I assure you we will not let the glaciers win.

May 14, 2006 5:40 AM

In the face of the overwhelming problems in this country, President Al Gore took the time last night to appear before the country on NBC and address each issue with the American people.
posted by XQUZYPHYR (108 comments total)

You killed it.
posted by notsnot at 6:02 AM on May 14, 2006

Yeah, The punch-line got tipped, but I enjoyed it anyway.
posted by mmahaffie at 6:08 AM on May 14, 2006

Eep. Okay, alternative link.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:09 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

works for me! and I laughed...
posted by lupus_yonderboy at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2006

I laughed.

Then I shed bitter, bitter tears.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:27 AM on May 14, 2006

one of the better swipes i've seen ... not just at bush, but at those who think things would be drastically different if gore had been president

ok, he probably wouldn't have done iraq ...
posted by pyramid termite at 6:40 AM on May 14, 2006

ok, he probably wouldn't have done iraq

Ah, euphemism. I see we've lost the quietly enjoyable,"Debbie Does Dallas," sense of the word. Nike'd better change their slogan.

I was sad at the end, too. 9/11 never happened because we sent a preemptive invasion of drunken frat boys and girls gone wild? That's not even funny, considering the burka and the ban on alcohol.
posted by anotherpanacea at 6:53 AM on May 14, 2006

Hilarious.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 6:55 AM on May 14, 2006

Remindes me of Futurama style comedy for some reason, I wonder if some of their writers went to SNL.
posted by parallax7d at 7:01 AM on May 14, 2006

Gore's daughter was a Futurama writer. He's called it his favorite show.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:05 AM on May 14, 2006

Waiting for the humorless morons on the right side of the blogosphere to complete miss the point and attack him viciously about it...
posted by empath at 7:17 AM on May 14, 2006

Yes, CL beat me.
I was laughing and crying at the same time.
posted by parm=serial at 7:19 AM on May 14, 2006

You all realize that he's so principled that he's pro death penalty and married a woman who disagrees with the First Amendment, right?

He's not revolting on a Bush level, but he's not really your friend, either. Unless you are a corporation.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:19 AM on May 14, 2006

Remindes me of Futurama style comedy for some reason, I wonder if some of their writers went to SNL.

Kristen Gore wrote for Futurama and was listed in the credits on last night's SNL in "additional material by" so I'm guessing that means she wrote the monologue for her dad.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 7:22 AM on May 14, 2006

The next time you hear someone say there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans, stick a pin in a Ralph Nader doll.

The Neocons’ joy ride to fascism these last five years has sure illustrated how Democrats have a different worldview.

Al Gore's Saturday Night Live skit is a painfully humorous alternative ending to the 2000 election. I guess using a New York skyline backdrop with the World Trade Center towers still in place would have been completely out of hand. Right?

When they hunted and impeached Bill Clinton, I felt the 2000 election was going to be big-time payback, but I was wrong. When we saw instead an election that spun like a rigged slot machine, I was flabbergasted. When the Trade Centers fell shortly after, I pointed out to a friend that whoever did that is capable of anything.

As the daily outrages come our way, I keep seeing that image of George Bush holding hands with the Saudi prince. What's that mean?
posted by BillyElmore at 7:23 AM on May 14, 2006

Mayor Curley: "Principled" != "agrees with Mayor Curley"
posted by empath at 7:32 AM on May 14, 2006

I see your point about the death penalty, but come on. All Tipper wanted was a damn sticker (on a Prince record, granted!), and she wasn't running for anything. Plus she was pretty good about taking the stigma out of mental illness! His killing the dolphins really got me, though.
posted by DenOfSizer at 7:36 AM on May 14, 2006

Mayor Curley: "Principled" != "agrees with Mayor Curley"

But does "Principled" = "kills" + "free speech is dangerous"?
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:38 AM on May 14, 2006

Principles are not ideologically bound. This is not a difficult concept to grasp.
posted by aaronetc at 7:41 AM on May 14, 2006

stickers on albums != abrogating free speech.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:41 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

I can't stop crying.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:43 AM on May 14, 2006

I can't stop crying.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:43 AM on May 14, 2006

Or posting.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:44 AM on May 14, 2006

I shared the dislike of Tipper Gore, but in the greater scheme of things, if lyric censorship was the biggest issue of our time, that would be a good trade.

He killed dolphins?
posted by bingo at 7:47 AM on May 14, 2006

Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over
posted by growabrain at 7:48 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

stickers on albums != abrogating free speech.

All right. All right. So he merely likes killing. Or says he does because it's politically expedient. But whatever. If you can't have good leadership you might as well have some that's less bad, I guess.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:50 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Mayor Curley's just mad because Perfect McPerfectstern didn't run. And, really, who isn't?
posted by billysumday at 7:52 AM on May 14, 2006

I used to have a t-shirt that said "Fuck Tipper Gore."

I don't think Al Gore would have been our savior, but he would have been better than GWB, for sure. I thought the clip was funny. And sad, too, just like CL said.
posted by jennyb at 7:56 AM on May 14, 2006

yeah , at this point can anyone really believe gore would have been worse at this job than bush?
posted by nola at 8:04 AM on May 14, 2006

Mayor Curley's just mad because Perfect McPerfectstern didn't run. And, really, who isn't?

And everybody else is weighing in on how much better it would be if the shoplifter was running things instead of the smash-and-grab artist.
posted by Mayor Curley at 8:06 AM on May 14, 2006

Well, you never know. Had Gore been president and not been able to use intelligence to prevent 9/11 from happening there could have been a huge outcry from the right that he was soft on terrorism, that this never would have happened with a republican president, etc. We could have seen a bigger swing and be dealing with President Santorum or something by now. Who knows.
posted by allen.spaulding at 8:08 AM on May 14, 2006

Oh man, yeah. Funny-depressing-funny-sad. Surely the Germans have a word for that.
posted by Isabeau Sahen at 8:12 AM on May 14, 2006

They have a word for funny?
posted by horsewithnoname at 8:14 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Wait, BillyElmore, are you saying that the WTC was attacked because Bush was elected??
posted by Hal Mumkin at 8:16 AM on May 14, 2006

that was a funny video, thanks. but the Mayor has a point -- arguing that Gore would have been a better President than Bush is a bit like saying that Justin Timberlake is better than Vanilla Ice -- not much of a compliment, really
posted by matteo at 8:28 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

And everybody else is weighing in on how much better it would be if the shoplifter was running things instead of the smash-and-grab artist.

I am. Until we can afford a security guard, I'll take the shoplifter any day. I'm sick of these broken windows. Call me unprincipled, but I really prefer bad over worse.

I think Gore (and whoever wrote it) did a great job of making as much fun of the "Gore would have solved everything" mentality as he did of Bush. My favorite line was the one about the hurricane and tornado prevention machine he helped develop.
posted by scottreynen at 8:31 AM on May 14, 2006

Bleh. Al Gore, like the people who work for National Public Radio, should not try to be funny.
posted by LarryC at 8:33 AM on May 14, 2006

What were the other skits he was in like? Anyone got any links?
posted by CunningLinguist at 8:37 AM on May 14, 2006

posted by Krrrlson at 8:40 AM on May 14, 2006

Oh wait, that one wasn't a skit.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:41 AM on May 14, 2006

Ha! I missed this - thanks! I did see him do the Weekend Update debate with Amy Poehler. Anyone have a link of that?
posted by dog food sugar at 8:46 AM on May 14, 2006

Hal. The WTC was not attacked because Bush was elected. the WTC was attacked because a new president had recently been elected, and enemies of civilized modern society wanted to insure their message would be heard.

There's a reason why the WTC was attacked that morning before the Pentagon and before the White House, IF the White House was ever actually a target. Since Flight 93 went down prematurely we'll never really know, but the timing of the terrorist attacks was intentional. The World Trade Center was a hub of international commerce, with scores of countries represented, housed in its offices. The terrorists were showing the order of importance they place on their targets. "First we'll attack your international commerce because we feel it's causing us the most immediate harm, then we'll attack your military because they have attacked us in the past and threaten to continue to police us, then we'll attack your political figures because they use military and commerce to weaken us, and we'll attack you in that order." That was their message, and it was heard 'round the world, because they attacked the WTC: an icon which stood out like a sore thumb and stood for everything the terrorists have come to despise about us. They envy and covet our pride, arrogance, and vanity. Americans do not corner the market on those sins.

The terrorists weren't just attacking America when they flew two planes into the WTC. They were attacking the financial stranglehold that the Have Mores have on global interests. The terrorists were sending a message not to America, but to the civilized world. Remember: WTC was carbombed previously on February of 1993, a month after Clinton took office. Then too they sent a similar message. It just wasn't as loud.

Nine Eleven wasn't about Bush shaking hands with Saudis, although that act would be a visual representation of what would raise the cackles in terrorist-like minds' necks. It's not about Christians versus Muslims versus Jews. That's what the Have Mores want the Have Nots to think, because it would cause the Have Nots to fight amongst themselves, and the Have Mores would have more industries within which to invest. War is good for commerce on a short term basis. It creates jobs and generates need for goods and services that peacetime does not offer.

Nine Eleven was about the actions and inactions of rich Christians & Muslims & Jews. As Clinton was fond of saying, it's the Economy, stupid. Follow the money. Bush should have taken note. Instead he's let himself get bogged down by everything BUT the economy, avoiding the financial reality that money is the blood through which civilized society fluorishes. Without healthy flow of commerce, you see everything from industry to health to politics to pretty much everything wither on the vine. Everything except perhaps Religion, which somehow manages to fluorish even through Dark Ages when commerce crawls.

That said, if Gore had taken office, it's plausible that Nine Eleven woulda happened anyway. Our response would have been different, but not by much. Certainly not by as much as the SNL skit insinuated, funny tho it was. I enjoyed the environmental point and counterpoint between Al Gore and Amy during the SNL news moreso, especially when Amy called herself an ignorant slut, thus beating Al Gore to the punch of using that famous Dan Ackroyd line.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:50 AM on May 14, 2006

Had Gore been president and not been able to use intelligence to prevent 9/11 from happening

9/11 was not an intelligence failure. 9/11 was a failure of bureaucracy and organization within the FBI.
posted by rxrfrx at 8:51 AM on May 14, 2006

mayor i'm not saying his policies as president would be greatly different than bush. only that he could not possibly be less competent than bush. bush can't even accomplish the nefarious plans he and the VP have for the country and the world.
posted by nola at 8:56 AM on May 14, 2006

mayor i'm not saying his policies as president would be greatly different than bush.

Why aren't you? Do you really think he would have put an incompetent stooge horse-show judge as head of FEMA? Do you really thing he would have given hundreds of of our money as a gift to war industries? Shit, do you think he would have ignored intelligence briefings and spent 45 days of his first eight months in office on vacation? Which of his polices do you think would be the same as bush's? He's not perfect but he's a completely different kind of man. Some organizations might have a few hooks in him but he's not the property of the oil companies or the Carlyle group.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:03 AM on May 14, 2006

(that should read hundreds of billions of our money)
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:04 AM on May 14, 2006

All right. All right. So he merely likes killing. Or says he does because it's politically expedient. But whatever. If you can't have good leadership you might as well have some that's less bad, I guess.

The Netherlands has some lovely windmills.
posted by dw at 9:08 AM on May 14, 2006

Hey look, the venom is already flowing.
posted by dw at 9:11 AM on May 14, 2006

those who think things would be drastically different if gore had been president

Eh? I think you'd have to be some kind of major idiot to think things would have gone the same with Gore as President.
posted by Artw at 9:13 AM on May 14, 2006

I laughed, I cried, I wished it was still 2000.
posted by briank at 9:16 AM on May 14, 2006

From dw's link:

Humor is subjective; I never found SNL even remotely funny. The worst was that fat pig Chris Farley: The only time I laughed about him was when I found out he died.

Wow. dw managed to locate all 30 percent of the country who think Bush is doing a great job. And they're all snarling, pompous jackasses, to nobody's surprise.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:17 AM on May 14, 2006

I thought that was Darryl Hammond.

Maybe that's why I didn't think it was very funny. The jokes were stale.
posted by Aghast. at 9:20 AM on May 14, 2006

This was absolutely fucking brilliant. This monologue is a perfect bookend to Stephen Colbert's performance last weekend at the WH Correspondent's dinner.

And where the hell was this guy on the campaign trail in 2000? If we saw this Al Gore, all the "hanging chads" in the world wouldn't have been able to save Bush.
posted by deadmessenger at 9:22 AM on May 14, 2006

Attention please: all that dislike Mr Gore therefore what he says sucks, please one step to the right to fries machine ; people that can tell Mr Gore from his ideas, one to the left get your highschool degree ; people that can tell ideas from people who speak ideas, but still think Gore being less then perfect means Gore isn't far from Bush, your legal name is now Mayor Curley or Jocelyne.

Thanks, you may resume your normal reading.
posted by elpapacito at 9:22 AM on May 14, 2006

what would raise the cackles in terrorist-like minds' necks

Ahhh, so that's where the terrorists keep their cackles.
posted by Hildegarde at 9:28 AM on May 14, 2006

I laughed.
posted by my homunculus is drowning at 9:35 AM on May 14, 2006

President Gore would have prevented the September 11 attacks, according to the government's logic in the Moussaoui trail. The government claimed that they would have prevented the attacks if Moussaoui had talked about the plot, and the jury agreed. All of the earlier warnings, including an FBI agent saying he wanted "to prevent Zacarias Moussaoui from flying a plane into the World Trade Center," weren't enough, but Moussaoui's talking supposedly would have made the difference. I think Gore would have continued Clinton's top-down focus on terrorism, and by the Bush administration's logic, he would have prevented the attacks.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:37 AM on May 14, 2006

Wow. dw managed to locate all 30 percent of the country who think Bush is doing a great job. And they're all snarling, pompous jackasses, to nobody's surprise.

That's just the LGF crowd, though. Even one True Believer I know says reading LGF is like sitting in a lye-filled jacuzzi.
posted by dw at 9:39 AM on May 14, 2006

My first thought was, "Huh. He does an OK Gore, not great though." But I've reconsidered, and I will concede that his Gore is really pretty good.
posted by veggieboy at 9:39 AM on May 14, 2006

That was surprisingly funny.
posted by jcruelty at 9:44 AM on May 14, 2006

dont you wish al gore was president instead of Bush? I do.
posted by obeygiant at 9:49 AM on May 14, 2006

"are you saying that the WTC was attacked because Bush was elected??"

That's a likely possibility.

Clinton had a solid plan ready for invading Afghanistan to take out Bin Laden and drive out Al Qaeda. Indications are that he would have launched this well before 9/11/03. Bush completely shelved that plan and got to work on finding a reason to invade Iraq.

Since the 9/11 attackers were training before Bush got elected, it's possible that the attacks would have proceeded even if we'd killed Bin Laden. But it's just as likly that a direct atack on Al Qaeda would have diverted funds and resources away from them.
posted by y6y6y6 at 9:50 AM on May 14, 2006

Mayor Curley:

Are you insane? Are you really saying that supporting the death penalty is in the same ballpark as Bush? That killing a few hundred murderers and even a few dozen wrongly convicted people after due process is in the same league as starting a bullshit war, screwing our long-term economy, and screwing the law? When you say Gore isn't our "friend," who is? I bet there's no candidate out there who doesn't disagree with every one of us on at least one issue. I'm against the death penalty too, but in the grand scheme of things, it's paltry compared to everything the President influences. Voting for a candidate does not imply that you agree with his or her every position.

I heard Nader once yelled at his mom, too. Obviously not our friend, either.
posted by callmejay at 10:03 AM on May 14, 2006

President Gore would have prevented the September 11 attacks, according to the government's logic in the Moussaoui trail. The government claimed that they would have prevented the attacks if Moussaoui had talked about the plot, and the jury agreed.

Well, if the government said it, and a jury agreed, then it must be true!
posted by SweetJesus at 10:05 AM on May 14, 2006

9/11 would have happened no matter who was is office.
Its stupid to say otherwise.
posted by obeygiant at 10:10 AM on May 14, 2006

"Wait! (cute trick) BillyElmore...are you saying that the WTC was attacked because Bush was elected??"

Yea, I suppose I am.

The three theories go--One, 9-11 happened because Team Bush was asleep at the switch. One of the greatest intelligence failures in history happened. Two, Neocons let it happen because the attack opened the door to all the horrors we now live. Or, three, the rotten SOBs who have shown us they will do anything for power, were willing to even do anything for power.

I was at position one on 9-12-01. I've held view two quite a while, but three holds more water everyday.
posted by BillyElmore at 10:24 AM on May 14, 2006

9/11: Probably
Afghanistan: Probably
Iraq: Not a chance in hell
Cynical political use of a "war on terror": Probably not
Katrina fuck-up: No
Destructive social agenda: No
Destructive enviromental agenda: No
That deficit thats about to screw you forever: No
posted by Artw at 10:31 AM on May 14, 2006 [1 favorite]

Artw - You forget the attacks on the Bill Of rights.

Holding citizens without charge: No
Drift net searches without warrants: No
"Torture memos": No
posted by y6y6y6 at 10:36 AM on May 14, 2006

That made me sad.
posted by interrobang at 10:38 AM on May 14, 2006

That killing a few hundred murderers and even a few dozen wrongly convicted people after due process is in the same league as starting a bullshit war, screwing our long-term economy, and screwing the law?

No, I have every confidence that Gore would have been a better president than Bush. Democrats are more subtle about going on the take because they don't think the electorate is quite as dumb as the republicans.

Actually the republicans are correct in their assessment of the voting public's intelligence, but it makes the democrats seem restrained and moral. Restrained and moral because their attitude is "we'll just take a little bit. Jeez, we shouldn't be doing this. We'll never get away with this. Let's take just a little more!" While the Republicans are all telling each other "Just grab what you can and act like you're entitled and if someone stops you say something about how great America is or Jesus or something!"

So to the small percentage of the public that has enough sense to be outraged, the democrats' apologetic nibbling looks good by comparison. But they're still stealing. And we should be able to have a government that makes things better instead of just makes things worse more slowly.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:02 AM on May 14, 2006

you know, usually i'm quite happy never watching SNL ever again. then a sketch like that one comes along and reminds me that they are, in fact, hysterically funny sometimes.
posted by shmegegge at 11:24 AM on May 14, 2006

Between Gore's Wired cover story and SNL, it reminds me a bit of Clinton's Sax playing on national TV.
posted by shoepal at 11:41 AM on May 14, 2006

That was hilarious, actually. The big question of course is whether Gore is considering a second run (as he seems to be). However I'm not sure I could endure watching the sharp funny critic that Gore's become morph back into the triangulating and difficult to listen to pol we remember from back in the day.

The trivial mainstream press hated him and crucified him then (the whole campaign appeared on Americn television mostly as "the guy you like" vs "the annoying guy"), and would do so again.

In short, I've come to like Gore but fear him as a candidate.
posted by washburn at 11:50 AM on May 14, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't help it. I love that man. I've always thought that despite his unfortunate taste in wives and campaign managers that Al Gore is an intellegient, funny, decent guy and despite the fact he's not as good a politician as he should be, he'd have made a damn fine president.

If this man had been on the campaign trail in 2000, it'd be a very different world.

Thank god he wasn't...I hate glaciers more than I hates terrorists. ;)
posted by teleri025 at 11:51 AM on May 14, 2006

"Baseball Commissioner George W. Bush," you guys. Seriously.
posted by Zozo at 11:54 AM on May 14, 2006

I believe the world would have been a far different place today if Al Gore had been president--even if for one term in 2000-2004. Al has some intriguing aspects that should be taken into account before discounting him, both for moderates and liberals alike.

1. He made a lot of mistakes when he ran. He diluted himself down. He listened to the wrong people. In the last six years, I believe that he has learned from past mistakes--if he has, and he runs on his beliefs, rather than handlers, he could be president.

2. Al Gore actually has somethiing to say: Protecting the environment is essential to the survival of humankind. The Iraq excursion should never have happened. Spending the nation into bankruptcy is not a legacy to leave our kids. I agree with him on many more issues than most other potential candidates.

3. A Gore administration would not be dealing with consistent outbreaks of corruption with the administration. I belive the guy actually has ethics!

Isn't it time we started listening to what people say instead of how they say it? We don't need a charismatic charmer in the White House. We need someone who can set a vision, develop the agenda, and implement it without destroying humankind!
posted by barrista at 11:55 AM on May 14, 2006

Ah, that was cute, thanks.
posted by furiousthought at 12:08 PM on May 14, 2006

He made a lot of mistakes when he ran. He diluted himself down. He listened to the wrong people. In the last six years, I believe that he has learned from past mistakes--if he has, and he runs on his beliefs, rather than handlers, he could be president.

I'm going to let you in on a secret. The lack of distinction between candidates is not the only reason that voting doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter because Republicans now count the key votes. So Al Gore can never be president.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:26 PM on May 14, 2006

it reminds me a bit of Clinton's Sax playing on national TV


yeah but Clinton was then an unknown (only the political news junkies -- 0.000000014% of the voting public -- remembered his ultra-lame 1988 speech at the Convention in Atlanta). everybody has an opinion on Gore, he's been around forever. his negatives used to be pretty high, I'd be surprised if he's really polling better now (correct me if I'm wrong and you have new polls). also, a lot of big Democratic donors lost a lot of money betting on Gore in 2000, and it shouldn't have ended in the SCOTUS anyway, not on Clinton's economic record, so he burnt their cash, and these guys have long memories, I don't think he'd find the money to run now. he has a big "L" (L for Liberal, Loser, etc) branded on his forehead now

and, I don't think Diebold likes him more than the SCOTUS did in 2000


he'd have made a damn fine president


maybe. but progressives should keep in mind that as Clinton worked to become the most successful Republican President of the twentieth century -- deep welfare cuts, massive telecommunications deregulation, etc -- Gore was there. it's not like he was working against all that -- Al was there, cheering for Big Business and the Gingrich agenda
posted by matteo at 12:27 PM on May 14, 2006

Funny. Sad.

I hope Gore runs again, even if it only amounts to keeping his talking points alive. If he relaxes and shows his human side, rather than the political-automaton side he showed in 2000 then he'll win a lot of converts - though I'm not sure if he'd win the Dem nomination.
posted by C.Batt at 12:31 PM on May 14, 2006

re: venom: That was a close call. Fortunately I've mapped littlegreenfootballs.com to 127.0.0.1 in my hosts file so I don't accidentally click on a link and visit their site.

Perhaps that's immature or naive of me but I generally have a better day when I don't step in dog shit, cut my finger slicing bread or visit a site that thinks "Arafish" is funny.
posted by fleetmouse at 12:37 PM on May 14, 2006

maybe. but progressives should keep in mind that as Clinton worked to become the most successful Republican President of the twentieth century -- deep welfare cuts, massive telecommunications deregulation, etc -- Gore was there. it's not like he was working against all that -- Al was there, cheering for Big Business and the Gingrich agenda

Cheering for business is not the same thing as cheering for big business and not the same thing as handing over billions in public funding outright. Nor did the VP's office always have the current power it seems to hold now.

Nor, I think, does anybody above capture what's probably the actual difference between Gore and Clinton and the DLC and the neocon repubs. The current administration is entirely ideologically driven. Once they've concieved of something, that's how it is, and if their Gods require the sacrifice of a baby, so be it. In this way, they're not that different than some frothing lefties that hang out here. Gore and Clinton were smarter than that, using their policy wonkiness to take different and sometimes mixed tacks, and to some, that looks unprincipled and throws them in with the "other side." But my bet was that if any God asked for the sacrifice of a baby, the first question either of them would have asked themselves was if they could weasel out of it, cut off only a foot, find another God and avoid it entirely, whatever, because I think they genuinely meant to do good. There was an ideology behind their actions. It wasn't the pure progressive dream. And they pragmatically tacked away from even that sometimes. It wasn't perfect and there's still things we're all mad about and hell that's why I voted for Nader. But their leadership was as good as any we've had for 20 years, and almost certainly better from what we've had for six. Don't be too hard on that stripe of politician. There are reasons they've been succesful, and not all of them were bad.

I'm personally remembering W.'s dad appearing on SNL. Responding to Dana Carvey's parodies with style.
posted by namespan at 1:24 PM on May 14, 2006

"First we'll attack your international commerce because we feel it's causing us the most immediate harm, then we'll attack your military because they have attacked us in the past and threaten to continue to police us, then we'll attack your political figures because they use military and commerce to weaken us, and we'll attack you in that order."

I think it was more "We'll attack you in whatever order we manage to hijack the planes and get them to their destinations".
posted by delmoi at 1:28 PM on May 14, 2006

I'm one of those shmucks who voted for Nader in 2000 because I couldn't stand Gore. (Note: I voted in Vermont. First state to go for Gore. I could have voted for Donald Duck and it wouldn't have mattered.)

I hadn't made up my mind on whether or not I would ever vote for Gore if he ran again (I mean, if he was running against Beelzebub or Jeb Bush, duh no question), but he just won my heart with this.

It doesn't take much with me.

Also: cars running on trash! Can we do this? Please?
posted by grapefruitmoon at 2:18 PM on May 14, 2006

Another gem from DW's link:

It's difficult to imagine anything more frightening than al-gore being president on 9.11.01

Uh, My Pet Goat, anybody?
posted by SassHat at 2:30 PM on May 14, 2006

The big question of course is whether Gore is considering a second run (as he seems to be).

Keep in mind the last time he appeared on SNL was the weekend right before he annouced he wasn't going to run.

The only thing I'll concede at this point is he's likely the only candidate in this stage who could raise enough funds to beat Hillary for the nomination.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 2:57 PM on May 14, 2006

Much as I adored him for doing this, listening to the cadences of his voice reminded me why people didn't like him.

He's got a mission now - save the world. Running for president would be so much less impressive.
posted by CunningLinguist at 3:13 PM on May 14, 2006

Fortunately I've mapped littlegreenfootballs.com to 127.0.0.1 in my hosts file so I don't accidentally click on a link and visit their site.

It would be better for all of us if the world's DNS servers mapped them to localhost.

Perhaps that's immature or naive of me but I generally have a better day when I don't step in dog shit, cut my finger slicing bread or visit a site that thinks "Arafish" is funny.

That's why I rarely read LGF. I only check in when I know the commenters will be choking on their own bile.
posted by dw at 3:42 PM on May 14, 2006

"I'll take the shoplifter any day."

I see him as more like a kid that works a register and lets the cool kids walk with a six-pack of beer every now and then so he'll get invited to the cool kid parties.
posted by 2sheets at 5:19 PM on May 14, 2006

For some reason DW's post above warranted its own blog entry on lgf.
posted by tapeguy at 5:57 PM on May 14, 2006

Well, when you're that desperately, frantically needing to convince yourself that, despite being in a dwindling minority, and despite all evidence to the contrary, you are nonetheless right and the rest of the world is insane, any negative attention requires commentary and accusations of lunacy.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:12 PM on May 14, 2006

For some reason DW's post above warranted its own blog entry on lgf.

Hey, if it brings meaning to their small lives, I'm all for it.

Well, when you're that desperately, frantically needing to convince yourself that, despite being in a dwindling minority, and despite all evidence to the contrary, you are nonetheless right and the rest of the world is insane, any negative attention requires commentary and accusations of lunacy.

I can name a lot of groups like that. Fundamentalists of all shapes and sorts. Political True Believers. Jazz and indie rock music critics.
posted by dw at 6:28 PM on May 14, 2006

From the LGF link:

"Forget the real threats to humanity - the Islamists who would kill any of us given the opportunity unless we submit to Islam - the same theology which forms the underpinning of al Qaeda."

God damn those LGF'ers are dumb.
posted by rougy at 6:47 PM on May 14, 2006

Just one more from LGF:

"Gore is a pathetic yet mildly entertaining person. He is a little, little man. His people cannot be trusted to lead this country in this time of peril. EVER. The Democrats must be defeated in November.

If there were ever a casebook example of delusion, this is it.
posted by rougy at 6:50 PM on May 14, 2006

At least he can fucking read. And speak clearly.
posted by fourcheesemac at 6:54 PM on May 14, 2006

It's sad that these people actually belive that voting for someone like Kerry would really bring harm to the country. Democrats are not soft on terrorism.
posted by delmoi at 7:37 PM on May 14, 2006

...


I'm just impressed that Gore can laugh at himself like that, and put it out there and take risks on the level of a comedian. Comedy is hard. It's risky. It's humiliating when you fail. I don't know if it's that he's given up the idea of ever running for public office, or if he thinks this public exposure can somehow put him back in the game, or if he just did it cuz he wanted the challenge. I think he did good. Anyone who can take the criticism of being a stuff shirt and be willing to try change, is ok in my book.
posted by ZachsMind at 7:59 PM on May 14, 2006

MeFi vs. LGF.

I'm rooting for the hot one.
posted by homunculus at 8:02 PM on May 14, 2006

(Possibly NSFW.)
posted by homunculus at 8:02 PM on May 14, 2006

posted by brownpau at 8:17 PM on May 14, 2006

Hmm...
posted by homunculus at 8:25 PM on May 14, 2006

Oh wait, that one wasn't a skit.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:41 AM PST on May 14

ahahaha also you remember when when dean screamed oh my god lmao what a fukken idiot maicheal moore demoncrats EVILution
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:42 AM on May 15, 2006

ahahaha also you remember when when dean screamed oh my god lmao what a fukken idiot

You laugh sarcastically but look where Dean is now...no chance at another election bid, effectively labelled a left wing nutjob, and neutered/ineffective to everyone but fundies.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 5:33 PM on May 15, 2006

You laugh sarcastically but look where Dean is now...no chance at another election bid, effectively labelled a left wing nutjob, and neutered/ineffective to everyone but fundies

Are you kidding me? He's the head of the DNC! He raised 50% more money in 2005 than Terry McCollough was able to raise in 2003 when he was chairman. He's all over CNN and Fox every time they need a Democratic talking head. He's one of the more visible members of the democratic party. He's the architect of the "new" 50-state political strategy for the mid-term elections, for christ's sake.

The idea that Dean is political untenable because he fucked-the-pooch once publicly is laughable. George Bush looks like an idiot on a daily basis, and up until 9 months ago, had some of the highest approval ratings of most any president - it's all in how he deals with it (slickly..). People, politically, don't remember or care about gaffes that happened last week, never mind last election. Dean isn't president just because of the scream. He comes across as arrogant when he's interviewed on television, he's from an easy state to parody as uber-liberal, and he was one of nine other democratic candidates who were all busy cannibalizing the other.

The scream didn't do shit.
posted by SweetJesus at 5:49 PM on May 15, 2006

Mmm....kool-aid tastes good.

He's a fundraiser because he'll never hold a highly visible public elected office again. He's able to raise funds because he makes Democrats into vicious, agenda-driven whores (something that puts fire into the belly of cash-laden Dems who want something to throw their cash at). But instead of creating coalitions and charging with good ideas, he's simply picking up where the Republicans left off in 2004 after their win.
posted by SeizeTheDay at 6:38 PM on May 15, 2006

Mmm....kool-aid tastes good.

Who the fuck's drinking kool-aid? I don't even like Howard Dean, I'm just not naive enough to think he's neutered. Holding a political office isn't everything.
posted by SweetJesus at 7:35 PM on May 15, 2006

SeizeTheDay -

He's a fundraiser because he'll never hold a highly visible public elected office again. He's able to raise funds because he makes Democrats into vicious, agenda-driven whores....

Oh, that's a funny one. "Vicious." "Agenda-driven." Is that what spine looks like to the rightwing?

A lot of people on the left have come to like and respect Howard Dean. The last gaff he made, for us, was when he conceded to some nutjob Christian news site that marriage was between "a man and a woman."

Vicious? That's funny.

You have yet to see viciousness.
posted by rougy at 9:05 PM on May 15, 2006

Al Gore would have bene a terrific president. Smart, compassionate, effective. Sadly, he ran a poor campaign, and then there was that mess in Florida. I don't know if he could get the nomination, or win the election, but he's a far better candidate than Hilary Clinton, who I think cannot win, or any Dem. contender I've seen yet.

One of the biggest problems we have on the Blue side is our inability to wholeheartedly support candidates. Oooohh, I can't support him, he once told a joke about spiders that offended me, and he stumbled while he was walking on water. We badly need a positive, focused message, and some enthusiasm for it. Otherwise, we'll have another Republican in the White House. Hopefully, one who's not incompetent and corrupt, with a VP who's an agent of the Dark Lord (can't help myself, Cheney is Just.So.Vile), but a Republican nonetheless.
posted by theora55 at 6:57 AM on May 16, 2006