Comments on: Canadian PM has hunger for human flesh.

Canadian PM has hunger for human flesh.

patr1ck — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:22:28 -0800

Canadian PM Stephen Harper eats babies. Or at least that's what many Toronto commuters read on their commutes Thursday, Friday, and Monday (they decided to leave the news up over the weekend). Another case for real news becoming more like The Onion?

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:31:44 -0800

David Cross, on the terror alert system, which seems to be raised whenever things are going bad for Bush: "I'm sure there's a guy in the White House, 'Uh, Derek, flip it to orange. Wait, what's that? Oh, oh shit, the President just killed and ate a Jewish baby -- flip that thing to red ...' That's the only crazy evil thing for Bush left to do ... 'Mmm, that's good Jew-baby heart! What're ya gonna do, Grandma, vote for Kucinich?'"

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:32:21 -0800

These Ontario politicians...first McGuinty eating kittens, and now Harper eating babies. Just nobody eat any tuna, OK?

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:34:37 -0800

Dimitris Soudas, a spokesman for Prime Minister Stephen Harper, described the hacker's actions as "inappropriate and disrespectful." And, well, funny.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:35:25 -0800

You're a little dumpling, aren't you, huh? I could just eat you up!

By: antifreez_

antifreez_ — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:35:47 -0800

Haha! It's funny because it's true!

By: Staggering Jack

Staggering Jack — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:35:47 -0800

The ingenious hacker made sure that suburban commuters in at least five different cars continued to get his or her subliminal message. I don't think the reporter knows what subliminal means.

By: Robot Johnny

Robot Johnny — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:37:10 -0800

The final line could be the best part: Nicholls said: "I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he, in that time, eat a baby."

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:39:04 -0800

That's the money quote right there, RJ. I want to see tomorrow's headlines: "Harper associate denies baby-eating allegations."

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:44:01 -0800

Just last week, the Star and the Globe had this hilarious picture of a baby pinching Harper's nose. Now of course I can't find it (argh). I wonder if the baby was trying to avoid Harper smelling its irresistable aroma...

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:44:49 -0800

You know, the Conservatives really need to realize that carrying this off with a laugh and a few pithy quips is their best bet, while the slightest bit of huffiness will make them look like idiots. Canadians LOVE politicians who can take a joke. Unprepared as Kim Campbell was for being PM, I still have fond memories of the time (circa the flap over Bill "I never inhaled" Clinton) she was was asked if she had ever smoked pot. She said, "Yes I did. And I inhaled the smoke."

By: patr1ck

patr1ck — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:47:02 -0800

"I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he, in that time, eat a baby." (note the bold.)

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:47:11 -0800

Hey, if any Tories are reading this, try borrowing a leaf from W.C. Field's book. He said, "I like children. When they're properly cooked."

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:48:15 -0800

Nerd I am, I thought the best part of the story was that the signs were reprogrammed with a remote from Costco (or somewhere like that) and the GO authorities have publicly stated that the signs can't be password protected. The baby-eating is just the tip of the iceberg.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:52:05 -0800

GuyZero: I noticed that too. The article I read said something to the effect that this is really easy to do, there are any number of ways to do it, and that authorities were surprised it didn't happen more often (!?).

By: trigonometry

trigonometry — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:53:13 -0800

Well, maybe being honest about it would be an electoral asset, not a liability.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 03 May 2006 12:53:39 -0800

You'd almost think they wanted to open the floodgates.

By: MonkeySaltedNuts

MonkeySaltedNuts — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:01:16 -0800

another sign reprogramming.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:02:59 -0800

It's Canada. Now, if the hacker had claimed "Gordon Lightfoot Eats Babies", there would've been a Mohammed-cartoon-level reaction.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:05:50 -0800

No way, wendell. Lightfoot is such a jerk.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:08:30 -0800

Paul Martin eats hash brownies.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:09:50 -0800

Anne Murray?

By: slogger

slogger — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:11:03 -0800

I thought the Canadian PM was named Poutine?

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:14:12 -0800

Paul Martin eats Anne Murray? Yowza.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:16:53 -0800

The snowbird has landed - on your face.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:18:22 -0800

It certainly wasn't Sheila Copps. She's nobody's baby.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:19:04 -0800

No, Gordon Lightfoot eats Anne Murray... No, Anne Murray eats babies!!! (And all Canadians eat Poutine.)

By: phirleh

phirleh — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:20:46 -0800

Damn, that's my train, I wish I had seen it.

By: Raoul.Duke

Raoul.Duke — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:22:57 -0800

"I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he, in that time, eat a baby." That's right folks, Mr. Harper is a changed man. It's been five years since he last ate a baby, and he promises he will never do it agian.

By: wendell

wendell — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:26:50 -0800

Sorry. I apparently know as little about Canada as the cartoonist who does Medium Large. That confessed, let me just say "William Shatner eats everything!"

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:27:00 -0800

Sun down, you better beward If I find you creeping round my back stair And you're a small child Because I will devour you. The end.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:29:50 -0800

Who doesn't eat babies? They're so delicious!

By: dreamsign

dreamsign — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:33:03 -0800

First, I want to know why this comes up on a search of "harper" and "polygamy". Then let's move on to the baby eating thing.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:45:01 -0800

Is real news becoming more like The Onion? I'm curious even though this wasn't real news, it was a hack, which makes it like The Onion becoming more like The Onion, which, I think is also not true.

By: bbuda

bbuda — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:45:46 -0800

See, I thought the money quote was:

The case of "electronic vandalism" prompted red-faced GO Transit officials to pledge the insults would never happen again. To do so, they will have to power down all the signs on their cars and use special software that is being couriered from the United States to password protect the digital signs, a process that is expected to take three days.

The internet hasn't made it to Canada yet? You guys get software via courier?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:46:55 -0800

A system of vaccum tubes, from what I hear. And I mean hear -- in Minneapolis we can hear the incessant FOOMP of the tubes just north of the border.

By: bonehead

bonehead — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:50:34 -0800

I post by IPoAC, myself.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:57:22 -0800

I like how the captioned picture makes it clear that he does not, in fact, eat babies.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Wed, 03 May 2006 13:58:57 -0800

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:07:42 -0800

we need to put up a fence so those baby eating canadians don't get our children ... especially gordon downey, who can get behind anything

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:16:08 -0800

"The case of 'electronic vandalism' prompted red-faced GO Transit officials to pledge the insults would never happen again." Sounds like a challenge to me.

By: Malor

Malor — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:28:48 -0800

If God didn't mean for people to eat babies, he wouldn't have made them out of meat.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:31:54 -0800

Oh, great. Another one.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:36:20 -0800

especially gordon downey, who can get behind anything I was really hoping that Katrina was going to really break the Hip out in the US. Apparently nothing can get those guys airplay down south. Even after they worked it in like that.

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:43:05 -0800

What a perfect way to try to get under the skin of the humorless, drab sourpuss that is PM Harper.

By: raedyn

raedyn — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:45:15 -0800

I want to know why this comes up on a search of "harper" and "polygamy". - dreamsign I want to know why you were searching for "Harper" and "polygamy". Oh wait. No I don't.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:51:17 -0800

they will have to power down all the signs on their cars and use special software that is being couriered from the United States to password protect the digital signs Insert the following into the above sentence as appropriate: "Diebold" "bwahahahaha"

By: phyrewerx

phyrewerx — Wed, 03 May 2006 14:53:56 -0800

To do so, they will have to power down all the signs on their cars and use special software that is being couriered from the United States to password protect the digital signs, a process that is expected to take three days. I think it comes in a type of rom or maybe they'er talking about a specific flasher. That said, at least we now have a google return for the PM and his dietary habits.

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 03 May 2006 15:03:42 -0800

That said, at least we now have a google return for the PM and his dietary habits. What? Do you not follow the news? There was a few weeks when all anyone talked about was Harper's expanding waistline... apparently babies are the only thing Harper doesn't eat.

By: Zinger

Zinger — Wed, 03 May 2006 16:42:00 -0800

GuyZero wins. Ouch!

By: arto

arto — Wed, 03 May 2006 16:53:01 -0800

Well, at least now we know why he's so fired up over child tax credits. Procreate, my minions! Muahahahaha!

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Wed, 03 May 2006 19:07:42 -0800

That's right folks, Mr. Harper is a changed man. It's been five years since he last ate a baby, and he promises he will never do it agian. Youthful indiscretion?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 03 May 2006 20:48:23 -0800

I chewed a baby, but I didn't lile it, and I didn't swallow.

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Wed, 03 May 2006 23:14:09 -0800

(And all Canadians eat Poutine.) I have never tried poutine. I am a bad Canadian.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Thu, 04 May 2006 05:55:32 -0800

I've tried it and I loathe it, stav. I'm an average Canadian.

By: MonkeySaltedNuts

MonkeySaltedNuts — Thu, 04 May 2006 10:14:28 -0800

stavrosthewonderchicken: I have never tried poutine. I am a bad Canadian. I am a dyslexic American. I eat pitoune.

By: antifreez_

antifreez_ — Mon, 08 May 2006 15:11:18 -0800

Perhaps it's me who's reinforcing the stereotype. I get regular cravings for poutine at least once a month. It's like clockwork. Almost like some sort of Canadian male menopause or something.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Thu, 11 May 2006 10:38:18 -0800

By: antifreez_

antifreez_ — Mon, 15 May 2006 14:47:20 -0800

Harper may have a minority, but that kid has a majority ... OF HARPER'S NOSE!