Comments on: the perfect penis ?

the perfect penis ?

vronsky — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:01:28 -0800

the perfect penis? (very NSFW) guy injects silicon into his groin for several years and ... well...

By: Dean Keaton

Dean Keaton — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:02:50 -0800

o god

By: skeeter1

skeeter1 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:07:00 -0800

This is just a guess, but I'm thinking you meant silicone, not silicon. In either case, OUCH!

By: jessica

jessica — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:07:53 -0800

please tell me that's fake.

By: sgrass

sgrass — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:08:35 -0800

That's a hell of a long way to go to to "challenge peoples ideas of what a penis should look like." It looks heavy to the point of pain.

By: vronsky

vronsky — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:09:17 -0800

Silicone - sorry

By: pmbuko

pmbuko — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:12:31 -0800

his eyes give him away as a complete nutcase. A heavy nutcase.

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:14:46 -0800

What a prick.

By: puke & cry

puke & cry — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:16:05 -0800

dear god no.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:17:01 -0800

yet another reminder that the world is filled with completely fucked up people, but you wouldn't know by looking at them.

By: arcticwoman

arcticwoman — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:17:32 -0800

Oh my dear lord. That is pretty gross.

By: arcticwoman

arcticwoman — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:17:57 -0800

Looks like he got some silicone into his lips too.

By: allen.spaulding

allen.spaulding — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:18:32 -0800

My guess is that if he's able to have an erection, he'd pass out and fall over. As would anyone watching.

By: rosemere

rosemere — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:20:45 -0800

Somebody please prove that this is a prosthesis. Please. Can't sleep. Dicks will eat me.

By: LeeJay

LeeJay — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:21:03 -0800

Why silicone? Why into his penis? Why? And what is that thing going to look like when he's 80? The weight alone should take it at least down to his knees.

By: BobFrapples

BobFrapples — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:21:38 -0800

There's no way that it actually gets erect. The original erectile framework is buried beneath tons of silicone blubber. Nope, this thing is for show, only. Which makes it really pathetic.

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:22:28 -0800

banger = mash

By: Zack_Replica

Zack_Replica — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:24:22 -0800

That's not a package - it's luggage!

By: the sobsister

the sobsister — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:25:28 -0800

And yet 36GGG's get entire websites devoted to them. What' s the difference? Would women find this as attractive as some men find hugely-distended breasts? Would it be more attractive if it retained more of its original shape versus blobbing into an almost amorphous mass? The subject is clearly fucked up in da head. But the point raised is a provocative one.

By: Baby_Balrog

Baby_Balrog — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:26:22 -0800

Where's glider when you need him? I see this as no different than castration play or anything else. One more thing to stick in the big bucket of, "Different strokes for different folks," I carry around in my head. What's so special about YOUR penis, anyway? Huh? HUH??

By: papakwanz

papakwanz — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:28:28 -0800

This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for - O DEAR GOD!!

By: R. Mutt

R. Mutt — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:28:37 -0800

Why couldn't he just buy a Hummer like other insecure guys?

By: FreezBoy

FreezBoy — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:30:44 -0800

This was actually part of "penis week" on Channel 4. All of the docs are easily torrent-able for those of us not in the UK.

By: psychobum

psychobum — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:38:07 -0800

you should check out the dude's forum (way NSFW).

By: designbot

designbot — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:38:33 -0800

Thank god this doesn't play properly in Safari.

By: notmydesk

notmydesk — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:39:23 -0800

Please tell me it's April 1st and my watch is just wrong.

By: bpm140

bpm140 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:42:07 -0800

The weight alone should take it at least down to his knees. According to the spam I've been getting, that's what every woman wants. Can I claw my eyes out now?

By: usedwigs

usedwigs — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:44:55 -0800

Not to be a prude, but can we resist posting the cheesy, nudity oddball sex videos? I believe there are thousands of college kids who have sites solely for this purpose.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:45:58 -0800

no. no, we can't. sorry.

By: selfmedicating

selfmedicating — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:46:42 -0800

This is definitely one of those mefi threads where it's better to read the comments than follow the link.

By: rxrfrx

rxrfrx — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:50:57 -0800

usedwigs, this was better than 50% of today's FPPs. Just sayin'.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:54:32 -0800

Somebody please prove that this is a prosthesis. Please. Nope, definitely real. There's no way that it actually gets erect. Nope, and your man doesn't care about that, apparently - having his crazy big knob was clearly all the erotic satisfaction he needs. The documentary series was pretty good, on the whole, though I really could've done without seeing this bloke's preposterous ultracock - I found it way more distressing than the footage of a penis extension surgery, or the images of a man who had a lengthier replacement for his micropenis (actual medical term!) specially grown on his arm.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:57:07 -0800

Looks kinda like a Shmoo. Think it likes to be kicked?

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:57:40 -0800

Wow, he gets a lot of praise in that forum.

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:58:21 -0800

Still not as bad as this guy. Dudes, be nice to your penis, it's the only one you've got.

By: PHINC

PHINC — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:58:37 -0800

I guess my ideas were challenged.

By: caddis

caddis — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:59:52 -0800

That is totally crap.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:00:21 -0800

Looks like he got some silicone into his lips too. according to his tagline on the forum site linked above, he's had 16ml of silicone put into his lips. and "650ml in the dick, 2000ml in the balls, and 1000ml in the ass," for those of you keeping records. for what it's worth, you know, I feel better about my penis having seen his.

By: adnanbwp

adnanbwp — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:00:45 -0800

Bee Sting, many bee stings. definitely!!!

By: pokermonk

pokermonk — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:05:35 -0800

And yet 36GGG's get entire websites devoted to them. What' s the difference? Breasts are a visual sexual indicator, likely by evolutionary (or intelligent) design. The penis is a tactile thing built for direct reproductive function. Needless to say, my notion of what a penis should be has not been challenged.

By: booksandlibretti

booksandlibretti — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:06:31 -0800

Would women find this as attractive as some men find hugely-distended breasts? I'm a woman, and there are not enough words in the language for "no, I do not find this size of penis attractive." However, via psychobum's link, you'll find a post by a girl who saw him on TV and tracked down his forum to say this. And the guy says "I get erections, but obviously, silicone doesn't get 'hard,'" and that "I'm still able to achieve orgasm and of course, it always feels good. :D" -- and yes, I'm creeped out.

By: HTuttle

HTuttle — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:06:46 -0800

I guess if you get some serious STD that keeps anyone from ever wanting to have sex with you again, you might as well turn your genitals into a science experiment.

By: zardoz

zardoz — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:08:35 -0800

That would be a nightmare to have, but the guy does actually seem to be content and happy with the thing. A bit nuts, but, hey, can't have everything.

By: coldon

coldon — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:09:33 -0800

It burns! It burns!

By: Moistener

Moistener — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:17:23 -0800

"Take THAT, 1950s society!"

By: psychobum

psychobum — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:20:51 -0800

i found another man with a really big cock.

By: jalexei

jalexei — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:22:18 -0800

Wow - I read the comments before looking, and I figured he had some long appendage, not a giant, vaguely round mass in his pants. If he's happy good for him, but why modify it so you can't really use it? Different strokes.... (I crack myself up...)

By: jalexei

jalexei — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:24:40 -0800

I also love that the extremecock website is a dot org - gives it a veneer of scientific inquiry...

By: Cyrano

Cyrano — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 16:55:09 -0800

So I'm watching this thing, and I'm appropriately weirded out, but then I think, "well, it's not like he's totally whipped it out yet, so this could be a fake..." And then he does. And a part of me dies a little.

By: allen.spaulding

allen.spaulding — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:31:58 -0800

welcome back to the front page, massive cock.

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:40:43 -0800

Hey, what did vronsky ever do to you?

By: Mid

Mid — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:41:30 -0800

Talk to you later!

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:43:35 -0800

It's back up!

By: Divine_Wino

Divine_Wino — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:49:56 -0800

That fucking weird bloated dick better speak in a high pitched voice and wear a tophat and spats when it goes out for an evening, all I'm saying...

By: IronLizard

IronLizard — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 19:59:42 -0800

Self-induced elephantitis. What a prick.

By: asok

asok — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:10:57 -0800

I call it the blob. Nuff said

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:22:43 -0800

a certain case of a man whose cock and balls are bigger than his brain

By: c13

c13 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:29:25 -0800

It's kinda funny how on his site it says "Click to Enlarge"...

By: c13

c13 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:29:26 -0800

It's kinda funny how on his site it says "Click to Enlarge"...

By: aramaic

aramaic — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:31:14 -0800

And yet 36GGG's get entire websites devoted to them. What' s the difference? In my world, none. They're all hideous monstrosities. I cannot imagine who finds those women attractive. ...but I'll say one thing: the next few decades are gonna see some truly bizarre old people. Mark my words.

By: jenovus

jenovus — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:35:19 -0800

By: fungible

fungible — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:43:35 -0800

If you liked that, you'll love this. NSFW ick ick ick. Hint: Google images for "vacuum pump." For the love of god don't click that.

By: veggieboy

veggieboy — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:52:20 -0800

I too held out a teeny weeny (what?) bit of hope that it was fake until he hauled it all out and I was crushed (though not as crushed as I would be, say, if his penis had landed on me). He says he's challenging people's idea of what a penis should be. So please post if you're looking at this and thinking, "Yessir, now THAT is what a penis should be!"

By: edgeways

edgeways — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:58:32 -0800

I disagree that Breasts are a visual sexual indicator, evolutionary speaking. There are plenty of societies in which breasts are pretty non sexual, seen only as a means for delivering milk to babies. Breasts are a "sexual" indicator only in relation to society.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 20:59:03 -0800

I won't be impressed until he can make it sing "Oklahoma!." Shit, anyone can inject stuff into their skeezer-pleaser. Showtunes is where it's at.

By: glenwood

glenwood — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:05:28 -0800

i am against this.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:11:15 -0800

That's a potential WMD.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:11:59 -0800

I was expecting to be shocked. And I was. shudder.

By: ChasFile

ChasFile — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:26:30 -0800

For reference: this post was deleted, a MeTa discussion ensued, and it was undeleted.

By: homunculus

homunculus — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:37:50 -0800

Does he play piano?

By: kika

kika — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:41:38 -0800

I blame circumcision.

By: maryh

maryh — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:43:28 -0800

Where does he get all that silicone? Can you just call up, say, The Silicone Hut and order 3 lbs of medical grade silicone? To inject into your penis? It doesn't seem right somehow.

By: Jelreyn

Jelreyn — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:43:59 -0800

what an idiot. I don't see the point in 36GGG whatever breasts either - it's just stupid either way. I guess there's just weirdos all over the place though who love it... what a fucked up world we live in.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:44:15 -0800

Can't we possibly derail this into an argument about circumcision? Okay, I'll start. I'm sure glad he's circumcised, otherwise that penis would be gross.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:45:30 -0800

Oh, hey, kika's in the game! Yea!

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:45:39 -0800

glenwood, I beseech you, rephrase.

By: maryh

maryh — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:50:17 -0800

Oh god, now I have a Barney song stuck in my head... When you have a ball, you have the greatest toy of them alllll...

By: fenriq

fenriq — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 21:55:38 -0800

Nope, not gonna click it and none of you can make me.

By: tula

tula — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:20:15 -0800

And yet 36GGG's get entire websites devoted to them. What' s the difference? Ok, the difference is that huge breasts can exist naturally, not on tiny skinny women, of course, but breasts store fat, and very, very fat women can have very, very big breasts. Sometimes even small women can have disproportionately large breasts. But only disease or infection would make a man's penis bloat up to resemble a dead elephant seal. I must begin to try to forget this unholy episode.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:24:50 -0800

*gets home from work, clicks link, claws out eyes* Hey, Claire! Wanna see a picture of a guy with elephan... What? There's already an elphantitis quip? Damn. JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, CLAIRE!

By: growabrain

growabrain — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:25:25 -0800

And if you would like to try scrotal inflation yourself, click here to order a Scrotal Inflation Kit. (Via ZombieTime)

By: Bonzai

Bonzai — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:39:32 -0800

Okay guys, here's an easy rule of thumb. If you have injected so much Silicone into your penis that you can no longer pee standing up it's time to stop.

By: Ohdemah

Ohdemah — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:41:06 -0800

His knob looks like these folks had a child they don't talk about. The one in the attic, y'know...

By: arcticwoman

arcticwoman — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:54:53 -0800

I watched it with no sound on. Is there any mention of how heavy it is?

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 23:01:12 -0800

A bit nuts, but, ... No, that's a lot (of) nuts. Generally, I think it's a good rule of thumb to avoid injecting anything into certain parts of one's body.

By: bluno

bluno — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 23:17:06 -0800

Metafilter: That's not a package - it's luggage!

By: Jesse H Christ

Jesse H Christ — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 23:33:28 -0800

I disagree that Breasts are a visual sexual indicator, evolutionary speaking. There are plenty of societies in which breasts are pretty non sexual, seen only as a means for delivering milk to babies. Breasts are a "sexual" indicator only in relation to society. And in my Gender and Culture class we read Biological Exuberance and various academic articles that argue that the idea that sexual organs are "built" for reproduction (as in a penis is built for a vagina) is heteronormative. A penis is very often used for reproduction, but it is much much more than that. Where does he get all that silicone? Can you just call up, say, The Silicone Hut and order 3 lbs of medical grade silicone? To inject into your penis? It doesn't seem right somehow. In Greensboro, NC I knew a guy who wanted tits but couldn't afford the surgery. He found (in Greensboro) a black market for silicone that he had injected directly into his chest. The result was fairly realistic. What made him weird though was that he changed his name to Marina LaFever.)

By: kingfisher, his musclebound cat

kingfisher, his musclebound cat — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 03:48:18 -0800

Oh well, I thought he funnier when he just put a glove on his head and inflated that.

By: beerbajay

beerbajay — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 04:47:13 -0800

Saline scrotal infusion!!

By: haikuku

haikuku — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 05:19:38 -0800

must..erase..image..from..mind..!! (begins to sing Yellow Submarine)

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 05:42:32 -0800

You guys are missing the most hilarious part. His forum was part of Something Awful's Weekend Web round-up. The kicker? Injecting all that silicone into his groin almost fucking killed him.

By: meehawl

meehawl — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:23:07 -0800

650ml in the dick, 2000ml in the balls, and 1000ml in the ass Metric! Awesome! He's got one thing straight, at least. As mentioned earlier, it was just a clip from a longer "My Perfect Penis" set of programmes that Channel 4 (a great source for insane documentaries) showed a while ago. We watched them all. My wife (a USian) was frankly astonished: "This is on TV?".

By: pokermonk

pokermonk — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:28:47 -0800

...Breasts are a "sexual" indicator only in relation to society.... A penis is very often used for reproduction, but it is much much more than that. The originally posed questions about 36GGGs are in the context of the sexuality of each, which I'll still extend (har har) is a matter of form versus function. (There's also a specific heterosexual framework to those original questions.) While I think most people aren't going to be attracted to either the gargantuan breasts or penis, the fetish culture for the 36GGGs is bound to be larger since the breasts are still fulfilling their [sexual] role [in our society]. The "perfect penis", on the other hand, has abandoned its basic roles. Size relates to different things in different ways. Just because I'd like a large apartment, doesn't mean i want an equally large mp3 player. Just because peni (tee hee) and breasts are related to sexuality does not mean size relates to them in the same way. If I could turn my penis into an ipod, though.... THAT would challenge people's notion of what a penis should be.

By: Talanvor

Talanvor — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:36:49 -0800

Okay, yeah, that squicked me right the hell out. That said, isn't just injecting silicone into your body a really freaking bad idea? I mean breast implants are at least pouches and, theoretically anyway, not supposed to leak the material into the body. So... wth?

By: glider

glider — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:39:23 -0800

I've covered this subject extensively on BMEvideo (and yes, it still works) and BME.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:40:31 -0800

In an effort to find the link in that gif file, I googled the guy's forum name. According to a message [nsfw] he posted a few weeks after that one, Optimus, he's decided that his hospital stay was unrelated to his silicone activities, and so his story continues.

By: crunchland

crunchland — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 06:43:08 -0800

Oh, and here is the link in that gif file.

By: Doorstop

Doorstop — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:01:47 -0800

...oh dear sweet negligent God... how do you create people who DO this kinda crap... WTF?!

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:06:01 -0800

And yet 36GGG's get entire websites devoted to them. What' s the difference? You can still have sex normally with 36GGG breasts-- this guy, I'm not so sure about. He certainly isn't putting it into me!

By: zarq

zarq — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:34:32 -0800

It takes a special kind of crazy to ignore the possible dangers of silicone injection. He looks like the perfect next ~~meal~~ mate for Jocelyn Wildenstein.

By: meehawl

meehawl — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 07:43:36 -0800

You can still have sex normally with 36GGG breasts And what, pray tell, exactly constitutes "normal sex" with breasts? Even with his massively distended Buster Gonads I could still shove my cock inside Mist Mark's arse. Or lick his salty balls. Form does not always trump function.

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 08:56:51 -0800

According to a message [nsfw] he posted a few weeks after that one, Optimus, he's decided that his hospital stay was unrelated to his silicone activities, and so his story continues. posted by crunchland at 6:40 AM PST on March 30 Self-delusion never fails. Nice find, crunch.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 09:42:53 -0800

If I had contracted a disease that had a similar effect on my own private parts, I'd probably be contemplating suicide right now. It's unfathomable to me that this guy did this to himself.

By: Maisie Jay

Maisie Jay — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 11:17:36 -0800

I used to think my own sexual proclivities were weird and embarrassing. I was so, so wrong.

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 11:24:21 -0800

I couldn't bear to watch most of the video, but what are the odds this is actually a joke/prank/scam?

By: Optimus Chyme

Optimus Chyme — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 11:42:40 -0800

Sadly, Paris, the chance of this being a hoax is highly unlikely. I truly wish it were.

By: deborah

deborah — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 19:07:19 -0800

Just when you think you've seen everything the 'net has to offer, someone/something else shows up.

By: FlamingBore

FlamingBore — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 19:14:56 -0800

Completely random - now that I'm home and got a chance to watch this I found myself giggling over the fact that the print hanging behind his head is a famous Ernst Haas shot of Central Ave. (Route 66) here in Albuquerque.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 19:30:58 -0800

Wow. So the guy pumped himself for television, showing off his odd obsession, and damn near dies from it. What a thing. Humans are very odd.

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:15:07 -0800

Yer jus' jealous.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Thu, 30 Mar 2006 20:59:13 -0800

I'd be okay with this if he didn't get all pretentious about it at the end of the interview. "Forcing people to question what a penis is for?" What a crock of shit.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:36:23 -0800

What a crock of shit. No, that'd be the 1000cc he's injected into his ass. I'm still wondering about that, as little as I want to.

By: beth

beth — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 03:18:33 -0800

This guy is the Yin to the "nullo" guy's Yang. Or something. maybe they should get together.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 09:57:33 -0800

If they got together, would they end up going off half-cocked?

By: shnoz-gobblin

shnoz-gobblin — Fri, 31 Mar 2006 16:50:11 -0800

Bollocks!

By: baker dave

baker dave — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 04:38:31 -0800

do you mean sillycun*