I told you it was stupid.

April 19, 2006 9:30 AM

Smash through blocks of ice with your fist. [Flash, stupid]
posted by Armitage Shanks (31 comments total)

So I got to the end and it jus stopped. Weird.
posted by aubilenon at 9:35 AM on April 19, 2006

There's a double-thick wall of ice at the end that he always seems to headbutt. Because of that, I have not seen the promised "memorial banner".
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:39 AM on April 19, 2006

I head-busted through, lost my jacket, got nothing but an annoying drumloop and a blank screen to show for it.



YESSSSS!!!
posted by stenseng at 9:40 AM on April 19, 2006

"I told you it was stupid."

Liar!

But it was kind of fun...
posted by Stauf at 9:50 AM on April 19, 2006

Agreed... stupid. But momentarily entertaining, in an ultimately unsatisfying way. Like porn. It's this kind of thing that makes me wonder where all the time went at the end of the day. Thanks, internet! I can't stop myself from exploring each useless corner of crap that somebody puts on their site.
posted by dammitjim at 9:51 AM on April 19, 2006

I like it.
posted by mr.marx at 9:52 AM on April 19, 2006

Oh wait, you did say it was stupid. For some reason I read "Flash, stupid" as "Flash, you idiot". Hm, so yeah, that second interpretation seems to be more appropriate now.
posted by Stauf at 9:53 AM on April 19, 2006

It's more fun letting your guy run into the wall.
posted by philcliff at 9:57 AM on April 19, 2006

Yeah, stupid was an unfortunately ambiguous reference to the game, not the reader. I am still stupid however, because I can't smash through the last wall.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:58 AM on April 19, 2006

That game was six kinds of pleasurable. I'd list them, but one of the pleasures is not having to talk about the other five.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:04 AM on April 19, 2006

I can't believe i played that long enough to beat it.
posted by empath at 10:07 AM on April 19, 2006

I agree with philcliff -- it's more entertaining watching him bump into the wall and hold his nose in pain than smashing through them.
posted by antifreez_ at 10:16 AM on April 19, 2006

Yes, this was stupid. And yet, I still clicked on it, and still spent 5 minutes playing it.
posted by sharpener at 10:18 AM on April 19, 2006

so is the game broken or does it just stop like that on purpose? That is pretty stupid.
posted by puke & cry at 10:24 AM on April 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

I haven't played many games that are as fun to lose as this one. Great stuff!
posted by pinespree at 10:29 AM on April 19, 2006

So dumb, it's plumb fun.
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:45 AM on April 19, 2006

This was a high point in my day. Seriously.
posted by brownpau at 10:48 AM on April 19, 2006

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice.
posted by bitmage at 11:24 AM on April 19, 2006

Egads! It's a viral! I thought the name sounded familiar, and sure enough, the game's a promotion for Nex, the mutant love child of Pepsi and Suntory.
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:29 AM on April 19, 2006

I was hoping this was a promotional gimmick for some new product that, if purchased, would somehow allow me to actually smash through bricks of ice.

le sigh.
posted by Parannoyed at 11:34 AM on April 19, 2006

the game's a promotion for Nex, the mutant love child of Pepsi and Suntory.

Aha! If you play that version, you're rewarded with a Pepsi at the end. The Hedonistica version I linked to has been edited to preserve your integrity.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 11:39 AM on April 19, 2006

The Hedonistica version also seems to run a little smoother, and thus faster. It was a lot harder for me to bust through the final wall, whereas in the "official" version I did it after a couple tries. That said, for me the appeal was how genuinely excited the suit guy seemed to get every time he busted through.

YEEEESSSS!
posted by kyleg at 12:17 PM on April 19, 2006

I wish the soundtrack to this was The United States of Whatever by Leland whassisfuck...
posted by klangklangston at 12:20 PM on April 19, 2006

Too easy to beat and no payoff.
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:21 PM on April 19, 2006

Too easy to beat and no payoff

What's the difference between an armless hooker who takes American Express and this game?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 12:23 PM on April 19, 2006

That's correct and you've cleared the category. /Trebek
posted by sonofsamiam at 12:25 PM on April 19, 2006

hm, watching and listening to that guy suck down that cool, refreshing nex™ is pretty gross.
posted by puke & cry at 12:42 PM on April 19, 2006 [1 favorite]

What's the difference between an armless hooker who takes American Express and this game?

Timing! No...

The game has... cameras? No, that's not it. Okay, I give up.
posted by nanojath at 12:44 PM on April 19, 2006

I couldn't get this to load, for which I am thankful. My RL experience with punching ice is that it makes your knuckles bleed.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:40 PM on April 19, 2006

Wow, that was stupid.

And physically impossible to play on an older machine in Firefox. I'd let him just run into the wall over and over out of sheer spite, but I still have Truck and Stair Dismount installed on this box.
posted by loquacious at 6:57 PM on April 19, 2006

Just had a flash of awesome: What if the game was shown in 3D, the dude and the ice bricks were physics-enabled, and you controlled his running speed.

Also, nice chunky soundfx for the sound of facemeat wetly slamming into the unyielding ice would be lovely. Along with the appropriate "skull bounce" factor.
posted by Tzarius at 2:31 AM on April 20, 2006