$220G? That's, like, 11,000 blink tags!

April 7, 2006 2:26 PM

NY Post Go$$ip Writer 4 $ale!The New York Daily News is reporting that Jared Paul Stern, a prominent New York Post gossip writer, attempted to extort over $220,000 from a frequent target of the oh-so-classy Page Six column in exchange for "protection" against "inaccurate and unflattering items." If we can't trust our gossip columnists, who can we trust? (via Fark)
posted by UKnowForKids (22 comments total)

Oy gevult!
posted by digaman at 2:50 PM on April 7, 2006

Imagine that man's life. The gossip columnist. Just imagine what you have to deal with, day in and day out. The things that you have to conjure an interest for, the people that you have to convince yourself are important, their actions essential. Imagine the people you surround yourself with, in both professional and social circles, people who are under the same trance. Conversations about where a somewhat famous actress ate dinner last night. You make good money and you go to nice bars in Manhattan. But watch yourself - if you enjoy too much success you become a target yourself. Hell, half of the people you write about exist in the same social circles as you. You have a reputation, people avoid you. But you keep working hard, because the dim light in your soul seeks the same fame and recognition you mock; you've always found a small pleasure in rubbing shoulders with the vice presidents of media corporations and editors of magazines and fashion designers of the city in which you live. You didn't have their skill or their pedigree but you wanted their life, and you gained access to their world by exposing their faults and publishing the most embarrassing moments of their lives. But still, it wasn't enough. Rent is rising. Your drug problem has gotten worse. Everyone else you know has a home in the country and it sounds nice. So you turn to blackmail. You use the power you've accumulated to fill your pockets, to keep up, to maintain the lifestyle you've become accustomed to. Just think about that life. The darkness. It goes beyond mere cynicism - nihilism. I can't even start. How does such a person come to exist? Mock if you must, mefites, but the man you are mocking is a sad and small little being, created by a crass and decrepit culture, the end result of our nation's disgusting fixation on celebrity and artifice, our joy in seeing someone famous wearing sweatpants or going through an ugly divorce. He is the pimple on the ass of our society, but it is still our ass.
posted by billysumday at 2:53 PM on April 7, 2006

Now THAT's a winning business plan!
posted by wendell at 2:53 PM on April 7, 2006

Nice rant, Billy!

You gotta love the Post's attempt to minimize the damage by stressing the fact that the guy was a "freelancer... who worked two days a week" on the column.

In the current journalistic job climate, full-time staff positions are becoming very rare.
posted by digaman at 2:56 PM on April 7, 2006

Imagine that man's life. The gossip columnist. Just imagine what you have to deal with...

Fuck that. Flip hamburgers. Shovel coal. Gossip columnist? You deserve what you get.

And what's with "via Fark"? Aside from being on the front page of CNN, this story was the cover of the Daily News this morning. Use the "via" credit when some random tale from Hicksville is brought to light by Fark or Slashdot, not to indicate that you rely on Fark to keep apprised of world events.
posted by cribcage at 3:03 PM on April 7, 2006

"Mock if you must, mefites, but the man you are mocking is a sad and small little being, created by a crass and decrepit culture, the end result of our nation's disgusting fixation on celebrity and artifice"

Having known someone in this profession, I can assure you such folk aren't "created" by a sick society hungry for gossip. Rather, a niche exists which is perfect for such people. They're scum to start with, and the gossip industry is just happy to hire them. They actually delight in ruining the lives and happiness of others. The money is a bonus.
posted by y6y6y6 at 3:04 PM on April 7, 2006

They're cookies made out of arsenic. I'd hate to take a bite out of them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:14 PM on April 7, 2006

This will forever be a stain on the reputation of Page Six.
posted by dhartung at 3:33 PM on April 7, 2006

*high fives Astro Zombie*

I love this dirty blue web site.
posted by dobbs at 4:01 PM on April 7, 2006

I know non-NYers will find it hard to believe but, tacky as it looks, Page Six is considered the gossip column, and it has a huge and devoted (i.e., obsessive) readership. I can't explain it. I also can't explain why it runs on page 8.

At least Stern has something else to fall back on.
posted by vetiver at 4:12 PM on April 7, 2006

Wow, I'm deeply shocked that gossip columnist lacks morals. And from the Post, no less.

Next you'll tell me real estate agents are only in it for the money.

(cool, fpp tho. Juicy details on the juicers.)
posted by lumpenprole at 5:08 PM on April 7, 2006

At least Stern has something else to fall back on.

Ah, yes his clothing line. He also has his website: Night & Day. Quite the "mover-and-shaker" -- or, so he thinks.
posted by ericb at 5:16 PM on April 7, 2006

I also can't explain why it runs on page 8.

Must be an insiders' thing. [wink, wink]
posted by ericb at 5:17 PM on April 7, 2006

At least Stern has something else to fall back on.

one of the links under "Skull & Bones in the press" is to Page Six, clicking on which results in a Page Not Found message.

I smell a conspiracy.
posted by pruner at 5:51 PM on April 7, 2006

At least Stern has something else to fall back on.

Looking on the positive side, this may well be the perfect opportunity to fulfil his ambition of working for Modern Drunkard.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:22 PM on April 7, 2006

I don't understand this story. Why would Burkle care what was written about him? He's a billionaire for god's sake. How in the world would Stern think he could get away with extorting him? Reading the the times coverage it appears that others have profited from the column so maybe I just don't get that threatening the egos of very rich people is easier, safer, and more profitable than I would have imagined it to be.
posted by rdr at 10:59 PM on April 7, 2006

How in the world would Stern think he could get away with extorting him?

because he had been getting away with that stuff for years?
he just got too greedy, and found somebody who took the trouble to alert the FBI and videotape the shakedown

Stern in pinstriped prison garb is indeed a funny image

and kudos to Astro and dobbs, Cliff Odets and Ernie Lehman are laughing their asses off somewhere in movie heaven
posted by matteo at 1:58 AM on April 8, 2006

And another high five for the zombie.

Especially since Stern affected to model himself after Winchell.


Lots of rumors about Harvey Weinstein paying off the Post too, which makes today's Page Six puff piece veerry verry eeeenteresting.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:52 AM on April 8, 2006

via
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:53 AM on April 8, 2006

I have something embarassing to confess: until yesterday, I worked for a gossip peddler.

More precisely, I worked as the backend programmer and web geek for a gossip "entertainment news" website. Thus, while not creating any gossip myself, I was enabling its existence. Paris Hilton's exploits, the impending delivery of TomKat's alien-child, David Hasselhoff's courtroom dramas--we would report it all with bated breath, and it all indirectly helped pay our bills. Dirty money.

Our boss was JJ Hunsecker incarnate, but shorter and Jewish and semi-closeted-gay. But his sheer fucking insanity, the drive to get the story and dish the dirt and OMG-guess-what-I-just-heard...that was all right out of the movie, only updated for 2006. You would not believe the stories I could tell about that place. I've told my family and I'm not sure even they believe all of it.

It was a dirty dirty job, and I'm glad I quit.
posted by Asparagirl at 11:03 AM on April 8, 2006

Oh, and y6y6y6's previous comment is right on the money:

"Having known someone in this profession, I can assure you such folk aren't "created" by a sick society hungry for gossip. Rather, a niche exists which is perfect for such people."

You said it. It's pure starfucking, only in the "fucking over" sense of the word.
posted by Asparagirl at 11:06 AM on April 8, 2006

Gossip reporter says he was set up.
posted by ericb at 8:49 PM on April 9, 2006