Pimp My Snack

April 11, 2006 9:38 AM

Finally, some pimping I can endorse. It started with cars, but the concept of "pimping" has quickly become passe. Until I saw this. Via Monkeyfilter
posted by kimdog (61 comments total)

Genius. The world is a better place with giant snacks in it.

(Though I still find the use of the term 'pimping' in this sense rather disturbing. I mean, are they missing out the bit where they beat the shit out of the snacks with a wire coathanger for not earning them enough money sucking blokes off down the docks?)
posted by jack_mo at 9:44 AM on April 11, 2006

Big = Pimped Out ?
posted by scarabic at 9:47 AM on April 11, 2006

I was going to say meh, but then I read the Pimped Twix project and noted this use of meh which contains a far harsher emotion than I would endorse:

So, to melt the chocolate. Take note, a metal bowl is fantastic for melting chocolate. This is because metal is good at conducting heat. Which will also be transmitted to your hand if you attempt to pick the bowl up once the chocolate is melted. Meh!

posted by OmieWise at 9:50 AM on April 11, 2006

"jammie wagon wheels"?
posted by boo_radley at 10:06 AM on April 11, 2006

I suppose I would appreciate this more if I were familiar with more than 3 of these snacks.
posted by puke & cry at 10:09 AM on April 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

This is quintessentially American and kind of depressing. Big is good, bigger is better and freaking huge is Teh Bestest!
posted by fenriq at 10:10 AM on April 11, 2006

The massive kitkat and wagon wheel are awesome. I love the cross sections and attention to details like the surface of the chocolate.
posted by mathowie at 10:11 AM on April 11, 2006

This is quintessentially American and kind of depressing.

It appears to be British, though, unless I'm mistaken
posted by ZippityBuddha at 10:17 AM on April 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

To paraphrase Ghostbusters: that's a big Kit-Kat.
posted by killdevil at 10:18 AM on April 11, 2006

Yeah, I was checking and it might not be American, but it could easily pass for American and that's the part that depresses me. But then, I guess gluttony and excess aren't limited to the US. We've infected our (shrinking pool of) allies as well.
posted by fenriq at 10:19 AM on April 11, 2006

This isn't pimp. Pimp is getting decked out with a lot of unnecessary doodads, whatsises and gizmos. What used to be called 'bells and whistles'.

This is just big ass snacks. Not that there's anything wrong with big ass snacks. On the contrary. But if they turned the big ass KitKat into a car with chrome wheels made with edible silver filigree balls, had a Krispy Kreme steering wheel and some hollow chocolate bunnies sitting on seats made of strawberry fruit leather, and maybe put some iced pound cake bumpers on the sides...that would be pimp.

Not to mention delicious.
posted by iconomy at 10:19 AM on April 11, 2006

OK, I just finished with the giant creme egg, and I'm sold. Shine on, you crazy diamond.
posted by boo_radley at 10:20 AM on April 11, 2006

By the way, don't miss this cooking with creme eggs post on Livejournal.
posted by mathowie at 10:24 AM on April 11, 2006

Surely a Chicken and Mushroom Pot Noodle has a soy sauce sachet and not tomato sauce? Also no chicken, but I'll let that go.
posted by biffa at 10:24 AM on April 11, 2006

fenriq writes "but it could easily pass for American and that's the part that depresses me."

Man, anyone who finds giant snacks like this depressing is un-American. As far as I'm concerned, and luckily, since I'm American my freedom allows me to decide, this is why all those boys died to keep me free. If this isn't an American site I want us to take it over.
posted by OmieWise at 10:25 AM on April 11, 2006

I was disappointed that the giant creme egg doesn't have a well-defined white vs. yolk. Highly improper.

This is quintessentially American I mean er that is
it might not be American, but it could easily pass for American and that's the part that depresses me. But then, I guess gluttony and excess aren't limited to the US. We've infected our (shrinking pool of) allies as well.

Oh, so the only reason that they're not limited to the US is that they got it from us. Got it.
Seriously, I usually ignore the charges of US-centrism leveled at MetaFilter, but occasionally I see their point!
posted by Aknaton at 10:25 AM on April 11, 2006

Um, that livejournal post is great.
posted by OmieWise at 10:28 AM on April 11, 2006

I don't know if you would call this "Pimping", but this site is nonetheless interesting. It has also been mentioned on Metafilter here.
posted by ArunK at 10:32 AM on April 11, 2006

Great indeed, OmieWise.

THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWESOME
posted by boo_radley at 10:36 AM on April 11, 2006

By the way, don't miss this cooking with creme eggs post on Livejournal.

My dad worked at Cadbury's, and one of the happiest days of my life was the day he brought home two jars of creme egg innards, one yolk, one white. Me and my sister made 'fried eggs' on toast. Then ran around at high speed for hours, off our tits on sugar. (We got to test new product ideas too - it was quickly established that if I loved a new sweet or snack it would bomb, or never even make it out of development, and if I hated it, it would be a seller. How I mourn the premature removal from the market of those amazing pale Cheezy Wotsit-esque lattice tube things with fake cream cheese inside!)
posted by jack_mo at 10:38 AM on April 11, 2006

Holy crap that makes my teeth hurt. Especially the giant creme egg thing.

Also, when I hear "pimp my snack" I think of, you know, adding lots of unnecessary bling to snacks, or improbable combinations of accessories and additives.

But giant sized snacks are awesome, too.

On preview: jack_mo, I'm jealous. I think. I don't know what I'd do with two huge jars of creme egg goop. Wait, yes, yes I do, that was a misstated. You don't want to know what I'd do with two huge jars of creme egg goop.
posted by loquacious at 10:44 AM on April 11, 2006

Aknaton, no, I was trying to be nice. But fuck nice.

These are disgusting edifices to excess. Giant food is like spitting in the face of hungry people, just like the gluttony contests where people stuff themselves with hot dogs or pies or whatever.

But hey, lust all you want. I'm sure hungry people all over the world won't mind a little more "Fuck you" from the Haves.
posted by fenriq at 10:45 AM on April 11, 2006

Fenriq, have a Kit-Kat.
posted by NationalKato at 10:50 AM on April 11, 2006

ZippityBuddha: "It appears to be British, though, unless I'm mistaken"

A telling detail (if you just go by the pictures and ignore the fact that he mentions Tesco and gives the prices in pounds) would be the washing machine visible in one of the kitchen shots. As far as I know the British are the only people to put that one in the kitchen, whereas in other countries it's placed most often in the bathroom or the cellar. Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.

Oh, and I think the whole "pimp"-idea is: exaggerate typical features of a product in an unnecessary and sometimes counterproductive way. Which leads to things like massive spoilers on cars that increase drag and lower the stability of the vehicle or to snacks that can't be eaten as a snack because the chocolate's too thick to bite through.
posted by PontifexPrimus at 10:52 AM on April 11, 2006

fun fact: "fenriq" means "buzzkill" in foreign tongues.
posted by boo_radley at 11:03 AM on April 11, 2006

What a fantastic quote on the main page :)
posted by wildilocks at 11:08 AM on April 11, 2006

To clarify: it's not that I disagree entirely with fenriq's opinion. We live in a gluttonous world. The 'haves' will always eat better than the 'have nots.' However, I think energy is better directed toward something like overstocked supermarket shelves and the sort of surplus production that is rampant in the food industry than Nathan's hot-dog eating contests and some dude's PimpKat website.
posted by NationalKato at 11:11 AM on April 11, 2006

But hey, lust all you want. I'm sure hungry people all over the world won't mind a little more "Fuck you" from the Haves.

Just once try pass up an opportunity to take it to the man.

I liked this site, a lot. It appeals to a the same part of me that tries to come up with ridiculous treats for my girls, like a marshmellow stuffed with chocolate chips then dipped in nuttela. I mean, shit, what's a day of hard work and safe, nutritious eating worth if you can't enjoy a stupid indulgence once in awhile. Save the righteous indignation for someone more deserving.
posted by docpops at 11:15 AM on April 11, 2006

If they'd put a little more work into that pimped KitKat, it could've been a work of art. Spread the layers out a bit: layer of wafer, layer of PB, etc etc.
posted by graventy at 11:15 AM on April 11, 2006

Key ingredients to a good website: Spaced references and incredibly large Jaffa Cakes.

That's what Web 2.0 should have been about!
posted by iso_bars at 11:29 AM on April 11, 2006

So, fenriq, if they didn't make those oversized snacks, does that mean ten hungry people get fed per unmade snack?

Just because someone gluttons out on a giant kitkat doesn't mean they aren't giving stuff to the food bank or sending a check to Feed the Children.
posted by konolia at 11:33 AM on April 11, 2006

Incorrigible.
posted by Nicholas West at 11:34 AM on April 11, 2006

It's DIY candy porn. Not a political statement.
posted by kimdog at 11:58 AM on April 11, 2006

This is quintessentially American and kind of depressing. Big is good, bigger is better and freaking huge is Teh Bestest!
posted by fenriq at 12:10 PM CST on April 11 [!]

I was just explaining this to a fellow mefite in meatspace yesterday.
posted by Ynoxas at 12:00 PM on April 11, 2006

Okay, I'll bite at Fenriq's comment and state that we should not have this site because massive food is an insult to those without food. That we should not enjoy expensive bicycles because most people have to go on foot. That we should not enjoy music on discs because most people don't have stereos.

Or, I could just put the comment down to whinging because while the amount of cognitive dissonance the average American and European carries around is quite depressing, complaining that everything over-the-top is an insult to those without comes off as needing a hair shirt and some place far away from well-adjusted people. It's the equivalent to ending every single comment with 'But people in Africa are starving!'
posted by Vaska at 12:09 PM on April 11, 2006

I don't see how making a large imitation of a candy or snack is any worse or more wasteful than, say, making a cake or a batch of cookies. I imagine that he'll still eat it all eventually, or enlist the help of friends.

I say we send giant novelty foods to the Third World. Who's with me?
posted by luftmensch at 12:19 PM on April 11, 2006

Aknaton writes "I was disappointed that the giant creme egg doesn't have a well-defined white vs. yolk. Highly improper."

That bothered me too, though I wondered how the heck you separate creme eggs. Then I saw jack_mo's comment. There are more things in heaven and earth ...
posted by Songdog at 1:12 PM on April 11, 2006

Big is good, bigger is better and freaking huge is Teh Bestest!

This may be the stereotypical view of an American, but I just wanted to pipe up that I drive an itty-bitty car (no, not a New Mini; my car is 13 years old), have a house that by current standards is tiny, but that by my standards is a bit too big, and if anything I'm underweight.

Then again, I'm not trying to compensate for a shortage elsewhere. Freaking huge is Teh Bestest!

Key ingredients to a good website: Spaced references and incredibly large Jaffa Cakes. That's what Web 2.0 should have been about!

Good news: that's what Web 3.0 is about.

I work for a big internet company who shall remain nameless. I get the insider info. FWIW, Web 4.0 is about a pony.
posted by davejay at 1:47 PM on April 11, 2006

Hey man... look a'that Twix bahr. That is HUGE. < / a href="http://www.cagebypage.com/images_art/snl/snl_2.html">tiny elvis >
posted by mazola at 1:52 PM on April 11, 2006

Hmm. looked fine in preview.
posted by mazola at 1:52 PM on April 11, 2006

I retract all previous comments in this thread due to a case of mean reds.

The cure was a walk in the park in the rain with my dog.

The one use I could see for a giant KitKat would be as a wedding cake for a pair of candy freaks. And that would be pretty cool.

Now, you kids, get off of my damned lawn.
posted by fenriq at 2:03 PM on April 11, 2006

Almost predictably, they're from Yorkshire.
posted by armoured-ant at 2:24 PM on April 11, 2006

This brought me much joy.
posted by reklaw at 2:35 PM on April 11, 2006

To be honest, the giant creme egg is one of the most revolting things I've ever seen. It's like a diabetic's H bomb.
posted by Nicholas West at 2:58 PM on April 11, 2006

The "cream" from those cadbury eggs made me feel a little billious. And the thought that this guy downed 26 of those things put me over the edge.
posted by crunchland at 3:24 PM on April 11, 2006

The one use I could see for a giant KitKat would be as a wedding cake for a pair of candy freaks.

AWESOME
posted by danb at 3:34 PM on April 11, 2006

I wonder if you could freeze the creme eggs, cut them into pieces, and seperate the creme colors. Just dumping them into a big shell is kind of a cop-out.
posted by puke & cry at 3:55 PM on April 11, 2006 [1 favorite]

I don't understand the giant kitkat thing... We already have giant kitkats, in New Zealand they're called (no shit) "Big Fingers", they're made by the same folks, they have kitkat logos on the pack, but they're big honking bars instead of little, err, fingers. So, pimp all the candy you like, but if the candy you pimp already has a factory model that kicks the arse off your after market thing? I'm not going to be so impressed. Maybe you could put an R-Type decal on the aftermarket pimpkat? That might do the trick.
posted by The Monkey at 4:07 PM on April 11, 2006

Additionally, I think that site is simply brilliant. My partner is an English ex-pat, and has a birthday coming up in a few weeks. I think I'll have to experiment with ridiculous cakes from that site to help in the celebrations.
posted by The Monkey at 4:15 PM on April 11, 2006

We already have giant kitkats, in New Zealand they're called (no shit) "Big Fingers",

The big kitkat is next to one of those big finger kitkats, on the picture, there, on that site. It is quite a bit smaller

Not that that means it is inferior, obviously
posted by ZippityBuddha at 4:21 PM on April 11, 2006

"Giant food is like spitting in the face of hungry people..."

Also, big buildings are like spitting in the face of the homeless. Once this thread is over, we should all go out and tear down some skyscrapers.
posted by CrayDrygu at 5:19 PM on April 11, 2006

I could have sworn that the giant Creme egg thing had been posted to the blue before, but as something separate, rather than part of a whole site. But the one I'm thinking of was a whole lot messier, so I might be wrong, and it was just a case of an idea being too good to be thought of by just a single person. Or something.

Either way, I'm somewhat annoyed that this guy was able to buy a crate of creme eggs and I'm reduced to waiting for my mom do send some through the mail or wait until next week to head home and stock up, since I've yet to find anywhere nearby that sells them. Curse you Brits and your easy access to Cadbury products! That said, his results are glorious.
posted by kosher_jenny at 5:54 PM on April 11, 2006

The furtivette recognized the burnt chocolate right away. "Oh, he put it in the microwave didn't he?"
posted by furtive at 6:39 PM on April 11, 2006

I'm sure hungry people all over the world won't mind a little more "Fuck you" from the Haves.

I'm not worried about it, as they don't have computers or the Internet either.
posted by kindall at 6:41 PM on April 11, 2006

CrayDrygu and kindall, perhaps you missed my retraction of the piss and vinegar from before or just don't care.

And kindall, actually, in my town quite a few of the homeless have internet access, its called the public library.
posted by fenriq at 7:04 PM on April 11, 2006

Yeah, I did miss that, sorry. (And I thought you were talking about, say, third-world denizens. Anyone who lives in America's hard to consider a have-not, even if they are "poor" by our standards.)
posted by kindall at 8:45 PM on April 11, 2006

Yeah, that giant Kit-Kat next to the merely big Kit-Kat needs a traditionally sized Kit-Kat included in the photo for a true comparison.

It would be even cooler if they had some morbidly obsese shirtless couch-fungii of an all American gluttony machine devouring the entire giant, pimped out Kit-Kat in full view of a bunch of filthy, impoverished homeless dudes.

Though, for their troubles I'd kick 'em a couple of bucks each for a bottle of Mad Dog or a forty.
posted by loquacious at 9:01 PM on April 11, 2006

Maybe one doesn't have to eat the entire Pimpkat in one sitting, alone. You could share it amongst friends.

OR

You could set up a store in Amsterdam's red light district and watch the tourist euros flood in. Munchies 'r' Us.
posted by asok at 9:42 PM on April 11, 2006

Making a giant KitKat out of four KitKat Chunkies.
posted by flashboy at 4:12 AM on April 12, 2006

The giant Creme Egg was very cool. But what you really want is a three-tier 50lb pork pie wedding cake
posted by Len at 5:51 AM on April 12, 2006

They didn't even deep fry it, I'm disappointed.
posted by mikeh at 8:14 PM on April 12, 2006