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Propaganda Engine
May 13, 2006 7:27 AM   Subscribe

Oil and Gas are such slut bags! Coal is so cute! Don't you feel like such a schmuck for not liking coal? A NPO promoting the benefits of coal with children for spokespeople.
posted by thefreek (35 comments total)

 
I'm all for learning about coal, but the 8 10 year olds are bit much for a saturday morning.
posted by tomplus2 at 7:35 AM on May 13, 2006


"With technology, the future is pretty unbelievable." Indeed.
posted by unknowncommand at 7:50 AM on May 13, 2006


Ha! That's hilarious. It feels like a parody: "Americans for Balanced Energy Choices" and coal was the best fuel source they could come up with? A nine-year-old kid knows how tough it is to run a small business these days? "The new coal plants that they'll be building by the time I'm an adult will be pollution free!"
posted by teg at 7:52 AM on May 13, 2006


This isn't an NPO, it is the coal lobby dressed up as kids. Apparently, the souls of puppies and kitties couldn't be bought so easily.

The new coal plants they were going to have by the time I was an adult was going to be pollution free too. That was promised during the Reagan admin.
posted by birdherder at 7:58 AM on May 13, 2006


Ah, yes...the old precocious-youngsters-as-endearingly-innocuous-Change-Agents-
for-the-commodities-industry trick. I was wondering when KAOS was going to pull that one.

/Max Smart
posted by Smart Dalek at 7:59 AM on May 13, 2006


Emissions free*

*by free, we mean we free more emissions into the atmosphere than any other type of power source!
posted by parallax7d at 8:03 AM on May 13, 2006


Emissions* free

*definition of emissions may not match Oxford English Dictionary
posted by anthill at 8:21 AM on May 13, 2006


He's "stoked" about coal.

Stoke the coal a little more, slaves, time to throw in Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego! Fire up the coal! Stoke! Stoke! Stoke!
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 8:26 AM on May 13, 2006


If they really want to change the public perception of coal they need to start earlier and go after that whole naughty kid gift from Santa Claus thing.
posted by soiled cowboy at 8:27 AM on May 13, 2006



posted by basicchannel at 8:30 AM on May 13, 2006


Note the huge lie on the front page: there is enough coal to last 250 years, it says. Look inside, and the claim is repeated with a little caveat: at the current rate of consumption.

On the basis of figures given elsewhere on the site, production is actually doubling every 20 or 25 years, suggesting that it will last 40 years or so.

Other similar calculations put peak coal about 30 years out.
posted by apodo at 8:34 AM on May 13, 2006


Actually you can build an emissions free fossil-fired plant. Designing one has been a regular 4th year project at my Alma Mater. However it requires: These are major obstacles, and implementing them all would increase the cost of coal generated electricity into wind and solar territory. The coal industry is desparately trying to get government money to develop these technologies, but my gut feeling is that they're dead ends.

Finally anyone who worries about a hundred thousand tons of nuclear waste buried at Yucca mountain should be scared shitless about burying a billion tons per year of CO2.
posted by Popular Ethics at 8:47 AM on May 13, 2006


Whippersnappers.

We geezers are still waiting for electricity that is too cheap to meter due to the wonders of nuclear fission.
posted by cedar at 9:03 AM on May 13, 2006


They left out the "More radioactive waste then Nuclear" part.

I wonder why.
posted by delmoi at 9:18 AM on May 13, 2006


"I may be a kid, but we're a lot alike. We both want affordable energy... and a clean environment!"
posted by the jam at 9:37 AM on May 13, 2006


So, did anyone else grow up reading Tecwyn, the Last of the Welsh Dragons? It was all about how everyone was saved from the disaster of the coal shortage by nuclear energy.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:40 AM on May 13, 2006


I thought the error message that you get if you don't have flash was slightly amusing:

We are sorry, it appears that you currently do not meet this sites technology requirements.
This is easliy remedied. Read blow to see what you need to enbale.


I've tried enbaling, and it just doesn't work!
posted by brool at 9:45 AM on May 13, 2006


Wasn't this an old Daily Show clip with Colbert? The one about gas station price fixing?

"And in the following interview, the oil companies will be played by an adorable 11-year-old girl..."
posted by rafter at 9:53 AM on May 13, 2006


heh. I got called for a survey last year by a thinly veiled front for the coal industry -- they seemed to be trying out various slogans and approaches to see how'd they'd go over. Maybe my remarks were so snarky ("what do I think of when I hear the word 'coal'? Hmm, I guess I'd have to say I think of a tragic history of dead miners killed by incompetence and indifference") that they decided to give up entirely on appealing to adults and try to indoctrinate the next generation.
posted by scody at 10:09 AM on May 13, 2006


Wasn't this an old Daily Show clip with Colbert? The one about gas station price fixing?

It was actually Colbert's daughter.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 10:10 AM on May 13, 2006


Two words -- strip mining. And now for today's musical interlude from John Prine.

Paradise

When I was a child, my family would travel,
To western Kentucky, where my parents were born.
And there's a backwards old town that's often remembered.
So many times that my memories are worn.

And Daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg county,
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
"Well I'm sorry, my son, but you're too late in askin'."
"Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away."

Well, sometimes we'd travel right down the Green River,
To the abandoned old prison down by Aidrie Hill.
Where the air smelled like snakes: we'd shoot with our pistols,
But empty pop bottles was all we would kill.

And Daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg county,
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
"Well I'm sorry, my son, but you're too late in askin'."
"Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away."

Then the coal company came, with the world's largest shovel,
And they tortured the timber and stripped all the land.
Well, they dug for their coal till the land was forsaken.
Then they wrote it all down as the progress of man.

And Daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg county,
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
"Well I'm sorry, my son, but you're too late in askin'."
"Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away."

When I die, let my ashes float down the Green River.
Let my soul roll on up to the Rochester dam.
I'll be halfway to Heaven with Paradise waitin',
Just five miles away from wherever I am.

And Daddy won't you take me back to Muhlenberg county,
Down by the Green River, where Paradise lay.
"Well I'm sorry, my son, but you're too late in askin'."
"Mr. Peabody's coal train has hauled it away."

posted by bim at 10:21 AM on May 13, 2006


XQUZYPHYR: "It was actually Colbert's daughter."

Ah, YouTube! Of course!

I must have gone through every clip on the Daily Show site. Thanks, it's one of my favorites.
posted by rafter at 10:32 AM on May 13, 2006


Is youtube busy, or did they start prioritizing the internet's traffic already?
posted by IronLizard at 10:40 AM on May 13, 2006


Thorium. We've got enough thorium on this here rock to last us several hundred thousand years. At current consumption rates.
posted by spazzm at 2:05 PM on May 13, 2006


delmoi: They left out the "More radioactive waste then Nuclear" part.

Exactly. More info on the radioactive vaste produced by burning coal.
posted by spazzm at 2:08 PM on May 13, 2006


XQUZYPHYR, we love the same things.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 2:35 PM on May 13, 2006


Coal mining in a nutshell:

1) Tear off the top of a mountain.
2) Extract the coal.
3) Dump everything else into the valleys and streambeds.
4) Proceed to next mountain. Repeat.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:04 PM on May 13, 2006


Marketing makes the world go 'round.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:45 PM on May 13, 2006


Which is to say, fuck them.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:46 PM on May 13, 2006


The miners united will never be defeated.
posted by sgt.serenity at 7:45 PM on May 13, 2006


someone needs to take these parents out and have them shot.
posted by any major dude at 7:58 PM on May 13, 2006


Doesn't an emissions-free coal burning plant entail untold quantities of filters that need to be safely disposed of?
posted by Citizen Premier at 8:03 PM on May 13, 2006


Citizen Premier: Doesn't an emissions-free coal burning plant entail untold quantities of filters that need to be safely disposed of?

Well presumably the filters themselves can be regenerated (think backwashing your pool filter), or else the plants will use fancy things like electrostatic preciptiation, or wet scrubbers. But yes, the particulates they trap will have to be disposed of. Again, we would be talking about many thousands of tons per year.
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:19 PM on May 13, 2006


Don't forget as well, that for every 100 tons of coal burnt, you have to dispose of 85 tons of ash: about 110 million tons / year in the US. A lot of this ash is useful - it makes a high strength concrete additive for instance - but it also contains large amounts of heavy metals and other toxins. The EPA recently decided not to classify coal combustion byproducts as hazardous wastes, but "remains concerned about coal combustion byproducts because of the potential for environmental damage"
posted by Popular Ethics at 9:39 PM on May 13, 2006


A lot of this ash is useful - it makes a high strength concrete additive for instance - but it also contains large amounts of heavy metals and other toxins.

And, not to forget, radioactive material.
posted by spazzm at 3:16 AM on May 14, 2006


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