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Listen! ...you smell something?
June 13, 2006 8:39 PM   Subscribe

We've just replaced Bob's Folger's with 5000 micrograms of LSD. Let's see if he'll notice the difference. (Quicktime video. Not safe for the reasonably sane or unmedicated.)
posted by loquacious (166 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
Mmmm. A one-link post to a mediocre commercial.

Pepsi Brown, indeed.
posted by Dipsomaniac at 8:46 PM on June 13, 2006


I blame that idiocy on the Polyphonic Spree. The website is more interesting than the ad.
posted by ?! at 8:49 PM on June 13, 2006


Who is Bob Folger? And what of his did you replace? I think I'm missing something here.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:53 PM on June 13, 2006


Wow, thanks loquacious; It's so hard to find commercials to watch these days. Here i was wasting time that i could spend being marketed to.

Best of the web, indeed.

snarking aside, I dont think there is anything worth discussing about this commercial.
posted by Merik at 8:53 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Mmmm. A one-link post to a mediocre commercial.

Look, I warned you. You had plenty of time to go get really high so you could actually grasp the depth of the piece. It's not my fault you're square.

I blame that idiocy on the Polyphonic Spree.

That's the second time I've heard that, more or less. I think you're both probably right.
posted by loquacious at 8:55 PM on June 13, 2006 [2 favorites]


This commercial may just be deadly with repeat views. I predict it will not become a runaway success of viral marketing.
posted by mystyk at 8:56 PM on June 13, 2006


"You can sleep when you are dead."

Fucking creepy.

Nice link loq.
posted by eyeballkid at 8:59 PM on June 13, 2006


I don't like coffee.
posted by fatbobsmith at 8:59 PM on June 13, 2006


That was awesome and terrifying at the same time.
posted by kumazemi at 9:00 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Did I miss something or are all the morning singers honkeys?
posted by exogenous at 9:00 PM on June 13, 2006 [3 favorites]


That was pretty fucked up. I don't drink coffee and now I never will.
posted by dobbs at 9:02 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


I liked it. It says, "Marketing need not be tough. People want to buy your product anyway. It's coffee, and people like a cup of joe. So gently remind them by appealing to the part of them that wants to eat psychedelic mushrooms."
posted by ontic at 9:03 PM on June 13, 2006 [5 favorites]


I like how instead of just running the song as a soundtrack it took on the acoustic properties of being outside, heard from across a wall etc, as the scenes changed.
posted by sourwookie at 9:04 PM on June 13, 2006


Who is Bob Folger? And what of his did you replace? I think I'm missing something here.

In the 1980's there was a television advertising campaign which involved hidden cameras at upscale/gourmet restaurants in which Folger's Crystals (aka freeze-dried instant coffee) was presented to cutomers expecting fully-brewed, roasted-bean coffee. After tasting the coffee they were interviewed and asked how they liked the coffee. Those who enjoyed it were then surprised to learn that "they couldn't tell the difference" between Folger's Crystals and 'fresh brewed.'

"We've replaced their regular coffee with Folger's Crystals. Let's see if they notice!"
posted by ericb at 9:07 PM on June 13, 2006


Question for the 'experianced'? How is a mushroom trip similar (or dissimilar) from a LSD trip?
posted by delmoi at 9:08 PM on June 13, 2006


I don't like coffee.

If you like alcohol, maybe it's time to give it a try! ;)

Drinking Coffee Cuts Alcohol's Harmful Effects.
posted by ericb at 9:08 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Will alcohol make me see giant yellow singing oompa-loompas like coffee does?
posted by fatbobsmith at 9:10 PM on June 13, 2006


Those who enjoyed it were then surprised to learn that "they couldn't tell the difference" between Folger's Crystals and 'fresh brewed.'

Which was probably quite factual, considering most Americans didn't even really know what real coffee was until Starbuck's came along.

Well, I guess they still don't. But at least it's not so hard to find a decent cup nowadays.
posted by loquacious at 9:11 PM on June 13, 2006


Will alcohol make me see giant yellow singing oompa-loompas like coffee does?

No, just pink elephants.
posted by ericb at 9:12 PM on June 13, 2006


That is the funniest fucking commercial I've seen in years. "You can sleep when you're dead" is a popular saying, but I'm impressed they used it in a mainstream commercial. I also loved the fourth wall-ness of hearing the singers through walls and outside and so forth.

I don't even drink coffee but that cracked me up so much I wished I did. Excellent commercial, right up there with those "I feel Grrrrreat" breakfast bar spots.
posted by mathowie at 9:12 PM on June 13, 2006


Well, they say caffeine is a powerfully psycho-active drug. That was seriously fucked up, though.
posted by delmoi at 9:12 PM on June 13, 2006


Your favorite coffee SUCKS!!!
posted by papakwanz at 9:12 PM on June 13, 2006


Excellent commercial, right up there with those "I feel Grrrrreat" breakfast bar spots.

BABIES!! BABIES EVERYWHERE!!
posted by loquacious at 9:15 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Oh my goodness. That was great - I was sitting here doing research to run a Cthulu game, and that just surpassed anything I could cook up in the way of creepiness. And made me want coffee.
posted by freebird at 9:17 PM on June 13, 2006


This is no King...
posted by thanatogenous at 9:17 PM on June 13, 2006


I wish they'd put those JOIN THE COFFEE ACHIEVERS ads back on instead.
posted by xil at 9:20 PM on June 13, 2006


It's so hard to find commercials to watch these days. Here i was wasting time that i could spend being marketed to.

If you're so weak that a well-produced, thirty-second-to-a-minute-or-so-spiel for a a product that you probably weren't buying anyway is going to make you rush out to the store shouting, "I want some! I want some! I want some! Gimmie! Gimmie! Gimmie!" well then, that's you're own fucking fault. Buy a Tivo, talk to the person sitting next to you on the couch for a bit, or just space out for a few seconds if commercials offend you so much. You don't have to watch them. Ever.
posted by Cyrano at 9:21 PM on June 13, 2006


i've never had a cup of coffee.
posted by sexyrobot at 9:22 PM on June 13, 2006


Holy crap... I was hoping one of the zombies was going to gives a beat down to the LSD choir.
posted by MrLint at 9:23 PM on June 13, 2006


Metafilter: Replaced with 5000 Micrograms of LSD.
posted by phylum sinter at 9:25 PM on June 13, 2006 [2 favorites]


Excellent commercial, right up there with those "I feel Grrrrreat" breakfast bar spots.

Sorry, no it's not. This commercial sucks. This is an excellent opportunity to link to that nutrigrain commercial though.
posted by puke & cry at 9:28 PM on June 13, 2006 [3 favorites]


Well, I laughed. Partly because it's creepy as hell. Still ain't buying no Folgers, though.

And am I the only one who was totally rooting for the last guy to throw his hot java at the sun zombies ala Spicoli?
posted by Opposite George at 9:29 PM on June 13, 2006


"...the efficiency of the rocket launcher team was also very impaired."
posted by trinarian at 9:33 PM on June 13, 2006 [2 favorites]


What's a Spicoli?
posted by puke & cry at 9:40 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Don't blame the Spree. I swear there's a whole subgenre of commercials that make the effects of whatever product they're hocking look like psychedelics.
posted by muckster at 9:42 PM on June 13, 2006


Okay, that was entirely traumatizing. Now I'm deathly afraid to wake up tomorrow.

Has this actually aired? On actual TV?
posted by CunningLinguist at 9:43 PM on June 13, 2006


you know, for the kids! (who grew up watching teletubbies :)
posted by kliuless at 9:43 PM on June 13, 2006


yeah, I saw the new Sprite advert at the movies the other day, and it resembled the final time I dropped acid to such an unpleasant degree that I turned to my bf and said, "jesus, I'm never drinking that shit again."
posted by scody at 9:45 PM on June 13, 2006 [2 favorites]


they're thinking
posted by kliuless at 9:45 PM on June 13, 2006


That was fucking awesome; people who don't like single link posts to things that are fucking awesome can choke on a bucket of cocks.

Also fucking awesome: this unbelievably surreal commercial for Skittles.
posted by jonson at 9:47 PM on June 13, 2006 [2 favorites]


A morning like that, I'd be a-yearnin' for a gun, a bfg. Mornings are not to be cheerful.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:48 PM on June 13, 2006


Holy shit. This was a trip and a half. To quote a friend, "Jesus, there are BUGS coming out of his mouth!"

Thanks, loq. Time to go scratch the insects out from underneath my skin.
posted by Mikey-San at 9:50 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


delmoi: Question for the 'experianced'? How is a mushroom trip similar (or dissimilar) from a LSD trip?

Shrooms are like acid-lite.
posted by daksya at 9:51 PM on June 13, 2006


And I say this as the guy who originally linked the Nutrigrain commercial that mathowie refers to (and the puke & cry re-linked) two & a half years ago. Seriously, a bucket of cocks for Dipsomaniac & Merik.
posted by jonson at 9:51 PM on June 13, 2006


Oh fuck. I knew it was going to be that stupid beard commercial. I swear there is one ad agency for all consumer products that just makes the weirdest commericals possible whether or not they have anything to do with the product. Wtf does that ad have to do with skittles? But hey, it's wacky!
posted by puke & cry at 9:51 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Delmoi, in my experience it is mainly just a difference in hours: 4 versus 12. Although of course there are tons of differences really, but in the long run it mainly comes down to "when can I drive again?"
posted by hermitosis at 9:52 PM on June 13, 2006


I'm rather ashamed to admit that I actually enjoyed that commercial. Though I do agree with exogenous that the racial thing is a bit odd . . .
posted by treepour at 9:52 PM on June 13, 2006


That was a big hot cup of hilarity! I wish all commercials could be that great. Funniest link in a long time.
posted by Blingo at 9:53 PM on June 13, 2006


That's just wrong.
posted by Skygazer at 9:59 PM on June 13, 2006



posted by brownpau at 10:02 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Sweet zombie Jesus.
posted by geekhorde at 10:04 PM on June 13, 2006


Shrooms are NOT acid lite.

Apples and oranges. Melting oranges. And shiny apples with self-organizing patterns of color.

Or something.
posted by geekhorde at 10:07 PM on June 13, 2006


I feel violated.
posted by Skygazer at 10:07 PM on June 13, 2006


p&c: Sentient Beard Guy shares his Skittles with the woman. "Skittles: Share the rainbow. Taste the rainbow."

Also, we're talking about the ad, so the ad is effective.
posted by emelenjr at 10:10 PM on June 13, 2006


puke & cry, you just don't like abstract hilarity. The beard reaches up, feeds the woman & caresses her cheek, it's a sublime moment, and one that a major corporation like Mars Candy should be encouraged to embrace. Do you really long for more straightforward, "Eat this candy because it's better tasting than other candy" commercials?
posted by jonson at 10:10 PM on June 13, 2006


blue falcon? warning/recommendation: hideous/gorgeous angelfire site
posted by Hat Maui at 10:11 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Hmm.. Shitty commercial for shitty coffee..
You can sleep when you're dead. How very american.
posted by c13 at 10:12 PM on June 13, 2006


geekhorde: Shrooms are NOT acid lite

Let's chalk it off to different brain chemistries. Which basically makes delmoi the only one who can supply the answer to his own question.
posted by daksya at 10:13 PM on June 13, 2006


[i]Sorry, no it's not. This commercial sucks. This is an excellent opportunity to link to that nutrigrain commercial though.[/i]

That was a first for me, thanks for the link Puke & Cry.

Unfortunately I don't have a QuickTime plug-in so I can't view the ad from the original post.
posted by rob paxon at 10:15 PM on June 13, 2006


Grr, forgot about that.
posted by rob paxon at 10:15 PM on June 13, 2006


synthetic serendipity
posted by kliuless at 10:16 PM on June 13, 2006


Wow, that was ... bizarre.

I can't say that I'm unhappy about this turn of advertising, but it sure is bizarre. ........ And I think it worked. ..... This seems about ten times weirded to me because in the past week I've read an uncountable number of pages of very well-written and poignant social & media criticism, which has gotten me very weird about everything (I saw the word 'Art', by itself, as a single line at the top of a header/title for a magazine article today, to declare the topic of the article, and was thinking about it for the next ten minutes) ... but this, this is just bizarre.

Yeah, I think I like it. I think.
posted by blacklite at 10:16 PM on June 13, 2006


Drinking Coffee Cuts Alcohol's Harmful Effects.

Now there is some research I can really get behind. As soon as "fried foods keep you svelte and trim," "cigarettes make you happy and healthy," and "drinking to excess[1] keeps your immune system on its toes, rough and ready for anything!" come out, I'll be all set.

1. An oxymoron, I realize.
posted by IshmaelGraves at 10:18 PM on June 13, 2006


I keep forgetting — are those Eloi or Morlocks?
posted by rob511 at 10:19 PM on June 13, 2006


the most bizarre thing about this is all of those bright and happy coffee demons have the last name of olson

man ... that old girl was busy!
posted by pyramid termite at 10:20 PM on June 13, 2006


What's a Spicoli?

Seriously? In the event you don't get the reference ...

Sean Penn played the stoned, surfer dude in the 1982 film 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' -- a cult classic.
posted by ericb at 10:23 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


rob511, those were Eloi. Morlocks shun daylight.
posted by jonson at 10:25 PM on June 13, 2006


*Sean Penn played the stoned, surfer dude* -- named Jeff Spicoli.
posted by ericb at 10:31 PM on June 13, 2006


It was a fun ad, but by the time I finished reading everyone's comments, I forgot what brand of coffee it was for.

If I can't remember the brand, the ad has failed. Too bad!!
posted by seawallrunner at 10:36 PM on June 13, 2006


jonson: thanks, but it was meant to be a rhetorical snarkastic q.
posted by rob511 at 10:36 PM on June 13, 2006


i vote yes.

yeah, the advertisement part of it was lame. but i think we are mature enough to watch a really funny commercial and still be able to resist running out to buy foldgers.
posted by ackeber at 10:42 PM on June 13, 2006


I thought that this was genuinely cool and bizarre. The fact that someone is paying for me to see it only makes it cooler, for some reason.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:42 PM on June 13, 2006


Sean Penn played the stoned, surfer dude in the 1982 film 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High' -- a cult classic.

Hm, never saw that one. I guess he threw coffee in someones face?
posted by puke & cry at 10:53 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


I like the commercial better on the Folger's toleratemornings.com site, on the 1970's TV set.
posted by nickyskye at 10:56 PM on June 13, 2006



What's a Spicoli?

I feel old. As others have said, it's a Fast Times reference.

And dumb. Now that I think about it, it was Judge Reinhold's character who threw the coffee in the guys face. The memory is the first thing to go, I hear.

(But in my defense, Spicoli was impressed.)
posted by Opposite George at 11:04 PM on June 13, 2006


5,000 mikes? That would kill you, unless you are Jerry Garcia, in whom it might just have induced a Perma-Buzz (TM).
posted by caddis at 11:08 PM on June 13, 2006


No disrespect, but I'd have thought the Folger family would have had enough of people who'd taken too many psychotropics.
posted by bunglin jones at 11:13 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


Delmoi - in my experience there's, as Hermitosis said, a time difference. I've always found mushrooms to be more mellow, but I've only ever taken a few at a time. I've also found mushrooms had a physical effect that acid didn't; I always experienced some discomfort in my stomach about 30 minutes after eating them. Mushrooms gave me much the most pleasant, and the least unpleasant experiences, since I had several bad acid trips. I haven't taken either for years, nor would I again, but it was interesting at the time!
posted by kumonoi at 11:22 PM on June 13, 2006


Er, people have snorted pure LSD and lived (after going into a coma) It took several grams to kill an elephant, and no one has ever actually died from LSD, as far as I know.
posted by delmoi at 11:28 PM on June 13, 2006


delmoi - no one has ever actually died from LSD, as far as I know.

Except for that guy who snorted 320 mg of acid, thinking it was speed.
posted by daksya at 11:31 PM on June 13, 2006


5,000 mikes? That would kill you, unless you are Jerry Garcia, in whom it might just have induced a Perma-Buzz (TM).

Pfft. Tourist.

Except for that guy who snorted 320 mg of acid, thinking it was speed.


Holy fucking shit. Well-seasoned astronaut. Marinated. Tenderized, even.
posted by loquacious at 11:39 PM on June 13, 2006


And this is still making me giggle. Thanks brownpau.
posted by loquacious at 11:44 PM on June 13, 2006


I kept waiting for something weird to happen.

Doesn't everybody experience their first cup of coffee that way?
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 11:44 PM on June 13, 2006 [1 favorite]


bunglin jones, Wow, I had no idea what a kind and good person Abigail Folger was. Thanks for the link to her story and tragic death by Manson psychos. But I don't think it was the psychotropics that killed Abigail, it was a psychopath and his psycho devotees.
posted by nickyskye at 11:49 PM on June 13, 2006


Um...I was reading the thread about hadji girl, then watched this. Why didn't that man take out a machine gun and shoot them all?

Happy Morning? Before coffee? I don't think so! There's a reason why I get up at 4am. I like Peace and Quiet (TM) with strong coffee.
posted by Goofyy at 12:00 AM on June 14, 2006


I'm with geekhorde. Shrooms are like vines crawling out of the walls, sucking you into the netherworld. Acid is like nanobots picking your brain apart axon by axon until you're an interferometer the size of the planet. If there's a dimensionality to tripping, they are orthogonal.

Or something.
posted by bjrubble at 12:01 AM on June 14, 2006


Can I join in the yeah-what-i-really-need-from-metafilter-is-more-commercials-even-if-no-especially-if-the-creative-behind-it-may-god-can-it-be-true-may-have-actually-taken-drugs chorus?
posted by criticalbill at 12:10 AM on June 14, 2006


No. They're full up on sopranos.
posted by loquacious at 12:13 AM on June 14, 2006


although having said that a couple of years ago here in the UK I saw a Toyota ad that seemed to be have made by some afficiandos of some very strong LSD/MDMA combo. I saw it once and then never again. If anyone could link to that I would be a lot less snotty about it.
posted by criticalbill at 12:15 AM on June 14, 2006


Question for the 'experianced'? How is a mushroom trip similar (or dissimilar) from a LSD trip?

Put on your ruby slippers and repeat after me: There's no place like lycaeum.org . . .
posted by treepour at 12:19 AM on June 14, 2006


Can I join in the yeah-what-i-really-need-from-metafilter-is-more-commercials-even-if-no-especially-if-the-creative-behind-it-may-god-can-it-be-true-may-have-actually-taken-drugs chorus?

Dude, are you being sarcastic?
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:20 AM on June 14, 2006


those are dancing photons! THIS IS SCIENCE!
posted by carsonb at 12:20 AM on June 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


If those are photons I don't want them bombarding my body and eyeballs any more. There's only one thing to do. We must destroy the Sun once and for all with SCIENCE.
posted by loquacious at 12:27 AM on June 14, 2006


people have snorted pure LSD and lived (after going into a coma) It took several grams to kill an elephant

Please tell me where I can learn more about the elephant. Please.
posted by MinPin at 12:52 AM on June 14, 2006


Two things:

If they showed up in my neighbourhood, singing at this godsawful early morning hour I'd strangle as many of them as possible, coffee or no.

Also, the concept seems a little rip-offish; anyone remember Martians Go Home? Wacky colored people show up that possess super powers, walk through walls and seemingly have nothing else to do but annoy earthlings?
posted by PontifexPrimus at 1:31 AM on June 14, 2006


'elephant' + 'LSD' x Google = ee-ook!
posted by MinPin at 1:41 AM on June 14, 2006


Ceiling Twats!


posted by Joeforking at 1:42 AM on June 14, 2006


Now I understand why Americans want to have assault rifles on hand. The simple possibility of something like this happening in real life necessitates the need of a well-armed populace.

This is not how I wanted to start my morning.
posted by slimepuppy at 1:50 AM on June 14, 2006


I saw this post on the Blue while at work, and didn't even bother to watch the video or read the comment thread. It was the subtly ironic MeTa thread that brought me here and made me curious enough to watch the video.

Now, I don't mean to snark. I mean to profer my honest opinion. And that is that the video sucks by virtue of being unique and, in it's own insipid way, good.

Number 1 enjoys the video because it is "downright daring for a corporate client". It is. And for that reason it's good. But all advertisements are, by virtue of their purpose, abhorrent to me for the simple fact that they are trying to market a product to me and the rest of society. That dosen't mean I can't enjoy an advertisment when it is more than simply a few seconds of screaming prices at you for products and telling you where you can get them. But it is infact the more creative advertisments, the ones which embed themselves in your brain to the point where you find yourself humming their tunes while on the train on your way to work, that are truly insidious. This is ironic because they do this because they are good. By sticking with you and being creative their impact lasts longer and they generate more dicsussion about the product they are selling and, ultimately, they sell more product.

I don't object to the principle of marketing as a sole means of getting people to buy products. Marketing is the unfortunate, necessary by-product of living in and maintaining a capatalist society. I do object to the whoring out of talented, creative people and their art to the profiteering ways of big business (or at times, even small to medium business).

As such, I generally try to ignore advertisments. I'll buy products that I want, which I know are good, and which suit my needs. But I'm getting off point. I'm trying to say what I think of the video itself.

Mathowie suggests that this sort of video is the sort of thing he created Metafilter to showcase, and more power to him, but as Merick said way up thread, all this video does, in spite of it's creativeness, is market a product to me. It makes it harder for me to avoid marketing material. But ironically, I probably wouldn't have ever seen it if this thread and indeed the advertisment itself hadn't created enough of a storm to spawn a MeTa thread which drew me here. The advertisment worked. It embedded itself, it created discussion, and one more person has seen an ad for a product that was slickly marketed.

I don't drink coffee, and I won't start now. But people who do drink coffee and read Metafilter will maybe consider buying this brand of coffee now. You could argue that's their choice. But is it? Has the ad affected their choice? If so, it is debatable as to how much independant thought they truly exerted in making that otherwise free choice.

Anyway, again, I am ranting. I'll try to conclude and be brief about it. The advertisment; it is good because it is unique. But it is it's very goodness that makes me hate it.
posted by Effigy2000 at 2:00 AM on June 14, 2006 [1 favorite]


I liked it. I will now watch it every morning.
posted by vertriebskonzept at 2:23 AM on June 14, 2006


I do object to the whoring out of talented, creative people and their art to the profiteering ways of big business (or at times, even small to medium business).

If it makes you feel better, you could take some comfort in the fact that advertising money allows society to support a bigger community of creative people than would otherwise be possible. Talented people can get experience and develop technical skills making TV commercials and move on to worthier projects later - or get work in advertising to keep themselves going in dry periods. It's not an either/or proposition.

FWIW I thought the ad was kind of fun and worth the time it took to watch it.
posted by teleskiving at 3:07 AM on June 14, 2006


But people who do drink coffee and read Metafilter will maybe consider buying this brand of coffee now.

Are you kidding me? Folgers is like the non-alcoholic beer of the coffee world. It tastes like brewed walnut husks left to go rancid and tepid for three weeks. No matter how much you put in the basket it still looks like stale, weak tea.

Folgers is the hideously bad coffee found in threadbare, tired old percolators at church social functions or school teacher's lounges. It's the bane of sad workplace breakrooms from Redding to Albany. The very dregs of truck stops and dodgy no-name service stations all across America.

No amount of heavily ladled, pseudo-psychedelic gimrackery is going to change that image.

Even the French - who know shit about coffee - turn their noses up at it.

As a mostly on-again, sometimes off-again coffee addict and fanatic for good, real coffee from Turkish to Italian, I can honestly say I'd rather drink freeze-dried instant. I'd rather drink my own piss.

Anyone swayed by that advertisement deserves what they get. Anyone else forced to purchase it to stretch their hard earned pennies will already know what they're in for.
posted by loquacious at 3:38 AM on June 14, 2006 [2 favorites]


I wouldn't have watched this if not for the MeTa thread... but WHAT. THE. FUCK. FOLGERS?? I think my brain is broken.
posted by antifuse at 3:44 AM on June 14, 2006


A ha ha ha ha ha.
More coffee over here, Miss!
posted by NinjaTadpole at 4:02 AM on June 14, 2006


Wow -- the negative impact on sales that this would have in the UK is unimaginable.
posted by catchmurray at 4:04 AM on June 14, 2006


if this happened to me:

a) i would proceed to slaughter all of the happy people (real or not)

b) not drink folger's cuz that is by far the most useless, foul tasting coffee on earth.

give me real jamaican beans, damnit!!!
posted by Doorstop at 4:39 AM on June 14, 2006


omg happiness pie.
posted by unknowncommand at 5:14 AM on June 14, 2006


delmoi: shrooms vs lsd -- i think everyone will tell you something different aside from the fact that shrooms only last 5 hours at the most and LSD lasts 8-10 or longer. Though I did notice some qualitative differences between the two, myself-- largely that shrooms felt more comfortable and safe and lsd felt a little wilder and more manic.
posted by empath at 5:43 AM on June 14, 2006


loquacious: Are you kidding me? Folgers is like the non-alcoholic beer of the coffee world.

There's a red plastic canister at the back of my counter with a Folgers label on it.

It's full of Eight O'Clock.

So, Folgers is good for something: They have good "cans."

(I know, not much of an improvement to some people, but I like American Medium Roast a la Dunkin' Donuts, and that's pretty much Eight O'Clock all over.)

As for all you folks hatin' on it for being a commercial (not including Effigy, since that was actually a thoughtful explanation): Lighten up. Creatives take jobs in advertising because it's the only way they can make a decent living being creative. Chances are most of the people who rag on advertisign creative would take a job in advertising if they could get one. If you hate advertising, you should love ads like this -- which will probably have zero initial conversion impact (and thus waste ad budgets), even as lots of people get mind-bent watching them.
posted by lodurr at 5:43 AM on June 14, 2006


A short film from the same director:

The French Doors
posted by empath at 6:03 AM on June 14, 2006


But people who do drink coffee and read Metafilter will maybe consider buying this brand of coffee now.


That's completely moronic. Everyone knows those "flavor crystals" aren't even coffee but some kind of mineralized turds.
If you want to keep yourself pure and unsullied by any marketing at all, I suggest packing yourself off to a desert island. Advertising is the dominant art form of the last (and probably this) century and can be approached as such. The idea that we are all going to run out and buy Folger's dreck now that our pure little brains have been corrupted is patent nonsense.
posted by CunningLinguist at 6:03 AM on June 14, 2006


Dear Advertisers,

Please keep making with the weird. But don't expect me buy poor grade pre-ground canned coffee. Not when there's so much good coffee in the world.

Thanks,

Songdog
posted by Songdog at 6:14 AM on June 14, 2006


sips coffee. polishes his rifle while scanning the horizon. sips coffee.

I'm glad I've already experienced the horror of Folgers because, after seeing this, I might be oddly compelled to listen to the little yellow people with bad haircuts who are encouraging me to purchase some.
posted by Fezboy! at 6:29 AM on June 14, 2006


So that's where Timothy Treadwell went after the grizzly ate him.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:29 AM on June 14, 2006


Folgers is like the non-alcoholic beer of the coffee world. It tastes like brewed walnut husks left to go rancid and tepid for three weeks. No matter how much you put in the basket it still looks like stale, weak tea.

Folgers is the hideously bad coffee found in threadbare, tired old percolators at church social functions or school teacher's lounges. It's the bane of sad workplace breakrooms from Redding to Albany. The very dregs of truck stops and dodgy no-name service stations all across America.

No amount of heavily ladled, pseudo-psychedelic gimrackery is going to change that image.


Ah, but with the right sugar cube in the cup, all is changed.
posted by caddis at 6:48 AM on June 14, 2006


So that's where Timothy Treadwell went after the grizzly ate him..

OMG: Totally.
posted by everichon at 7:09 AM on June 14, 2006


This Coffee. Is it something you'd need to own a television to understand?

loved it, thanks
posted by grahamwell at 7:12 AM on June 14, 2006


This is a great thread. One part whacky commercials - which, fuck you, are short stories and can be enjoyed for their story telling even though there is a godamn product involved. At least they're trying to evolve -- no one's going to watch commercials in a PVR/digital landscape unless there's a story worth watching. Anyhoo... one part that, and one part drug/pop culture discussion.

Just wanted to pipe in to say that, and I would love to know if this ad ever does really air in any major sense. It's an interesting step for Saatchi & Saatchi, it makes me think they really are feeling threatened by the "absurdist/hipster" type memes that Crispin Porter + Bogusky has been so godamned successful with -- the King, the 'VEE DUB' VW campaigns, etc. I like to see old campaigns killed and new campaigns started up that might actually connect with an audience.

The "Nutrigrain" commercial, I feel obliged to point out, was NOT ORIGINATED by the makers of Nutrigrain. It was just that dude trying to make a calling card to get some gigs. Having said that, it's awesome. BABIES EVERYWHEREEE...
posted by cavalier at 7:18 AM on June 14, 2006


Metafilter: choke on a bucket of cocks.
posted by jennaratrix at 7:19 AM on June 14, 2006 [2 favorites]


I would like to suggest that those that didn't see the humor in that commercial, or didn't appreciate the creative energy there, need to loosen up their sphincters a bit...

good lord, people, get out from in front of the monitor and have some fun..

and, for the folger haters... we're impressed... now run off to find a gourmet coffee shop and leave us alone!
posted by HuronBob at 7:34 AM on June 14, 2006


I watched it and thought: Meh.

Not that out there. At all. School bus full of ululating penguins exuding crystalline algorithmic goo, then I'm buying some god damned coffee.
posted by Freen at 7:59 AM on June 14, 2006


> didn't see the humor

if that's humour, then I need some serious drugs.
posted by catchmurray at 8:03 AM on June 14, 2006


You can sleep when you're dead. How very american.
Thank Warren Zevon for that. When he wakes up.
posted by hal9k at 8:14 AM on June 14, 2006


121 comments? holy crap.

i'm afraid i'm in the hater category. Altho, i did find the commercial entertaining. Until the end when i saw who was advertising. It had the same effect as those viral videos- like the old lady and the airbag- its real funny until you find out it's an ad for Target or whatever. Then you feel hornswaggled.

And is that really the polyphonic spree singing? If so, that's one more reason for me not to like them.

And yes, i'll stick to my gourmet coffee, thank you.
posted by TechnoLustLuddite at 8:15 AM on June 14, 2006


Holy crap... I was hoping one of the zombies was going to gives a beat down to the LSD choir.

posted by MrLint at 9:23 PM


That's got to be a comment I never thought I'd read, even in Sheckley. But it's the best comment I've seen on the Internets in weeks!

RE, the commercial:

Color me annoyed (I'm not a morning person)...

...and yet somewhat entertained (at the novelty of the ad)...

...but don't count on me to buy their product, though (I hate Folgers).
posted by darkstar at 8:31 AM on June 14, 2006


I love love love coffee, although this particular brand doesn't really do it for me. I'd really never even consider buying their coffee, no matter how cool their marketing is. But I love this commercial. This is incredible. Great link. Thank you.
posted by puddles at 8:41 AM on June 14, 2006


Now if the zombies did give a beat down I would have celebrated the commercial as being good - and I'm a pacifist and everything. But still, a smackdown was in order, and they missed the chance to be funny and ironic by doing it. Typical lame American advertising agencies.

lovely comments throughout the thread though. MetaFilter is my daily dose of snark - I use that in the mornings, not craptacular Folgers coffee.
posted by rmm at 9:26 AM on June 14, 2006


I've watched it about three times this morning, and each time I find it more and more humorous. I don't drink coffee either.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:39 AM on June 14, 2006


I'm impressed at the number of people who seem to have completely missed the point of the commercial: i.e., you are supposed to find these guys unbelievably annoying, you're supposed to find them creepy and be thinking "where's my fucking gun" etc. etc. The point of the ad isn't that coffee makes you feel like these guys, it's that it makes you at least able to tolerate other people's stupid morning cheerfulness even though you feel like the walking dead.

That's why they're all white--we are meant to see them as hopelessly uncool and whitebread. White people have the market cornered for inanely chipper dorkiness.

As for the "marketing" issue--a goodly portion of the great art in the western tradition is "marketing" for the Catholic church (no, not by some weird twisted analogy, but quite literally: "let's hire that Michaelangelo Merisi guy to really wow them with the power of the Catholic Church..."). The idea that art is only valid ("authentic") if it emerges solely from some inner vision of the artist is a Romantic notion that would have been incomprehensible to most people before the late eighteenth century.

That's not to say that this is great art--but it is to say that we can appreciate it for its great inventiveness and sly humor without getting our panties in a bunch about being "marketed" to.
posted by yoink at 9:39 AM on June 14, 2006


delmoi: "Er, people have snorted pure LSD and lived (after going into a coma) It took several grams to kill an elephant, and no one has ever actually died from LSD, as far as I know."

Er, no. See the account of LSD toxicity in Fysh et al., "A Fatal Poisoning with LSD," in Forensic Science Science International 28 (1985).

And while I know it's *possible* to snort "pure" LSD in tartrate form, experienced psychonauts know that blotter, gel, or liquid are the ways it's typically ingested.
posted by vitia at 9:55 AM on June 14, 2006


After that cup of coffee....pitches a no hitter.
posted by hortense at 9:57 AM on June 14, 2006


What yoink said! (And really, folks, don't take yourselves so freakin' serious!!!)
posted by birdhaus at 9:59 AM on June 14, 2006


I found the commercial fucking hilarious.

I wouldn't even have noticed it was a Folger's commercial if everybody wasn't talking about the brand.
posted by Penks at 10:11 AM on June 14, 2006


Amen yoink. The yellow people look a little like Ooompa Loompas, and what I mean by that is 'disturbing'. This is pretty brilliant marketing. Previous to this Folger's image was stuffy and middle aged--they're obviously thinking they'll try to snatch up the young impressionable klever kids with irony, oddness and the *new* psychedelia. Notice the 'partied hard' reference. You know, for the kids. That being said, I try not to buy anything based on the ads.
posted by tula at 10:16 AM on June 14, 2006


yoink,
Word to the C8H10N4O2. A choir of "morning people?" Truly a nightmare that only brown, life-giving fluid can waken one from.

And yeah, some people really need to lighten up. Lollipops and puppies all around - on me!
posted by Opposite George at 10:31 AM on June 14, 2006


They are fiddling as America burns.
posted by chance at 11:22 AM on June 14, 2006


Lollipops and puppies all around - on me!

Opposite George has apparently found his way to the chill-out room.
posted by danblaker at 11:28 AM on June 14, 2006


According to Saatchi & Saatchi, the agency responsible for this creepy tripe, they believe "the future belongs to brands that achieve potent and meaningful connections with consumers." The future they invision is obviously a world where the pharmaceutical companies have rendered the entire population via chemical lobotomy.
posted by chance at 11:40 AM on June 14, 2006


... where the pharmaceutical companies have rendered the entire population via chemical lobotomy.

... because at Saatchi, they just know that those pharmas are hell-bent on melting all the fat out of our bodies ("chemically!"), presumably for sale to overseas soap manufacturers....
posted by lodurr at 11:52 AM on June 14, 2006


That's it, I have to get this in MP3 format and use it as my alarm.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 12:42 PM on June 14, 2006


Hey, I liked it. I'm not even going to look at the last 139 comments!
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 12:54 PM on June 14, 2006


The "Nutrigrain" commercial, I feel obliged to point out, was NOT ORIGINATED by the makers of Nutrigrain. It was just that dude trying to make a calling card to get some gigs.

I could have sworn I saw it (or a cut down version of it) on TV at some point.
posted by delmoi at 1:29 PM on June 14, 2006


And while I know it's *possible* to snort "pure" LSD in tartrate form, experienced psychonauts know that blotter, gel, or liquid are the ways it's typically ingested.

I didn't say it wasn't an usual way to do it, just that I'd heard (or read somewhere) that it happened and the people who did it whent into a coma.

According to this:

"For those concerned about immediate medical hazards in ingesting LSD...Abram Hoffer has estimated, on the basis of animal studies, that the half-lethal human dose--meaning half would die--would be about 14,000 [ug]. But one person who took 40,000 ug survived. In the only case of death reportedly caused by overdose (Journal of the Kentucky Medical Association), the quantity of LSD in the blood indicated that 320,000 ug had been injected intravenously."

posted by delmoi at 1:33 PM on June 14, 2006


I liked it, too, once I got the idea that these horrifying morning creatures were supposed to be obnoxious. Like Yoink said. The tagline "Tolerate Mornings" is exactly what I'd expect from a campaign like this.
posted by wanderingmind at 1:38 PM on June 14, 2006


Those yellow people are what the outdoors feels like to me every day when I walk out of the house. This is a great commercial.
However, if all I had to look forward to was Folger's to wake me up, I would cry. I wouldn't wish that swill on my worst enemy.
posted by ruby.aftermath at 1:53 PM on June 14, 2006


delmoi - "the quantity of LSD in the blood indicated that 320,000 ug had been injected intravenously."

Actually, no. What the paper says: Utilizing these data for means of general comparison as tissue level studies in humans have not been reported-the subject of this report would have received an LSD dose equivalent to 320 mgm, I.V., or 23 times the previously calculated lethal human dose.
posted by daksya at 1:55 PM on June 14, 2006


I don't like coffee.

Folgers is NOT coffee. It can't even pass as bong water.
posted by a3matrix at 2:45 PM on June 14, 2006


Folgers is to coffee as Tang is to orange juice.
posted by spock at 3:35 PM on June 14, 2006


The future they invision is obviously a world where the pharmaceutical companies have rendered the entire population via chemical lobotomy.

No, the future they envision is one where others will have lobotomized the population, but you'll at least be able to tolerate it because you have your coffee. Actually, given the extreme seriousness of your response to a rather goofy and charming ad, maybe a coffee would be in order.

Not necessarily Folger's though.
posted by yoink at 4:09 PM on June 14, 2006


I kept waiting for the epilogue to this commercial... y'know the one with the buzzing of chainsaws and the booms of shotguns mixed with unyielding screams whilst yellow limbs and blonde heads covered in very red blood fly in and out of frame... and then a man weilding a chainsaw comes into view mumbling over and over "sleep when you are dead... sleep when you are dead..."

Now THAT'S a happy morning...
posted by WhipSmart at 4:14 PM on June 14, 2006


Oh, by the way. I don't drink Folger's myself, so I have no personal opinion as to the quality of their coffee. But with so many people saying how awful it is, I went and looked to see if I could find some blind tasting reviews of different coffees. The only reputable one I could find was Consumer Reports. They're a subscription site, so I won't give the link, but if you subscribe, I recommend looking at their coffee ratings--they're quite a trip. Most of you will probably say "clearly their experts don't know what they're talking about." That's possible. It's also possible that if you did a blind tasting yourself, you find that what you "know" you like and what you "actually" like are rather different things.

Anyway, suffice it to say that one brand of Folgers coffee comes in number five on their list (beating out far more "reputable" brands like Starbucks and Trader Joe's). Number three on their list is Dunkin' Donuts, which is also their "Best Buy." Number one on their list is Caribou.
posted by yoink at 4:17 PM on June 14, 2006



delmoi I'd love it if it had actually aired, and unfortunately I can't find any official word from General Mills about it, so for now I have to go with "I don't think so." The dude's site apparently shut down so I have no idea where he is, either. Googling Nutrigrain and "i feel great" kicks up a lot of viral video sites, so I mean, in a sense I guess they DID get eyeballs out of it... but I"m not sure they'd be willing to readily admit they liked them.
posted by cavalier at 4:22 PM on June 14, 2006


Though I know that no one will read my comment buried so far down here, I gots to say I loved that, commerical or no. I don't drink coffee, so it's not like it's going to sell me anything, but I do appreciate twisted and bizarre senses of humor.

Bravo!
posted by malaprohibita at 4:26 PM on June 14, 2006


yoink, consumer reports has been a worthless industry shill for at least a couple of decades now.

Just looking at the problem objectively with SCIENCE: Coffee beans have essential oils that make coffee coffee. These oils are destroyed or lost through oxidisation, heat, evaporation, and pre-grinding. Manufacturer-ground coffee from unknown beans = crap coffee. The best coffee comes from freshly roasted and properly stored beans that have been ground just prior to brewing.

It's also possible that if you did a blind tasting yourself, you find that what you "know" you like and what you "actually" like are rather different things.

Sorry, that's not possible. I could smell the difference without even having to taste it. But then I'm a coffee whore.
posted by loquacious at 4:38 PM on June 14, 2006


Er loquacious, Consumer Reports are taking the big money from Folgers but rank little known Caribou first? Why?

As to your capacity to tell the difference between Folgers and whatever you drink from 40 paces, I never for one second said that that was impossible. I don't drink Folger's, so everything you say about them may be true.

BUT: I do notice that the more people bluster about their ability to make discriminations that others cannot make, the more either a) they are unwilling to put those claims to a truly double-blind test or b) they have to come up with bizarre rationalizations for why--in a blind test--they actually failed to make the distinctions they claimed were so clear. (And yes, I'm looking at you High End Audiophiles and your fear of ABX testing and you Oenophiles and your "but one needs to already KNOW the terroir before you can taste its absolutely unmistakeable qualities...")
posted by yoink at 4:47 PM on June 14, 2006


Why does that feel like it was made by a Japanese director?
posted by craniac at 5:02 PM on June 14, 2006


booms of shotguns

Now tell me this, how the hell are you going to kill sunbeams with a shotgun? Don't get me wrong, as far as surreal advertising goes, having a bunch of over-tired night owls trying to blast holes in sunbeams is certainly a great way to go. But I don't think you can do much to a sunbeam with a gun or chain saw.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 5:28 PM on June 14, 2006


Consumer Reports are taking the big money from Folgers but rank little known Caribou first? Why?

Consumer Reports takes money from no one. They have no advertisers, they aren't paid to have products included in their testing.
posted by Dreama at 5:30 PM on June 14, 2006


True, but they seem to love Sears way too much. What is up with that?
posted by caddis at 5:42 PM on June 14, 2006


lodurr said: ... because at Saatchi, they just know that those pharmas are hell-bent on melting all the fat out of our bodies ("chemically!"), presumably for sale to overseas soap manufacturers....

As an American soap maker, I promise to buy American.

Folgers: Swill, but not the swilliest of the mass market coffee brands. Wouldn't buy it, but wouldn't ridicule a friend who served it.

Commercial: Spooky. I liked it. Pretty much, in my mind, everyone one of you morning people is a glowy oompa loompa until about my third cup of coffee.
posted by dejah420 at 6:01 PM on June 14, 2006


Consumer Reports takes money from no one. They have no advertisers, they aren't paid to have products included in their testing.

I was being ironic about loquacious's claim.
posted by yoink at 6:26 PM on June 14, 2006


I liked the commercial. I guess I count as one of the glowing oompa loompas. I always jump out of bed five minutes before my alarm at 4am, wide awake and ready to go. I love mornings. And I drink coffee, but I drink it for the smell and it makes a nice hot morning drink.
posted by effwerd at 6:35 PM on June 14, 2006


Folgers: Swill, but not the swilliest of the mass market coffee brands. Wouldn't buy it, but wouldn't ridicule a friend who served it.

Nor would I. I might be a snooty bastard when it comes to coffee but I'm not ungracious. Though next time around I might bring a pound of my favorite grounds as a gift, which I've done 'cause it's nice to share nice things.
posted by loquacious at 6:38 PM on June 14, 2006


delmoi [and vitia] - the people who snorted LSD didn't do it intentionally. They thought it was cocaine, and thus ended up with truly massive overdoses [a significant fraction of the postulated lethal dose of 14000ug.] Impressively, all were back to normal within 12 hours, although several had been comatose when brought to the hospital. Erowid has a copy of the paper written about them.
posted by ubersturm at 7:18 PM on June 14, 2006


I was really hoping that the guy at the end would pour himself a cup of coffee and then throw a hot pot of coffee on the oompah-loompahs.
posted by Frank Grimes at 9:12 PM on June 14, 2006


Shrooms vs. LSD: As has been said, the effects are not only different between people, but the effects are different depending on the particular chemical composition and size of a given dose.

I have personally experienced two dramatic differences between the drugs.

The emotional experience has been different. Mushrooms have given me a greater sense of easygoing fun. LSD trips are more likely to be filled with dread.

The other difference: the particular characteristics of the visual hallucinations, if you are even able to experience them.

Mushrooms seem more fuzzy to me. The hallucinations are warm and blend into each other. Even urban environs can seem like the jungle. Everything seems a bit more dreamy and hazy.

LSD visuals seem more angular or geometric to me. I am likely to envision three dimensional grids running through space. Crisp, lifelike hallucinations are possible for me. I have also experienced synaesthesia during an acid trip. It seemed that the hallucination was actually based on what was really there in the world. Sound waves translating into visuals that were consistent enough that I was able to use my guitar to mimic music on the radio, simply by matching the visuals.

That's been my experience.
posted by BoatMeme at 9:59 AM on June 15, 2006


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