Old balls

May 3, 2006 2:28 PM

Solved: the case of the disappearing royal member. King Tut's penis was there all along.
posted by ibmcginty (36 comments total)

Mummifiedpenisfilter.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 2:39 PM on May 3, 2006

Same link twice?
posted by b1tr0t at 2:40 PM on May 3, 2006

Penis.
posted by loquacious at 2:41 PM on May 3, 2006

huh huh huh, loquacious said 'penis' huh huh huh..


Seriously though, perhaps his mom used too much makeup? She was Egyptian.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:43 PM on May 3, 2006

/I demand Steve Martin make another song on this.
posted by Smedleyman at 2:44 PM on May 3, 2006

Then what have I been chewing on all this time?
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:45 PM on May 3, 2006

is this something you would need a sarcophagus to understand?
posted by indiebass at 2:49 PM on May 3, 2006

Farnsworth: Now, if you don't mind, I'm rather busy. I seem to have mislaid my alien mummy penis.

Fry: Hey, Professor, great jerky!

Farnsworth: My God, this is an outrage! I was going to eat that mummy penis!
posted by Robot Johnny at 2:49 PM on May 3, 2006

sarcophallus?
posted by ian madbone at 2:52 PM on May 3, 2006

See also...
posted by docpops at 2:53 PM on May 3, 2006

posted by Astro Zombie at 2:55 PM on May 3, 2006

Thank god for the "tutsnuts" tag, otherwise in ten years when I'm looking back on MetaFilter's Golden Years, I'd never be able to find it.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:55 PM on May 3, 2006

"The penis is a highly vascularized organ and shrinks when it is mummified."

Somehow I'd made it this far in life without ever contemplating what a mummified penis would look like. Now that little bit of sanctuary has been taken from me.
posted by Gamblor at 2:59 PM on May 3, 2006

At first look, Burton's pictures may seem to indicate that King Tut could have been a little better endowed. . . "The pharaoh's sex organ is clearly visible in Burton's pictures. All was normal in King Tut. . . There is no comparison with Ötzi's [almost invisible] penis," Egarter told Discovery News. . . According to the mummy expert, it is not possible to see if King Tut was circumcised or not.

Dear fucking god, this definitely seals it, I'm getting cremated.
posted by dgaicun at 3:00 PM on May 3, 2006

And while we're on the subject: Don't tell me you've never wondered what Yoda's penis looks like.
posted by Gamblor at 3:02 PM on May 3, 2006

Same link twice?

ibmcginty was probably afraid of morons complaining about a "one-link post."

Nicely done, and I love the tutsnuts tag!
posted by languagehat at 3:07 PM on May 3, 2006

almost invisible penis is a great band name.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 3:14 PM on May 3, 2006

Hey, my penis was here all along too!

Whew. Case solved.
posted by Astro Zombie at 3:23 PM on May 3, 2006

My penis ran away, citing abuse.

We had the picture placed on milk cartons, but, oddly enough, people stopped buying milk.
posted by dgaicun at 3:34 PM on May 3, 2006

Gamblor, rofl.

Whoda thunk? Apparently there are other stories about similar situations with missing members, including one about Napoleon and an occasional photo.
posted by nickyskye at 3:58 PM on May 3, 2006

Maybe he just got out of the pool?
posted by blue_beetle at 4:04 PM on May 3, 2006

King Tut's penis was there all along."

The embarassing thing is that it required a magnifying glass for scientists to find it.
posted by insomnia_lj at 4:04 PM on May 3, 2006

I found a penis once. It wasn't attached to anyone and it voted for Bush. It was a republican dick.
posted by alteredcarbon at 4:12 PM on May 3, 2006

your mummy has a dick.
posted by jonmc at 4:35 PM on May 3, 2006

Isn't this the wrong time of the year for hallowed weenie stories?
posted by fish tick at 4:45 PM on May 3, 2006

Exactly how much sand was around him to hide the royal family jewels?
posted by annieb at 5:43 PM on May 3, 2006

"Many had resorted to pegs, clamps and even a constant firm grip from concerned family members attempting to prevent the member from vanishing entirely." - From Docpops link, regarding: Koro, the disappearing penis phenomenon.
posted by IronLizard at 9:58 PM on May 3, 2006

I just find it funny that the author of the article was kind enough to give it a filename that starts with "tutpnis."
posted by tittergrrl at 10:25 PM on May 3, 2006

He's no Dillinger.
posted by bardic at 10:58 PM on May 3, 2006

shrinkage?
posted by me & my monkey at 1:33 AM on May 4, 2006

Yes, but was Ankhesenpaaten's clitoris ever found. That is the question.
posted by just a monkey at 1:37 AM on May 4, 2006

Crap! I'd forgotten the balls tag!

Fixed.
posted by ibmcginty at 6:35 AM on May 4, 2006

Nice use of the Tutsnuts tag.
posted by Balisong at 7:32 AM on May 4, 2006

this is why i am probably gonna get cremated. i don't like the idea of my body parts getting lost, especially my twig and berries...
posted by Doorstop at 8:59 AM on May 4, 2006

King Tutankhamun's rediscovered penis could make the pharaoh stand out in the shrunken world of male mummies

So to speak.
posted by pmurray63 at 10:03 AM on May 4, 2006

Perhaps he was doing the ‘hide the penis’ dance from “Silence of the Lambs”
posted by Smedleyman at 4:09 PM on May 5, 2006