U-G-L-Y you ain't got no alibi

July 11, 2006 11:46 AM

The Case of the Ugly Bride. They said she would be of fair complexion and able to speak English, but she wasn't - so the groom's family is suing the bride's relatives for fraud, deciet, conspiracy, unjust enrichment, violation of the Civil Rights Act, amongst other torrid claims.
posted by contessa (55 comments total)

On MARCH 23, 2006, Defendant Hertz Faxed and sent a "Mafia like" letter by Federal Express to Plaintiff, Dr. Pandey that was extreemly malicious, accusatory, threatening, intimidating, coercive and Hitlerite.
posted by delmoi at 11:55 AM on July 11, 2006

(delmoi, that was my favorite part. They godwinned themselves!!)
posted by contessa at 11:56 AM on July 11, 2006

Is that like Kryptonite somehow?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:58 AM on July 11, 2006

A marriage of sorts has taken place — between the ugliest characteristics of American and Indian cultures.
posted by orange swan at 12:03 PM on July 11, 2006

I don't see why arranged marriages are an ugly characteristic of Indian culture.
posted by oddman at 12:05 PM on July 11, 2006

I wouldneed to see an image of the woman to make up my mindhow I feel about this.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:06 PM on July 11, 2006

I suspect the plaintiff is either a noble and principled fighter for justice, or is under the influence of bhang.
posted by flashboy at 12:08 PM on July 11, 2006

No one is talking about how attractive or unattractive the potential groom is. Or who has more education.
posted by Red58 at 12:08 PM on July 11, 2006

No pictures!?
posted by 517 at 12:10 PM on July 11, 2006

Arranged with the consent of both bride and groom, perhaps not. But when it involves "bride prices" and/or forced marriage, it certainly is ugly.
posted by orange swan at 12:10 PM on July 11, 2006

..his 37-year-old son


Wow, someone needs to tell the old man to mind his own business.

At 37 it is hard to imagine my father dictating anything to me ESPECIALLY who I am going to marry. Also, doesn't 37 seem a bit late for an arrange marriage?
posted by a3matrix at 12:11 PM on July 11, 2006

Hitleresque, surely.
posted by boo_radley at 12:11 PM on July 11, 2006

The case being in Massachusetts, the first thing I looked for was to see what attorney or law firm signed the complaint, and I wasn't surprised to find that the groom's father wrote and signed the complaint himself.

There's a reason we have Rule 11 to keep attorneys from filing these suits - it doesn't stop people from doing it themselves, though.
posted by yhbc at 12:16 PM on July 11, 2006

Solution: stop having arranged marriages, you fucking barbarians.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 12:16 PM on July 11, 2006

Weird, I would have said Hilterian.
posted by mr_roboto at 12:17 PM on July 11, 2006

Ugly is as ugly does.
posted by leftcoastbob at 12:22 PM on July 11, 2006

It does have a certain Hitleritude.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:23 PM on July 11, 2006

Or should I say Hirlerity.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:23 PM on July 11, 2006

Um ... Hitlerity ensues!
posted by clearlynuts at 12:23 PM on July 11, 2006

The amazing thing is that this guy was so concerned with the bride's looks, and yet he never heard of this thing called a camera.
posted by Gamblor at 12:27 PM on July 11, 2006

The case being in Massachusetts, the first thing I looked for was a way to blame this on gay marriage.
posted by joe lisboa at 12:34 PM on July 11, 2006

Feedback: Item not as described! Seller unresponsive, would not take a return. I have denied payment.
posted by beerbajay at 12:35 PM on July 11, 2006

Oy. Did y'all make it to the end, where he demands a trial by jury on all counts? I would pay for a transcript of that, in the unlikely event it ever gets to that point. "Did you or did you not, on or about August 22, 2003, protrude your bad Hitlerite teeth at the parents of your handsome and fair-complected fiancé?"
posted by Gator at 12:36 PM on July 11, 2006

they were extremely shocked to find out that Savita was ugly with dark complexion and protruded bad teeth and couldn't speak English to carry on a conversation

I suppose buck-teeth could be fixed with braces, and you could hire an English tutor, but being dark-skinned is just an unforgivable sin.
posted by Gamblor at 12:38 PM on July 11, 2006

37 year old who's probably been dating someone unacceptable to his parents in secret for years, and now his parents are trying to buy him a wife. I've actually heard this story before, in modified form, from several people that attended my college. As long as mom and dad are calling the shots, I don't care how old you are physically - you're still a kid.
posted by 1adam12 at 12:40 PM on July 11, 2006

I miss Belchertown.
posted by Busithoth at 12:41 PM on July 11, 2006

Wouldn't this sort of thing be covered by the lemon law? I'm not familiar with Massachusetts statutes, but surely she could be returned for a full refund or traded in for another model?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:47 PM on July 11, 2006

Wouldn't this sort of thing be covered by the lemon law?

Illicit transactions such prostitution and drug dealing wouldn't be covered under such a law. This would qualify as an illicit transaction.
posted by orange swan at 1:06 PM on July 11, 2006

That's why I always arrange my foreign brides through a corporation with a 30-day money back guarantee.
posted by graventy at 1:07 PM on July 11, 2006

Raining, the Lemon Law in MA says that the dealer gets several opportunities to repair the merchandise. only if effective repairs are not made does the buyer get their money back. After that, they have to burn it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:08 PM on July 11, 2006

The Lemon Law also only applies to dealers in merchandise of the type purchased, not individual sellers.

Furthermore, defects covered by the warranty include a defect in the function or usefulness of a component or malfunction or combination thereof; defects that affect only appearance are not covered.

Hence, he's out of luck.
posted by yhbc at 1:16 PM on July 11, 2006

I feel sad for Savita in all this. International humiliation. But she's been saved marrying a total jerk and will get away from her creepy relatives.

Surprise, Hitlerite is an actual adjective.

The lyrics to U-G-L-Y You Ain't Got No Alibi.

Dr. Vijai Pandey should have tried Shaadi.com. (Shaadi in Hindi means marriage). Sounds like the guy who tried to marry off his niece had a history of using Dr. Vijai Pandey and that Pandey had reason to suspect a con. But the information in the lawsuit is typical of Indian matrimonials, biased about color and "fair complexion".

A poignantly honest matrimonial ad.

Fair and Lovely skin cream sold to Asian women to bleach their skin.

The origin of the word caste, in Sanskrit, is varna (literally meaning “color”). It refers to the ancient fourfold division of Hindu society based on color: the lighter the color, the higher the caste.

This was reinforced by British racism, promulgating the idea that the darker skinned Dravidians in South India were from a different, supposedly inferior race, to the lighter skinned Aryans in the North.

About arranged marriage.
posted by nickyskye at 1:17 PM on July 11, 2006

Tangential AskMe thread about Indian complexion here
posted by padraigin at 1:25 PM on July 11, 2006

I don't see why arranged marriages are an ugly characteristic of Indian culture.

Because this sort of thing happens all the time in India. Honestly, I don't even see why this is news.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:27 PM on July 11, 2006

wow -- many humble thanks to nickyskye for fleshing out the post with many great links!
posted by contessa at 1:56 PM on July 11, 2006

Caveat Emptor are the first two words you learn in a foreign language after an arranged marriage. btdt.
posted by infini at 2:39 PM on July 11, 2006

yhbc, Would you mind explaining a bit more what you meant about Rule 11 and this case? I'm curious and unfamiliar with legalese. I tried to make sense of your post but am bewildered. Are you saying that no lawyer in his right mind in Massachusetts would take on a "scandalous" case like this one and that's why Pandey's dad filed the lawsuit himself? Does that give the case less credence legally?

What about the poor women, Savita, does she stand any chance for legal retribution for having been so publicly shamed?

contessa, Thanks. Your post brings up a lot of thoughts for me. Not least of all the social punishment of being deemed U-G-L-Y.

Living in India for ten years, I was, like most Americans, appalled at the idea of arranged marriages. But then over the years, after being predictably mortified by the whole "wheatish complexion" obsession in the matrimonial ads, I saw that, for the most part, arranged marriages in India are made in good faith by the community of each person and endure, with love, far more frequently than Western marriages.

A cherished ex-boyfriend of mine, who was of the Thakur caste (a subdivision of the royal warring caste, the Rajputs), previously had "a love marriage" (not an arranged one) with a woman of the Untouchable caste, named Lily, whose skin was paradoxically dark. She cheated on him and they divorced. There was a folk song about his broken marriage, "your Lily is black", sung for many years after their union dissolved and he married a Western woman.

There is a marvellous movie about an Indian arranged marriage, called Monsoon Wedding. Very enjoyable and worth seeing.
posted by nickyskye at 2:43 PM on July 11, 2006

I'm personally shocked that this document was successfully submitted to a Court, considering all the misspellings and grammar errors make parts of it extremely unclear. Navigating it is a literary nightmare.
posted by galimatias at 3:40 PM on July 11, 2006

Maybe he'd have better luck suing for false advertising!
posted by clevershark at 3:55 PM on July 11, 2006

The girl is probably cute and certainly deserves better.
posted by drstein at 4:17 PM on July 11, 2006

Rule 11 prevents attorneys from signing frivolous documents submitted to a court. It has nothing to do with scandal. If you sign a pleading, like this, that you know has no legal merit and is intended only to harrass the defendant, you can be pretty severely sanctioned. At the least, if an attorney had prepared this he or she would be ordered to pay the other side's costs in responding.

Rule 11 is one of the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure that has been adopted by most states.
posted by ohio at 6:28 PM on July 11, 2006

nickyskye - Rule 11 of the Massachusetts Rules of Civil Procedure requires that if a party in a lawsuit is represented by counsel (a lawyer), any pleading in the case must be signed by that lawyer (or by an individual lawyer in the firm representing the party). The lawyer's signature certifies that the lawyer has read the pleading and that to the best of his or her knowledge and belief there is good grounds to support it - in other words, that the pleading (a complaint, in this instance) is not frivolous or vindictive, and is at least arguably likely to succeed under the current law or a reasonable extension or reversal of current law, if the facts asserted therein are proven to be true.

The Rule is obviously intended to cut down on groundless lawsuits, and it works well enough when lawyers are actually involved, because its practical impact is that if a pleading (or a whole case) is later found to be groundless or brought for bad reasons or no reasons at all, and a lawyer signed the pleading, that lawyer can be disciplined by having his or her license to practice law taken away - in essence, removing their means for making a livelihood.

I only made my comment because after reading the description of the case, and the first page of the complaint, I thought I would be very surprised if any Massachusetts lawyer had signed the complaint. When I went to the last page, I was not surprised - the complaint was signed only by the plaintiff (someone can always file a pleading "pro se" if they are not represented by counsel), which indicated to me that either no lawyer the family went to would dare to take the case or the family didn't bother going to a any lawyers in the first place.

Or, what ohio said.
posted by yhbc at 6:29 PM on July 11, 2006

ohio and yhbc, Thank you so much for taking the time and effort to clarify that for me. I understand your points thoroughly now.

It would seem this complaint is likely frivolous and Savita was globally shamed for no purpose whatsoever by this Pandey jerk.
posted by nickyskye at 7:06 PM on July 11, 2006

I have a feeling this case will be tossed out. Unfortunately these types of cases happen all too often in India and in the Indian American community. Not everyone who feels he has been wronged takes these cases to court.

When thinking of marriage for their son/daughter, the parents and relatives act like they're going out shopping for a car or something as trivial as purchasing a new pair of pants. What they could do is let their son/daughter decide for themselves who they will marry, and not dictate it to them.

Plus at 37, if you need help from your family to find a girl for you, you have more serious problems than you may care to admit to.
posted by ArunK at 7:41 PM on July 11, 2006

Plus at 37, if you need help from your family to find a girl for you, you have more serious problems than you may care to admit to.
posted by ArunK at 7:41 PM PST on July 11 [+fave] [!]

On the other hand in the Indian community's eyes, if you're putting your own advt's online there must be something wrong with you that neither a friend nor relative could be found for 'form's sake' - which while trivial seeming to others, provides much need 'face' saving layers. i.e. a third party rejecting you is never as bad as being directly rejected. Something that didn't go right in this case.
posted by infini at 8:02 PM on July 11, 2006

you know, i can't say i'm for arranged marriages and all that seems to come with it, but ... it seems to me that people who live in a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce ought to be a little less judgemental about india's customs
posted by pyramid termite at 9:00 PM on July 11, 2006

omg, A friend just told me about the train bombings, massacre in Mumbai. My heart goes out to the familes, husbands, wives and children who were injured and the families of those that were injured or killed.
posted by nickyskye at 9:53 PM on July 11, 2006

you know, i can't say i'm for arranged marriages and all that seems to come with it, but ... it seems to me that people who live in a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce ought to be a little less judgemental about india's customs

I saw a documentary about arranged marriages in India, and one important fact which was depicted in it was the idea that people stay together for the kids. Even if they get the crap beat out of them on a regular basis, burned with acid for not giving the husband enough dowry money, etc, a lot of women would still rather "stand by their man". People look down on you if you get divorced, or have a kid out of wedlock, they think its not honorable. All the crap that happens here also happens there, even more so, I would say. Its just behind closed doors and not talked about in public.

So this whole argument about divorce rate being low there is a lot of BS.
posted by ArunK at 11:06 PM on July 11, 2006

Hrmph.

Indians do what they wish, according to their own values. If they value their culture/tradition over their own choice, that is how they will do things. It isn't my place to find fault in it. Rather, to wish them the best.

I might attempt to influence their choice, or, at least, how they choose. Surely an arranged marriage doesn't have to be a bad thing. IMO, a good man values his wife. A happy wife raises the best kids, and makes a happy home. This is conducive to prosperity.

I don't know much about their culture, I just like the food and music and antiquities. I've known some nice people that were Indian. I've met a few that weren't nice. Kinda like Americans, Brits, Germans, Belgians, French...

Given that such arrangements are their way of doing things, and if the facts as presented are true, I say, have at it, pal. So they tried to pass off an ugly cousin as a beauty, and she couldn't even carry a conversation? The fact that conversation was a criteria suggests that the values used were something better than most imply here.
posted by Goofyy at 3:18 AM on July 12, 2006

Lallan and Kanti sent a picture of Savita and Telephone Number in India and Vijai told them that he and Lalita couldn't tell much about Savita's complexion and beauty from it...

Perhaps this is what made us question the "values" he was concerned with most.....
posted by CwgrlUp at 8:12 AM on July 12, 2006

you know, i can't say i'm for arranged marriages and all that seems to come with it, but ... it seems to me that people who live in a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce ought to be a little less judgemental about india's customs
posted by pyramid termite at 9:00 PM PST on July 11

Even if we had a 99% divorce rate, the people involved are at least autonomous agents, instead of middle-aged children who need their mommy and daddy to give them orders.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 8:13 AM on July 12, 2006

Divorce is not the worst thing that can happen in a marriage, you know.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:31 AM on July 12, 2006

uh kirth murder is part of their culture who are we to judge
posted by Optimus Chyme at 10:34 AM on July 12, 2006

Yeah, you're right - what was I thinking?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 10:38 AM on July 12, 2006

An earlier related post.

pyramid termite - it seems to me that people who live in a country where 50% of marriages end in divorce ought to be a little less judgemental about india's customs

Cite, please. I have read this factoid at many sites on the Intarweb, but I suspect there's a technicality or fine print involved which is omitted or obscured.
posted by daksya at 2:13 PM on July 13, 2006