Clubbing a baby seal with a dead queen is murder, only it's really nothing.
April 7, 2006 6:36 PM Subscribe
Morrissey, famous animal rights activist, is following the example of Pamela Anderson and Paris Hilton, jumping onto the bandwagon of using his celebrity status to influence politics the world over. On tonight's agenda: Seal clubbing for fun.
Jesus Morrissey has cancelled his tour of Canada, in order to detract from national economy and punish Canada for its evil seal-hunting ways, comparing them to Nazis along the way.
His tour, however, still takes in the sights of Turkey, where even human rights are known to take the back foot. Furthermore, Turkey is a somewhat infamous site for animal rights abuses, and only passed its first law on the matter in 2001, under pressure from Gillian Anderson.
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