As long as the musical integrity isn't comprimised, I'm fine with it

April 16, 2006 11:20 PM

In the latest salvo of the marketing wars, London ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi has taken the unique step of creating a new pop band that combines all the manufactured charm of the Spice Girls with all the serious musical chops of a female version of N'Sync (or, for the Brits out there, a female version of "Take That"). The band has yet to have a name, but they will be available to directly promote whatever item corporate sponsors pay Saatchi to have them promote.
posted by jonson (45 comments total)

As a follow up to the story, the folks over at The Cure For Bedbugs have come up with a proposed name for this little abortion: The Lovemarks.
posted by jonson at 11:24 PM on April 16, 2006

Obvious, but it can never be said too often:

"By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers, Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously." - Bill Hicks, natch.
posted by quite unimportant at 11:27 PM on April 16, 2006

I love that name, jonson :)

But wasn't this done with the fanta girls?
posted by delmoi at 11:28 PM on April 16, 2006

Do you guy's remember when "All Your Base" was all the rage?

I was talking to this nerdy type guy, otaku would be a better word. Not technical or smart at all but really into comic books, anime, etc, etc.

Anyway, we were talking about AYB and he's like "The only thing wrong with it is that it's not attached to any commercial product!"

It just stunned me, this guy was complaning about the lack of a marketing tie in. That somehow the idea that culture could create something on its own without being manipulated for money was a problem for him.
posted by delmoi at 11:33 PM on April 16, 2006

Think about the number of steps it has taken to get where we are, from the Monkees, to the Orlando pre-fab pop of the 90's (Backstreet, N'Sync, etc) to reality musicians like American Idol or INXS Rock Star to the Fanta girls to this. The article (2nd link) ends with the ominous threat that if successful, this will lead to the creation of a rock band AND a comedian, all corporate born, trained, & kept on a leash to be released to the highest bidder, trading any artistic credibility for a chance to trick fans into liking something they otherwise wouldn't have tried. It's genuinely evil if you look at it as one giant leap, but in a series of a million little steps (the increase in marketing in our daily lives, the diminishing of the line between art & commerce, the lowered impact of television advertising, the increase in prefab pop like the Spice Girls, etc) it seems not only logical, but somehow inevitable. Christ I can't help myself but I do love evil marketing geniuses. I only wonder if this is by definition the goose that kills the golden egg. Does having a band that exists only to sell out kill the value of that band being associated with your product, because they are so inherently NOT street/real?
posted by jonson at 11:35 PM on April 16, 2006

The band has yet to have a name, but they will be available to directly promote whatever item corporate sponsors pay [...] them [to] promote.

Are you SURE you're not talking about the band Smash Mouth?
posted by Davenhill at 11:36 PM on April 16, 2006

Shhhhh. Some of us make our living off this tripe.
posted by ryoshu at 11:50 PM on April 16, 2006

Who didn't see this coming? Then again, all those that don't see this right here, right now, please report to the train station. Your re-education begins tomorrow.

/ this message brought to you by, Pepsi Blue
posted by C.Batt at 12:00 AM on April 17, 2006

pix?
posted by psychobum at 12:10 AM on April 17, 2006

In the latest salvo of the marketing wars, London ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi has taken the unique step of creating a new pop band

Ah, leave it to marketers to think they've actually invented something.
posted by loquacious at 12:27 AM on April 17, 2006

Really what's the difference between starting a group like this and hyping an existing, photogenic-but-not-particularly-musically-talented artist who in turn signs endorsements, etc.?

crud. on preview, what loq. said.
posted by juv3nal at 12:34 AM on April 17, 2006

Remember when Sigue Sigue Sputnik sold ad time in between their album tracks?
posted by First Post at 12:47 AM on April 17, 2006

Music industry experts hired by the agency are now grooming the would-be stars.
That sounds about right.
posted by seanyboy at 12:59 AM on April 17, 2006

I was sure this had to be a joke. But it isn't, is it?

At least they'll be human and not computer-generated.
posted by blacklite at 1:37 AM on April 17, 2006

"The Lovemarks" is a great idea, and not just because of the obvious Saatchi tie-in. Let's parse the tag: Everybody loves love, and the word mark is all too appropriate (even if marque is an even better fit).

If, for some reason, "The Lovemarks" cannot fulfill its duty, allow me to nominate a runner-up (with a nod toward Milli Vanilli and Ashlee Simpson): "The Faux Tones," anyone?
posted by rob511 at 2:11 AM on April 17, 2006

On the one hand, this is sad and depressing and a disturbing comment on advertising, as mentioned by several people above.

On the other hand, it's sheer diabolical genius. I fully expect them to become incredibly popular with the post-ironic hipster set. They'll be so obviously corporate shills that they've gone round the curve and become cool again.


GO LEMMINGS GO
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:42 AM on April 17, 2006

Yup, definitely downloading that's killing the music industry!
Makes me glad that there are still bands like Radiohead who (last I heard anyway) are wilfully obtuse and refuse to bow to any sort of sponsorhip.
posted by TwoWordReview at 3:18 AM on April 17, 2006

I'll get enraged about this when someone points out something in our culture that ISN'T about marketing and hype.. Hell the war on terror has managed to keep oil prices high and sell a shitload of duct tape!

I know, there are a few REAL things out there..but this concept isn't exactly new (as has already been pointed out).

meh....
posted by HuronBob at 4:11 AM on April 17, 2006

... but it can never be said too often...

Sure it can.

To paraphrase a wise man: Bill Hicks wasn't even Bill Hicks.
posted by lodurr at 4:55 AM on April 17, 2006

jonson: Does having a band that exists only to sell out kill the value of that band being associated with your product, because they are so inherently NOT street/real?

[queasy-shrug /] I dunno. Ever read "The Machine Stops"? It imagines a highly-stultified society of what amount to hive-dwelling people; in such a world, ideas only become palatable if you can be certain that many other people have had them first.

I see that sentiment around me all the time. It's present concurrently, and often in the same individual, with the idea that the new and different is inherently good by virtue of being new and different. (I suspect the apparent lack of cognitivie dissonance is due at least partly to that being a received, and not internally originated, idea.)

If we live in a mimetic ecosystem, as Wilson et al would propose, then the economic system is one of teh biggest evolutionary pressures we face. And marketing and advertising are surface manifestations of that system.
posted by lodurr at 5:03 AM on April 17, 2006

the serious musical chops of a female version of N'Sync

What have you been smoking?
posted by caddis at 5:16 AM on April 17, 2006

Wouldn't this have been a better idea back when N'Sync and the Spice Girls were still, you know, popular? Maybe there's an extra, vat-grown Duff sister that they could find instead.
posted by aaronetc at 6:08 AM on April 17, 2006

Can they do ass cream?
posted by Mr Bluesky at 7:01 AM on April 17, 2006

I'm not surprised it's being done. I'm just surprised how straightforward they're being about it. It's admirably honest and yet somehow sickeningly underhanded, all at the same time.
posted by wonkybusker at 7:15 AM on April 17, 2006

posted by I Love Tacos at 7:15 AM on April 17, 2006

You don't need credibility to be entertaining, and I think most people can see through pre-fab pop groups and product placement these days. I, for one, love advertisements. Bring 'em on.
posted by chudmonkey at 7:31 AM on April 17, 2006

It'll still be better than Coldplay. And the Dead.
posted by bardic at 7:52 AM on April 17, 2006

Isn't this the same trick that makers of soap operas started playing in the 1930s?
posted by rongorongo at 8:40 AM on April 17, 2006

Politicians have done this for centuries.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:46 AM on April 17, 2006

caddis writes "the serious musical chops of a female version of N'Sync

"What have you been smoking?"

I think it was a joke.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:47 AM on April 17, 2006

Dear MetaFilter:

Maybe you can help me figure something out: Why is it that when I look at the Fantanas, I do not feel in any way sexually aroused, even though they're all hot chicks, aren't wearing much clothing, and they move in what would normally be a provocative way? FYI, I am heterosexual and not impotent.

Your Pal,
Tanner Boyle Lodurr
posted by lodurr at 9:06 AM on April 17, 2006

I'd by that for a dollar.

Whenever I hear a commercial jingle, I feel bad for the singer. They must have gone to school or worked real hard for their voice and there they are, the best they can do is singing the phone number for a moving company.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:08 AM on April 17, 2006

Dear MetaFilter:

Maybe you can help me figure something out: Why is it that when I look at the Fantanas, I do not feel in any way sexually aroused, even though they're all hot chicks, aren't wearing much clothing, and they move in what would normally be a provocative way? FYI, I am heterosexual and not impotent.

Your Pal,
Tanner Boyle Lodurr
posted by lodurr at 11:06 AM CST on April 17 [!]

I dunno. 'Hot chicks' might be a bit of a reach. $5 says purple is a dude.
posted by ninjew at 10:11 AM on April 17, 2006

when I look at the Fantanas, I do not feel in any way sexually aroused

Anymore, I get this with nearly every magazine on the rack. Every single air-brushed contorted spine attached to a coyly angled head with the mouth open just so... blagh!

"Little Caulfield" (you know who I mean) doesn't find all this supermediated phoney baloney sexy at all. He justs wants to enjoy the sight of a pretty lady untainted by the knowledge that a massive psycho-engineering industry hasn't calculated and predicted his responses to within whatever degree of tolerance is required to sell Fanta.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:38 AM on April 17, 2006

Metafilter: $5 says purple is a dude.
posted by joe lisboa at 10:38 AM on April 17, 2006

[Nervous about personal preferences since the purple seemed most appetizing.]
posted by cavalier at 10:42 AM on April 17, 2006

Anymore, I get this with nearly every magazine on the rack. Every single air-brushed contorted spine attached to a coyly angled head with the mouth open just so... blagh!

"Little Caulfield" (you know who I mean) doesn't find all this supermediated phoney baloney sexy at all. He justs wants to enjoy the sight of a pretty lady untainted by the knowledge that a massive psycho-engineering industry hasn't calculated and predicted his responses to within whatever degree of tolerance is required to sell Fanta.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:38 PM CST on April 17

This raises an interesting question (for me, at least)... is generating sexual arousal necessary to sell a soft drink? Should I be worried if grape soda arouses my genitalia? Wait, purple is a dude. Shit, now I've caught the gay.
posted by ninjew at 10:46 AM on April 17, 2006

$5 says purple is a dude.

Not a chance. That would make them actually interesting.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 10:49 AM on April 17, 2006

They're 100% hotter if they're (or were) guys. Otherwise they're just sort of boring.
posted by terpsichoria at 10:51 AM on April 17, 2006

So....disco is back?
‘Cause I could get Steve Dahl to blow some of this stuff up, no problem. Especially now that old Comiskey is closed.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:41 PM on April 17, 2006

I am concerned that anyone would ever make any sort of euphemism out of "Little Caulfield".
...

But anyway. Yellow & Red seem alright, in a 60s sort of way. They definitely missed with Purple though. Orange looks like she wants to put me through an intense weight-training program.
posted by blacklite at 3:16 PM on April 17, 2006

Anyway, we were talking about AYB and he's like "The only thing wrong with it is that it's not attached to any commercial product!"

It just stunned me, this guy was complaning about the lack of a marketing tie in. That somehow the idea that culture could create something on its own without being manipulated for money was a problem for him.

Maybe he was trying to be out-there and original?

I mean, most of the typical reaction to this sort of ad-stunt can be boiled down into one of two reactions:

1. This is a travesty! What happened to genuine, untainted, authenticity, when music was all about the music, man?

2. Meh, if they sound ok and I get a free CD that promotes some product, whatever. I'll decide whether to buy the product based on its own merits, not whether they have a cheesy band promoting it. And, yeah, the band will probably rock as hard as N Sync...

So this otaku-guy's reaction is pretty original. Whacked-out and kinda dumb, but definitely original.
posted by theorique at 4:14 PM on April 17, 2006

People have been doing this for years to market a product called songs.
posted by fshgrl at 8:32 PM on April 17, 2006

More Hicks:

" 'Oh, you know what Bill's doing? He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart.' Oh, man, I am not doing that, you f**king evil scumbags! 'Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now? he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing.' "

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:15 PM on April 17, 2006

... the justaposition of that last phrase with the Hicks quote is kind of ... interesting....
posted by lodurr at 9:07 AM on April 18, 2006