Russert: I’m afraid we’re out of time. Satan, I’ll give you the last word.

June 10, 2006 1:38 PM

Meet The Press--in Hellwith Jesus, Satan, Coulter, Malkin--... Russert: We’re back with our guests, Bob Satan and Jesus Christ, and our panel Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. Ann, I’d like to read you a statement by the Virgin Mary, Chairwoman of Mothers Against Armageddon—
Ann Coulter: Oh please. This broad is a millionaire, lionized on frescoes and in scripture about her, reveling in her status as a saint, and stalked by Madonna-parazzies. I have never seen a woman enjoying her son’s death so much. ...
posted by amberglow (25 comments total)

and this is perfect: Russert: Yes, but he raises a good point about credibility. You position yourself as the Prince of Peace…I’d just like to play soundbite for you…
posted by amberglow at 1:39 PM on June 10, 2006

Great parody.
This "Doctrine of Infallibility"...is this a construct of her own mind or has she taken it from someone else?
posted by Dr. Zira at 1:49 PM on June 10, 2006

I think I saw this episode.
posted by papakwanz at 1:55 PM on June 10, 2006

Wickedly good!
posted by bim at 1:56 PM on June 10, 2006

very funny.
posted by nola at 2:01 PM on June 10, 2006

Matt Lauer's Interview with Coulter and Kathy Griffin on Coulter [Both direct links to YouTube video]
posted by Dr. Zira at 2:04 PM on June 10, 2006

Funny. Fake-Coulter's position reminds me of Hitchens on Mother Theresa, aka Agnes Bojaxhiu, and he did have a point.

And Dr. Zira, you're right--Coulter has no understanding of the context surrounding the "doctrine of infallibility." It involves a debate over the claims as to whether or not the papacy can be criticized by secular authorities on Earth. For her to use it unblinkingly as a condemnation of Democrats as godless shows a high level of ignorance. I wouldn't expect less from her.

It's obvious to me that if Jesus came back today and decided to vote, he'd vote Democrat. In fact, there'd be far more Republicans eager for his crucifixion than there would Dems. Many of them have a hard-on for death, and would consider JC the king of the pussies instead of the Jews this time around.
posted by bardic at 2:13 PM on June 10, 2006 [1 favorite]

Wonderful. Thanks Amberglow, I needed a laugh.

It reminds me of Neil Gaiman and/or Terry Pratchett. I read the Bob Satan bits in Graham Chapman's voice.
posted by mmahaffie at 2:19 PM on June 10, 2006

You're obsessed with them because you secretly LOVE them.
posted by HTuttle at 2:22 PM on June 10, 2006

Bardic -- Jesus wouldn't be voting for anybody. Jesus would be in Guantanamo.

(Can't remember who originally said this, and Google is a car-crash for those search terms)
posted by Hogshead at 2:50 PM on June 10, 2006

Jesus Christ: Wrong for America.
posted by EarBucket at 3:06 PM on June 10, 2006

Jesus would be in Guantanamo.

(Can't remember who originally said this, and Google is a car-crash for those search terms)

A one-car crash?
posted by scottreynen at 3:16 PM on June 10, 2006

He joins us from the Green Zone in Megiddo.

That's just damn clever.
posted by quin at 3:27 PM on June 10, 2006

I wonder what Christianity would have looked like if it hadn't fused with western culture.
posted by anotherbrick at 3:31 PM on June 10, 2006

I wonder what Christianity would have looked like if it hadn't fused with western culture.

We'd be at war with Mt. Olympus, probably, and making anti-Bacchus amendments.
posted by amberglow at 3:41 PM on June 10, 2006 [1 favorite]

At least Russert had Jesus and Mary on, if only to be shouted down by evil. They would never see the bright lights on Fox.

I don't think the Blessed Virgin or the Lord would be considered "Man enough" to be on the O' Reilly Factor.

Sean Hannity would call them "unhinged moon bats" and blame New Orleans on them. I can hear him asking for several weeks in a row, "Why didn't Jesus just walk on the water to and save the flooded school buses?"
posted by BillyElmore at 4:04 PM on June 10, 2006

"Doctrine of Infallibility"...is this a construct of her own mind or has she taken it from someone else?

I think she's adopted it as a variation of the "Doctrine of Papal Infallibility" - basically where because the Pope is God's voice on Earth, anything...ANYTHING he says cannot be wrong, and you go to hell for even suggesting it.

I'm not making this up: Roman Catholics really believe this shit. Or they're supposed to at least.
posted by slatternus at 6:14 PM on June 10, 2006

We'd be at war with Mt. Olympus, probably, and making anti-Bacchus amendments.
L - and I do not say such things lightly - OL.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:19 PM on June 10, 2006

Hate to rain on slatternus’ parade, but papal infallibility according to the First Vatican Council is actually restricted to when the Pope, speaking ex cathedra, “defines a doctrine concerning faith or morals to be held by the whole Church,” not whenever he opens his mouth. But anyway, HAW HAW CATHOLICS, carry on.
posted by letourneau at 8:11 PM on June 10, 2006

most amusing, amberglow - thanks!
posted by madamjujujive at 11:47 AM on June 11, 2006

If Jesus were alive today, he'd be eating microwaved sushi, naked, in the back of a limousine.
posted by analogue at 7:33 AM on June 12, 2006

You're obsessed with them because you secretly LOVE them.
posted by HTuttle at 4:22 PM CST on June 10 [+fave] [!]

Interesting, coming from the guy who obsessively posts about how dumb we all are.
posted by COBRA! at 8:12 AM on June 12, 2006

Amazon spotlights the General.
posted by homunculus at 10:18 PM on June 13, 2006

Interesting, coming from the guy who obsessively posts about how dumb we all are.

He's just trolling, as usual. It's not very interesting.
posted by homunculus at 10:20 PM on June 13, 2006

A Watershed Moment: Media Use Coulter to Suggest Blogs Are Impotent
posted by homunculus at 12:40 PM on June 15, 2006