Vaginas, Vaginas, Vaginas!

April 19, 2006 3:37 AM

The Vagina Institute [NSFW]. Everything you've ever wanted to know about vaginas.
posted by Effigy2000 (50 comments total)

This appears to be a subscription-only site with entirely questionable content.
posted by rxrfrx at 3:41 AM on April 19, 2006

This is basically spam.
posted by Savvas at 3:53 AM on April 19, 2006

It would be cool if, when you opted to subscribe, they issued a police style badge you could flash. "Vagina Institute. I'd like to ask you some questions."
posted by Scoo at 3:54 AM on April 19, 2006

It appears to be written by morons. Male morons.
posted by The Monkey at 3:55 AM on April 19, 2006

It was my girlfriend who found the site and showed it to me. She found it useful. After having a look through, I thought (still think) that there is enough non-subscription material here to make the site post worthy.

If you disagree with me, I apologise. I shall leave the fate of this post in the hands of the mods. Flag away!
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:06 AM on April 19, 2006

eiffigy : it's not that we disagree with you, it's the content some disagree with. Not because we are prudes (my post can contain a link to jackingworld without me gasping for a second) but becuase

a) it's payola site, which I have prejudice about, sex-ed should be free and not include only the mechanics of plumbings
b) there is some insanity written like "having a beautiful vagina is important ! " which is false misleading..no need to add more appaerance fears to females.
posted by elpapacito at 4:13 AM on April 19, 2006

I understand that those objecting to this post aren't prudes. I appreicate the nature of their complaints; namely, that this site is "essentially spam." I wondered if I should post it for that exact same reason. Eventually I made a decision that the site had enough free information there to negate that element, and so I decided to post this and let the site stand on its merits.

Again, if I'm wrong, I apologise. If it's decided this post is to be deleted, then so be it. I'd understand. Really, I would. But if it stands, then that'd be even cooler.
posted by Effigy2000 at 4:17 AM on April 19, 2006

The quality of the writing stinks, and I'd barely got anywhere near the vaginas.
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:20 AM on April 19, 2006

Sounds like my life, NinjaTadpole.
posted by Justinian at 4:28 AM on April 19, 2006

If it's decided this post is to be deleted, then so be it. I'd understand. Really, I would. But if it stands, then that'd be even cooler.

Then why don't ya give another look around the net and find some other vagina related site ? It's not like there's a shortage of curiosity for the topic and the post can stand !

The scariest of em all is Vagina Dentata (NSFW)
posted by elpapacito at 4:31 AM on April 19, 2006

A PHOTO OF YOUR BREASTS.

Send a photo of your breasts to create an illustrated breast encyclopedia showing the diversity in women’s breasts in shape, size and form from all age groups. You can remain anonymous by sending a photo of your bust only. Alternatively if you are not shy you can send a full frontal nude.

I think this might have been written and orchestrated by a man.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:37 AM on April 19, 2006

I guess it is a technically useful site, but the English is so bad as to make it possible for women to make horrible mistakes if they aren't paying close attention. We males don't want to eat swampy roast beef due to a typo.
posted by Clamwacker at 4:37 AM on April 19, 2006

elpapacito - I don't know if this is what you expected when you posted that, but I have a question for the ages: why is it that Latin phrases sound acceptable (ie, vagina dentata), when "fang 'tang" would've sounded so horrific? I mean, they MEAN the same thing, don't they?
posted by Clamwacker at 4:42 AM on April 19, 2006

So is this where you go to become a forensic vagina specialist?
posted by localroger at 4:50 AM on April 19, 2006

If they called it the Vulva institute I might have more respect for it. Maybe.
posted by Hildegarde at 4:52 AM on April 19, 2006

It was my girlfriend who found the site

Yup, I haven't been googling for vaginas either. Never. Not for a single minute.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:57 AM on April 19, 2006

localroger - You don't want to be a forensic vagina specialist.

If you think you do - go to Wal-Mart. Then, every time you see a woman, ask yourself: "do I want to inspect her vagina?"

99 times out of 50, you'll say no. Absolutely no. Not even for a six-figure paycheck.
posted by Clamwacker at 5:05 AM on April 19, 2006

MeTa.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:11 AM on April 19, 2006

The current thread arriving on the heels of this? Yikes! Is Brangelina's vagina in here somewhere. ;)
posted by bim at 5:12 AM on April 19, 2006

lol 99 times out of 50? We're gonna have a population problem if that's true. :)
posted by Malor at 5:13 AM on April 19, 2006

I found the site All About My Vagina very useful in finding out more about the mysterious inner workings of women; although the texts are hardly scientific and only present one woman's opinion it helps a lot to see this kind of knowledge explained from a female perspective. Interesting reading, to say the least, and probably a good site for women to nudge their boyfriends to if they show a lack of experience or knowledge...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 5:14 AM on April 19, 2006

Great FPP! Not because the site has any value, but because it's amazing there's a site like this out there. Read some of it out loud; it sounds like sketch comedy:

And you thought you had a bad day! Talk about embarrassing things that some women go through with their vaginas. Vaginas can cause public embarrassment when you least expect it.

The whole point of it seems to be... to make women feel insecure about their vulvas? So that they click on one of the many links for "vaginal enhancement" and, hopefully, pay for treatment?
posted by skryche at 5:17 AM on April 19, 2006

Malor, I deal in very specific statistics. You'll see what I mean when and if you encounter the average Wal-Martian vagina.
posted by Clamwacker at 5:22 AM on April 19, 2006

They have an affiliate program.
posted by beerbajay at 5:28 AM on April 19, 2006

And banners, too! (NSFW)

This is a dressed-up porn site.
posted by F Mackenzie at 5:33 AM on April 19, 2006

Over in the Meta thread, Jessamyn linked to this subpage, "Real or Designer Vaginas?" I quote:

As you know, many women are getting their vaginas surgically enhanced (designer vaginas) to make them prettier and more feminine. Can you distinguish which female genitals designer vaginas and which are natural?

Oh. My. God. How much more 'feminine' can you get than a VAGINA?
posted by Malor at 5:37 AM on April 19, 2006

Breast augmentation-check

Lipo'd butt and hips-check

Botulism injected into my forehead-check

Plastic surgery on my labia-check

Lovely, now I can be cast in The Real Housewives of Orange County
posted by hollygoheavy at 5:46 AM on April 19, 2006

99 times out of 50, you'll say no.

Those would all be clams that clamwacker wouldn't whack then?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:52 AM on April 19, 2006

Can one have vaginal cavities removed?

And, if so, is drilling involved?
posted by flarbuse at 6:12 AM on April 19, 2006

OK so the real or designer vagina thing... I got 3 out of 12 right and it WOULDN'T TELL ME THE RIGHT FRICKIN' ANSWERS. I know, as the owner of one of these newfangled vagina things, my experience is fairly limited, but... 3 out of 12?
posted by handee at 6:13 AM on April 19, 2006

The best part of the site isn't the close ups pictures of the vaginas that seem to be on every page, it's the captions:

United States: I would encourage my girlfriend to exercise her vagina when I notice she is getting loose.

or

United States: I just wish more women would worry about the smell of their vaginas.

Endless hilarity. I can't wait to show my wife.
posted by illovich at 6:15 AM on April 19, 2006

9 out of 12 designer labia! Hmm, have I been exposed too much...?
posted by anthill at 6:24 AM on April 19, 2006

Hmmm . . . I think this is porn. Sneaky, sneaky porn.
posted by Toecutter at 6:28 AM on April 19, 2006

why is it that Latin phrases sound acceptable (ie, vagina dentata)

Maybe because latin is still used in medical professions so it sounds more "scientific" and serious, less titillating ?
Damn if I know ! :)

Even weirder, people who translated from latin in their highschool times may remember "et gladium traxit ex vagina" which caused some hilarity because it means " and he extracted the sword from the scabbard" , scabbard being called "vagina" in latin.
posted by elpapacito at 6:31 AM on April 19, 2006

ENTER A WOMAN'S VAGINAL INSECURITIES is possibly the best link text ever.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:47 AM on April 19, 2006

I vote for an elaborated college prank. I'm too lazy to lookup who's registering all them sites.
posted by NewBornHippy at 6:56 AM on April 19, 2006

Can one have vaginal cavities removed?

Vaginas can be removed, and are sometimes in the case of some kinds of cancer (Suzanne Kessler talks about this in "Lessons from the Intersexed").

The site looks like a way to drum up demand for the whole "designer vagina" thing. Kind of scary and creepy stuff. You can get some before and after pictures here (The link is fairly SFW, but if you click around there are pictures. Also note that I have a distorted sense of what might be safe for work since I found and studied this site in the context of my work.)
posted by carmen at 7:00 AM on April 19, 2006

My Gods. I think it's sad that sites like this come up when a woman searches for information on her own body, possibly out of insecurity, and instead of getting good information, just gets something that preys further on her insecurities. (Actually, come to think of it, it happens with men, too.)

Anyway, I have a few choice words for anyone who thinks the natural smell or look of ladybits is a problem. And most of them are, "Eat me."
posted by WidgetAlley at 7:03 AM on April 19, 2006

I have a feeling that the authors of this site may not be native English speakers, much less scientists.

Evidence:

Do you know what other women are doing to control their vaginal odors and keep them amiss?

Many things cause the vagina to emit foul odors and smells. From decease to other, more simplistic causes can provoke your vagina to get a bit funky, which can ultimately be corrected in one way or an other.
posted by adgnyc at 7:08 AM on April 19, 2006

The FPP is misleading. The site has far more than I ever wanted to know and very little I actually did.
posted by Pollomacho at 7:45 AM on April 19, 2006

i can imagine a group of guys sitting around trying to figure out how they can get naked photos of girls sent to them....

there is alot of garbage and untruths on that page, and it horrifies me that women that see this are now going to be stressing over how pretty their vagina is, or isnt.

just because it might look like science... doesnt mean its science.


the aforementioned All About My Vagina... now that is an incredibly informative site ran by an openminded woman.
posted by trishthedish at 8:19 AM on April 19, 2006

sex-ed should be free

.. as should porn. Once the financial reward is removed all the fakery that ruins the experience for all will dissolve back onto the sociopathic capitalist abyss from where it came.

Mind you, the internets (and a few other media platforms) will loose their primary driver for technological progress.
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:00 AM on April 19, 2006

knight: I don't think pr0n should be free. Actually I think it would be advantageous for girls to pose nude and sell their pictures to obsessed males, assuming the model takes most of the income (which is unlikely, but more probable thanks to the net). Of course some pr0n would remain free as in public domain.

But sex-ed would probably sensibily reduce the demand for p0rn, from an addiction-like demand to a pubescent natural curiosity demand and reduce a number of sexual related problems. Therefore it should be free for the whole society to enjoy the benefits.
posted by elpapacito at 10:18 AM on April 19, 2006

I've heard of men getting surgery to increase size (and I've read that the majority are completely dissatisfied with the results), but I've never heard of men getting surgery to improve a crooked, turkey-neck peen or wrinkly, saggy scrotum. I'm tired of all the sub-standard, irregular male genitalia out there. So get to it. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, boys.

Seriously, though. All those teeny tiny hairless pink vaginas are creeping me out. Is this the aesthetic ideal for female genitalia? Does "feminine" mean underdeveloped, immature, something that looks like it will tear the first time a normal penis gets anywhere near? The implications of that are pretty fucking scary.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get my anus bleached.
posted by cilantro at 10:25 AM on April 19, 2006

The quality of your vulva is of 0 points.
Based on the answers that you have provided, your Vulva and Vagina is of extremely poor quality

Is it me, or is the purpose of this site to induce in women the kind of insecurity men have about their penises?
posted by Nelson at 10:34 AM on April 19, 2006

Is it me, or is the purpose of this site to induce in women the kind of insecurity men have about their penises?

I pretty sure, judging from the popularity of plastic surgery, make up, panty hose and Victoria's Secret, that women don't need a whole lot more inducement in that direction.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:53 AM on April 19, 2006

I wonder if the poor girl with the tape measure imagined anything like this when she signed the stockphoto release form.
posted by miniape at 4:03 PM on April 19, 2006

All you need to know:

You want one.

The carrier baggage ain't worth it.
posted by HTuttle at 5:29 PM on April 19, 2006

They lost me at the "beautiful vagina vs ugly vagina" comparisons. Where the fuck do these idiots get off acting like there's some standardized agreement on vaginal beauty? Fuck off, wankers.
posted by squirrel at 6:50 PM on April 19, 2006

I find the lack of penis mentioning in this post's title and description disturbing. What about our friends at the Penis Institute?
posted by sjvilla79 at 12:42 AM on April 21, 2006