Cockroaches and Maroons
May 22, 2006 10:43 PM   Subscribe

Rugby League player involved in unprovoked drunken assault on woman. The sporting world’s longest running train wreck? Lewd, alcohol-fueled phonecalls and brothel visits during a State team "bonding session". Coaches quitting because players can’t obey simple rules such as "please don’t show up drunk to training." Faeces smeared walls? No problems. I’ll even take a leak under a blackjack table for good measure. The Australian Captain gets dumped, unconscious, outside a police station by a taxi driver. Serial on-field sodomy. Millionaire businessman and boss of an NRL team (and father of supermodel Elle MacPherson) involved in drunken, jumper-slashing fight (or two). Sexual assault at a university dorm. Pack rape group sex by the pool, anyone? And what do you do when you’re the Australian Captain when these sexual assault claims are causing so much angst? Joke about it at a national press conference, of course. Despite all this, interest for tomorrow’s big game is high.
posted by uncanny hengeman (36 comments total)

 
See also...

In the same week Penrith Panthers played Craig Gower was stripped of the team’s captaincy and fined $100,000 for his behaviour during a charity golf day on the Sunshine Coast last year. Gower is alleged to have groped the daughter of Tigers great Wayne Pierce, threatening other people at a diner and in a great league tradition ran around nude.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:45 PM on May 22, 2006


Rugby League foreplay:

"Where the fuck are you? There's four toey humans in the cab. It's 20 to four. Our cocks are fat and fucking ready to spurt sauce and you're in bed. Fuck me. Fire up, you sad cunt."

Charming stuff!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 10:48 PM on May 22, 2006


So that's the sporting equivalent or our government.
posted by 517 at 11:11 PM on May 22, 2006


Hey, that girl asked Latu to stop throwing corn chips at her. She fully deserved to be smashed in the face! A broken nose is too good for the likes of her!
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:26 PM on May 22, 2006


Best demonstration yet that you don't have to shooting steriods to become a big sports jerk. Major League Baseball take note!
posted by paulsc at 11:30 PM on May 22, 2006


Everyone knows that gentlemen play Union.

~runs and hides~
posted by fshgrl at 11:34 PM on May 22, 2006



To play it safe, maybe I should have added the word "allegedly" to the beginning of a lot of those links! Like UbuRoivas said - maybe she deserved it? Or maybe it never happened?

eg. Just for the record, the rape charges against the Bulldogs players were dropped.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 11:36 PM on May 22, 2006


And as if to highlight the idiocy of the daft game, they're going to play a State of Origin match in Melbourne.

Face it NRL - Victorians don't care - particularly about the State of Origin.
posted by pompomtom at 11:56 PM on May 22, 2006


Victorians don't care - particularly about the State of Origin

That has nothing to do with it. Victoria is full of pack-rapable girls blissfully unaware of rugby league, and unable to pick a rugby league player from a regular bloke. The whole thing has been set up purely as a junket for the players.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:10 AM on May 23, 2006


I didn't ever realise the game was coming to Melbourne. They'll get less spectators than an average AFL match. All eyes on the soccer.

geez league is a terrible game. Thank god nobody plays it.
posted by wilful at 12:19 AM on May 23, 2006


So... don't like league much eh Uncanny?
posted by markr at 1:41 AM on May 23, 2006


Go the Cane Toads!
posted by pjgirl at 2:00 AM on May 23, 2006


What's a 'toey human'?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:16 AM on May 23, 2006


In 2001 Hopoate was fined for some very unsportsmanlike behaviour.
posted by wsg at 2:22 AM on May 23, 2006


..and has henceforth been known as Datefinger.
posted by Jimbob at 2:26 AM on May 23, 2006


So... don't like league much eh Uncanny?

Not at all. Like to watch the game, and have occasionally played the game (mostly played Rugby Union and Aussie Rules, but). In fact, I think it is the toughest game going around.

Not just trying to be colorful there. THE toughest sport I've ever seen and/or played. Not that it means anything.

Was a huge fan in the days of "Three Knees" Hancock and Mal "The Finger" Meninga et al, during its glory period. Doesn’t mean I can’t have an opinion on the dickheadery of the current players!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 2:44 AM on May 23, 2006


No-neck bumsniffers!

/completely pointless abuse
posted by Wolof at 3:09 AM on May 23, 2006


I don't know Union, isn't as bad...

Wendell Sailor...Cocaine...
posted by ahamblyn at 3:23 AM on May 23, 2006


These thugs make kiwis look bad...
posted by ahamblyn at 3:37 AM on May 23, 2006


Funny. Everytime I see Hopoate I think of the old LG tag line. You must admit that the best thing about the state of origion os the Roy and HG call on the JJJ.

Oh yeah, League can hav 'del back now - he's broken!
posted by dangerousdan at 4:25 AM on May 23, 2006


Hmmm...I'm a league fan, but obviously not a fan of disgusting behaviour.
Pay 'em big bucks (a top player is paid 10 times the average salary), take 'em away from their families as juniors (lots of players are from country areas, and many others play interstate) and figure that their only role models are middle age coaches who "got away with all this" in their day and it takes a particularly strong character to not behave like a (criminal) arse.
So all the more respect from me for guys like Hazem El Masri (a tee total muslim family man, arguably one of the best at the game) and Joey Johns and the rest who aren't a disgrace.
Apart from the scum who are genuinely bad apples, I do have some sympathy for the guys who get the media scrutiny 24/7 and are the victim of non-stories whenever they go out for a beer.
A lot of bad apples, but there is still hope for improvement if the sport's administrators would take a hammer to them.
posted by bystander at 4:40 AM on May 23, 2006


I've done things that'd curl your hair. Many of us have. Luckily, no one was reporting our every move.

The Wendell Sailor thing strikes me as an advertisement for the drug. A famous rich athlete snorts coke? Lemme at it! His privacy's been violated. They could have just dropped him.

I cannot wait for this game. Those cane toads have picked the fastest backline ever, but the 'roaches have the experience. However, there's no Andrew Johns. Queensland to win.

When I lived by a noisy highway, I noticed that traffic fell to New Year's Day levels on SOO nights.
posted by emf at 4:41 AM on May 23, 2006


After a night out in Cape Town following a Super 12 game, five Brumbies - Joe Roff, Owen Finegan, Rod Kafer, Bill Young and Peter Ryan - hailed a taxi and refused to pay the fare. When driver Riedewaan Abrahams turned in to a police station to seek help, the players formed a scrum and pushed the taxi down the road, ripped out the meter and dented the roof.

Who's saying these guys aren't in control?
posted by A dead Quaker at 5:33 AM on May 23, 2006


Australia, penal colony, etc.
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:03 AM on May 23, 2006


"I shat in Schlossy's shoe"; and the time, with a cigarette lighter, he tried to set fire to a 13-year-old boy dressed as mascot Danny the Dolphin, on a boat cruise at Port Macquarie.

You have to admit, they'd be pretty fun to go out with -- as long as they didn't turn violent on you.
posted by geoff. at 7:13 AM on May 23, 2006


Best demonstration yet that you don't have to shooting steriods to become a big sports jerk. Major League Baseball take note!

I find it hard to believe that there isn't a lot of steriod use in Rugby, those are some big boys.
posted by afu at 7:22 AM on May 23, 2006 [1 favorite]


You have to admit, they'd be pretty fun to go out with -- as long as they didn't turn violent on you.

"...unless the monkeys started hurting people; which they probably would."
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:30 AM on May 23, 2006


"...unless the monkeys started hurting people; which they probably would."
posted by Mayor Curley

In which case they seem to invariably do. Monkey see, monkey do.
posted by tellurian at 8:18 AM on May 23, 2006


Metafilter: Serial on-field sodomy.
posted by ZenMasterThis at 8:41 AM on May 23, 2006


And that's just human rugby. You think robot soccer's any better?
posted by Smart Dalek at 10:12 AM on May 23, 2006


I'm no prude killjoy, especially back in the day, but I think it was the antics of my teammates on away games that eventually turned me off playing. Rugby can be the poetic embodiment of all sorts of male mythos and physical competition. I love the way the game demands total effort in such a way you cannot help but leave the pitch completely drained. Doing this week in and week out with the same group of people also creates an incredible bond.

But then some tool who can't let go of the rush craps all over this by [insert dumbass/dangerous/general fuckwadity here]. You can only rationalize continued association with a group in spite of a subset who are total cockbuckets for so long. Sad to see the sport is still plagued in such a manner.
posted by Fezboy! at 10:34 AM on May 23, 2006


MetaFilter: group sex by the pool, anyone?
posted by antifreez_ at 11:50 AM on May 23, 2006


Next time.
posted by emf at 5:13 AM on May 24, 2006


This happens with all kinds of pro athletes all over the world. All the time. They almost always get away with a slap on the wrist.
posted by Sukiari at 6:36 PM on May 24, 2006


Wow! Can we have the corresponding litany of allegations against AFL players now ?
posted by johnny7 at 8:02 PM on May 24, 2006


The world might be a better place if everyone who's only claim to fame was running fast and throwing far were lined up and shot.
posted by spazzm at 8:40 PM on May 24, 2006


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