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Throw off your chains of shaving oppression.
May 9, 2006 6:53 AM   Subscribe

The shaving conspiracy.
The author suggests that shaving cream is a conspiracy. If you're not ready to throw away the shaving cream, then you can always opt for the traditional badger brush and safety razor. via Joey deVilla
posted by mecran01 (123 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
I actually prefer Edge Shave Gel and a Mach III knockoff from the drug store. The stuff looks like toothpaste, but leaves me oh so baby smooth that I'm downright slippery. Sergei Federov is practicing his slapshot on my upper lip as I type.
posted by jonmc at 6:57 AM on May 9, 2006


I've been using a brush and some variation on a Mach III for a long time (the M3Power vibrations are surprisingly helpful).

The great secret of shaving soap is that while it costs about $20-$30 for a block, I'm only now about halfway through my third in the past 7 years.
posted by Caviar at 7:01 AM on May 9, 2006


Well, no shit. I use soap or, if I want to feel pretty, some super-slippery facewash stuff that my wife gets from Trader Joes. But don't get that in your eye.

Either way, it makes no difference. All shaving cream does is leave a rust ring in your shower. (Yeah, I shave in the shower. What are you going to do about it?)
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:01 AM on May 9, 2006


I just use soap twice a week to clean up my neck. Other than that I just use clippers to keep my face at a "scruff."
posted by sourwookie at 7:02 AM on May 9, 2006


(Yeah, I shave in the shower. What are you going to do about it?)

*pours Liquid Plumber down the Mayor's drain*

That'll be $20, please.
posted by jonmc at 7:06 AM on May 9, 2006


Well, no shit.

Uh, actually, I don't think this is common knowledge, given the millions people spend on shaving cream each year.
posted by mecran01 at 7:06 AM on May 9, 2006


(actually with my impending unemployment, I've decided to forgo haircuts for the duration, and once I'm unemployed, shaving too, get back to my circa 1996 shaggy self)
posted by jonmc at 7:08 AM on May 9, 2006


Maybe I'm just a freak but I've used shaving cream for 15 years, and never once had a problem with my skin turning to mush, sensitivity to temperature changes, or anything like that.

Or maybe I'm just beholden to the shaving cream lobby.
posted by pdb at 7:10 AM on May 9, 2006


The author suggests that shaving cream is a conspiracy.

I thought everything in the news was a conspiracy.

(Yeah, I shave in the shower. What are you going to do about it?)

Not watch, that's for sure.
posted by LeLiLo at 7:10 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


"There are many thing that are true – the state is a parasite on society, private property would solve most social problems, rock music is tedious and stupid – but are nonetheless not generally known or applied. The truth that shaving cream is a racket should be added to this."

Shine on you crazy consumer rebel!
posted by OmieWise at 7:10 AM on May 9, 2006


I read one of these articles last year and switched to a brush and cream in a squeezy tube, but decided double sided safety razors were too expensive (the holders) and hard to come by. I like schick double blade disposables - cheap and works great.

The thing to remember is shave only after a hot shower. You can use regular cream and a regular razor then and it'll still work better. But nothing beats loading up a brush with hot water and cream and slapping yourself silly with it.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:11 AM on May 9, 2006


i stopped using shaving cream or soap about 15 years ago. i use one of the mid-range gillettes (sensor?) and hot water, then wash down with cold water afterwards. it works. you get used to it.
posted by mrgrimm at 7:13 AM on May 9, 2006


Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
posted by caddis at 7:13 AM on May 9, 2006


The guy has obviously never tried Proraso.

...This legendary range of shaving products from Florence has served more than three generations of Italian males since the 1940s. Throughout this period, the high quality, based on a secret Eucalyptus Oil formula has remained unblemished and remains the top selling shaving brand in Italy. ...

Babyoil, rrrrright
posted by beno at 7:13 AM on May 9, 2006


i use one of the mid-range gillettes (sensor?) and hot water, then wash down with cold water afterwards. it works. you get used to it.

Besides, chicks dig scars.
posted by jonmc at 7:15 AM on May 9, 2006


But if I shave my legs without shaving cream (or at least a gel soap that doesn't dissolve too quickly), I nick myself like crazy! What's the magic solution for shaving legs?
posted by Karmakaze at 7:15 AM on May 9, 2006


It ain't a real shave unless I'm bleeding and writhing on the floor in pain after slapping on some 120 proof after shave. What a pussy.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:16 AM on May 9, 2006


slapping on some 120 proof after shave.

pass that over here man.

*guzzles*
posted by jonmc at 7:16 AM on May 9, 2006


I remember when Internet cranks got worked up about grandiose problems, like the CIA implanting chips in their brains. Now they've been reduced to bitching about the shaving-cream conspiracy? Pathetic. Clearly they've become the unwitting dupes of the Rosicrucians/Zionists/Trilateralists.
posted by adamrice at 7:17 AM on May 9, 2006


(Yeah, I shave in the shower. What are you going to do about it?)

My wife and I both do. I've never understood what seems so strange about it to other people. We just don't keep supplies in the shower with us.

I only shave once a month for the army, and she does about every two weeks. We both use a standard, ancient style safety-razor and it works beautifully.

On drill, I use an old style barber's straight-razor (easier to deal with in the field), and I even have the little leather strap. I take along a bottle of baby oil to help since my face probably has caked-on dirt.
posted by mystyk at 7:17 AM on May 9, 2006


I just splash a little whisky on my face and shave using a shiv my Mom got in Folsom.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:19 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


I've been subscribing to Lew Rockwell's newsletter for about a year now, don't ask me why, and althought always thought they were "out there" a little, it wasn't until I read this gem a couple of weeks ago that I had proof positive that "libertarians" are, well, a little nutty.
posted by jsavimbi at 7:20 AM on May 9, 2006


I shave in the shower, and don't use shaving cream. I might wipe some of the shampoo in my hair onto my face before I shave, but usually it's just hot running water. I have no mirror in the shower, and couldn't see it anyway if I did. I have never cut myself shaving like this, nor have I had to unclug the drain.

Shaving cream is for suckers.
posted by solid-one-love at 7:21 AM on May 9, 2006


The thing to remember is shave only after a hot shower. You can use regular cream and a regular razor then and it'll still work better. But nothing beats loading up a brush with hot water and cream and slapping yourself silly with it.

But what if you don't have hot showers available? The answer is cold water and no shaving cream/soap. It's an old military trick to shave with cold water in the field, but it seems to be largely forgotten by the time we got to Vietnam. I use baby oil (as I noted above) because of the grime that can develop on a face when in the field, but nothing else. It works so well that I try to teach it to others, but as usual they are completely skeptical.
posted by mystyk at 7:23 AM on May 9, 2006


I've gone retro--safety razor, soap in a cup, a badger brush, all that (in the shower). It took some practice to learn the right technique, but it's the best I've found.

My wife paid for me to have a hot lather shave at a fancy-schmancy place here (they serve espresso!), and I got talked into using a shaving oil. Works great, but it clogs up the razor something terrible.
posted by MrMoonPie at 7:23 AM on May 9, 2006


a) I use girl shaving cream and have none of the problems that he describes, except when I actually cut myself with the razor by accident.

b)"There are many thing that are true – the state is a parasite on society, private property would solve most social problems, rock music is tedious and stupid – but are nonetheless not generally known or applied. The truth that shaving cream is a racket should be added to this."

Ok, done with this guy. Next!
posted by illovich at 7:25 AM on May 9, 2006


I switched to a safety razor and badger hair brush about a year ago. I will NEVER go back. Takes a minute or two more to lather up, but it's actually enjoyable.

The whole "more blades is better" thing is freaking creepy. Gillette has a 5-blader now. I mean, do you have any face left after that? Do people that shave with that thing use topical steroids as after shave, to regrow 5 layers of skin every day?
posted by zekinskia at 7:26 AM on May 9, 2006


Double, sort of...
posted by docpops at 7:32 AM on May 9, 2006


In sum: everyone does what he feels works best for him. Good. No word on electrics? In passing: 1. showers are for whacking off and if you use a razor too you might endanger your private parts. 2. barbers seldom these days will shave customers because it takes too long for too little money (claim) and they are afraid of AIDS.
posted by Postroad at 7:33 AM on May 9, 2006


I kept waiting for the science behind the accusation..
Personally, I realized not long ago that if you shave right after a nice hot shower (I need the mirror), all you need is a blade.
The hot water is the trick.
posted by hypersloth at 7:34 AM on May 9, 2006


Shaving cream conspiracy? What about the shaving conspiracy? Millions of dollars spent and millions of man-hours wasted scraping away the hair that nature (or God, if you prefer) tells us is supposed to be there! Rockwell is a tool.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:36 AM on May 9, 2006


I just use soap on my face in the shower.

Why bother spending money on cream?
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 7:37 AM on May 9, 2006


I use baby oil (as I noted above) because of the grime that can develop on a face when in the field, but nothing else.

you use oil made from babies?!?!?
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 7:39 AM on May 9, 2006


If using shaving cream is wrong, I don't want to be right.
posted by mkultra at 7:40 AM on May 9, 2006


Standard-issue shaving cream (or worse - gel) is a waste, not a conspiracy. When I used it, it never melted my face off, or clogged up my pores, or whatever. I just used way too much of it when shaving, and it didn't protect my face all that well. And you wash most of it down the drain, off your hands, without even using it.

The best shaves for me have been when using shave soap from a cake, a good badger brush, and plenty of warm water. Hot water is even better, but I don't have the time. Once, when the hot water heater at our house was busted, I actually heated water in the kettle and poured it into the shave mug... wow. Amazing.

I used to use a double-sided safety razor, but these days I've been using a Mach3. Works pretty well, even though I chafe every time I have to buy blades. Ridiculously expensive, but they've been better since they moved on to 12-blade razors or whatever.

Great supplies at Caswell Massey; Good shave porn at Shaveblog
posted by dammitjim at 7:41 AM on May 9, 2006


Shaaaaving Cream, Be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen...
posted by jonmc at 7:42 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


I went to a high school that required male students to be clean-shaven. If you showed up to school with a beard, you got sent to the principal's office. The principal would open a desk drawer and remove an old, dirty, clearly-usedrazor blade. He would give it to the offending student and tell him to shave immediately. The student was left to figure out how to do this without the benefit of shaving cream etc. Needless to say, there were a lot of nicks. But people generally didn't show up with a beard.

Yeah, it was pretty messed up.
posted by brain_drain at 7:42 AM on May 9, 2006


I just use soap twice a week to clean up my neck. Other than that I just use clippers to keep my face at a "scruff."
posted by sourwookie at 7:02 AM PST on May 9 [!]



You wouldn't happen to have a "Miami device", would you? This, reputedly, was an electric razor sold in the 80s configured to leave just the perfect amount of scruff to complement a pastel blazer. Haven't been able to find one on eBay, though.
posted by bumpkin at 7:44 AM on May 9, 2006


Shaaaaving Cream, Be nice and clean, shave every day and you'll always look keen...

People hate when I whip that song out at karaoke.
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:45 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


different strokes for different folks.
posted by 3.2.3 at 7:46 AM on May 9, 2006


caddis, I have exact same shaver.

I also have a Mach3 and I don't use cream. I just splash hot water on my face till I feel it's soft.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 7:46 AM on May 9, 2006


LMAO @ some of these replies.

I use good ol' conditioner (like for your hair) to shave my legs. Leaves me nice & smooth AND moisturized. Not sure how well it would work on a guys face, but it works great for us gals. Plus, it's cheaper and doesn't clog the razor.
posted by AmyMay at 7:49 AM on May 9, 2006


The real deal about shaving.
posted by TedW at 7:53 AM on May 9, 2006



*pours Liquid Plumber down the Mayor's drain*

That'll be $20, please.


Off topic, slightly...

I always thought drain cleaner was a brilliant advertizing gimick.
OK, so you get a stopped up drain (from too much shaving?), and, if you don't already have a stash of the stuff, you make a special trip to the store, spend $12-16 on the "good stuff" because the bottle tells you not to expect anything to happen with the regular stuff, then you rush home, and.... Pour it down the drain! It even says on the bottle, that if you don't get the desired results, pour another bottle down the drain, and WAIT!

Awesome.

THe only product with a better gimick is Baking Soda.
What do you use that stuff for? Everything!
Put it in your dishwasher crystals, or your laundry soap, there's some in your tooth paste, jewelry cleaner and car wax. Open a fresh box and just place it in the fridge! You'll need another one for the freezer. Be sure to add plenty to your cat litter box and, if all fails, sprinkle it generously all over your carpet and then vaccum it up!
Isn't baking soda a byproduct of something else? Who ever thought up all these uses is a marketing genius!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go throw a bunch down all my drainsright now to follow all the liquid plumber.
posted by Balisong at 7:53 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


I just shave in the shower using the aloe soap I wash my pits and bits with. .

Done it all my life. . .I can't take the scents they put in those fancy products, and the thought of getting any of that in my mouth grosses me out.
posted by Danf at 7:55 AM on May 9, 2006


Can we move on now to the great aluminum conspiracy?
posted by caddis at 7:55 AM on May 9, 2006


I use baking soda. I use vinegar. You can pry them from my cold, dead...children's volcano science project.

I *did* nick myself more when I used shaving cream vs. just hot water.
posted by notsnot at 7:59 AM on May 9, 2006


The real solution is to stop shaving every day. I shave at most two days a week, usually just once, and occasionally wait until my face starts to itch. When people get used to seeing you with stubble, a clean shave really impresses them. Just ask my wife.
posted by pmbuko at 8:08 AM on May 9, 2006


I shaved only with warm water and cheap no-brand disposable razors for years (it's how I was taught, what can I say). Then this year I finally broke down and bought some shaving cream and a nice-ish (Mach 3) razor. I'm never going back - even if the shave might not be quite as close (and I'm not sure about that either) it's so much... smoother feeling to shave with a better razor and some sort of shaving cream option.
posted by OverlappingElvis at 8:26 AM on May 9, 2006


Mach3s are for suckers. I use an old fashioned double edged safety razor. Refils? $0.50 (US)

Also, Proraso is good, but Taylor of Old Bond is heavenly.
posted by keswick at 8:29 AM on May 9, 2006


I think soap is a racket, personally. At least in the quantities people smear on themselves. *shiver*. Shampoo, too, actually.
posted by dobbs at 8:32 AM on May 9, 2006


His cheek
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:33 AM on May 9, 2006


Was rough
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:33 AM on May 9, 2006


His chick vamoosed
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:34 AM on May 9, 2006


And now she won't
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:34 AM on May 9, 2006


Come home to roost
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:34 AM on May 9, 2006


Burma-Shave
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:35 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


I use bacon grease and a wolverine hair brush.
posted by DieHipsterDie at 8:36 AM on May 9, 2006


and if possible, a machete.
posted by jonmc at 8:37 AM on May 9, 2006


I always shave in the shower with no soap. It took a little getting used to because I don't use a mirror, but I know the contours of my face a lot better now, which means I'm less prone to nicking myself by shaving in the wrong direction. Also, I find that if I wait a day or two between shaves, I get better results. If I shave two days in a row the second day usually leaves me a bit burned because the hairs just aren't very long, so I wind up scaping more than usual.
posted by ddf at 8:38 AM on May 9, 2006


This might work for the peach-fuzzed, but if like me you have enraged-porcupine bristles, then some kind of foam, gel or cream is pretty handy.

The point of the gunk isn't to tenderize the skin, it's to hold the bristles in place so that the razor can slice through them effectively.

That said, I've occasionally shaved with just water when I've run out, and while it's harsher it's not unbearably bad.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 8:39 AM on May 9, 2006


I just shaved in the shower with a cheap disposable, with the shower running on my face while I scraped off the stubble. Worked great, no red bumps on the neck or discomfort.

The problem with an electric is they don't do well with three-day growth.

also, I think the "conspiracy" reference in the original essay was satire.
posted by mecran01 at 8:39 AM on May 9, 2006


I've never seen so much pointless verbal masturbation in my life.

That said, I shave my balls with an old burr grinder.
posted by docpops at 8:40 AM on May 9, 2006 [2 favorites]


I use a product from L'Occitane called Cade...that plus shaving in the shower has changed my skins life. I use to nick and bleed and all the time...had dry skin...no more! A bit expensive..about $30 for a tube that lasts a month or two depending how much you use. I have searched high and low for various products throughout the years and this is the first one that works.
posted by UMDirector at 8:42 AM on May 9, 2006


Love my badger brush and yeah, the soap lasts forever(Especially when you shave as infrequently as I do.).

I can also dry shave without any nasty rashing or pain, but I eat rocks and former Spetsnaz operatives for breakfast, so YMMV.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:46 AM on May 9, 2006


My mom won't let me get a straight razor though.
She also insists on helping me with my safety scissors and construction paper.

posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:48 AM on May 9, 2006


I'm working on going very "old school".

The fiancee bought me a straight edge, strop, shaving soap and a badger brush. Now as soon as I no longer fear slitting my own throat, I'll be replacing the Mach3 and those ridiculously expensive replacement blades.
posted by JaredSeth at 8:49 AM on May 9, 2006


You favorite shaving technique sux!!!!11!!!
posted by ozomatli at 8:50 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


Shaving without cream is barbarism. But then again, I have a beard (mostly because I have my 5 o'clock shadow coming in at 11 am).
posted by klangklangston at 8:51 AM on May 9, 2006


you use oil made from babies?!?!?

I gather it'd be a baby-removing oil.
posted by hangashore at 8:52 AM on May 9, 2006


I use a disposable razor to shave. I also trim my toenails from left to right and wipe my ass with Charmin. For more valuable information, my email address is in my profile.
posted by horsewithnoname at 8:53 AM on May 9, 2006


I use to nick and bleed and all the time...had dry skin...no more!

*Cut to UMDirector holding a rusty single edge razor, shaving against the grain, and bleeding profusely. UMDirector looks into camera with pain and desperate frustration.*

I have searched high and low for various products throughout the years and this is the first one that works.

*Cut to UMDirector's cheeks shining like a baby's ass. UMDirector smiles, points to product, and nods approvingly.*

Operators are standing by.
posted by three blind mice at 8:55 AM on May 9, 2006


In fact, it is not our protector. Shaving cream is destroying your skin, turning it into a whining, pathetic, dependent, beaten, insipid layer of pasty pulp. Your skin has become the fatted calf that has been killed, the lamb slain on the altar, the virgin sacrificed in some ancient cannibalistic ritual of an uncivilized people.

God, I love hyperbole! Forget the shaving cream--what kind and how much caffeine has this guy been imbibing???
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:57 AM on May 9, 2006


But if I shave my legs without shaving cream (or at least a gel soap that doesn't dissolve too quickly), I nick myself like crazy! What's the magic solution for shaving legs?

I don't use soap or shaving cream on my legs when I shave, and I don't have any trouble. I think it's because MeFi has forced me to develop a thick skin.
posted by amro at 9:09 AM on May 9, 2006


I'm not ashamed to say that the ladies' Venus shaver is the one I like the best. (regular - haven't tried the Vibrance yet). This would not work for getting close under your nose, but I've got a mustache so that is not a problem.

I do like and use brush/soap. Cream in a can seems like a massive nonsensical technological step backwards, sort of like "cheese" in aerosol.

A more interesting question might be the (various) appeals of shaving in the first place. It is part ritual, part hygeine, part individualistic style (if you are selective in what you shave). Mostly rooted in a fear of what the opposite sex is suspected to find unappealing, I suspect.
posted by spock at 9:10 AM on May 9, 2006


At the risk of having you all gather around me, beat me to the ground, and kick me bloody-- why do we shave in the first place? Isn't it an act of trans(dis)vestism?
posted by jamjam at 9:16 AM on May 9, 2006


Oops, sorry Spock, I should have Previewed more thoroughly.
posted by jamjam at 9:21 AM on May 9, 2006


Do you think it matters what kind of badger you use? I don't have easy access to an English badger, but I'm sure I could find an American badger.

In fact, I might just go and roll my own badger brush. I'll only use the neck hairs. Hell, I'll just get a pet badger, then I won't have to worry about the hairs falling out or how to dry it - I'll let the badger take care of that part.

Yes folks, there's nothing quite like the feel of the shave you get with a wet, soapy badger rolled across your cheek. People will need sunglasses to stop from being blinded when they look at your face.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:21 AM on May 9, 2006


you use oil made from babies?!?!?

Olive oil, corn oil, vegetable oil, baby oil...you figure it out.
posted by briank at 9:22 AM on May 9, 2006


My wife and I both do. I've never understood what seems so strange about it to other people. We just don't keep supplies in the shower with us.

I shave in the shower as well, in fact I don't normally need to use anything to lube my face up as long as the blades are fresh, but they wear out so damn fast... I don't think soap would make much of a diffrence if I had a dull blade anyway.
posted by delmoi at 9:28 AM on May 9, 2006


Is this an askme shaving preference survey?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:30 AM on May 9, 2006


Olive oil, corn oil, vegetable oil, baby oil...

Motor oil, engine oil, hair oil, baby oil...

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 9:37 AM on May 9, 2006 [2 favorites]


Joseph Gurl -

No, it's a reason to click TedW's link above to one of the funniest comments ever to grace Metafilter.
posted by graymouser at 9:37 AM on May 9, 2006


"...what kind and how much caffeine has this guy been imbibing???"

He's "editorial vice-president of mises.org". You expect him to be sane?
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 9:37 AM on May 9, 2006


I hate shaving, but unfortunately I'm one of those hairy mutant dudes. You know, the kind that shaves at 8am, and gets a "4-'o-clock shadow" by the time lunch break rolls around.

I'll stick to my cheapo Mach 3 rip-off (thank you Rexall), and whatever shaving gel happens to be cheapest. I'm not discriminating; as long as my face doesn't smell like I stuff my pillow with potpourri, I'm satisfied.
posted by Dark Messiah at 9:40 AM on May 9, 2006


I'm a Duct Tape and Bactine man, myself.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:49 AM on May 9, 2006 [1 favorite]


There are many attempts to avoid them along the way. People try aftershave, more and more and more of it. Pretty soon, they are tossing handfuls of the stuff on their skin, putting alcohol all over tenderized and sliced up skin. Then they become attached to that too. But it is not enough.

From today's Harper's weekly index:
In Hungary construction workers renovating a
house discovered, and drank, a barrel of rum; when the
barrel was empty they found that it contained a pickled
human corpse.


Hmmm.. I wonder if there is a connection...
posted by c13 at 9:51 AM on May 9, 2006


This thread is truly The Best of The Web. No, truly. I've been laughing all morning as this thread grows. I just luv youse guys (and gals)... *noogies*
posted by twsf at 9:51 AM on May 9, 2006


Graymouser -

Yeah, I remember that. It was funny.
posted by Joseph Gurl at 9:52 AM on May 9, 2006


Meanwhile, I would forego shaving entirely if I could actually grow a respectable beard.
posted by ddf at 9:54 AM on May 9, 2006


Meanwhile, I would forego shaving entirely if I could actually grow a respectable beard

I thought that once, then she said "you're chaffing my inner thigh". Now I keep a standard Super Villain Goatee, as I have dubbed it.
posted by Dark Messiah at 10:02 AM on May 9, 2006


Meanwhile, I would forego shaving entirely if I could actually grow a respectable beard.

Is your current beard somehow disrespectable? Does it hang out in the seedy part of town with women of ill repute? Maybe it has a lisp and no idea of how to behave in polite society? Perhaps it committed a crime in its youth and now must live with the consequences?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:03 AM on May 9, 2006


Robocop should have used shaving cream.
posted by c13 at 10:05 AM on May 9, 2006


Well, cream and a belt sander.

I'll buy that for a dollar!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:12 AM on May 9, 2006


mystyk wrote: But what if you don't have hot showers available? The answer is cold water and no shaving cream/soap. It's an old military trick to shave with cold water in the field

If you need warm liquid, you could always ask one of your army buddies to pee on your face.
posted by jefbla at 10:18 AM on May 9, 2006


Crazy.... I just shaved without shaving cream for the first time in my life (I'm twenty). Perfect shave; no nicks. :-)
posted by arrhn at 10:33 AM on May 9, 2006


I just took a hot shower then shaved sans cream with my Mach 3. Fabulous, I say! Fabulous!
posted by slogger at 10:40 AM on May 9, 2006


I use 20-grit sandpaper and straight lemon juice to "freshen up" with afterwards.

but then I've always been a bit of a pansy.
posted by Parannoyed at 10:42 AM on May 9, 2006


King of Shaves
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:43 AM on May 9, 2006


Sergei Federov is practicing his slapshot on my upper lip as I type.

Boy, that sounds so... DIRTY!
posted by papakwanz at 10:48 AM on May 9, 2006


Rzzzzzz!
posted by Ogre Lawless at 10:55 AM on May 9, 2006


*cranks up Stealer’s Wheel*

You ever listen to K-Billy’s super sounds of the 70s?
posted by Smedleyman at 10:58 AM on May 9, 2006


why do we shave in the first place?

The Romans.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 10:59 AM on May 9, 2006


The the girl who wanted to know the secret of shaving her legs:

Unscented hair conditioner, a decent (I use a venus) razor, and shave in the shower. No nicks, ever, and you don't need moisturiser afterwards.

I've converted a couple of guys to this method on their face as well, and yes, it DOES clog the razor, but a burst of hot water cures that.

I'm converting the SO to shaving soap and brush, maybe as soon as next week. I never believed in shaving cream anyway...
posted by Sallysings at 11:01 AM on May 9, 2006


why do we shave in the first place?

> The Romans.

Well, that's the simple answer. Various people throughout history have maintained different viewpoints for and against shaving. The Egyptians had a real aversion to body hair.
posted by spock at 11:20 AM on May 9, 2006


My stubble jams electric razors. I use a safety razor once a week. Best shave I've ever had. This site has tons of safety and straight razor supplies as well as soap, brushes, and holders.
posted by p8r1ck at 11:20 AM on May 9, 2006


Argh, that guy with the MSNBC article again. Alright, I'll admit that the wet shave (brush and mug) is better than cream or gel from a can. But as far as those old school Double Edge razors being universally superior to all contemporary razors - he's so full of shit. That guy is all hype. His blog is like mid-90's Wired magazine if the dot com boom had only been about mens grooming.

I use the disposable Shick Mach-3 knockoff. It is the best razor I have ever used. For me, it beats electrics, it beats the Gilette, it beats the really awesome looking DE Gilette from the 50's.

Oh, and for those of you that get clogged up razors while shaving. Tap the razor on a surface. Like make the shaving motion, but have the razor handle that is just below the razor hit the edge of the sink. The hairs all dump out that way.
posted by redteam at 11:26 AM on May 9, 2006


redteam: you're wrong. DE razors are superior to everything.
posted by keswick at 11:53 AM on May 9, 2006


From TedW's earlier link:
Get slick | MetaFilter: "A badger hair brush is all right, for the pikers and fifteen year olds who are cultivating that 'did I just have some chocolate milk or is it a mustache look', real men rip the head off the badger (preferably Mauritanian NOT the ones from Brussels, which are actually a kind of non-swimming water rat, think Nutria but unable to swim or even float) and lather that up with some Vendigliani Otrusco, which is a Sicilian emollientie di priapari (lit. boner cream). By all means use an English lavender scented creme if all you are going to do is spend the rest of the day comparing man purses down at the emo-record shop, but if you are trying to emulate the real leading male lights of the century you are going to need at least the Vendigliani, the scent of which Graham Greene once noted '... most resembles that of toasted almonds, with perhaps just a tint, a mere suggestion, of stale urine.'

Finally using a blade at all smacks of Oscar Wilde on poppers levels of limp-wristedness (you might as well try to have some kind of man-baby and spend the rest of your life baking orange zest muffins). Real men, true men, (like Kaiser Wilheim, the last actual MALE man who ever lived) merely lather up and then, elbows clasped tightly to the sides, perhaps two inches above the kidneys, sprint at top speed towards a coral reef at low tide and with a last light (but masculine) leap, scrape off 1/18th of their face, per side, per day. If no coral is available it is best to grow a beard, as attempting the same thing on pumice or god help us, volcanic rock is akin to living ones' life as a Spaniard. posted by Divine_Wino at 10:54 AM PST on April 4"

posted by mecran01 at 12:10 PM on May 9, 2006


i've never used anything but an electric razor
posted by pyramid termite at 12:18 PM on May 9, 2006


i've had the same razor for 15 years. it's a double-blade razor. i've tried the triple-blade razors and have not noticed an improvement, so i've never made the switch.
posted by xmattxfx at 12:32 PM on May 9, 2006


For some, daily shaving has downsides. If you're one of these men, you know it, and your choice is basically either to try shaving powder, or grow a beard.
posted by paulsc at 12:52 PM on May 9, 2006


you use oil made from babies?!?!?

I don't expect pussies like you to ever admit it, but there's nothing as nice as the feel of shaving with genuine cold-pressed Irish baby oil. I know activists like to play this as a "cruelty" issue, but if you're so concerned with the welfare of these children, why don't you work to give their families a decent living, so they don't need to sell babies? Why don't you seem to care about getting them a decent education, or about what happens to them once they grow up? Why do you think it's so much "kinder" to let them wallow in near starvation and papist ignorance?

The fact is, this is class warfare pure and simple. There's a worldwide demand for maybe three or four hundred babies a year--virtually nothing compared to the deaths caused by malnutrition, poor sanitation, and, yes, real abuse--and the baby oil industry's standards for humane treatment are far higher than virtually any other kind of farming. But because they can appeal to people's base instincts of envy for those who can afford to treat their faces right, politicians and activists make a big show of fighting baby oil, rather than offering real solutions to the real problems of poverty and abuse.

Look, if you, personally, choose not to use baby oil, I can respect that. I have a number of vegetarian friends, and I'm always prepared to accomodate them at dinner parties. But when the government interferes in our lives so far as to tell us how we're allowed to shave, I think we have to be worried about what it will do next. I think it harms all of us.
posted by moss at 1:28 PM on May 9, 2006 [6 favorites]


Well I thought it was the Romans.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 2:14 PM on May 9, 2006


It's an old military trick to shave with cold water in the field, but it seems to be largely forgotten by the time we got to Vietnam.

Not by everyone. I know a Special Forces alum who started shaving his entire head this way in Vietnam and still does, using throwaway plastic razors.
posted by beagle at 2:48 PM on May 9, 2006


Shaving quality aside, I can't help but wonder what's in shaving cream.

A quick Google brought this up:

"Many manufacturers would have us believe that the recipes for shaving cream are carefully guarded secrets. However, the secrecy revolves mostly around the quantities in which standard ingredients are used, and the choice of substitutes for the few ingredients that are variable. By law, ingredients are listed right on the container, except for perfumes. Actual recipes are easily found in industrial chemistry textbooks available at many libraries. A standard recipe contains approximately 8.2 percent stearic acid, 3.7 percent triethanolamine,. 5 percent lanolin, 2 percent glycerin, 6 percent polyoxyethylene sorbitan monostearate, and 79.6 percent water."

(source)

The skin is just a big sponge, and there are jillions of men lathering themselves with this stuff and scraping it off their face with a blade every single day. Isn't anyone worried?

Me: I'm female. And I use regular soap when shaving my legs in the shower. I figure it's best not to use too much unecessary gunk, especially ones that marketers tell us we need.
posted by quietfish at 3:11 PM on May 9, 2006


You wouldn't happen to have a "Miami device", would you? This, reputedly, was an electric razor sold in the 80s configured to leave just the perfect amount of scruff to complement a pastel blazer.

The concept of this fills me with dread, fascination, and amazement. Thank god the 80s have ended.
posted by blacklite at 3:26 PM on May 9, 2006


Shaving gel is for lamerz.

I use two things in the shower: ivory soap and toothpaste. My skin looks and feels great, and my hair is in perfect shape. All the shit that you buy is unneccessary.
posted by spincycle at 3:47 PM on May 9, 2006


The real conspiracy is not the cream, but the razors. Why, with all the industrial technology that we have, can they not create some sort of last-forever, diamond-encrusted blade or similar?

(Oh, yeh, because then you wouldn't have to keep buying replacements!)

Personally, now using electric, with a quick dry skim-shave with a cheapo generic single-blader to tidy up any bristles that the electric shaver refused to take. This generic razor is now six months old or more & still going strong.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:58 PM on May 9, 2006


I was an electric shaver for years, beginning in high school when my dad bought me one like his (he's allergic to shaving creams or some such thing, so he doesn't use straight razors anymore.) Then, on a whim and in an attempt to try something new for a change a few years ago, I bought a Gillette Mach 3 razor and some matching shaving cream. LOVED IT. I was able to get a smoother shave than any electric razor had ever given me. A year ago I upgraded to the bright-green Gillette motorized one, and just today thanks to the marketing going on in this very thread I bought Gillette's new sixty-jillion-blade (wait, let me count—ah, that's five) razor. I've been shaving without cream for the past few months, usually in the shower, but today I couldn't resist the allure of the shiny new razor and matching can of shaving cream.
posted by emelenjr at 4:55 PM on May 9, 2006


I shave using a mirror to reflect my heat vision. Lois always complains about the burnt hair smell in the mornings. Man, is that chick a drag sometimes.
posted by Sparx at 7:18 PM on May 9, 2006


I have to agree with the Proraso love. If using that stuff is wrong, I don't want to be right.

Articles like this are why I love the Internet. You can keep your blogs and your myspaces and your things with RSSes in them. Give me a crackpot ranting about the insidiousness of mundane items any day.
posted by MrBadExample at 9:59 PM on May 9, 2006


Aqueous cream.
posted by holgate at 2:45 AM on May 11, 2006


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