Ay, yi, yi!
May 31, 2006 7:20 PM   Subscribe

"If Miller had his way, America would be nothing but one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals." [mp3; indirect link] We've discussed his TV ad, but Vernon Robinson's new radio ad takes it to the next level, with shocked gasps, a cheesy voiceover artist, and Mariachi music. Mr. Robinson says he's never done any negative campaigning. [via]
posted by kirkaracha (48 comments total)

 
MetaFilter: nothing but one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals.

Introducing him as an Air Force Academy graduate is really funny to me. Is that his most impressive qualification? And it's not "Second Lieutenant Robinson" or something because apparently he just went to college there and didn't serve in the Air Force (which is obviously what he's trying to imply). I didn't know you could go to a service academy and not actually serve until I looked it up.
posted by kirkaracha at 7:21 PM on May 31, 2006


Man, that'd be one fantastic party if that happened.
The music, the dancing, the tequila, the nachos....
Hopefully it happens soon.
posted by nightchrome at 7:24 PM on May 31, 2006


i imagine that sample of disgust after the record scratch will become the next Willhelm Scream.
posted by destro at 7:35 PM on May 31, 2006


Wow, sounds almost like a parody.
posted by delmoi at 7:42 PM on May 31, 2006


They call it negative campaigning...we call it life.
posted by uosuaq at 7:44 PM on May 31, 2006


I for one welcome our new homosexual aliens.
posted by daninnj at 7:44 PM on May 31, 2006


I love me a good fiesta.
posted by Juggermatt at 7:48 PM on May 31, 2006


Wait . . . Making America one huge gay party? I don't see the problem.

*walks off to make frosty drinks and name-tags for everyone*
posted by johnj at 7:49 PM on May 31, 2006


nightchrome may be onto something. Imagine an Illegal Gaylien party: the Mary Achee music, the porñatas, the "quince-inch-eras," ...
posted by rob511 at 7:50 PM on May 31, 2006


Someone (American) should start a campaign protesting negative campaigning. Maybe have a petition that can be sent to each candidate who engages in negative campaigning.

And I suppose the flipside of the site could endorse candidates (of any stripe) who have the good sense to base their platform on goals and personal past performance.
posted by five fresh fish at 7:53 PM on May 31, 2006


(I second FFF)

Hay, how does this allegedly srt8 guy know how to through a gay party, theme and all?
posted by johnj at 7:56 PM on May 31, 2006


Stuff like this reminds me of a classic Mr. Show sketch. There are these two really rich guys producing ridiculous TV ads about themselves, but they aren't running for office or anything. Its just ads about who is the better guy with the better family. Then a reverend runs an ad to get them to stop needless advertising. Final ad: the two rich guys join together to destroy the reverend for fucking with them.

It's kinda like... the people are the reverend, and politicians are the rich guys!
posted by papakwanz at 7:59 PM on May 31, 2006


more from Pam's House Blend on him-- Unhinged Vernon Robinson tries a little 'gay-baiting' on NC incumbent Brad Miller

'Black Jesse Helms' making a run for Congress
posted by amberglow at 8:04 PM on May 31, 2006


this from there: ...At one time or another, Robinson has been endorsed by:

Jesse Helms, Alan Keyes, Bob Barr, Elizabeth Dole, Lauch Faircloth, Richard Burr, Tom Tancredo, U.S. Immigration Reform PAC, English Language PAC, Jack Kemp, Dick Armey, Gary Bauer, the NRA, the Executive Directors of Gun Owners of America and the Citizens Committee for the Right to Keep and Bear Arms, Right-to-Life, Bill Bennett, Pat Buchanan, Pete du Pont, Police Benevolent Association, Int'l Association of Fire Fighters, Republican Liberty Caucus, The Dixie Daily News, Southern Caucus, Richard Petty, and Jeb Bush.

posted by amberglow at 8:06 PM on May 31, 2006


"If Miller had his way, America would be nothing but one big fiesta for illegal aliens and homosexuals."

I don't know anything about this Miller fellow, but I very much want to vote for him. I'm a homosexual who often has the hots for illegal aliens, so admittedly I'm a niche voter.
posted by me & my monkey at 8:09 PM on May 31, 2006


"Dick Armey" *giggle*

/stereotype
posted by johnj at 8:09 PM on May 31, 2006


Keep them endorsements rollin' in, Vern!
posted by maryh at 8:13 PM on May 31, 2006


I like Pacifico's and nicely appointed garden furniture. Plus my condo could use a makeover a half the price. "Bring on" the mariachis and the name tags.
posted by jsavimbi at 8:21 PM on May 31, 2006


Which way to Big Gay Al's Nacho Siesta Hut?
posted by loquacious at 8:26 PM on May 31, 2006


Illegal Gaylien would make a damn good name for a band.
posted by arcticwoman at 8:29 PM on May 31, 2006


This stuff is interesting because it's not hit-or-miss, it's based on what works. America is definitely very frightened of Al Qaeda, Homosexuals, and illegal aliens. He hasn't yet figured out a good way to work Al Qaeda or Mozlems into the equation.
posted by cell divide at 8:35 PM on May 31, 2006


I know it's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for gay Martians, I swear to God!

I like Vernon because he knows what the queers are doing to our soil!
posted by Feral at 8:40 PM on May 31, 2006 [1 favorite]


Oh North Carolina, will you ever learn?
posted by AdamOddo at 8:43 PM on May 31, 2006


really quite true CELL. $$$ goes into writing these things to ensure the outcome. I think that is what frightens me the most about it. They CHOOSE to lie and manipulate. Definition of evil in my book.

[did ya ever see that Nazca Line of a guy with a huge dick? That's a landing strip for gay aliens.]
posted by johnj at 8:46 PM on May 31, 2006


Oh North Carolina, will you ever learn?

Oh please, Vernon Robinson doesn't stand a chance of winning that district.
posted by mediareport at 8:50 PM on May 31, 2006


did ya ever see that Nazca Line of a guy with a huge dick? That's a landing strip for gay aliens.

And people ponder why pubic topiary are often called "landing strips"? Always made perfect sense to me.
posted by loquacious at 8:53 PM on May 31, 2006


/further derail

Hay, what do you call 100 penises goose-stepping\marching in unison?
posted by johnj at 9:05 PM on May 31, 2006


answer:













Dick Army

*rimshot*
posted by johnj at 9:07 PM on May 31, 2006


From robinsonforcongress.com ...

I believe it is in everyone's best interests to restore some level of redeemability or backing to our money. Whether by gold, silver, or some other intrinsically valuable commodity, we need a currency backed by real wealth, not money that is only controlled by the capacity of government printing presses, or by the willingness of an undisciplined Congress to raise the debt ceiling.

If you weren't already convinced that the guy is a wacko, he wants to abolish fiat money. Looney Tunes!
posted by rockabilly_pete at 10:59 PM on May 31, 2006


Jesse Helms protoges are doing so well lately...
posted by bardic at 12:13 AM on June 1, 2006


I'm sorry, this shit is infuriating. A Democrat orders the wrong fucking cheese on a sandwich and it's three weeks of articles about "can Democrats connect with mainstream voters?" Meanwhile, this schmuck gets to run for Congress? As if anyone in this country could even suggest they deserve scum like him to be their "representative?"

Did you guys read the article linked from Pam's House Blend on this motherfucker? He suggested his opponent was homosexual becasue he hadn't had any children with his infertile wife of 24 years.

I can't stand the generic "just let him lose at the ballot box" opinions to lunatics like this anymore. Tom Coburn is sitting in the Senate right now because not a single rational human being, Democrat or Republican, stood up and said, "hey, I've got a great idea- wouldn't the overall confidence in Congress increase if we all agreed to just not let the clinically insane run for political office?"
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:33 AM on June 1, 2006


And the Bon Mot of the Day Award goes to loquacious for "pubic topiary". Everyone is instructed to work that into conversation today at least five times.

did ya ever see that Nazca Line of a guy with a huge dick? That's a landing strip for gay aliens. This thread is worthless without pictures.

In fact, it deserves a Fark Photoshop contest... preferably starting with a picture of Vernon Robinson.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 4:35 AM on June 1, 2006


"hey, I've got a great idea- wouldn't the overall confidence in Congress increase if we all agreed to just not let the clinically insane run for political office?"

XQUZYPHYR, are you running for office? Any office? Head of the household?

Because I'm so voting for you.
posted by thanotopsis at 5:16 AM on June 1, 2006


What xquzyphyr said.

He's running for best damn political cartoonist in the country thanotopsis. Should win handily.

I'll bring the sangria for the party! Who's got the tequila? I love me some Chinaco Anejo!
posted by nofundy at 6:01 AM on June 1, 2006


It's kinda like... the people are the reverend, and politicians are the rich guys!

You see, the people are the traveling salesman, the politician is the farmer, and the slanderous advertising is the milking machine that don't let go till 50 gallons are gone, ahawhawhawhaw!

/Senator Tankerbell
posted by sonofsamiam at 6:05 AM on June 1, 2006


Illegal Gaylien would make a damn good name for a band.

According to Genesis, it's no fun being an illegal gaylien.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:44 AM on June 1, 2006


Meanwhile, this schmuck gets to run for Congress?

Yup. It's a democracy. Which means (gasp) that even people you and I loathe can throw their hat in the ring.

I can't stand the generic "just let him lose at the ballot box" opinions to lunatics like this anymore.

Tough. You have no choice. That's how it works. And all the whining in the world isn't going to change that.

just when I think I'm out,...
posted by jonmc at 6:45 AM on June 1, 2006


Do I have to develop gayliendar now, or will my old gaydar work just as badly on these new threats to the sanctity of whatever?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:12 AM on June 1, 2006


Sigh, you're OBVIOUSLY not subscribing to Gaydar live update. There was a patch for reconquistaists and immigrationalists weeks and weeks ago!
posted by slatternus at 8:02 AM on June 1, 2006


I knew the siren song of a big, gay fiesta would be too much for you to resist, jonmc.
posted by Gamblor at 8:08 AM on June 1, 2006


This kind of willful, aggressive, violent ignorance is still amazing to me. Maybe I'm just naive. (Well, I know I'm naive. But at least I read books.)

I keep thinking this is some kind of Dave Chappelle skit or something, that Clayton Bigsby (yt) is going to wander into the picture.
posted by chicobangs at 8:09 AM on June 1, 2006


slatternus wins!
posted by notreally at 9:18 AM on June 1, 2006


Sigh, you're OBVIOUSLY not subscribing to Gaydar live update. There was a patch for reconquistaists and immigrationalists weeks and weeks ago!

slatternus, that made my Gaydar crash night and day, until I uninstalled it. I was walking around at a party, talking to straight men about Judy Garland, and I realized that something was seriously wrong.
posted by thanotopsis at 10:54 AM on June 1, 2006


Night and day are apparently still up at my location.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:55 AM on June 1, 2006


nightchrome may be onto something. Imagine an Illegal Gaylien party: the Mary Achee music, the porñatas, the "quince-inch-eras," ...
posted by rob511


I just have to express my undying love for the phrase "the porñatas".

I'm so on board with this party. Who could resist?
posted by jokeefe at 11:26 AM on June 1, 2006


do I detect a Gaylian Mariachi Mefi meetup in the works?
posted by Megafly at 12:40 PM on June 1, 2006


That makes little sense. Illegal aliens are usually working all the time - the two groups even if they liked each other would not party with each other.
No, no, none of this is adding up at all.

(speaking of Mr.Show - if you had groups of Frankensteins and Werewolves and Draculas - there would be a tremendous battle, not a party, the whole concept is ridiculous)
posted by Smedleyman at 1:01 PM on June 1, 2006


I'd suggest a trip out to the bars in Jackson Heights for a look at us 2 groups together : >
posted by amberglow at 4:25 PM on June 1, 2006


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