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OMG hypoallergenic kitten!!!
June 12, 2006 6:21 PM   Subscribe

The all-new sneeze-free cat this week joins a distinguished roster of altered organisms, such as glowing green pigs and bunnies, ampicillin-resistant maize and tomato, and even a potato with a bacterial pesticide spliced in. And don't forget OraGenics, the company that wants to infect your teeth with bacteria that won't cause decay - and will crowd out the ones that do. Brave New World, indeed. What's next?
posted by ikkyu2 (47 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
What's next? A dog that doesn't poop?
posted by ikkyu2 at 6:21 PM on June 12, 2006


Quick, somebody clone Dr. Seuss back from the dead, he must be informed of this!
posted by wumpus at 6:30 PM on June 12, 2006


Hypoallergenic and crossbred with beer. Bonsai beer kitty.

posted by missbossy at 6:37 PM on June 12, 2006


and don't forget tomacco (although it wasn't gmo): http://www.snpp.com/news/tomacco.html
posted by wumpus at 6:40 PM on June 12, 2006


Allercats are nothing to sneeze at.
posted by Rumple at 6:46 PM on June 12, 2006


What possible benefit could antibiotic resistant grain and fruits confer? The advantages to Islamisists and Jews of greenish pigs is clear.. for that matter vegetarians will be chuffed, not only at greenish pigs but greenish rabbits as well. One would have to be inhuman not to celebrate. But fruit? Grain? It is getting worse not better.
posted by econous at 6:50 PM on June 12, 2006


Elongated Pennies
posted by edgeways at 6:52 PM on June 12, 2006


you forgot the Pork That's Good For You.
posted by Parannoyed at 7:06 PM on June 12, 2006


Omega-3 enhanced elongated pork! Now we're talking.
posted by missbossy at 7:10 PM on June 12, 2006


$4000.00 for a sneeze-free cat. what a bargain!
posted by brandz at 7:12 PM on June 12, 2006


Personally, I welcome our new clean-teethed, luminous-green glowing, allergy-free, omega-3-enhanced porcine overlords.

so sorry, had to be done
posted by Parannoyed at 7:18 PM on June 12, 2006


Why not? Mankind has been shaping the genetic makeup of selected animals for thousands of years through selective breeding.

Also: 5-6 years ago that I read an article by someone who had taken some type of harmless bacteria into their mouth to displace the bacteria that causes decay. They reported no cavities and a huge improvement in the health of their gums. I have never been able to find the article again. Does this ring a bell with anyone?
posted by LarryC at 7:19 PM on June 12, 2006


Without the allergens, these cats are able to suck five times as much breath from infants as regular cats.
posted by Joey Michaels at 7:29 PM on June 12, 2006


The site is sort of creepy and sterile.
posted by tastybrains at 7:40 PM on June 12, 2006


Were they a bit cheaper I might get one. I like cats, but am terribly allergic - my head just explodes around them if I'm not careful.

Eventually they'll become more common. After a couple escape and start breeding with strays all cats will be hypo-allergenic cats.
posted by aladfar at 7:43 PM on June 12, 2006


I thought you meant the cat wouldn't sneeze. I could have used one of those a few years ago - my upholstery still bears the traces of the late lamented mucus monster, Fred the Sneezy, feline sinus issue poster child extraordinaire.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:45 PM on June 12, 2006


Allerca, the cat br--uh, supplier, has apparently given up the idea of genetically modifying the cats except by conventional means for the time being, but if you don't have the $4000 and can put up with a bit of sniffling, you might want to try to lighten up a little.
posted by jamjam at 8:25 PM on June 12, 2006


I have to question the motives of these "scientists"
posted by Talez at 8:26 PM on June 12, 2006


According to their site, they used genetic mapping and selective breeding to bring about this cat, not transgenic like all your other examples. You are being quite disingenuous here. Keeping in mind that *all* of our food stuffs are products of thousands of years of selective breeding. While if can be argued that this is an 'alteration' in the context of the other examples you put up you are in fact, wrong.
posted by MrLint at 8:49 PM on June 12, 2006


LarryC, isn't that Oragenics, mentioned in the post?
posted by greatgefilte at 8:56 PM on June 12, 2006


Allerca initially announced a program to produce an allergy free cat by genetic engineering. Their site isn't exactly trumpeting the change of approach, MrLint. I certainly wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't already seen the New Scientist article a couple of days ago.
posted by jamjam at 9:05 PM on June 12, 2006


And yes,"you might want to try to lighten up a littlle."
posted by jamjam at 9:10 PM on June 12, 2006


As his hankie turned skanky and covered in snot, it
was blabbed through the lab that "Eureka!", he'd got it
The feline solution to all sneezers woes -
A kitten whose teases would lay off of the nose!

He took off his spectacles, laid them beside him
Prayed God undergraduates would not deride him
He grabbed a new kitten from the new kitten place
and rubbed young Miss Tinkles all over his face
Over eyeses and noses and under the chin
Then he placed young Miss Tinkles in the used kitty bin

He waited for seconds, for minutes, for hours
No sneezes erupted like meteor showers
His eyes didn't water, his nose didn't itch
"Young Miss Tinkles", he said, "I have made you my bitch"

They clapped and applauded and just wouldn't stop
Having done all math for four thousand a pop
they'd spend it on microscopes, stem cells and beer
And perhaps they'd get laid for the first time that year
And when the excitement had slightly eroded
The scientist reached for his specs...and imploded

The whole lab was hushed, not a sound or a breath
While the scientist went with his red, drippy death
See, he forgot conservation of energy laws
and a vaccum is something that nature abhors

They cleaned up the mess with some mops and some towels
Without even a word, without even some vowels
They one by one slowly departed the scene
Four thousand a pop had popped to not a bean
While in the used kitty bin something did stir
Saying something like "bitch, eh?" then licking its fur
posted by Sparx at 9:15 PM on June 12, 2006 [5 favorites]


From the development section, it states:

Although other genetic methods such as attempting to genetically modify the DNA of a cat may produce hypoallergenic cats, these procedures rely on nuclear transfer (cloning) and may result in associated known risks prevalent in cloned animals.

These cats are cloned? Where are they 'created', then?
posted by triolus at 9:50 PM on June 12, 2006


When my wife-to-be found out I was allergic to cats it was almost a deal killer. I ordered my frankenkitty the second I heard about them. I'm now number 258 on the waiting list.
posted by PaulWilliams at 9:51 PM on June 12, 2006


One of you must love the other very much.
posted by econous at 10:09 PM on June 12, 2006


These cats are cloned?

No, not at all. I think you missed the word 'other' in that sentence.
posted by Nice Donkey at 10:33 PM on June 12, 2006


Heh...I thought you meant that the cats don't sneeze...which is on my mind because my new kitty has been sneezing a lot.
posted by schmedeman at 10:38 PM on June 12, 2006


The OraGenics things is cool. Like so many things, it'd be especially helpful to the world's poor but they'll be the last to benefit.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 11:38 PM on June 12, 2006


Reminds of Freida's boneless cat form Peanuts.
posted by zoinks at 11:42 PM on June 12, 2006


So, at $4k a pop how do they prevent folks from breeding them? Are the cats sterile? Or do they plan on controlling the population through legal means? I can't seem to find this in their FAQ.
posted by moonbiter at 12:42 AM on June 13, 2006


"What's next?"

Not sure about next, but I'd think genetically engineered labradors that remain puppy sized would be a big seller.
posted by Auz at 4:13 AM on June 13, 2006


Some guy in the Midwest, is currently developing his "Mini-St. Bernard."

He's also made other new breeds, mainly by combining other breeds in the same fashion as the "Labradoodle."
posted by Atreides at 4:56 AM on June 13, 2006


So, at $4k a pop how do they prevent folks from breeding them? Are the cats sterile? Or do they plan on controlling the population through legal means? I can't seem to find this in their FAQ.

"Included in the total cost of your ALLERCA kitten are the following: An ALLERCA GD kitten at 12 weeks of age . . . Mandatory spaying or neutering."
posted by booksandlibretti at 5:30 AM on June 13, 2006


But you can still clone them yourself if you want.
posted by scarabic at 5:52 AM on June 13, 2006


why on earth would anyone WANT a green pig? What's the point???
posted by aacheson at 6:02 AM on June 13, 2006


I've always wondered why no one has thought to splice the gene for THC into something like coffee. Wouldn't that be wonderful?
posted by xmattxfx at 6:12 AM on June 13, 2006


Allergic to kitties? Why not try one of these...
posted by grapefruitmoon at 6:16 AM on June 13, 2006


If that cat isn't named Smeagol, it should be!
posted by deborah at 11:31 AM on June 13, 2006


Sparx, that's amazing.
posted by oats at 11:55 AM on June 13, 2006


aacheson: Have you never heard of Green Eggs and Ham?
posted by DesbaratsDays at 12:19 PM on June 13, 2006


I'm not sure about your teeth, but somewhere I saw a study where, people who have undergone certain antibiotic treatments have to watch out for infections of the digestive tract. Aparently after the hit your gut bacteria takes, it is no longer as effective at crowding out hostiles as it might normally be.

You forgot the vitamin A enhanced rice.

If you could retro-fit genetic modifications I could give you a whole list of them I wouldn't mind getting. Either of these for starters.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:16 PM on June 13, 2006


Allergic to kitties? Why not try one of these...

Since it is a protien in cat saliva that most of are allergic to, hairless cats reduce the spread of allergens but don't stop them.

What is the fucking point in having a pet cat that you can't pet and who can make you sick by taking a nap on your pillow.

If I hadn't learned to hate cats based on my allergies, I would buy one of the little buggers.
posted by Megafly at 4:51 PM on June 14, 2006


Sparx, you are a genius. You could do Dr. Seuss parodies as a business on the side ...
posted by nickp at 7:26 PM on June 14, 2006


Ah - fresh egoboo for the first genius to not be able to spell 'vacuum'. Cheers, nickp and oats.

But I was pretty pleased with it. Needs a little tweaking but it got me through the 4-5pm 'dead zone' at work admirably.
posted by Sparx at 9:19 PM on June 14, 2006


I've always wondered why no one has thought to splice the gene for THC into something like coffee. Wouldn't that be wonderful? -- xmattxfx

Yes. Yes, it would.
posted by dejah420 at 11:22 AM on June 15, 2006


[Megafly: Um. I was kidding. I just thought a picture of a hairless cat would be funny.]
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:35 PM on June 16, 2006


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