January 11, 2001

2:44 PM

From our No Matter How It Reads The Article Can't Live Up To The Headline Dept. in beautiful downtown Janesville, MN comes the news that Michael Jackson to Speak on Family Values... The world, no doubt, waits with bated breath...
posted by m.polo (14 comments total)

(imagines Mr. Jackson)'The most important thing is to be yourself' (sorry)
posted by tiaka at 3:20 PM on January 11, 2001

See what you did, tiaka?

This was going to be a serious, and dignified thread, and now it's just going to degenerate into a bunch of cheap shots and pedophile jokes. I just wish you hadn't beat me to it.
posted by Optamystic at 3:32 PM on January 11, 2001

Hey, how could you make fun a guy with more plastic in his body than a jumbo jet that likes to hang out with 13 year-old boys and live with moneys?
posted by Bag Man at 3:46 PM on January 11, 2001

bated

Should I?

Well, I guess I better not.

"... in my home town."
posted by baylink at 3:56 PM on January 11, 2001

He lives with lots of moneys. He's rich.
posted by waxpancake at 4:14 PM on January 11, 2001

I thought his favorite pet was a Python.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 4:18 PM on January 11, 2001

There was the gag, used later by my friend in advertising for a large record company which was advertising Jackson record:
He grew up a poor, black boy and became a rich, white, woman
posted by Postroad at 4:36 PM on January 11, 2001

My favourite is.

Mrs Jackson : Shall we watch a video tonight honey?

Mr Jackson : Let's get Aladdin

Mrs Jackson : But I want to watch a video.

[works better if you say it out loud]
posted by fullerine at 5:20 PM on January 11, 2001

Courtesy of Shmuely Boteach, everyone's favourite media-whore rabbi, who got Diego Maradona to speak at the Union on Fair Play. I kid ye not.
posted by holgate at 5:34 PM on January 11, 2001

OT: (How'd you come up with "Janesville, MN", polo? Just curious.)
posted by dhartung at 1:19 AM on January 12, 2001

OT: (My best friend from grad school grew up there and he happens to find Le Jackson particularly amusing...)
posted by m.polo at 8:14 AM on January 12, 2001

BTW, Bucky: it *also* works better if you're a brit. :-)
posted by baylink at 1:04 PM on January 12, 2001

I wrote about this in my weblog, and I'm a child of the 80s and love Michael Jackson, but after two failed marriages I think he's the last person to talk about family values.

Maybe can talk about improving the lives of children, because of his organization but not family values.
posted by passionblack at 12:02 PM on January 13, 2001

He's arguably a living symbol of what growing up without a good family environment can (not will) do to a person.

His family's dealt with living it's life in the public eye, with sibling rivalries and with (with the supposed reunion of the Jackson 5) possible reconciliation.

Perhaps he can speak knowledgeably about family values.
posted by cCranium at 2:45 PM on January 13, 2001