The Birth of a Queer Nation

April 18, 2006 1:03 AM

The Birth of a Queer Nation. Determined to build a better world for future generations, the founding fathers and mothers set sail on 14 June 2004 in the Gayflower until they were washed ashore on the uninhabited Coral Islands. With the strains of Gloria Gaynor filling the tropical air, they hoisted the rainbow flag above the palm trees and white, sandy beaches. The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands was born.
posted by Falconetti (55 comments total)

I'm not seeing too many more 'generations' coming out of this experiment.
posted by delmoi at 1:07 AM on April 18, 2006

ha! that's funny! wait, no it's not.
posted by shmegegge at 1:12 AM on April 18, 2006

Great, now when global warming sends the Coral Sea Islands sinking into the brine, Pat Robertson's ideological descendants are going to be able to claim it's God's wrath against the sodomites ...
posted by bcveen at 1:27 AM on April 18, 2006

Good on them, I say, it seems they have really covered their asses in regards to the legality of their actions. I think this won't be in the same league as other armchair / micronations.

I'll bet the would-be rulers of Sealand, Republic of Minerva, etc, are seething with jealousy right now.
posted by Meatbomb at 1:46 AM on April 18, 2006

The Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands was born.

When does it get a seat on the Security Council?
posted by three blind mice at 1:54 AM on April 18, 2006

One of them website/claims that want to make you double check the calendar: today is not the 1st of April. Check.

So, good luck to them, then.
posted by NewBornHippy at 2:07 AM on April 18, 2006

I know it's juvenile, but when I see the list of Things To Do in the kingdom of queer, I start thinking they're all sexual euphemisms. Maybe they are?

• Camp under the stars
• Swimming
• Breakfast on the beach
• Reef walk
• Snorkel in the 3000 acre coral lagoon
• Sunbake on screech beach
• Lay a reef at the Gay & Lesbian memorial plaque
• Skin dive
• Fishing
• Photography
• Bird watching
• Collect seashells
• Swim to the ship wreck
posted by pracowity at 2:44 AM on April 18, 2006

Best unintended self-parody EVER.
posted by ParisParamus at 3:39 AM on April 18, 2006

Lay a reef...

Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Fuck. Ow. Yeah, typo, but still oh fuck ow.

Note: Injuring yourself on coral is bad. Coral can take root and grow in human flesh. Sea water and blood are quite similar. Do not have sex on, near or with the coral. Keep fleshy bits - namely all of you - away from coral.
posted by loquacious at 3:40 AM on April 18, 2006

Best unintended self-parody EVER.

That may be the least self-aware sentence ever typed by human hands.
posted by Optamystic at 3:50 AM on April 18, 2006

See, the gay agenda is real.
posted by 517 at 4:04 AM on April 18, 2006

Just a couple of questions:

> the list of Things To Do in the kingdom of queer

I don't see any mention of copra export or guano mining or any of that sort of island-paradise self-maintenance. The economics of the place are entirely based on remittances from Mom, then?

> International Law and the United Nation’s charter clearly states, “If an oppressed people
> occupy a territory and are governed by an overseas Colonial Government those said
> people have a right to self-determination”.

Nothing about the "oppressed peoples" being indigenous to the territory they occupy. Why not just occupy Fire Island?

posted by jfuller at 4:09 AM on April 18, 2006

we oughta put em all on an island- wait
posted by CeruleanZero at 4:15 AM on April 18, 2006

Yay for them!
posted by Drexen at 4:19 AM on April 18, 2006

The Gay & Lesbian Kingdom has the Euro as its official currency.

I applaud this choice!

Is it really so easy to claim a desert island for yourself? why did no one tell me before? (well, "easy" supposingly includes having the money to build a tourist development on it)
posted by funambulist at 4:23 AM on April 18, 2006

Snorkel in the 3000 acre coral lagoon

Heh... they said "snorkel"...
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:44 AM on April 18, 2006

"Nothing about the "oppressed peoples" being indigenous to the territory they occupy. Why not just occupy Fire Island?"

LOL. I love Fire Island--please don't!
posted by ParisParamus at 4:56 AM on April 18, 2006

The wonderful Wiki has some more info on this...

Evidently they are having some internal problems and various groups splitting off... sounds like the gay version of Survivor!
posted by HuronBob at 5:12 AM on April 18, 2006

Homophobia is nothing less than sexual racism...

...and when I get this feeling, I want sexual racism!

The Gay Government is very serious about what we are trying to achieve and that is a homeland for gay & lesbian people.

Can someone tell me what language they speak in the Gay Kingdom?
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:23 AM on April 18, 2006

I've been looking for a country to invade...
posted by RufusW at 5:32 AM on April 18, 2006

It looks like a travel brochure.
posted by Atreides at 5:36 AM on April 18, 2006

I guess taking over Karg Island, part of Iran, wouldn't have cut it.
posted by ParisParamus at 5:40 AM on April 18, 2006

Can someone tell me what language they speak in the Gay Kingdom?

Polari?
posted by mkhall at 5:46 AM on April 18, 2006

Finally...a place where the women are all strong, the men are good looking and the children are all above average!
posted by bim at 5:57 AM on April 18, 2006

The Gay Government is very serious about what we are trying to achieve and that is a homeland for gay & lesbian people.

Everyone wins!
posted by Witty at 6:00 AM on April 18, 2006

The About Us page is About Australia.
posted by Joeforking at 6:12 AM on April 18, 2006

I don't like kingdoms of any size , shape and sexual orientation. Yet of course must be the reason why I am king of my castle.
posted by elpapacito at 6:22 AM on April 18, 2006

From the website:

"It declared it's independence from Australia..."

and from the Queen's English, it seems.

Not that there's anything WRONG with that.
posted by Mike D at 7:21 AM on April 18, 2006

this thread's helping a few folks here really look like enormous bigoted homophobes.
posted by wakko at 7:22 AM on April 18, 2006

I've scanned the thread a few times, and don't see any posts that indicate that the poster is an enormous bigoted homophobe. So, either I am an enormous bigoted homophobe, or someone is being overly-sensitive.

And it isn't the former.
posted by Tullius at 7:30 AM on April 18, 2006

Making fun of someone does not make you a bigot. It just makes you funny. Just look at jonmc. Think he's a bigoted nazi?! Fuck all, he's just funny.
posted by zpousman at 7:31 AM on April 18, 2006

this thread's helping a few folks here really look like enormous bigoted homophobes.

Because we only like homosexuals who use good grammar and don't talk like Gender Studies majors circa 1994?
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:34 AM on April 18, 2006

Environment - current issues: ...90% of all the fish and marine animals in the Kingdom are transgendourous and change sex at least once in their lives

That's my favorite enticement.
posted by fugitivefromchaingang at 7:37 AM on April 18, 2006

Dale I is pretty adorable as Emperors go.
posted by maryh at 7:56 AM on April 18, 2006

I love it! They declared war on Australia, and since Australia failed to re-acquire the territory (lost the war to a seated prince) they gain sovereignty! That is friggin' awesome. Too bad the coral island is only 3 square miles. Not really much room to do anything other than pitch a tent. heh.
And you have to park your boat offshore? No-can-do, especially since all I've got is this little dingy.
heh.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 7:58 AM on April 18, 2006

This is going to be just like fucking Canada - love it there, support everything it's about, but they won't let me expatriate because I'm not a "native."
posted by nanojath at 8:18 AM on April 18, 2006

But do kingdoms usually have more than one Queen?
posted by Captain_Tenille at 8:19 AM on April 18, 2006

Wikipedia article on the islands and the controversy.
posted by johnjreiser at 8:26 AM on April 18, 2006

Do you get there by taking the ferry from Queensland?

sorry.
posted by eisbaer at 8:28 AM on April 18, 2006

eisbear: Flagged as fabulous.
posted by Zozo at 8:39 AM on April 18, 2006

Idyllic gays-only resort? Yes. Self-sufficient micronation? It'll never happen.
posted by etoile at 8:40 AM on April 18, 2006

I was thinking of going and pretending I'm gay, just so I can fuck the lesbians to procreate. Fem, dyke; I don't care. Easy lay. [I'm so lonely!]
posted by sluglicker at 9:51 AM on April 18, 2006

i have to agree that the comments here are not making MeFi look good. not that you asked, but -
posted by mdn at 9:58 AM on April 18, 2006

Optamystic wrote:
That may be the least self-aware sentence ever typed by human hands.

@ParisParamus
I must disagree. That was the best unintended self-parody EVER.
posted by sluglicker at 10:01 AM on April 18, 2006

> Homophobia is nothing less than sexual racism...

Everybody's dying to play the race card. My latest movements are anti-SUV racism, anti-Republican racism (lots of that around here,) anti-Microsoft-Office-applications racism, and anti-pastel-colored-drinks-with-little-umbrellas racism. FIGHT THE HATERS!

posted by jfuller at 10:47 AM on April 18, 2006

I think people are being snarky because, on face, the idea of establishing a nation based on sexual identity is rather absurd.

There has to be more to building a functioning society than the apotheosis of identity politics. I could be wrong though: it works swimmingly in the Balkans.

Since many people here have good absurdity detectors, they responded in kind.

I hereby apologize for making anonymous people on the internet look bad to other anonymous people on the internet with my snarky comment.

As for the dog-eared race card, that is the logical result of years of abuse of identity politics. You can see it in the persecution complex of US Evangelicals and conservatives.

It's a rhetorical strategy having its last gasp.
posted by eisbaer at 11:10 AM on April 18, 2006

Near OZ their is a queer land

with same gender fun in the sand

I can't for the life'O me

see an economy

that's based just on "jobs" for the hand
posted by Megafly at 11:16 AM on April 18, 2006

The only way on or off the island is on Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride...
posted by Perigee at 12:07 PM on April 18, 2006

I'm not seeing too many more 'generations' coming out of this experiment. - delmoi

*raises fist*
Children of queers represent!
posted by raedyn at 12:54 PM on April 18, 2006

LOL. I love Fire Island--please don't!
Best unintended self-parody EVER.

There.

That's better.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:01 PM on April 18, 2006

I hope they turn into a superpower and grind Australlia into the dust.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:34 PM on April 18, 2006

I'm not seeing too many more 'generations' coming out of this experiment.

Actually, things. could work out quite nicely. Two words -- turkey baster. I'm sure many of the boys would be happy to make a "donation" for procreation purposes. Some gay men want kids just as much as do lesbians. The children could even be then raised communally without the interference of bigoted state laws and the extremely bigoted church (in many cases). Sounds quite nice.

*raises fist*
Children of queers represent!

You them tell ,sista.

sluglicker -- I was thinking of going and pretending I'm gay, just so I can fuck the lesbians to procreate. Fem, dyke; I don't care. Easy lay. [I'm so lonely!]

Put down the crack pipe, dude. The ladies on the island have no more interest (or need) in f*%king you than do the ladies near where you live. There's a reason why you're lonely....
posted by bim at 4:59 PM on April 18, 2006

I'm disturbed by this person claiming the title "emperor". Why does it have to be a monarchy? Isn't that rather, I dunno, 20th, no, 19th, no, wait, 18th century? Just because it's a bunch of queens, some joker decides to be emperor?

As for the turkey baster progeny, what happens to the straight offspring? Will they be exiled?

I very much appreciate their reason to do this. Australia seems to be trying desperately to out-USian the US (why, I can't begin to guess), at least in the homophobic department. At least this means America isn't the only 1st-world country run by homophobes.

Economy based on tourism, I suppose? Is the labor supply cheap enough? And what about those nasty box jelly fish I've read about, are they sharing the lagoon?
posted by Goofyy at 1:51 AM on April 19, 2006

What a fabulously silly idea.
posted by raedyn at 8:42 AM on April 19, 2006

Shouldn't it be a Queendom?
I can't believe no one has asked that yet.

And hey, what about bisexuals? I'll sue for discrimination!!
posted by deborah at 8:29 PM on April 20, 2006