Zarqawi dead; number of legs not reported

June 8, 2006 4:57 AM

Boogeyman down. Abu Musab al-Zarqawi (SFW), who has served the role of boogeyman for U.S. forces in Iraq for several years, though the U.S. has admitted he is not associated with the international Al Qaeda organization, appears to be deceased. "We have been able to identify al-Zarqawi by fingerprint verification, facial recognition and known scars." No word on how many legs he has (the U.S. stated that he had a leg amputated in Baghdad, and used that "fact" as part of the buildup to war). Reportedly, U.S. forces are already seeking a new person to perform the role of Emmanuel Goldstein during the Two Minutes Hate.
posted by jellicle (29 comments total)

4 posts down.
posted by rxrfrx at 4:59 AM on June 8, 2006

gah. dumb. post before caffeine = bad.
posted by jellicle at 5:02 AM on June 8, 2006

The US already had Zarqawi in custody. He was one of the high-value prisoners kept from Red Cross scrutiny for national security reasons (those reasons being his value for psychological ops like the recently released "bonus" footage that the army showed of Zarqawi not knowing how to properly load or fire his own gun, despite all those years in terrorist training camp). Because there's a lot of political heat on Bush at the moment, they killed him and are now making a triumphant noise about it. This has now crossed the line into blatant treason.
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 5:09 AM on June 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

This is a duplicate fpp, btw...
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 5:22 AM on June 8, 2006

Oh yeah?
I'll see your 'Already in Custody' and raise you a 'They Already Killed Him and Saved the Pieces in a Frigidaire'.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:28 AM on June 8, 2006

B B. B B. B B.
posted by nola at 5:31 AM on June 8, 2006

There is no Zarqawi. He was actually a missile or a small plane painted to look like an Iraqi insurgent.
posted by brownpau at 5:34 AM on June 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

Who even cares.
posted by borkingchikapa at 5:36 AM on June 8, 2006

Hi, everybody!
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:39 AM on June 8, 2006

Hi!

[Waves the Zarqawi arm I keep in the freezer. It's great for parties!]
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:46 AM on June 8, 2006

*Crisper, dammit. Keep it in the crisper.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:47 AM on June 8, 2006

Has this been deleted yet?
posted by MrMustard at 5:58 AM on June 8, 2006

The US already had Zarqawi in custody.

Yes, they were going to plant his dead body in the space shuttle and crash it into the UN.
posted by LarryC at 6:24 AM on June 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

Not deleted yet.

Would be nice if all the links like 'Zarqawi paid by US officials' could go here.
posted by rough ashlar at 6:26 AM on June 8, 2006

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwBj1EIBOg8
posted by airguitar at 6:27 AM on June 8, 2006

Oh, it's going to be a hot time in the old right wing blogosphere tonight. "See?!?!!? We TOLD you we were winning this war!"
posted by slatternus at 6:44 AM on June 8, 2006

Yes, they were going to plant his dead body in the space shuttle and crash it into the UN.

I'm not going to debate this with you or anyone else. In fact, as of today, I'm officially retiring the all-seeing eye dog from MetaFilter, and from the blogosphere more generally, out of protest. As long as I've been a guest here, I've always tried to tell the truth as I see it, and that's all I could ever really hope to do. Beyond that, it's your choice whether to see what's happening for what it really is or not. It's no longer my concern. Goodbye, and thanks for the many great discussions I've been privileged to have with you all.
posted by all-seeing eye dog at 6:45 AM on June 8, 2006 [1 favorite]

Huh?
posted by uncanny hengeman at 6:50 AM on June 8, 2006

I'm not going to debate this with you or anyone else. In fact, as of today, I'm officially retiring the all-seeing eye dog from MetaFilter, and from the blogosphere more generally, out of protest.

That'll show 'em.
posted by ozomatli at 6:54 AM on June 8, 2006

I blame myself.
posted by airguitar at 6:55 AM on June 8, 2006

i ate a big red candle.
posted by glenwood at 6:58 AM on June 8, 2006

You're supposed to burn out in MeTa all-seeing eye dog. Poor show.
posted by longbaugh at 7:15 AM on June 8, 2006

Mission accomplished.
posted by LarryC at 7:23 AM on June 8, 2006

Yaaaayy!!!!!!
Take THAT terrorism!

Is it ok to sleep now? Can I resume my normal daily activities now that this evil do'er is history?

Thank you Jesus and GWB!
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 7:39 AM on June 8, 2006

You like gladiator movies?
posted by NationalKato at 7:40 AM on June 8, 2006

Last!
posted by zpousman at 7:42 AM on June 8, 2006

airguitar writes "I blame myself."

I blame you too.
posted by OmieWise at 7:45 AM on June 8, 2006

I'm officially retiring the all-seeing eye dog from MetaFilter, and from the blogosphere more generally, out of protest.

And what a surprise: Metafilter and the blogosphere are still here.
posted by slatternus at 7:45 AM on June 8, 2006

But we're just leaving.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:51 AM on June 8, 2006