Comments on: I want to be/under the sea . . .

I want to be/under the sea . . .

jason's_planet — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:07:59 -0800

"If you have to ask how much it costs, you can't afford it." Buying a megayacht is soooo 1998. Today's hip gazillionaire knows that the future of disgustingly conspicuous consumption lies beneath the waves. Advances in technology (and corresponding concentrations of wealth) have made the personal submarine a reality for the super-rich. And what about the rest of us, who do have to ask how much it costs? For us, the plebeian majority, there's a website devoted to rolling your own.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:10:01 -0800

I betcha some of these rich weirdos are riding their peronal submarines through the sewers so they can look up our toilets. Perverts.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:13:50 -0800

The Brown Trout 1000

By: squalor

squalor — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:18:19 -0800

Back in '02, my visitors voted it porn.

By: clevershark

clevershark — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:23:13 -0800

From the second link: A source last week implied that he may want to trade up: "If other people have got bigger ones, he will have to be told that he's behind the times." No one in the Premiership has a bigger one than Abramovich. I was speaking about his payroll.

By: notmydesk

notmydesk — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:38:59 -0800

Owning your own submarine is like owning an invisible mansion. If people can't see how disgustingly wealthy you are, what's the point?

By: languagehat

languagehat — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:45:18 -0800

Pfft. Nemo had one back in 1866.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 12:48:37 -0800

Owning your own submarine is like owning an invisible mansion. If people can't see how disgustingly wealthy you are, what's the point? I think people buy submarines after they've purchased a series of highly visible mansions. In other words, after they've established their status.

By: cenoxo

cenoxo — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:01:50 -0800

Show those bass boats who's boss: be the first kid in your pond to have a personal Nautilus minisub. Other DIY models at psubs.org.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:04:36 -0800

I want my own rocketbus.

By: patricio

patricio — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:42:07 -0800

notmydesk: I'm sure that surfacing your personal submarine in middle of the Monte Carlo marina on F1 weekend would be a highly visible way of showing just how much cash you have. As Ben Elton put it "Richer than god but with the social conscience of a dog on a croquet field".

By: substrate

substrate — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 13:47:02 -0800

I'd have bought one, but they balked when I asked about first strike capability.

By: Potsy

Potsy — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 14:03:52 -0800

You know who else had his own private submarine? L Ron Hubbard. Hell, he had his own private navy.

By: PinkStainlessTail

PinkStainlessTail — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 14:30:18 -0800

Hell, he had his own private navy. A three or four tarted up cruise ships and some ludicrous uniforms do not a navy make.

By: rob511

rob511 — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 15:55:52 -0800

"Big deal — a personal sub," he said wetly. "Why not set your sights a bit higher ... the triphibian atomicar?" he suggested airily.

By: Steven C. Den Beste

Steven C. Den Beste — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 16:01:33 -0800

There's no point in owning a submarine unless it's painted yellow.

By: 999

999 — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 16:36:08 -0800

They found him then?

By: baylink

baylink — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 16:41:13 -0800

three or four tarted up cruise ships and some ludicrous uniforms do not a navy make. They do if you tell all the people crewing them "I'm the admiral" and they do as you say, which includes shooting at other boats. :-)

By: nickerbocker

nickerbocker — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 16:50:34 -0800

I want a submarine!

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:08:35 -0800

A Swiftie! Yay! I heart rob511!

By: fluffycreature

fluffycreature — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:13:22 -0800

Damn, I was hoping for an underwater home. Something Bond-ish, say off the cost of Miami. Up for the sunrise, perhaps down for the day, in about 25 feet of water, with the maintenance, etc. below you. Seriously though, how bad do people feel when you see the richest (Gates, Buffet) just giving it away to the world's benefit and you are trolling in on your gazillion dollar yacht. "Nice yacht... have you provided funding for the cure of any diseases? Have you?"

By: rob511

rob511 — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:24:26 -0800

"Well, really, fff, I contributed two Swifties," he added. er, three now...

By: mph

mph — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 17:37:24 -0800

I've totally got this red paperclip I'll trade for the Phoenix 1000.

By: notyou

notyou — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:29:55 -0800

Notmydesk is right: hell with the sub. I plan to humiliate the Joneses with the girth of my luxury zeppelin.

By: rocketman

rocketman — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 18:41:54 -0800

Owning a luxury sub will be all the rage until the US Navy blows one of these assholes out of the water. It's only a matter of time.

By: Bugbread

Bugbread — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:08:22 -0800

jason's_planet : "Today's hip gazillionaire knows that the future of disgustingly conspicuous consumption lies beneath the waves." Submarines conspicious? This explains their use in WWII. "Captain, there's a submarine to the starboard side. What should we do?" "Ignore it. It's a decoy. No-one would try to attack with something as conspicuous as a submarine."

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:35:53 -0800

Damn, I was hoping for an underwater home. Something Bond-ish, say off the cost of Miami. Up for the sunrise, perhaps down for the day, in about 25 feet of water, with the maintenance, etc. below you. US Subs does underwater habitats too. Submarines conspicious? Sorry, bugbread. I should have said "beneath the waves and surfacing just outside ritzy ports A, B and C, with these spectacles being broadcast and ballyhooed by a small army of publicists and tabloid journalists."

By: rolypolyman

rolypolyman — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 19:54:16 -0800

By the look of the website, this looks like vaporware.

By: thirteenkiller

thirteenkiller — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:35:32 -0800

I want one.

By: cenoxo

cenoxo — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:21:51 -0800

A big tip o' the diving helmet to rob511 for the Triphibian Atomicar link (I had all those TS Jr. books as a kid.) While we're daydreaming, Syndrome's flying manta ray sub in The Incredibles^{^} looks like a great commute. "More mimosa?":

And let's not forget the VTTBOTS Flying Sub.

By: bruceo

bruceo — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:38:27 -0800

i'm with rolypolyman. these "luxury submarine" sites have been around since back in the day, and i have yet to see a convincing photo of a real live sub-yacht. it's all renders as near as i can tell. you'd think they would have a promo pic of something they, you know, sold to someone.

By: IshmaelGraves

IshmaelGraves — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:48:47 -0800

Seriously though, how bad do people feel when you see the richest (Gates, Buffet) just giving it away to the world's benefit and you are trolling in on your gazillion dollar yacht. "Nice yacht... have you provided funding for the cure of any diseases? Have you?" You know, I may just be a nihilistic greedy SOB with the social conscience of Genghis Khan, but speaking only for myself I kind of feel like knowing that I had my own private freaking submarine would go a hell of a long way toward assuaging any moral qualms.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 21:57:18 -0800

By the look of the website, this looks like vaporware. It is -- the webpage says that they were paid to draw up some plans for the sub, but it never came to pass. US Subs does make real no-shit tourist subs though. Sigh. I may be the only person who actually liked the Tom Swift 3 series in the space habimatat. But I was always more of a Danny Dunn kind of guy anyway.

By: djeo

djeo — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 23:01:20 -0800

Hell yeah. Danny Dunn was the shiz. Bullfinch and Grimes played a mean duet IIRC.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 17 Jul 2006 23:50:40 -0800

While Irene Miller danced her mystic hoochy-koochy in the background... or was she in the Henry Reed books?

By: pracowity

pracowity — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 02:58:34 -0800

If people can't see how disgustingly wealthy you are, what's the point? You don't stay at sea forever. You go from fancy marina to fancy marina, you have famous friends aboard to help spread the word (they will brag about their trips on your submarine), you pose for photographers from the conning tower. Maybe you take a few orphans and reporters out for a quick ride (not long enough that they might need to use your toilets, though). And then you tell reporters that you were forced to buy a submarine to avoid the paparazzi.

By: pax digita

pax digita — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 05:14:42 -0800

If it's a real submarine, who cares whether it's yellow -- when you're at patrol depth, no one can see you anyhow.