Comments on: Don't they use bombs anyway?

Don't they use bombs anyway?

furiousxgeorge — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:43:06 -0800

Al-Zarqawi can't shoot. Lynch said the images he showed indicate that al-Zarqawi "tends to have a problem" with mastering his own weapons system and with finding capable and competent aides. "Why he's their leader, I don't know."

By: keswick

keswick — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:45:18 -0800

that's fascinating.

By: JekPorkins

JekPorkins — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:45:24 -0800

Insert obvious analogy to current U.S. government here.

By: undule

undule — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:49:56 -0800

Well, all things being fair, he doesn't really need to shoot, does he? He has legions of devoted fans for that sort of thing.

By: StrasbourgSecaucus

StrasbourgSecaucus — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:55:28 -0800

Bush can't fly a plane.

By: CRM114

CRM114 — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:56:07 -0800

I'm glad that our new PR strategy against al-Qaeda essentially boils down to "neener neener neener".

By: spazzm

spazzm — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:56:26 -0800

...or string together a coherent sentence.

By: Drexen

Drexen — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:56:54 -0800

Hm. What's more, McClellan can't bullshit convincingly.

By: piscatorius

piscatorius — Thu, 04 May 2006 11:57:12 -0800

May be this has something to do with it. Or not, who can tell anymore?

By: Ryvar

Ryvar — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:01:19 -0800

I'm glad that our new PR strategy against al-Qaeda essentially boils down to "neener neener neener". Given the choice between a good old flamewar and hearing the word 'terrorist' again from the administration, let me be the first to call Al-Zarqawi a doodoohead. Also, it really is genuinely funny he can't use his AK, to paraphrase Ice Cube.

By: brain_drain

brain_drain — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:03:53 -0800

Lynch also highlighted video showing al-Zarqawi hosting a tea party for several stuffed animal friends. An outline of lacy panties was visible through al-Zarqawi's robes.

By: furiousxgeorge

furiousxgeorge — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:08:14 -0800

I just don't understand how pointing out his incompetence is good propaganda for us faced with the fact that we seem totally incapable of capturing or killing him.

By: prostyle

prostyle — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:15:16 -0800

So you're trying to tell me there's a manufactured image of this man being refined and presented to us that is probably not remotely accurate? No fucking way! I just don't understand how pointing out his incompetence is good propaganda for us... Well, from the article they state these excerpts are being displayed by a Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch. I'd posit that the better question is on the flip side of that coin - why would they trim the out-takes and present him as the nefarious menace he supposedly wishes to portray? Winner!

By: CheeseburgerBrown

CheeseburgerBrown — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:20:19 -0800

In contrast, I hear Dick Cheney's aim is bang on.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:21:07 -0800

Well, that's stupid. You don't need to use a gun very well to convince people to go off into battle for you.

By: notyou

notyou — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:22:07 -0800

Yeah, but he's pretty good with a pocket knife.

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:32:44 -0800

"Why he's their leader, I don't know." al-Zarqawi is more of a big picture guy. A vision guy. You know? Sure he can't shoot so well. Sure his other ventures failed miserably. But he is like a regular Joe - you wanna go have hummus with the guy. Not like that stuck up Osama. He is devoutly religious and believs his leadership is a mandate from heaven. And. He sticks to his principles. And that is what's important.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:40:49 -0800

Isn't al-Zarqawis leadership of the insurgency largely an American PR invention to begin with?

By: Squid Voltaire

Squid Voltaire — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:43:55 -0800

It may be that CheeseburgerBrown has won the thread. Not saying that it's so original to make fun of Cheney but... that was pretty funny.

By: rough ashlar

rough ashlar — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:46:05 -0800

Isn't al-Zarqawis leadership of the insurgency largely an American PR invention to begin with? posted by Artw at 12:40 PM PST on May 4 [!] Could be. If so, it would not be the 1st time a government had done such. And I've heard Al's put on weight.

By: Zinger

Zinger — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:53:39 -0800

and with finding capable and competent aides Isn't this sort of de rigueur for evil-doers? Dolts for henchmen? Next thing you'll know we'll find "complete video" footage of him twirling his moustache and saying mwa ha ha ha. Loved the ducks and hunting tags, btw.

By: number9dream

number9dream — Thu, 04 May 2006 12:54:07 -0800

why would they trim the out-takes and present him as the nefarious menace he supposedly wishes to portray? Because it would reflect poorly on the US military if it seemed like the guy they were searching for was a total fuckup, and they still couldn't find him.

By: mazola

mazola — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:05:25 -0800

It is important to choose real fighters as leaders because you never know what you'll need them to do. I seem to remember a particularly brutal affair in the 80s where Reagan and Chernenko were forced to duke it out mano a mano. There was the blood, there was the rubbing of dirt in each other's faces, there was ... Wait, that was Frankie Goes to Hollywood video.

By: ruthsarian

ruthsarian — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:07:21 -0800

For such an incompetent guy he's done remarkably well at evading capture for.. what are we on now.. 3 years?

By: bardic

bardic — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:09:18 -0800

CRM114 gets it. If the terrorists are such weirdo dark-skinned pooftahs, the Bush administration is all the more culpable for 3,000 civilian deaths on 9/11. And for their failure to catch an effete, 7-foot-tall Yemeni hiding in a cave in Pakistan. (And y'know, PsyOps like this might have mattered three years ago. Not so much now.)

By: bardic

bardic — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:10:33 -0800

Artw writes: Isn't al-Zarqawis leadership of the insurgency largely an American PR invention to begin with? You could ask the same question about Al-Queda.

By: prostyle

prostyle — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:17:38 -0800

Because it would reflect poorly on the US military if it seemed like the guy they were searching for was a total fuckup, and they still couldn't find him. Well yes, it was a rhetorical question. The obvious implication being this presentation angle is a positive force in the metrics of fear that quantifies their media campaign - not that they'd look bad otherwise. I'd argue any day that the former scenario is infinitely more disturbing, and much more likely.

By: sfts2

sfts2 — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:25:13 -0800

And I've heard Al's put on weight. Black is such a slimming color.

By: Kwantsar

Kwantsar — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:44:18 -0800

Also, it really is genuinely funny he can't use his AK, to paraphrase Ice Cube. I gotta say it was a good day.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:44:27 -0800

Hold on. He has two legs now?

By: a3matrix

a3matrix — Thu, 04 May 2006 13:46:53 -0800

"neener neener neener" . . . .

By: moonbiter

moonbiter — Thu, 04 May 2006 14:35:01 -0800

At CENTCOM headquarters ... GENERAL: Men, we've got to get this Al-Zackary guy. It's been going on 3 years, and he's still making videos! INTEL OFFICER: Sir, we just don't can't get to him. Our native assets are for sh*t, and we just don't have enough folks who speak this crazy moon-talk they use here to make a difference. PSYOP OFFICER: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's plant a story on CNN insulting his gunmanship. Maybe it will make him so mad he will make a mistake and show himself. GENERAL: Hmm, at least that's something! Make it so!

By: dobie

dobie — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:08:46 -0800

Maybe he's not the leader. Maybe he just signed up to be a martyr.

By: 2sheets

2sheets — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:10:57 -0800

"He has two legs now?" He was in fact born with 3 legs, so the leg amputation story was true, Mr. Smarty pants.

By: elr

elr — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:23:34 -0800

you don't bring a gun to a dirty-bomb fight you're just askin to get your ass kicked

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:43:03 -0800

I'm not sure that a dirty bomb is all that much of a threat in an area already thoroughly contaminated by depleted uranium.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 04 May 2006 15:58:42 -0800

a wise leader doesn't shoot off his own gun at the enemy ... or women named monica

By: jackspace

jackspace — Thu, 04 May 2006 16:20:13 -0800

Funny how the Defense Department has to have an officer of the military spend time making juvenile cuts on Zarqawi instead of asking the real questions such as: "How did he get all those American weapons and ammunition?" The weapon Zarqawi is (mis)firing is an M249 Squad Automatic Weapon. It was made in Belgium after being rejected by American companies. I carried one for two years in the army and I also will admit I laughed when I saw it misfire for him. The M249 us a pretty well-designed weapon and doesn't jam nearly as much as the M16, nor the M60. Well so I wonder how much air time this will take up versus Bush's gaffes.

By: c13

c13 — Thu, 04 May 2006 16:29:56 -0800

So, one guy can't shoot straight, and the other one is hooked up to a dialysis machine. And we have the most expensive, best trained and equipped army in the world. And that army cannot find those two guys for 4 years now. Gee, I'm so proud.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 04 May 2006 16:29:59 -0800

The Minime is used by the armed forces of many countries, so it's not necessarily a certainty that the one used was American.... unless it's a distinct variant? Very interesting point though.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 04 May 2006 16:30:43 -0800

Minime = Minini

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 04 May 2006 18:08:38 -0800

I'm not sure that a dirty bomb is all that much of a threat in an area already thoroughly contaminated by depleted uranium. You're not sure because you're not correct.

By: furtive

furtive — Thu, 04 May 2006 18:42:13 -0800

I once saw the Deputy Commanding Officer of an armoured regiment take a shit in the woods and get most of it in his crew suit. It ain't dexterity that makes you a great leader.

By: rdone

rdone — Thu, 04 May 2006 18:54:06 -0800

Quoth CNN: Al-Zarqawi is seen walking toward a white pickup truck in "New Balance tennis shoes" What' s up with the "tennis shoes" angle? Why does this have a Woody Allen feel to it? Emmanuel Goldstein meets Bananas? God forbid that this should all be a Rendon-Lincoln production.

By: notyou

notyou — Thu, 04 May 2006 18:55:18 -0800

"You, Private, ahm ...Furtive?... get over here and wipe this shit off my goddamned crew suit." That's what makes a great leader.

By: mikojava

mikojava — Thu, 04 May 2006 19:40:33 -0800

Big agreement, Cheeseburgerbrown for the WIN!

By: homunculus

homunculus — Thu, 04 May 2006 20:06:02 -0800

The Iraqi soldiers aren't looking much better.

By: homunculus

homunculus — Thu, 04 May 2006 20:10:45 -0800

Maybe the reason we didn't kill Zarqawi when we had the chance was because we just felt sorry for him.

By: soyjoy

soyjoy — Thu, 04 May 2006 20:47:44 -0800

I can't believe they're focusing on the gunmanship angle and missing this more embarrassing outtake of Zarquawi from later in the video.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Fri, 05 May 2006 03:33:11 -0800

This whole AK-whatever-fashion-accessory-and-phallic-symbol meme gets a big meh from me. Zarqawi's just trying to fit in with his homies, but he's no less of an untrained redneck idiot about weapons than the next third-worlder. I bet he couldn't strip and clean the damn thing if the Prophet himself, peace be upon him, told him to.

By: darkstar

darkstar — Fri, 05 May 2006 06:07:45 -0800

"Why he's their leader, I don't know." And that is why you fail. But hey, our President keeps falling off of things - bikes, Segways, the moral high ground - but he's still OUR Dear Leader. And as for hilariously incompetent weapons-related bloopers, it's really hard to beat accidentally shooting your pal in the face. So, Mr. Military Genius, when you get around to figuring out why Zarqawi has his minions, then maybe you could help us understand why Bush-Cheney still have millions of adoring enablers.

By: mazola

mazola — Fri, 05 May 2006 09:51:17 -0800

Ha ha! Our staged photo-ops are better than your staged photo-ops!

By: RubberHen

RubberHen — Fri, 05 May 2006 22:06:36 -0800

His lackeys look like caddies on some abysmal parched golf course... Maybe he should try clubs in Qatar?

By: rougy

rougy — Sat, 06 May 2006 07:54:05 -0800

"Why he's their leader, I don't know.... It's because he's their photo-op. He's their photo-op come to save the day.