.")
posted by klangklangston at 6:46 PM on March 23, 2006

Parseltounge, motherfucker! Do you speak it?
posted by eriko at 7:48 PM on March 23, 2006

eriko, you rock.
posted by frogan at 7:55 PM on March 23, 2006

Say "hiss" again!
posted by Fenriss at 8:07 PM on March 23, 2006

"Snakes" stars Samuel L. Jackson as an FBI agent who has to fight a planeload of snakes unleashed by an assassin bent on killing a witness in protective custody.

How do you possibly say anything after that?

Although I have to admit beaucoupkevin made me laugh despite not wanting to.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:08 PM on March 23, 2006

Snakes on a Plane II: Snakes on a Boat!!!

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by johngumbo at 8:22 PM on March 23, 2006

Why do I have to be Mr. Plane? Why I can't I be Mr. Motherfucking Snake?
posted by loquacious at 8:22 PM on March 23, 2006

Um, there seem to be some unwanted legless reptiles here at 30,000 feet; do you think we could lose them? Thanks.
posted by trip and a half at 8:28 PM on March 23, 2006

With piracy so rampant, why bother to attract the internet audience when they're just going to download the movie anyway?
posted by my sock puppet account at 8:34 PM on March 23, 2006

My prediction: now matter how many snakes there are, and no matter how menacingly Jackson scowls at them, this will not be a good movie. So . . . buh bye snakes. I said BUH BYE. BUH BYE Mother fucking snakes now get off the Mother Fucking Plane. Ok, that part is fun.
posted by Toecutter at 8:38 PM on March 23, 2006

Administrator, there are motherfucking snakes on my motherfucking plane! Please hope me!
posted by kyleg at 8:39 PM on March 23, 2006

When it comes right down to it though, how many people are going to fork over $10 to see this? It may be a funny, campy concept, but when the rubber meets the road, this will flop in theatres if it's just trying to be the "worst movie ever."
posted by pitchblende at 8:44 PM on March 23, 2006

I hate to be the kinda snake that do a snake a favor and then BAM hit the snake up for a favor in return. But I gots to be that snake.
posted by frogan at 8:44 PM on March 23, 2006

Medusa: I want these motherfucking snakes off my motherfucking head!
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:49 PM on March 23, 2006

Oh, crap: *seems to be*. Goddam snakes! Hope me!
posted by trip and a half at 8:54 PM on March 23, 2006

The plot of the film isn't generating the buzz, it's just the title. If this things was called "Panic Flight" or something, nobody would care and this thread wouldn't be here.
posted by davebush at 8:59 PM on March 23, 2006

oh-my-f'n-gawd! after the 5th time, it's old. Please stop! it's like a kid who just learned a new swear word.
posted by Bear at 9:02 PM on March 23, 2006

If the buzz about this movie does in fact build and build and build and build for FIVE MORE MONTHS, and then positively impacts this film's box office, I will eat my Von Dutch trucker hat. Which is no longer trendy. Similar to how this movie won't be.

However, I do have high hopes for the forthcoming James Woods vehicle, "Crazy Gluing A Guy's Penis to His Thigh." Listen: "My motherfucking penis is glued to my motherfucking thigh!"

I'm working on the song for that one now.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 9:15 PM on March 23, 2006

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a snake out, and givin' a snake a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing.
posted by kosem at 9:16 PM on March 23, 2006

Wait a minute. You're saying there are snakes on this plane?
posted by rleamon at 9:29 PM on March 23, 2006

whichever terrible Indiana Jones movie that was .... Uh, you mean the greatest movie of all time when I was in ninth grade? And still the greatest movie you can find on TNT or whatever the day after Thanksgiving.

That would be motherfucking Raiders of the Lost Ark. Until that weird cheap SoaP trailer showed up, and even after, I thought it was all some Fark joke I missed -- and all based on the famous and biblical scene in Raiders involving a snake and a plane and a guy who is scared of snakes.

But now that the truth is known ... I will surely go see some air-conditioned $5 matinee in the horrid heat of August to see Samuel Jackson at war with a bunch of dubious snakes. On a plane. And I will get high as a kite beforehand.
posted by kenlayne at 10:27 PM on March 23, 2006

LarryC: yes, there will be Apple product placement! According to IMDb, Agam Darshi will play "iPod girl". I wonder if iPod Girl will do the silhouette dance?
posted by iviken at 10:37 PM on March 23, 2006

By the time the movie does hit the theaters, everyone will think they have already seen it. The box office gross will be $87.00.
posted by strangeleftydoublethink at 10:37 PM on March 23, 2006

...and I still want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by Hicksu at 10:40 PM on March 23, 2006

My snake ain't plain laddie: it's under me sporrrrran!

Now give me my money.
Like he said in the abortion of a film Formula 51, "we got paid" while looking at the camera, truly the most excerable dross ever to hit the screen
posted by lalochezia at 10:41 PM on March 23, 2006

I'm sure that other people have made this same bet, but if so, I'm casting my rock, club, spear, axe... fuckit

If this IS NOT a hoax (that all this is just to get people to talk about the movie and the actual movie doesn't involved snakes on planes on >%50 percent of the time...

I'll go plant some snakes on a plane.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 11:21 PM on March 23, 2006

Wait a sec, where are the snakes again?
posted by gsteff at 12:08 AM on March 24, 2006

I missed Porky's 10?!
posted by medium format at 1:36 AM on March 24, 2006

I believe they're on some sort of aircraft.
posted by cillit bang at 2:55 AM on March 24, 2006

From one of spock's links above:

Snakes on a Plane is perhaps the greatest movie title since Leprechaun in the Hood.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 5:25 AM on March 24, 2006

I believe they're on some sort of aircraft.

And there's not a GOT-DAMN thing you can do about it!

The Times
London

Sirs:

On my last flight on British Airways, I was startled to discover both a massive infestation of snake of all sorts, and a large man with a gun spewing obscenities.

While I must note, with thanks, this gentleman's efforts to control the slithering pandemic, I would think that BA would have impressed upon him the importance of decorum. While I understand the surprise he must have felt, I scarcely feel it appropriate that the attempted removal of the reptiles needed to be accompied by a stream of utterances which would cause a Royal Navy Petty Officer blush.

Finally, my wine was corked. BA must work on these minor points of customer service, which ruined an otherwise lovely flight, lest they be confused with some airline named after a Greek or Cyrillic letter.

Yours -

A. Complainer
Northumbria

posted by eriko at 5:37 AM on March 24, 2006

我要这些她妈的蛇下这他妈的飞机。

It's what I have to give.
posted by saysthis at 6:07 AM on March 24, 2006

I want all these motherfucking viral dollars off my motherfucking internets!

On another note, snakes are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
posted by Laotic at 6:22 AM on March 24, 2006

Do you realise how hard it is to shoot snakes with a pistol?
posted by shnoz-gobblin at 6:33 AM on March 24, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!

In maan chod saanpoon ko is maan chod jahaz se nikaalo!

Now in Urdu !!!
posted by adnanbwp at 7:33 AM on March 24, 2006

This some ELABORATE shit!
posted by rottytooth at 7:33 AM on March 24, 2006

from rottytooths link:

Motherfucker, I CHECKED the "NO MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES" box when I BOUGHT these mothefuckin' TICKETS to be on this MOTHEFUCKIN' PLANE WITH ALL THE MOTHERFUCKIN' SNAKES ON IT!
posted by The Jesse Helms at 7:48 AM on March 24, 2006

I still fail to see how this title is any more brilliant than Jason Takes Manhattan. I mean, you want a "shit happens" type film-title, that's it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:03 AM on March 24, 2006

Samuel L. Jackson is one asp-kicking actor, eh?
posted by spock at 10:06 AM on March 24, 2006

Teen1: Oh, here come the motherfuckin' snakes on the motherfuckin plane. They're cool.
Teen2: Are you being sarcastic, dude?
Teen1: I don't even know anymore.
posted by Cookiebastard at 12:12 PM on March 24, 2006

I initially thought that the buzz started as a joke but there is mounting evidence that marketing people hired by the producers are feeding it all over the web.

I think you're right. Seems like it's over already. Color me with the early-adopter-backlash crowd. It was funny once. When it became marketing, less so.
posted by mrgrimm at 2:45 PM on March 24, 2006

(apologies to eriko)

American Airlines Customer Relations
P.O. Box 619612 MD 2400
DFW Airport, TX 75261-9612�

14 January, 2005

To whom it may concern,

On Sunday, January 9th, I flew AA51 from London Gatwick to Dallas-Fort Worth. At Gatwick, I was confronted with a security check that exceeded sense and decency and, I feel, creates a terrible potential liability for your airline.

At Gatwick, I was directed to a security podium before I checking in for my flight. The security officer asked me a series of questions, such as:

* Where are you flying?

* How long have you owned your luggage for?

* Are there any motherfucking snakes in your luggage?

The security officer then handed me a blank piece of paper and said, "Please write down the names and addresses of ever motherfucking snake you're staying with in the USA."

I actually began to write this out when I was brought up short. "Wait a second -- since when does AA compile a written dossier on the names and addresses of my snakes? Why are you asking me this? Do you have a privacy policy and a data-retention policy I can inspect prior to this?"

The security officer told me that this was a Transport Security Agency (TSA) regulation. I asked for the name or number of the regulation, its text, and the details of the data-retention and privacy practices in place at AA UK. The security officer wasn't able to answer my questions, and she went to get her supervisor.

After several minutes, her supervisor appeared and said, after introducing himself, "Sir, we want to make sure there are no motherfucking snakes on this plane."

I think it's pretty hard to argue that making passengers produce written dossiers on their friends' home addresses makes planes in the sky secure. I asked again if this was really a TSA regulation and what AA's privacy and data-retention policies are.

In the past few days, I've told this story to many friends in the US and the UK and they've all been shocked by it. It's really stuck in my craw, and left me with three questions for your airline:

1. What is the AA privacy and data-retention policy?

2. Do non-Platinum flyers have to provide dossiers on their
friends on demand from an AA officer? Why?

3. How can you possibly allow motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane

I'm cc'ing this note to my colleagues at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, to my friend John Gilmore who is currently suing the TSA over some of its regulations, and to the website I co-edit, Boing Boing (boingboing.net), which has over 200,000 daily
readers. I will be very interested to hear your reply.

I would appreciate a response by February 1, 2005.

Thank you,

Cory Doctorow

AAdvantage Number: XXXXXXX
posted by stevil at 3:14 PM on March 24, 2006

this plane ... it has snakes?
posted by banshee at 3:38 PM on March 24, 2006

Do you realise how hard it is to shoot snakes with a pistol?

Not hard at all, with the right motherfucking ammo.
posted by me & my monkey at 4:04 PM on March 24, 2006

Oh, my. Stevil *so* wins. I've been fairly trumped on that trick.

In speaking to an AA agent, I'll note that they have no policy against snakes on a motherfucking plane, but they could extend the badgers on a goddamn luggage cart policy.
posted by eriko at 4:15 PM on March 24, 2006

You had to open the motherfucking can of motherfucking peanuts, didn't you?
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:58 PM on March 24, 2006

stevil wins the Internet.
posted by crazyray at 8:57 AM on March 25, 2006

Just one question. Where was the first mention of the now classic line, If it wasn't in the script, what "Genius of the Internet" came up with the line?

"Hiss Again. HISS AGAIN! I Dare You, I DOUBLE DARE you, MOTHERFUCKER! HISS ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!"
posted by djrock3k at 10:12 AM on March 25, 2006

I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!
posted by joshuaconner at 11:13 AM on March 25, 2006

Wait, am I too late? Where did everybody go?
posted by joshuaconner at 11:13 AM on March 25, 2006

Robo-snakes on a (geometric) plane
posted by kindall at 11:43 AM on March 25, 2006

You do plan to have motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane, yes? Er, yes? Hello? *taps monitor*
posted by Saellys at 12:03 PM on March 25, 2006

Oh may gawd, Saellys. Jurassic Park.
posted by youarenothere at 3:55 PM on March 26, 2006