Heal Your Dog Via E-mail

April 7, 2006 8:49 AM

Dr. James Burda has a gift. "I learned about my gift three years ago. While driving to a nearby city in order to do shopping my left foot started to hurt. Just for amusement, I made a guess as to the exact bone involved with the pain, told the bone to realign, and the pain went away almost instantly." For $60, you (or your pet) can undergo the same treatment from the comfort of your own home. Bear in mind that The Ohio State Chiropractic Board maintains that Burda is "delusional."
posted by Otis (40 comments total)

I can stop hiccups by visualizing my diaphragm, explaining to it that it is mine, and I want it to stop doing what it's doing right now. Works every time.

Am I delusional?
posted by jon_kill at 8:58 AM on April 7, 2006

You've got serious problems when chiropractors think you're delusional.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:01 AM on April 7, 2006

jon_kill: "I can stop hiccups by visualizing my diaphragm, explaining to it that it is mine, and I want it to stop doing what it's doing right now. Works every time.

Am I delusional?"

Maybe not. But can you make my hiccups stop? There's the test!
posted by macadamiaranch at 9:03 AM on April 7, 2006

Well, I don't know about this.. but I "cured" my back pain (really unbearable sciatica, weakness in leg) from reading Dr. John Sarno's books. After a few weeks the pain was gone.

It seems that most non-trauma induced back, leg, neck "pain" is really all in your head. It's related to stress and your mind creating the pain to distract away from dealing with is causing the stress.

Sarno says things like accupuncture or chiropractic create a "placebo effect"-- or only temporary relief.

He also found that ruptured or bulging discs, or "compressed nerves" in the vertabrae have no physiological connection to causing pain.

All I can say is that after trying everything for my horrible back and leg pains and weakness, Sarno's book was the cure.

He's even suggested some allergies are stress-related as well.
posted by wfc123 at 9:06 AM on April 7, 2006

I'm able to give myself an erection just by thinking about it. Am I delusional?
posted by NationalKato at 9:13 AM on April 7, 2006

Probably. You failed to give me an erection.
posted by Gamblor at 9:17 AM on April 7, 2006

Disregard my previous comment. I didn't account for the time delay. Thanks!
posted by Gamblor at 9:22 AM on April 7, 2006

I had a semi when I opened this thread, where you thinking about mine?
posted by biffa at 9:23 AM on April 7, 2006

Ta-daaa!

*takes a bow*
posted by NationalKato at 9:26 AM on April 7, 2006

Ultimately, all pain is all in your head. It's not like pain exists outside of your senses--it's a perception. I wish we could stop denigrating things as "just in your head." Placebo is pretty damn powerful stuff.
posted by jefgodesky at 9:26 AM on April 7, 2006

So, this vibrational adjustment ... it vibrates?
posted by dhartung at 9:32 AM on April 7, 2006

Stop thinking so hard NationalKato, I'm running out of clean underpants over here.
posted by dr_dank at 9:35 AM on April 7, 2006

Those kids are hugging. That's where the pain starts.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:38 AM on April 7, 2006

I can make myself yawn by just thinking about it. Am I getting enough sleep?
posted by ook at 9:39 AM on April 7, 2006

I can stop hiccups by visualizing my diaphragm, explaining to it that it is mine, and I want it to stop doing what it's doing right now. Works every time.

Am I delusional?
posted by jon_kill at 8:58 AM PST on April 7

No, but if you can't tell the difference between this and Burda's claims, you're stupid.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 9:41 AM on April 7, 2006

Does Bahlaqeem accept collect phone calls? Can he straighten out a bad credit rating?
posted by Postroad at 9:46 AM on April 7, 2006

Can he make me straight?
posted by zonkout at 9:51 AM on April 7, 2006

You're thinking of NationalKato again.
posted by biffa at 9:53 AM on April 7, 2006

I like the testamonial on his home page from Daisy Mae, a bassett hound that he had "worked on" over the phone. That is freaking great.
posted by dammitjim at 9:53 AM on April 7, 2006

You feeling alright, Optimus Chyme?
posted by jon_kill at 9:56 AM on April 7, 2006

There, I just fixed Optimus Chyme telepathetically.
He's all better now.
posted by Floydd at 10:02 AM on April 7, 2006

My iron lung is working again!
posted by hal9k at 10:05 AM on April 7, 2006

zonkout:Can he make me straight?

You don't need a chiropractor, you need Liza Minelli.
posted by dr_dank at 10:05 AM on April 7, 2006

"Right now there are two reasons why this treatment may not work and they are 1) you really do not want to get better and / or 2) the pain or other symptom is there so that you can learn a lesson, which comes from the highest of sources."

If only I'd known about this logic as a teenager. What's that, you didn't get your paper delivered this morning? Maybe you didn't really want it. I hope you've learned a valuable lesson (from God).
posted by aparrish at 10:58 AM on April 7, 2006

Liza Minnelli will turn me straight? Now I'm confused!
posted by blucevalo at 10:59 AM on April 7, 2006

If only I'd known about this logic as a teenager. What's that, you didn't get your paper delivered this morning? Maybe you didn't really want it.

He must have had training as a psychotherapist.
posted by Feral at 11:05 AM on April 7, 2006

Interesting. Let's posit that I've got an ache (I do, actually, but bear with me) and I ask Dr. Burda to heal it. He attempts, and fails because I don't really want to be healed. I have successfully blocked Dr. Burda from affecting me. This would mean... I'm a more powerful psychic than Dr. Burda!
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:36 AM on April 7, 2006

Faint of Butt: No. It means someone has been praying for you. As shown in a thread that I am too lazy to link, someone praying for you makes you sick, which nullifies Dr Burda's power.

Now, let's all pray for Dr Burda.
posted by qvantamon at 11:47 AM on April 7, 2006

FOB-That was never in doubt, which is part of what makes Burda such a poseur.
posted by OmieWise at 11:58 AM on April 7, 2006

Charlie Sheen, is that you?
posted by OmieWise at 11:59 AM on April 7, 2006

You feeling alright, Optimus Chyme?
posted by jon_kill at 9:56 AM PST on April 7

Just fine. Why, did you pay someone to send telepathic destructo-rays at me?

People like Burda are sick, twisted, greedy parasites who produce nothing of value and who prey solely on the ignorant. I sincerely hope he gets a rapidly metastasizing cancer and finds out just how ridiculous and worthless his "powers" are, repenting his crimes when he dies horribly and painfully.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:12 PM on April 7, 2006

I had a semi when I opened this thread, where you thinking about mine?
posted by biffa at 2:23 PM on April 7 [!]

Let's all think of biffa's simultaneously and see what happens. You ready biffa?
posted by penguin pie at 12:24 PM on April 7, 2006

posted by NationalKato at 12:29 PM on April 7, 2006

Yuck. And there went my erection. NationalKato gives, and he taketh away.
posted by Gamblor at 12:40 PM on April 7, 2006

James Burda is a licensed Chiropractor, if you believe he is a "doctor" then you are delusional.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:03 PM on April 7, 2006

Faint of Butt: we must have a psychic duel.
posted by jenovus at 3:22 PM on April 7, 2006

Does a chiropractor have a Buddha nature?

It will take you 26 visits to find out. . . .
posted by rdone at 3:58 PM on April 7, 2006

Can he make me straight?

He'd be happy to try. I believe his motto is 'Never give a cocksucker an even break'.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:33 PM on April 7, 2006

People like Burda are sick, twisted, greedy parasites...

Sometimes. But you'd be surprised how often they're whackjobs who genuinely believe the bunk they're slinging. And reading Mr. "I-Made-Up-This-Word"s webpage, I'd speculate he stands among the latter.
posted by cribcage at 8:43 PM on April 7, 2006

Great weekend, thanks penguin pie and all.
posted by biffa at 3:51 AM on April 10, 2006